Showing posts with label work-itude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work-itude. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 28, 2010
employee of the month
Woman set office fire to go home early
NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla., June 24 (UPI) -- A Florida woman accused of starting an office fire to get sent home early with pay pleaded guilty to criminal mischief.
The Pasco County Sheriff's Office said Michelle Perrino, 40, drew suspicion during a meeting of Bayonet Point Oxygen employees when she mentioned the May 12, 2009, fire had started in a filing cabinet before workers had been informed of the fire's origins, the St. Petersburg Times reported Thursday.
Investigators said a friend of Perrino told them she had admitted to tripping the main circuit breaker and adjusting phones to block incoming calls in bids to go home early without sacrificing the day's pay.
Perrino was sentenced to 9 months imprisonment followed by 5 years of probation. She was also ordered to pay Bayonet Point Oxygen $4,800 in restitution and banned from contacting the company or its employees.
NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla., June 24 (UPI) -- A Florida woman accused of starting an office fire to get sent home early with pay pleaded guilty to criminal mischief.
The Pasco County Sheriff's Office said Michelle Perrino, 40, drew suspicion during a meeting of Bayonet Point Oxygen employees when she mentioned the May 12, 2009, fire had started in a filing cabinet before workers had been informed of the fire's origins, the St. Petersburg Times reported Thursday.
Investigators said a friend of Perrino told them she had admitted to tripping the main circuit breaker and adjusting phones to block incoming calls in bids to go home early without sacrificing the day's pay.
Perrino was sentenced to 9 months imprisonment followed by 5 years of probation. She was also ordered to pay Bayonet Point Oxygen $4,800 in restitution and banned from contacting the company or its employees.
Monday, May 3, 2010
a severe case of the mondays
blaaaaaaaaah...
yeah, it's one of THOSE days.
i'd just like to find a rock to hide under until this day is over.
5 days of hard time for 2 days of parole seems so unjust about now.
yeah, it's one of THOSE days.
i'd just like to find a rock to hide under until this day is over.
5 days of hard time for 2 days of parole seems so unjust about now.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
pornographic fundraising
sometime between last year and this year, the internet filters at my work have determined that raising money for cancer research is considered pornography.
granted, the site i am interested in is in support of cancers below the waist.
and the annual event IS called the underwear affair...
still, i doubt that any of the breast cancer sites are similarly blocked.
in any case, the underwear affair is a wonderful fundraiser that i had the pleasure of participating in last year and i'm already all signed up to do it again this year! i will have more details later but for now i suggest you go see what it's all about... that is, if you can!
The Underwear Affair
granted, the site i am interested in is in support of cancers below the waist.
and the annual event IS called the underwear affair...
still, i doubt that any of the breast cancer sites are similarly blocked.
in any case, the underwear affair is a wonderful fundraiser that i had the pleasure of participating in last year and i'm already all signed up to do it again this year! i will have more details later but for now i suggest you go see what it's all about... that is, if you can!
The Underwear Affair
Thursday, April 15, 2010
crushing dreams at an early age...
remember how waaay back in the day you had aspirations to be a fireman, or a police officer, or a astronaut, or a marine biologist...?
and now after finding out the particular skill set that was bestowed upon you with didn't exactly mesh with your childhood fantasies you're parked permanently behind a desk. does wallowing in your shattered dreams depress you to no end?
well, if your parents hadn't routinely told you that you could be anything you wanted, maybe you'd be more content with your current lot in life. so why not start your kid off with middling aspirations and get them this:
Baby's First Cubicle: The Most Depressing Toy Ever?
and if you think even that might be too lofty of a goal, you can always go for this instead.
and now after finding out the particular skill set that was bestowed upon you with didn't exactly mesh with your childