Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
holiday, bitches!
i. am. outta. here.
all the best to you and yours.
see you on the flip side, hos!
(unless of course i finally get around to completing my wish list...)
all the best to you and yours.
see you on the flip side, hos!
(unless of course i finally get around to completing my wish list...)
word of the day - dec 23 08
holiday
noun
1. a day fixed by law or custom on which ordinary business is suspended in commemoration of some event or in honour of some person.
2. any day of exemption from work.
3. a time or period of exemption from any requirement, duty, assessment, etc.: New businesses may be granted a one-year tax holiday.
4. a religious feast day; holy day, esp. any of several usually commemorative holy days observed in Judaism.
5. sometimes, holidays. chiefly British. a period of cessation from work or one of recreation; vacation.
6. an unintentional gap left on a plated, coated, or painted surface
noun
1. a day fixed by law or custom on which ordinary business is suspended in commemoration of some event or in honour of some person.
2. any day of exemption from work.
3. a time or period of exemption from any requirement, duty, assessment, etc.: New businesses may be granted a one-year tax holiday.
4. a religious feast day; holy day, esp. any of several usually commemorative holy days observed in Judaism.
5. sometimes, holidays. chiefly British. a period of cessation from work or one of recreation; vacation.
6. an unintentional gap left on a plated, coated, or painted surface
weekend project
if i were also desperately lonely and lived in a land without this new-fangled thing they like to call the internet, i'd SO do this:
i (maybe not so) secretly like star wars. not love, like. and only the original 3... none of that 'george lucas loves money' shit with the prequels and the cartoons and nonsense like that.
"60,000 Piece LEGO Hoth Battle Diorama"
i (maybe not so) secretly like star wars. not love, like. and only the original 3... none of that 'george lucas loves money' shit with the prequels and the cartoons and nonsense like that."60,000 Piece LEGO Hoth Battle Diorama"
better than devry
speaking of klingons...
i'd just like to bring something to your attention:
The Klingon Language Institute
i'd just like to bring something to your attention:
The Klingon Language Institute
twitchy eye
dear people who think they're too good for the world,
do you actually even know what you freaking want?
thinks he's too good (THTG): oh, can you print these drawings?
me: here are your drawings!
THTG: oh, but i wanted them printed like this...
me: ok, here are your new drawings!
THTG: oh, but i wanted them centred...
me: ok, here are your new-new drawings.
THTG: oh, but i wanted the purple monkey dishwasher to be green... oh and could i have them like, yesterday? you probably don't have anything else to do... no one else could possibly want you to do something for them for the whole day, right? you can squeeze this 4 hour project in between what i see you're currently working on, right? oh, but could you not charge any time to my job? yeah, that'd be great.
yeah... no.
and what's with you people and waiting until crunch time to get this shit done? the drawings need to go out before lunch and but you just need to change this, this, this, this, and this and also do a jig in clogs. i hope you're not already doing something that ALSO has to go out before lunch... on the last day before everyone goes on holiday... because if they don't get there before lunch, they'll only sit there at the other office untouched for 2 weeks and 3 hours instead of sitting there untouched for 2 weeks and 4 hours and that wouldn't be good.
grrr... this is making me all grouchy just in time for christmas.
and YES! i do realize the irony of taking up my valuable time in which i need to get everything in the world finished to blog about how i don't have time to do your stupid project. i'll still get it done because i'm awesome.
kittens & klingons,
jenn
do you actually even know what you freaking want?
thinks he's too good (THTG): oh, can you print these drawings?
me: here are your drawings!
THTG: oh, but i wanted them printed like this...
me: ok, here are your new drawings!
THTG: oh, but i wanted them centred...
me: ok, here are your new-new drawings.
THTG: oh, but i wanted the purple monkey dishwasher to be green... oh and could i have them like, yesterday? you probably don't have anything else to do... no one else could possibly want you to do something for them for the whole day, right? you can squeeze this 4 hour project in between what i see you're currently working on, right? oh, but could you not charge any time to my job? yeah, that'd be great.
yeah... no.
and what's with you people and waiting until crunch time to get this shit done? the drawings need to go out before lunch and but you just need to change this, this, this, this, and this and also do a jig in clogs. i hope you're not already doing something that ALSO has to go out before lunch... on the last day before everyone goes on holiday... because if they don't get there before lunch, they'll only sit there at the other office untouched for 2 weeks and 3 hours instead of sitting there untouched for 2 weeks and 4 hours and that wouldn't be good.
grrr... this is making me all grouchy just in time for christmas.
and YES! i do realize the irony of taking up my valuable time in which i need to get everything in the world finished to blog about how i don't have time to do your stupid project. i'll still get it done because i'm awesome.
kittens & klingons,
jenn
Monday, December 22, 2008
a pretty sweet kick in the face...
check out the e-mail our gracious overlords sent us on friday when the whole human race was about to be wiped out by the great white death:
Due to the severe weather conditions some of you may wish to leave the office early today.
If you have chosen to leave early or were unable to attend work doe to the severe weather you will need to either:
a. Make up the time within the next three weeks
b. Take vacation or banked time
c. if neither of the above is possible then employees should enter the time as unpaid leave
Please drive cautiously and stay safe.
Human Resources
yeah, merry fucking christmas to you too!
Due to the severe weather conditions some of you may wish to leave the office early today.
If you have chosen to leave early or were unable to attend work doe to the severe weather you will need to either:
a. Make up the time within the next three weeks
b. Take vacation or banked time
c. if neither of the above is possible then employees should enter the time as unpaid leave
Please drive cautiously and stay safe.
Human Resources
yeah, merry fucking christmas to you too!
i am the bruce willis of snow-maggedon!
(except i didn't die)
i blew that shit up! saved the planet and everything!
ok, so maybe i made some of that up.
but i DID survive the weekend and expertly weathered (HA!) the best mother nature has hurled at us yet this winter. and not only did i survive, i blatantly defied the snow and DID STUFF! ha HA! i went out friday AND saturday! i am not afraid!
more snow and RAIN in the forecast leading up to christmas? no problem. bring it on! i just hope santa is as fearless as me!
i blew that shit up! saved the planet and everything!
ok, so maybe i made some of that up.
but i DID survive the weekend and expertly weathered (HA!) the best mother nature has hurled at us yet this winter. and not only did i survive, i blatantly defied the snow and DID STUFF! ha HA! i went out friday AND saturday! i am not afraid!
more snow and RAIN in the forecast leading up to christmas? no problem. bring it on! i just hope santa is as fearless as me!
word of the day - dec 22 08
kibbutz
noun
an Israeli communal settlement, especially a farm co-operative.
ok, i get that english is like the mutt of all languages but...
what is a blatently non-english word doing in the english dictionary???
noun
an Israeli communal settlement, especially a farm co-operative.
ok, i get that english is like the mutt of all languages but...
what is a blatently non-english word doing in the english dictionary???
Friday, December 19, 2008
you risked life and limb for WHAT???
creeping home from work (early) on the snowy, snowy road through a raging snowstorm i saw a pair of people trekking along pulling a toboggan full of...
...
wait for it...
...
BEER!
and not even good beer! they had 2 cases of blue... gawd, if i was going to be snowed in my house for the weekend i would do myself a solid and get some decent beer!
...
wait for it...
...
BEER!
and not even good beer! they had 2 cases of blue... gawd, if i was going to be snowed in my house for the weekend i would do myself a solid and get some decent beer!
it's heeeere!
the white death is upon us!
icky, icky, icky, ICKY!
i loathe the winter... but i guess not so much that i'm willing to give it up completely and move to a place where they've never even heard of snow. i suppose it could be worse; i could live in buffalo. and i'm not even talking about the crazy-insane snow they get.
icky, icky, icky, ICKY!
i loathe the winter... but i guess not so much that i'm willing to give it up completely and move to a place where they've never even heard of snow. i suppose it could be worse; i could live in buffalo. and i'm not even talking about the crazy-insane snow they get.
word of the day - dec 19 08
iambic
adjective
1. of or consisting of iambic measures.
oh absolutely perfect... i have absolutely no idea what the word means and you go ahead and use the word to define itself. how useless is that? i HATE it when they do that!
2. a foot or measure in poetry consisting of two syllables, an unaccented followed by an accented or a short syllable followed by a long.
and i still don't exactly know what the word means... and certainly not how to use it. an example of something iambic might have been helpful. all the examples of text using the word only describe something as iambic. and they're followed but the word pentameter... what's a pentameter?
bonus word of the day
pentameter
noun
1. a line of verse consisting of five metrical feet.
2. also called elegiac pentameter. classic parody. a verse consisting of two dactyls, one long syllable, two more dactyls, and another long syllable.
3. unrhymed verse of five iambic feet; heroic verse.
bonus BONUS word of the day
dactyl
noun
1. prosody. a foot of three syllables, one long followed by two short in quantitative meter, or one stressed followed by two unstressed in accentual meter, as in gently and humanly.
2. a finger or toe.
see this... all that up there... that's why i'm not a poet. who know there were so many rules for that poetry-type stuff? all too confusing if you ask me. isn't poetry supposed to be free-form or something? a form of expression? i didn't know there was a set procedure (?) for expressing as such.
adjective
1. of or consisting of iambic measures.
oh absolutely perfect... i have absolutely no idea what the word means and you go ahead and use the word to define itself. how useless is that? i HATE it when they do that!
2. a foot or measure in poetry consisting of two syllables, an unaccented followed by an accented or a short syllable followed by a long.
and i still don't exactly know what the word means... and certainly not how to use it. an example of something iambic might have been helpful. all the examples of text using the word only describe something as iambic. and they're followed but the word pentameter... what's a pentameter?
bonus word of the day
pentameter
noun
1. a line of verse consisting of five metrical feet.
2. also called elegiac pentameter. classic parody. a verse consisting of two dactyls, one long syllable, two more dactyls, and another long syllable.
3. unrhymed verse of five iambic feet; heroic verse.
bonus BONUS word of the day
dactyl
noun
1. prosody. a foot of three syllables, one long followed by two short in quantitative meter, or one stressed followed by two unstressed in accentual meter, as in gently and humanly.
2. a finger or toe.
see this... all that up there... that's why i'm not a poet. who know there were so many rules for that poetry-type stuff? all too confusing if you ask me. isn't poetry supposed to be free-form or something? a form of expression? i didn't know there was a set procedure (?) for expressing as such.
sicence lesson of the day
THE PERIODIC TABLE OF AWESOMENTS!!!
and that kids, is all you need to know. about life.
put this and this alone on your resume and BLAMO! job.
forget university. THIS is the answer to all life's questions.
for a version you won't bust a cataract trying to read, go here. no really, do it! you won't be disappointed.
[Dapperstache via Geekologie]
and that kids, is all you need to know. about life.put this and this alone on your resume and BLAMO! job.
forget university. THIS is the answer to all life's questions.
for a version you won't bust a cataract trying to read, go here. no really, do it! you won't be disappointed.
[Dapperstache via Geekologie]
unable to comply
i know i like to rag on the geekery of star wars and star trek related stuff but i'm going to let my inner nerd shine here for a moment because the following it totally un-fucking-acceptable.
star trek superstar Majel Barret-Roddenberry passed away last night!
while others are all on about her as nurse chapel or the ship's computer in like ALL star trek incarnations (including the fuckery that IS the upcoming star trek movie... i say fuckery because the trailer makes it look super lame! but how can ANYTHING with simon pegg AND john cho be lame?? we'll just have to wait and see...) but i'll always remember her as the loveable, completely crazy, and oft' naked cougar known as Lwaxana Troi!
R.I.P.
star trek superstar Majel Barret-Roddenberry passed away last night!
while others are all on about her as nurse chapel or the ship's computer in like ALL star trek incarnations (including the fuckery that IS the upcoming star trek movie... i say fuckery because the trailer makes it look super lame! but how can ANYTHING with simon pegg AND john cho be lame?? we'll just have to wait and see...) but i'll always remember her as the loveable, completely crazy, and oft' naked cougar known as Lwaxana Troi!
R.I.P.
thoughts...
i know i've said it before but...
isn't is the most maddening f'ing thing in the world when the wind is blowing the opposite way from how your hair is parted???
isn't is the most maddening f'ing thing in the world when the wind is blowing the opposite way from how your hair is parted???
always look on the bright side of life...
doo-doo, doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo!
some things in life are bad,
they can really make you mad.
other things just make you swear and curse.
when you're chewing on life's gristle,
don't grumble,
give a whistle!
and this'll help things turn out for the best!
aaaaaannnd...
i'm not seeing the bright side...
sadly, the forecasted snow-mageddon did not prevent me from coming into work this morning. even more sad - it may actually prevent me from getting home tonight!
some things in life are bad,
they can really make you mad.
other things just make you swear and curse.
when you're chewing on life's gristle,
don't grumble,
give a whistle!
and this'll help things turn out for the best!
aaaaaannnd...
i'm not seeing the bright side...
sadly, the forecasted snow-mageddon did not prevent me from coming into work this morning. even more sad - it may actually prevent me from getting home tonight!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
creepy!
"Foot found in baby's brain"
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
COLORADO SPRINGS–A pediatric neurosurgeon says a tumour he removed from the brain of a U.S. infant contained a tiny foot and other partially formed body parts.
Dr. Paul Grabb says he operated on Sam Esquibel at Memorial Hospital for Children, Colorado Springs, after an MRI showed a microscopic tumour on the newborn's brain. Sam was three days old and otherwise healthy.
Grabb says that while removing the growth, he discovered it contained a nearly perfect foot and the formation of another foot, a hand and a thigh.
"It looked like the breach delivery of a baby, coming out of the brain," Grabb said. "To find a perfectly formed structure (like this) is extremely unique, unusual, borderline unheard of."
Grabb isn't sure what caused the growth but says it may have been a type of congenital brain tumour. However, such tumours usually are less complex than a foot or hand, he said.
The growth may also have been a case of "fetus in fetu" – in which a fetal twin begins to form within another – but such cases very rarely occur in the brain, Grabb said.
Sam's parents, Tiffnie and Manuel Esquibel, say their son is at home now but faces monthly blood tests to check for signs of cancer or regrowth, along with physical therapy to improve the use of his neck. But they say he has mostly recovered from the Oct. 3 surgery.
"You'd never know if he didn't have a scar there," Tiffnie Esquibel said.
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
COLORADO SPRINGS–A pediatric neurosurgeon says a tumour he removed from the brain of a U.S. infant contained a tiny foot and other partially formed body parts.
Dr. Paul Grabb says he operated on Sam Esquibel at Memorial Hospital for Children, Colorado Springs, after an MRI showed a microscopic tumour on the newborn's brain. Sam was three days old and otherwise healthy.
Grabb says that while removing the growth, he discovered it contained a nearly perfect foot and the formation of another foot, a hand and a thigh.
"It looked like the breach delivery of a baby, coming out of the brain," Grabb said. "To find a perfectly formed structure (like this) is extremely unique, unusual, borderline unheard of."
Grabb isn't sure what caused the growth but says it may have been a type of congenital brain tumour. However, such tumours usually are less complex than a foot or hand, he said.
The growth may also have been a case of "fetus in fetu" – in which a fetal twin begins to form within another – but such cases very rarely occur in the brain, Grabb said.
Sam's parents, Tiffnie and Manuel Esquibel, say their son is at home now but faces monthly blood tests to check for signs of cancer or regrowth, along with physical therapy to improve the use of his neck. But they say he has mostly recovered from the Oct. 3 surgery.
"You'd never know if he didn't have a scar there," Tiffnie Esquibel said.
i can do better...
some nerd out there with WAY too much time on his or her hand and hoping to score in the friend department by making cookies created this... this... monstrosity.
there's plenty more gingerbread fuckery here but nothing there can hold a candle to the kick-ass house i made for the office christmas party!
there's plenty more gingerbread fuckery here but nothing there can hold a candle to the kick-ass house i made for the office christmas party!
word of the day - dec 18 08
dearth
noun
1. an inadequate supply; scarcity; lack: There is a dearth of good engineers.
2. scarcity and dearness of food; famine.
sorry for the dearth of posts today... i've been busy. with work! actual, honest-to-goodness work! from work! it's rare but it DOES happen. trust.
noun
1. an inadequate supply; scarcity; lack: There is a dearth of good engineers.
2. scarcity and dearness of food; famine.
sorry for the dearth of posts today... i've been busy. with work! actual, honest-to-goodness work! from work! it's rare but it DOES happen. trust.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
what a view!
langkawi sky-bridge in langkawi, malaysia
built in 2005, this bridge is one of the world's highest single-support bridges - 2000 feet above sea level! it's 410 feet long and amazingly less than 6 feet wide. my nerd genes are tingling! i'm not ashamed to say this bridge get me excited... VERY excited!
for more amazing bridges from all over the world, go here:
"World's Most Amazing Bridges"
built in 2005, this bridge is one of the world's highest single-support bridges - 2000 feet above sea level! it's 410 feet long and amazingly less than 6 feet wide. my nerd genes are tingling! i'm not ashamed to say this bridge get me excited... VERY excited!for more amazing bridges from all over the world, go here:
"World's Most Amazing Bridges"
is there anything this ho won't shill for?
check out this kinda creepy collector barbie for the 45th anniversary of alfred hitchcock's The Birds...
but seriously... barbie is worse than katie price when it comes to whoring out her name! i tell you, mattel is one hell of a pimp! below are (clockwise from top left) mcdonalds barbie, nascar barbie, ny yankees barbie, coca cola barbie, avon representative barbie and ferrari barbie.
avon. representative. barbie.
what?!?
i can understand, barbie being a fashion doll, why she'd be whored out to anna sui, juciy couture, and versace but avon? seriously...
whatever... if you find yourself with some extra time on your hands and can't think of ANY THING else to do, there are a TON more collectible barbie to look at here.
but seriously... barbie is worse than katie price when it comes to whoring out her name! i tell you, mattel is one hell of a pimp! below are (clockwise from top left) mcdonalds barbie, nascar barbie, ny yankees barbie, coca cola barbie, avon representative barbie and ferrari barbie.avon. representative. barbie.what?!?
i can understand, barbie being a fashion doll, why she'd be whored out to anna sui, juciy couture, and versace but avon? seriously...
whatever... if you find yourself with some extra time on your hands and can't think of ANY THING else to do, there are a TON more collectible barbie to look at here.
word of the day - dec 17 08
festive
adjective
1. pertaining to or suitable for a feast or festival: festive decoration; a festive meal.
2. joyous; merry: a festive mood.
you want to know what makes people festive?
liquor.
today was the office holiday potluck. it was just 'festive' enough.
adjective
1. pertaining to or suitable for a feast or festival: festive decoration; a festive meal.
2. joyous; merry: a festive mood.
you want to know what makes people festive?
liquor.
today was the office holiday potluck. it was just 'festive' enough.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
an ace at composition
i'm SO hiring the brilliant photographer whose work is displayed below to do my wedding pictures! who says getting the big picture matters??
if you're having trouble wrapping your head around 2/3 of a picture, let me tell you what's what. it's a giant wooden trout in kamloops, B.C.
for more stops on my future road trip go here:
"Big Canadian Roadside Attractions"
if you're having trouble wrapping your head around 2/3 of a picture, let me tell you what's what. it's a giant wooden trout in kamloops, B.C.for more stops on my future road trip go here:
"Big Canadian Roadside Attractions"
being PC - it's what the government's spending your money on.
did you know...?
the US navy is being forced to renovate a base on coronado island, san diego at a cost of $600,000...
just because SOME people happen to think it looks a wee tad like a swastika from the air.
also, check out this plane disappearing into thin air!
for more google earth oddities go here:
"Bizarre Things Seen on Google Earth"
the US navy is being forced to renovate a base on coronado island, san diego at a cost of $600,000...
just because SOME people happen to think it looks a wee tad like a swastika from the air.also, check out this plane disappearing into thin air!
for more google earth oddities go here:"Bizarre Things Seen on Google Earth"
they're in an eating race!
check out these hungry hungry hippos!
captured on google earth believe it or not!
captured on google earth believe it or not!
word of the day - dec 16 08
ablaut
noun
the systematic substitution of one root vowel sound for another in different inflectional forms or derivatives of a word, as in ring, rang, rung.
noun
the systematic substitution of one root vowel sound for another in different inflectional forms or derivatives of a word, as in ring, rang, rung.
Monday, December 15, 2008
whatevs...
i don't care so much about this story or anything... i could have earned with degree in video game design & development years ago from many accredited schools on the internet without ever leaving the comfort of my own home but i decided to get a real job instead. one that allows for ample blogging i might add.
ANYWAY...
what i enjoy about this (and want to share with you whether you like it or not) is the title of the story coupled with the brilliant picture choice. BEHOLD:
"NYU To Offer Video Game Degree Next Fall"
if you don't get it, you don't get it. i can't fault you for that but i'm also not going to let you in on the joke. those of you who get it, join me in a hale & hearty chuckle!
ANYWAY...
what i enjoy about this (and want to share with you whether you like it or not) is the title of the story coupled with the brilliant picture choice. BEHOLD:
"NYU To Offer Video Game Degree Next Fall"
if you don't get it, you don't get it. i can't fault you for that but i'm also not going to let you in on the joke. those of you who get it, join me in a hale & hearty chuckle!
word of the day - dec 15 08
petulant
adjective
moved to or showing sudden, impatient irritation, ecp. over some trifling annoyance: a petulant toss of the head.
adjective
moved to or showing sudden, impatient irritation, ecp. over some trifling annoyance: a petulant toss of the head.
f*cking leave me a-freaking-lone!
FUCK!
i've been trying to watch this movie trailer for the last 30 minutes... the thing is only 2 minutes and 15 seconds long and fucking people here won't even leave me alone for a fucking minute! i've started the trailer 6 fucking times! and every time someone comes up to me with what they fel is the most important thing in the entire world at that moment.
it's monday and i'm already having a bad fucking day for no reason and this shit isn't helping. can't your stupid-ass request wait for like... i dunno... 2 minutes and 15 seconds? guaranteed, the world will NOT end if you have to wait 2 minutes and 15 seconds.
i've been trying to watch this movie trailer for the last 30 minutes... the thing is only 2 minutes and 15 seconds long and fucking people here won't even leave me alone for a fucking minute! i've started the trailer 6 fucking times! and every time someone comes up to me with what they fel is the most important thing in the entire world at that moment.
it's monday and i'm already having a bad fucking day for no reason and this shit isn't helping. can't your stupid-ass request wait for like... i dunno... 2 minutes and 15 seconds? guaranteed, the world will NOT end if you have to wait 2 minutes and 15 seconds.
who throws a shoe? honestly! you fight like a woman!
i thought only the alleged gang rapist known as random task was trained well enough to use his shoe in a fight... apparently i was wrong.
watch that smug bastard laugh it off! he's all giggles after the fact; he even makes a joke! but imagine if that shoe was a 4-inch stiletto... it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye - then it's a sport. professional shoe hurling. i'm an olympian.
to read more about bush dodging and not my olympic career go here:
"Bush dodges thrown shoes in Baghdad"
Visiting American leader laughs off assult attempted considered supreme insult in Middle East culture
watch that smug bastard laugh it off! he's all giggles after the fact; he even makes a joke! but imagine if that shoe was a 4-inch stiletto... it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye - then it's a sport. professional shoe hurling. i'm an olympian.
to read more about bush dodging and not my olympic career go here:
"Bush dodges thrown shoes in Baghdad"
Visiting American leader laughs off assult attempted considered supreme insult in Middle East culture
Friday, December 12, 2008
baconator, you just got owned!
some bacon lover out there has taken the art of bacon gourmet to the next level. not sated by the 840 calories and 6 pieces of bacon offered up by wendy's baconator, this chef of chefs has come up with the ULTIMATE bacon dish.
behold, it's what your arteries have been craving...
the bacon and cheese roll!
can anyone say 'bacon induced orgasm'?
well, i can. but i'm not going to. at least not more than once.
behold, it's what your arteries have been craving...
the bacon and cheese roll!
can anyone say 'bacon induced orgasm'?well, i can. but i'm not going to. at least not more than once.
barbie wants your brains
when i first saw this picture for creating your very own zombie barbie, i was all like, "why does zombie barbie have her panties around her ankles? is she like slutty zombie barbie?"
turns out, it's an arm she ripped off some unsuspecting skipper doll and chewed on for a little bit... neato!
turns out, it's an arm she ripped off some unsuspecting skipper doll and chewed on for a little bit... neato!
oh perfect!
in the last 2 years, i have been to BOTH of the hospitals with the worst death rates in the country in the year they were rated the worst!
last year it was kitchener's grand river hospital.
this year it's markham stouffville hospital.
good thing i wasn't there for anything serious!
unfortunately, the atricle fails to mention which hospital you should go to if you want to live... they only talk about the worst. helpful.
read more:
"Markham Stouffville Hospital has Canada's worst death rate"
But mortality rates have improved at 3 other lagging Ontario facilities
last year it was kitchener's grand river hospital.
this year it's markham stouffville hospital.
good thing i wasn't there for anything serious!
unfortunately, the atricle fails to mention which hospital you should go to if you want to live... they only talk about the worst. helpful.
read more:
"Markham Stouffville Hospital has Canada's worst death rate"
But mortality rates have improved at 3 other lagging Ontario facilities
word of the day - dec 12 08
beatific
adjective
1. exaltedly happy; blissful.
2. blessing or making exceedingly happy.
i am beatific over the fact that it is finally friday!
PS - my spellchecker doesn't like the word 'exaltedly'... even though it comes from a dictionary definition! but it has no problem with the word 'spellchecker'... weird. is it possible that my spellchecker has self-awareness and can comprehend the consequences of saying that it is spelled wrong? chew on that for awhile!
adjective
1. exaltedly happy; blissful.
2. blessing or making exceedingly happy.
i am beatific over the fact that it is finally friday!
PS - my spellchecker doesn't like the word 'exaltedly'... even though it comes from a dictionary definition! but it has no problem with the word 'spellchecker'... weird. is it possible that my spellchecker has self-awareness and can comprehend the consequences of saying that it is spelled wrong? chew on that for awhile!
belated word of the day - dec 11 08
remiss
adjective
1. negligent, careless, or slow in performing one's duty, business, etc.: He's terribly remiss in his work.
2. characterized by negligence or carelessness.
3. lacking force or energy; languid; sluggish.
i was remiss in my blogging duties yesterday... i was home sick!
i have also been horribly remiss is my wish list blogging. i'm not making any excuses there. i'm just lazy. next year we're SO going with the 12 days of christmas ONLY.
adjective
1. negligent, careless, or slow in performing one's duty, business, etc.: He's terribly remiss in his work.
2. characterized by negligence or carelessness.
3. lacking force or energy; languid; sluggish.
i was remiss in my blogging duties yesterday... i was home sick!
i have also been horribly remiss is my wish list blogging. i'm not making any excuses there. i'm just lazy. next year we're SO going with the 12 days of christmas ONLY.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
getting crafty, pony style
someone with possibly a bit of a mental disorder (hey, there's nothing wrong with that! some of my best friends have mental disorders) made these awesome star wars ponies!
i still have my my little ponies... or the my little ponies that belonged to me. they're in a box somewhere. i might just have to go dig them out and have a little pony time. brush their manes, make them gallop, have them go to war with my troll dolls... ah, memories!
for even more modified my little ponies, go here!
i still have my my little ponies... or the my little ponies that belonged to me. they're in a box somewhere. i might just have to go dig them out and have a little pony time. brush their manes, make them gallop, have them go to war with my troll dolls... ah, memories!for even more modified my little ponies, go here!
christmas miracle?
DE-nied!
proving that he hates us all, jesus once again refused to turn water into wine.
"Wine bottles filled with water recalled"
Ontario's Liquor Control Board is recalling an Italian wine, but not for the usual reasons.
Some of the 1,500 ml bottles of 2007 D'Aquino Pinot Grigio delle Venezie are nothing but water.
proving that he hates us all, jesus once again refused to turn water into wine.
"Wine bottles filled with water recalled"
Ontario's Liquor Control Board is recalling an Italian wine, but not for the usual reasons.
Some of the 1,500 ml bottles of 2007 D'Aquino Pinot Grigio delle Venezie are nothing but water.
do ri me fa sol-ution
here's the solution the the killer sudoku puzzle from last week...
congrats and gold star to john for getting the solution... he definitely has smarties in his pants.
i'm looking for something more challenging/fun for my next puzzle/trivia thingy... any suggestions? what's better - word or number puzzles?
congrats and gold star to john for getting the solution... he definitely has smarties in his pants.i'm looking for something more challenging/fun for my next puzzle/trivia thingy... any suggestions? what's better - word or number puzzles?
ho ho whore?
(kinda like duck duck goose...)so you might be wondering what the hell happened to my christmas wish list seeing as i haven't posted one since thursday last week! the answer is --> i'm a lazy bastard. yup, pure sloth. but don't worry... i'll do a bonanza of wish list items this week (when i get around to it... you know, after i finish up my long list of procrastinating) and it'll be like i didn't miss any days at all!
as for what i really want for christmas...
i have no idea! so stop asking!
word of the day - dec 10 08
sequacious
adjective
1. proceeding smoothly and regularly.
2. disposed to follow, especiallu slavishly.
adjective
1. proceeding smoothly and regularly.
2. disposed to follow, especiallu slavishly.
you're a hooker!
what is with people?
i'll tell you what's with people... people are dumb.
add ice, mix, garnish with a lemon and you have yourself a retard-tini.
say you have this beautiful, expensive, glass statuette of a dove (just run with this however little sense it makes) and it's snowy out. you don't want to take it with you in the car when you go driving because if you get in an accident it might get broken. this is like people and their brains! 'oop! it's treacherous out there! better leave my brain at home so it won't get broken!'
seriously! we deserve the doom our own stupidity will inevitably bring about!
i'll tell you what's with people... people are dumb.
add ice, mix, garnish with a lemon and you have yourself a retard-tini.
say you have this beautiful, expensive, glass statuette of a dove (just run with this however little sense it makes) and it's snowy out. you don't want to take it with you in the car when you go driving because if you get in an accident it might get broken. this is like people and their brains! 'oop! it's treacherous out there! better leave my brain at home so it won't get broken!'
seriously! we deserve the doom our own stupidity will inevitably bring about!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
thoughts...
don't you just want to stab someone in the eye when the wind is blowing the opposite way your hair is parted?
word of the day - dec 9 08
dissever
verb
to separate or part; sever.
i am SO glad i didn't have to learn english as a second language; i'm sure i've mentioned this before. it's so damned complicated! rules were meant to be broken...
this word for instance... we can have:
disagree -> not agree
disrespect -> not respect
disbelieve -> not believe
so... dissever -> not sever? and yet...
why not just save yourself the extra (and oh so tiring - think energy conservation!) syllable and use 'sever' all by itself?
verb
to separate or part; sever.
i am SO glad i didn't have to learn english as a second language; i'm sure i've mentioned this before. it's so damned complicated! rules were meant to be broken...
this word for instance... we can have:
disagree -> not agree
disrespect -> not respect
disbelieve -> not believe
so... dissever -> not sever? and yet...
why not just save yourself the extra (and oh so tiring - think energy conservation!) syllable and use 'sever' all by itself?
Monday, December 8, 2008
boyfriend of the year
ladies... you think your man treats you right? think he's the best guy in the whole world? second-to-none? grade A, prime man-meat? cream of the crop? yeah... i didn't think so. but ANYWAY... as great as your guy is, he doesn't hold a candle to this guy:
"Man behind bars after hitting woman int he face with cheeseburger"
A Vero Beach, Florida man is behind bars after hitting his girlfriend several times with a cheeseburger.
The victim told sheriff's deputies that she was eating with her boyfriend Vincent Gonzales in her car when the two began arguing.
When she threw his drink out of the car window, he retaliated by hitting her in the face with a cheeseburger. (food fight!!)
He then pulled her from the car and struck her with the sandwich several more times.
Gonzales [was] charged with battery and domestic violence.
His bond has been set at $1,000.
"Man behind bars after hitting woman int he face with cheeseburger"A Vero Beach, Florida man is behind bars after hitting his girlfriend several times with a cheeseburger.
The victim told sheriff's deputies that she was eating with her boyfriend Vincent Gonzales in her car when the two began arguing.
When she threw his drink out of the car window, he retaliated by hitting her in the face with a cheeseburger. (food fight!!)
He then pulled her from the car and struck her with the sandwich several more times.
Gonzales [was] charged with battery and domestic violence.
His bond has been set at $1,000.
WTFoodle?
[musically]
teenage mutant ninja poodles...
teenage mutant ninja poodles...
teenage mutant ninja poodles...
heros in a half shell, poodle power!
also, for your viewing pleasure, a camel-doodle:
for more go here...
and YES! that IS the same lady in ALL those pictures! important question: do you think that's the smae dog or are there many?
teenage mutant ninja poodles...
teenage mutant ninja poodles...
teenage mutant ninja poodles...
heros in a half shell, poodle power!
also, for your viewing pleasure, a camel-doodle:for more go here...and YES! that IS the same lady in ALL those pictures! important question: do you think that's the smae dog or are there many?
bears just wanna have fun
he just wants to play!
you know... bat at you with his paws, gnaw on your elbow, sit on top of you... just a big, fluffy, white teddy bear!
you know... bat at you with his paws, gnaw on your elbow, sit on top of you... just a big, fluffy, white teddy bear!
word of the day - dec 8 08
curio
noun
a valued, novel object; an object valued as a curiosity, often a collectible.
noun
a valued, novel object; an object valued as a curiosity, often a collectible.
common criminal capers
ummm... watch this with me, will you?
in case you didn't catch that...
"[...] believes the thief is a cross dresser because his necklace matched the dress, his nails appeared to be painted, and the wig was not a dime-store wig."
first of all, as a reporter, how could you give yourself any credibility (let along the rest of the world) after reading a statement like that? because his necklace matched the dress... not a dime-store wig... well, OBVIOUSLY! he MUST be a cross dresser! that's all the proof i need. REAL ladies would NEVER match their jewelry to their clothes or paint their nails. and REAL ladies wear exclusively dime-store wigs.
and just in case you weren't convinced:
"Most of the time when, when somebody puts on a wig... That they just trying to hide their identity it's just, y'know, whatever they got they just throw it on their face... A Halloween mask or something just to hide their identity. He was bein' pretty!"
who could dispute a statement like that, form an obvious college diploma holder...
[source]
in case you didn't catch that...
"[...] believes the thief is a cross dresser because his necklace matched the dress, his nails appeared to be painted, and the wig was not a dime-store wig."
first of all, as a reporter, how could you give yourself any credibility (let along the rest of the world) after reading a statement like that? because his necklace matched the dress... not a dime-store wig... well, OBVIOUSLY! he MUST be a cross dresser! that's all the proof i need. REAL ladies would NEVER match their jewelry to their clothes or paint their nails. and REAL ladies wear exclusively dime-store wigs.
and just in case you weren't convinced:
"Most of the time when, when somebody puts on a wig... That they just trying to hide their identity it's just, y'know, whatever they got they just throw it on their face... A Halloween mask or something just to hide their identity. He was bein' pretty!"
who could dispute a statement like that, form an obvious college diploma holder...
[source]
Friday, December 5, 2008
a call girl birthday
since i write this blog primarily from a respectable environment, i'm not going to actually post pictures or any graphic details but i DEFINITELY want to share this with the world.
yes i'm crude and i enjoy sexual humour but i think this takes it a little far... i don't even think the promiscuous slut queen of the world would want to be known for something like this... i wonder is the classy lady in question got this for herself or if her friends got it for her?
hit the link to find out what i'm talking about...
LINK!
yes i'm crude and i enjoy sexual humour but i think this takes it a little far... i don't even think the promiscuous slut queen of the world would want to be known for something like this... i wonder is the classy lady in question got this for herself or if her friends got it for her?
hit the link to find out what i'm talking about...
LINK!
word of the day - dec 5 08
scrabble
intransitive verb
1. to scrape or scratch with the hands or feet.
2. to struggle by or as if scraping or scratching.
3. to proceed by clawing with the hands and feet; to scramble.
4. to make irregular, crooked, or unmeaning marks; to scribble; to scrawl.
5. to make with irregular lines or letters; to scribble on or over.
6. to make or obtain by scraping together hastily.
7. the act or an instance of scrabbling.
8. a scribble
intransitive verb
1. to scrape or scratch with the hands or feet.
2. to struggle by or as if scraping or scratching.
3. to proceed by clawing with the hands and feet; to scramble.
4. to make irregular, crooked, or unmeaning marks; to scribble; to scrawl.
5. to make with irregular lines or letters; to scribble on or over.
6. to make or obtain by scraping together hastily.
7. the act or an instance of scrabbling.
8. a scribble
Thursday, December 4, 2008
starting the day with a bang!
HA! lame title alert!
well at least i didn't make it up myself... i blatently stole it from the product page of today's wish list item.
sticking with our firearms theme from yesterday, i give you the Gun O'Clock Shooting Alarm Clock!
what better way to start your day than working yourself into a brain-fuzz panic while trying to turn off your alarm clock! i guarentee this product will be unplugged in the back or your closet or out the window within 2 days of getting it.
well at least i didn't make it up myself... i blatently stole it from the product page of today's wish list item.
sticking with our firearms theme from yesterday, i give you the Gun O'Clock Shooting Alarm Clock!
what better way to start your day than working yourself into a brain-fuzz panic while trying to turn off your alarm clock! i guarentee this product will be unplugged in the back or your closet or out the window within 2 days of getting it.
kids these days...
what's with the kids these days... the kids and all their chastity?
the jonas brothers (gag!) championing the purity army? ~shudder~ Makes me want to vomit a little... now instead of looking at their idols and say, “i would totally do him!” kids are saying, “i would totally wait to have tepid sex with him once we were the appropriate age and got married. we’d respect each other. it’d be cool. also, i dislike my right to vote and being paid equal wage for equal work.”
remember when we all thought brittany was ‘pure’ and that she was waiting until she got married? And then we found out justin screwed her… and THEN her mom told everyone she let her have sex for the first time at 14?
i think i might be a little horrified if my kid came home and told me they’d joined the chastity club at school… i’d be all like, “you joined the chess club??”
religious beliefs aside, we (people) were built to reproduce. it’s our main function, our purpose in life. our purpose isn’t to get married or face a hellish commute everyday and sit at a desk – those are just made up tasks to pass the time. reproduction requires a certain amount of… how shall i put this? un-chasteness?
i'm not here to advocate the sex-for-reproduction-ONLY stance… it’s FUN. even dolphins, one of the smartest animals, have sex for fun! sex shouldn’t be reserved for couple who have been deemed ‘joined’ by their religion. revoking sex for people that won’t play along with your religious doctrine is sort of discriminatory, isn’t it? like, “hey! you can’t get married because you don’t want to marry someone of the opposite sex!” and “hey! you can’t have sex because you don’t believe in the sanctity of marriage as defined by my religion!”
and hey now hasn't this spiralled into somewhat of a heavy topic?
i'm just going to sit back and await the hate mail that will VERY ineffectually try and sway my opinion or how to explain how you're right and i'm wrong. have fun wasting however much time it takes you to write something... you COULD be using that time to have pre-marital sex with strangers!
the jonas brothers (gag!) championing the purity army? ~shudder~ Makes me want to vomit a little... now instead of looking at their idols and say, “i would totally do him!” kids are saying, “i would totally wait to have tepid sex with him once we were the appropriate age and got married. we’d respect each other. it’d be cool. also, i dislike my right to vote and being paid equal wage for equal work.”
remember when we all thought brittany was ‘pure’ and that she was waiting until she got married? And then we found out justin screwed her… and THEN her mom told everyone she let her have sex for the first time at 14?
i think i might be a little horrified if my kid came home and told me they’d joined the chastity club at school… i’d be all like, “you joined the chess club??”
religious beliefs aside, we (people) were built to reproduce. it’s our main function, our purpose in life. our purpose isn’t to get married or face a hellish commute everyday and sit at a desk – those are just made up tasks to pass the time. reproduction requires a certain amount of… how shall i put this? un-chasteness?
i'm not here to advocate the sex-for-reproduction-ONLY stance… it’s FUN. even dolphins, one of the smartest animals, have sex for fun! sex shouldn’t be reserved for couple who have been deemed ‘joined’ by their religion. revoking sex for people that won’t play along with your religious doctrine is sort of discriminatory, isn’t it? like, “hey! you can’t get married because you don’t want to marry someone of the opposite sex!” and “hey! you can’t have sex because you don’t believe in the sanctity of marriage as defined by my religion!”
and hey now hasn't this spiralled into somewhat of a heavy topic?
i'm just going to sit back and await the hate mail that will VERY ineffectually try and sway my opinion or how to explain how you're right and i'm wrong. have fun wasting however much time it takes you to write something... you COULD be using that time to have pre-marital sex with strangers!
is it wrong that i want these?
"Terrorist LEGO Minifigs Stir Controversy"
side note: why are the called 'minifigs'? as in miniature figurines... yes, they are small. but they only come in one size! i don't get it...
side note: why are the called 'minifigs'? as in miniature figurines... yes, they are small. but they only come in one size! i don't get it...
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
you might be a redneck if...
are you ever mircowaving hotdogs and thinking, 'damn! my condiment dispensers are nearly interesting enough... neither are they firearms-y enough...' not to worry, some people with too much time on their hands (and possibly a condiment fetish) have solved this dilema for you!
presenting the amazing condiment gun!
please enjoy responsibly.
presenting the amazing condiment gun!
please enjoy responsibly.
smarties in your pants...
ok, so gold star to john for giving us a solution for the killer sudoku i laid on you last week... and guess what??? it was the right answer! here's the solution for anyone too lazy to go check the comments in the other post:
so since people are sooo keen to show off their brains, i thought i'd give you a deviously hard puzzle this time! the last one MUST have been too easy. ok mensa-ites, kill it!
here are the rules again in case you forgot:
so since people are sooo keen to show off their brains, i thought i'd give you a deviously hard puzzle this time! the last one MUST have been too easy. ok mensa-ites, kill it!here are the rules again in case you forgot: fill the grid so that every column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. the digits within the cells joined by dotted lines add up to the printed top left-hand figure. within each 'shape', a digit CANNOT be repeated. good luck!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
back when i was a kid...
back when i was a kid (yeah, it was AGES ago...), we had this tv show called Are You Afraid of the Dark? and it aired on YTV, usually back-to-back with Goosebumps... it was a quality hour of television, let me tell you!
anyway, on AYAOTD they always started out with those kids around the campfire - the spooky stories they told were the episodes. and to start off their stories, they announced the name of their story (example: The Tale of the Captured Souls or The Tale of the Dollmaker) while pouring a handful of magic, sparkly sand over the fire... AND the name of their story appreared in the fire!
i found the magic, sparkly sand! i can't wait for my next campfire!
it's called Mystical Fire and it's only £1.49 for a 25g baggie! (sure beats coke in the price department... or so i've heard... from strangers of ill-repute... that i associated with by accident...)
PS - one of those kids from around the camp fire now has a full time gig on the weather network!
anyway, on AYAOTD they always started out with those kids around the campfire - the spooky stories they told were the episodes. and to start off their stories, they announced the name of their story (example: The Tale of the Captured Souls or The Tale of the Dollmaker) while pouring a handful of magic, sparkly sand over the fire... AND the name of their story appreared in the fire!
i found the magic, sparkly sand! i can't wait for my next campfire!
it's called Mystical Fire and it's only £1.49 for a 25g baggie! (sure beats coke in the price department... or so i've heard... from strangers of ill-repute... that i associated with by accident...)PS - one of those kids from around the camp fire now has a full time gig on the weather network!
word of the day - dec 2 08
bulwark
noun, verb
1. to defend or protect, serve as a bulwark; shelter.
2. a person, thing, or concept that is a defense or protection.
3. an embankment of earth or other material used as a defense against a threat; rampart.
4. the sides of a ship extending like a fence above the deck level.
noun, verb
1. to defend or protect, serve as a bulwark; shelter.
2. a person, thing, or concept that is a defense or protection.
3. an embankment of earth or other material used as a defense against a threat; rampart.
4. the sides of a ship extending like a fence above the deck level.
it's... ALIVE!
we have this little magnet on the fridge that my mom found while out doing what mom's do and it reads:
and that sentiment was so completely apt and at the same time maddeningly unhelpful last night when we cleaned out the WHOLE fridge in a attempt to find that funky smell that was making people vomit from 2 cities yonder.
WARNING: if you've just eaten your lunch or you fancy eating at all today, i suggest you avert your eyes and NOT look into the face of the apocalypse that inhabited our green bin until the unfortunate garbage man took it away this morning. although, it's probably too late for the warning because you've probably already looked at the pictures after completely skipping over those cumbersome words and just looking at the pretty (sometimes) pictures.
if it
walks out
of the
refrigerator,
let it go.
and that sentiment was so completely apt and at the same time maddeningly unhelpful last night when we cleaned out the WHOLE fridge in a attempt to find that funky smell that was making people vomit from 2 cities yonder.
WARNING: if you've just eaten your lunch or you fancy eating at all today, i suggest you avert your eyes and NOT look into the face of the apocalypse that inhabited our green bin until the unfortunate garbage man took it away this morning. although, it's probably too late for the warning because you've probably already looked at the pictures after completely skipping over those cumbersome words and just looking at the pretty (sometimes) pictures.
i am... sasha fug
i'm borrowing a title from the lovely fuggers but it is SO warranted! and totally appropriate.
who says to their stylist, "i want to look like a biker chick-mermaid-lounge singer-prostitute for my up coming event... make it happen! oh yeah, and make it see through; i'm feeling naughty"??? obviously, it's beyonce.
who says to their stylist, "i want to look like a biker chick-mermaid-lounge singer-prostitute for my up coming event... make it happen! oh yeah, and make it see through; i'm feeling naughty"??? obviously, it's beyonce.
Monday, December 1, 2008
happy dance?
over the weekend, my office lottery pool hit the jackpot and won a mind-blowing $93.00 AND 2 free tickets... ok, so we win free tickets all the time but that's in addition to a sum of $93.00 that would make donald trump's hairpiece spin! that translates to approximate $4.50 for each person! it's actually really exciting... it's the most we've won off a single ticket since i became the lottery coordinator... congrats to us!
for when candle-lit dinners just don't cut it
want the ambiance but can't be bothered with all the romance?
FTW - fiber optic placemats!
they're each 63"x13" so they'r technically runners and not placemats... and tehy'll run you $200 each so they're for serious diners only. but if you think about it, that's only like 25 cents per square inch! what a steal!
the only thing that would make these better (worse?) is if they also plugged into your computer with a USB and did something useless-er.
PS - one word about my internet jargon up there and you're dead. stone cold d-e-a-d. hear me?
FTW - fiber optic placemats!
they're each 63"x13" so they'r technically runners and not placemats... and tehy'll run you $200 each so they're for serious diners only. but if you think about it, that's only like 25 cents per square inch! what a steal!the only thing that would make these better (worse?) is if they also plugged into your computer with a USB and did something useless-er.
PS - one word about my internet jargon up there and you're dead. stone cold d-e-a-d. hear me?
word of the day - dec 1 08
balustrade
noun
a railing at the side of a staircase or balcony to prevent people from falling.
i had hoped such an interesting looking word would have a more interesting definition. i was wrong. but i DO have one of these in my house!
noun
a railing at the side of a staircase or balcony to prevent people from falling.
i had hoped such an interesting looking word would have a more interesting definition. i was wrong. but i DO have one of these in my house!
the japanese: not so kinky, more like pete wentz
so it turns out the japanese might not be as kinky as i thought... especially since they are sort of like a certain fallout boy bassist when it comes to anatomy. well, polar bear anatomy at least.zookeepers at the kushiro municipal zoo in hokkaido were wondering why 4-year-old tsuyoshi and 11-year-old kurumi weren't gettin' jiggy with it... turns out, both bears are females - tsuyoshi was mispronounced as a boy when she/he was just 3 months old! soemthing about long hairs covering 'the area' making it hard to tell... whatever.
at least they don't have the same problems as these egg-stealing gay penguins!
next step to taking over the world
squids evolving elbows!
to crawl out of the sea and attack you while you sleep!
"Mysterious 'Elbowed' Squid Caught on Video"
the origin of this is from national geographic so i'd guess it was pretty legit. the squids that is, not necessarily the taking over the world part... but i'd not discount the theory if i were you. if you're not prepared, i'm not saving you from squid-pocalypse.
to crawl out of the sea and attack you while you sleep!
"Mysterious 'Elbowed' Squid Caught on Video"
the origin of this is from national geographic so i'd guess it was pretty legit. the squids that is, not necessarily the taking over the world part... but i'd not discount the theory if i were you. if you're not prepared, i'm not saving you from squid-pocalypse.
Friday, November 28, 2008
feel good about yourself
all the single ladies, at least you're not this guy:
although, these girls come close...
but this guy has every beyonce impersonator beat! doin' it in the snow!
although, these girls come close...
but this guy has every beyonce impersonator beat! doin' it in the snow!
speaking of ass rings...
looks like someone spent their afternoon coffee break in the bathroom with joe...
a cuppa joe that is!
a cuppa joe that is! haha... lame.
ass ring alert!
you know what i'm talking about...
if not, you'll probably figure it out eventually - even a monkey can do it! are you stupider than a monkey? that's what i thought.
for that person in your life who you hardly ever see because they're ALWAYS in the bathroom, here's something you can give them that will ensure that you NEVER have to see them again... sudoku toilet paper! (pen/pencil not included...)
PS - don't forget to leave some to wipe with!
if not, you'll probably figure it out eventually - even a monkey can do it! are you stupider than a monkey? that's what i thought.
for that person in your life who you hardly ever see because they're ALWAYS in the bathroom, here's something you can give them that will ensure that you NEVER have to see them again... sudoku toilet paper! (pen/pencil not included...)
PS - don't forget to leave some to wipe with!
picture of the week - nov 28 08
shoppers camp out in front of best buy in cerritos, california in order to be first into the store when it opened at 5AM for black friday...
crazy bitches!
crazy bitches!
bitches, please!
(and that's a demeaning, disappointed 'bitches, please!'
not a happy, perky 'bitches, please!' not like i'm politely asking for bitches...)
so some of you expressed that the last brain teaser i posted was too easy and urged me to put up something harder... well herrrre you go, your majesty! something harder. wrap your brain around this!
here are the rules:
fill the grid so that every column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. the digits within the cells joined by dotted lines add up to the printed top left-hand figure. within each 'shape', a digit CANNOT be repeated. good luck!
PS - congrats to laura who solved the last puzzle and to john who agreed with the answer... gold star for laura, green star for john.
not a happy, perky 'bitches, please!' not like i'm politely asking for bitches...)
so some of you expressed that the last brain teaser i posted was too easy and urged me to put up something harder... well herrrre you go, your majesty! something harder. wrap your brain around this!
here are the rules:
fill the grid so that every column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. the digits within the cells joined by dotted lines add up to the printed top left-hand figure. within each 'shape', a digit CANNOT be repeated. good luck!
PS - congrats to laura who solved the last puzzle and to john who agreed with the answer... gold star for laura, green star for john.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
this really 'turns me on'
hahaha... lame.
but seriously, is this not one of the coolest lamps/lightbulbs you've ever seen? cooler than this?
but seriously, is this not one of the coolest lamps/lightbulbs you've ever seen? cooler than this? it's the Lamp/Lamp from HH Style. click the link to find out it's secret. i definitely need one.
remember that thing i said about me being crude?
the japanese are kinky
riddle me this... why do the japanese need SO MANY endoscopes???
oh, inspection and maintenance or machines, engines, etc. you say?
well my friend, come join me in the gutter because that is SO not where my mind went... and there's the spark of understanding... oh yup, and there's the grimace of disgust. i'm crude. i'm sorry. deal with it.
ch-ch-check it out:
Flexible Endoscope Borescope 79" (2000mm) Cable
Obedient Endoscope Borescope 79" (2000mm) Cable
Handy Scope 353L Endoscope 22.5" (570mm) Cable
Flexible Video Endoscope Borescope - Ultra Thin 1.7mm Cable
Intraoral Camera Video Endoscope
and then there's the Ear Scope TV Fiber Optic Earwax Cleaner...
"[...] is also useful for looking inside ANY dark and tight space..."
and they were the ones that capitalized the word 'ANY'... not me.
veering away from endoscopes, we have this:
the Healing Hands Chiropractic Massager... and ol' gutter mind over here thought you sat on it... kinky, right? but you actually rest your head on it. whatev.
and then THEN we have the most blatantly kinky thing...
Adult Slime!
"And by 'adult' we just mean that the product is intended for grown-ups..."
riiight... i know what they really mean. ADULT slime... might me more gross than kinky... but whatever floats your boat, right? yeah... gross. how's about you and your slime go have a good time and don't tell me about it, k?
oh yeah... the best part about the slime is that it is scented! in 4 varieties! hot, relax, love, and elegance. yeah, adult slime - so very elegant. you know what else is elegant? it comes in a little plastic garbage pail! epitome of elegance.
this Japan Trend Shop is enough to keep me in wish list ideas until next september! holy crap do the japanese invent a lot of useless stuff! expect my next zillion posts to come directly from this site!
oh, inspection and maintenance or machines, engines, etc. you say?
well my friend, come join me in the gutter because that is SO not where my mind went... and there's the spark of understanding... oh yup, and there's the grimace of disgust. i'm crude. i'm sorry. deal with it.
ch-ch-check it out:
Flexible Endoscope Borescope 79" (2000mm) Cable
Obedient Endoscope Borescope 79" (2000mm) Cable
Handy Scope 353L Endoscope 22.5" (570mm) Cable
Flexible Video Endoscope Borescope - Ultra Thin 1.7mm Cable
Intraoral Camera Video Endoscope
and then there's the Ear Scope TV Fiber Optic Earwax Cleaner...
"[...] is also useful for looking inside ANY dark and tight space..."
and they were the ones that capitalized the word 'ANY'... not me.
veering away from endoscopes, we have this:
the Healing Hands Chiropractic Massager... and ol' gutter mind over here thought you sat on it... kinky, right? but you actually rest your head on it. whatev.and then THEN we have the most blatantly kinky thing...
Adult Slime!
"And by 'adult' we just mean that the product is intended for grown-ups..."
riiight... i know what they really mean. ADULT slime... might me more gross than kinky... but whatever floats your boat, right? yeah... gross. how's about you and your slime go have a good time and don't tell me about it, k?
oh yeah... the best part about the slime is that it is scented! in 4 varieties! hot, relax, love, and elegance. yeah, adult slime - so very elegant. you know what else is elegant? it comes in a little plastic garbage pail! epitome of elegance.
this Japan Trend Shop is enough to keep me in wish list ideas until next september! holy crap do the japanese invent a lot of useless stuff! expect my next zillion posts to come directly from this site!
word of the day - nov 27 08
profess
verb (used with object)
1. to lay claim to, often insincerely; pretend to: He professed extreme regret.
2. to declare openly; announce or affirm; avow or acknowledge: to profess one's satisfaction.
3. to affirm faith in or allegiance to (a religion, God, etc.).
4. to declare oneself skilled or expert in; claim to have knowledge of; make (a thing) one's profession or business.
5. to teach as a professor: She professes comparative literature.
6. to recieve or admit into religious order.
verb (used without object)
7. to make a profession, avowal, or declaration.
8. to take the vows of a religious order.
verb (used with object)
1. to lay claim to, often insincerely; pretend to: He professed extreme regret.
2. to declare openly; announce or affirm; avow or acknowledge: to profess one's satisfaction.
3. to affirm faith in or allegiance to (a religion, God, etc.).
4. to declare oneself skilled or expert in; claim to have knowledge of; make (a thing) one's profession or business.
5. to teach as a professor: She professes comparative literature.
6. to recieve or admit into religious order.
verb (used without object)
7. to make a profession, avowal, or declaration.
8. to take the vows of a religious order.
more bacon!
bacon, you complete me. you had me at hello.
and if your thirst for bacon wasn't satisfied by this, this or THIS then boy-oh-boy, do i have something for you... ok, so maybe it's not as exciting as i'm making it out to be... but maybe that's because you're not actually the bacon lover you professed to be. shame, shame on you for lying. lies make baby jesus cry. well actually, crying babies are fine... just so long as i don't have to soothe them. so go ahead, lie about your bacon lust! see if i care!
ANYway... for the bacon-oholic on your christmas list...
the bacon ipod holder!
and if your thirst for bacon wasn't satisfied by this, this or THIS then boy-oh-boy, do i have something for you... ok, so maybe it's not as exciting as i'm making it out to be... but maybe that's because you're not actually the bacon lover you professed to be. shame, shame on you for lying. lies make baby jesus cry. well actually, crying babies are fine... just so long as i don't have to soothe them. so go ahead, lie about your bacon lust! see if i care!
ANYway... for the bacon-oholic on your christmas list...
the bacon ipod holder!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
rubber ducky, you're the one!
you make bathtime so much fun!rubber ducky, i'm awfully fond of you!
vo-vo-dee-o!
rubber ducky, joy of joys,
when i squeeze you, you make noise!
rubber ducky, you're my very best friend it's true!
oh, every day when i make my way to the tubby
i find a little fellow who's cute and yellow and chubby!
rub-a-dub-dubby!
ah... memories!
"Rubber Duckies to Help Track Speed of Melting Glaciers"
a rubber ducky for christmas is nice... a rubber ducky that's been on the ultimate greenland water slide is even better! get me one?
those crazy brits...
i only hit up the Daily Mail's Mail Online once in awhile but i think that's because my brain is a sieve, a sieve with holes so big all the pasta slips out. but every time i make my way over there, i can't help wonder why i'm not there ALL THE TIME! how come their news is always so much more absurd?!? absurd and crazy... and scary!
for example... the following headlines seem about normal.
"Father 'killed in samurai sword attack after neighbours clashed over child's football'"
Neighbour Gary Kelly, who had been drinking, came out of his house in Mitcham, south London, and threatened Mr Martin with a beer bottle, it was alleged.
Kelly, who was nothing to do with the boys, had called out: 'What you doing touching kids for?'
Mr Martin had called back: 'What you doing, you wife beater?'
Mr Martin returned home nearby in an angry mood, said Mr Brown.
He took a piece of wood used as a parrot perch and headed back to Kelly's home. Kelly emerged with the sword and part of a snooker cue which he used to attack Mr Martin in the front garden, said Mr Brown.
what? WHAT?!? craziness...
i enjoy the very trailer trash slinging of insults... shame someone died or else it would be entirely comical! not comical like an SNL skit, more comical like a MadTV skit.
here's another:
"Boy, 13, beat man to death and threw hom on a bonfire after catalogue of care failings"
but no matter at what crazy news items the daily mail throws my way, they'll never be my number 1 source for posts... because i will never, NEVER, never ever for give them for this.
for example... the following headlines seem about normal.
"Father 'killed in samurai sword attack after neighbours clashed over child's football'"
Neighbour Gary Kelly, who had been drinking, came out of his house in Mitcham, south London, and threatened Mr Martin with a beer bottle, it was alleged.
Kelly, who was nothing to do with the boys, had called out: 'What you doing touching kids for?'
Mr Martin had called back: 'What you doing, you wife beater?'
Mr Martin returned home nearby in an angry mood, said Mr Brown.
He took a piece of wood used as a parrot perch and headed back to Kelly's home. Kelly emerged with the sword and part of a snooker cue which he used to attack Mr Martin in the front garden, said Mr Brown.
what? WHAT?!? craziness...
i enjoy the very trailer trash slinging of insults... shame someone died or else it would be entirely comical! not comical like an SNL skit, more comical like a MadTV skit.
here's another:
"Boy, 13, beat man to death and threw hom on a bonfire after catalogue of care failings"
but no matter at what crazy news items the daily mail throws my way, they'll never be my number 1 source for posts... because i will never, NEVER, never ever for give them for this.
i smell... burning?
put out the fire!
you should know better! when you work those brain cells too hard, they short circuit and where there's smoke...
have the fire exgstinguisher on hand when you attempt to solve this math-y puzzle... put the floating digits in the empty boxes to make the equation work.
you should know better! when you work those brain cells too hard, they short circuit and where there's smoke...
have the fire exgstinguisher on hand when you attempt to solve this math-y puzzle... put the floating digits in the empty boxes to make the equation work.
word of the day - nov 26 08
emollient
adjective
1. softening or soothing.
2. something that softens or soothes.
adjective
1. softening or soothing.
2. something that softens or soothes.
craziest f*cking bird costume of the day
umm... i'm going to let the title speak for itself on this one.
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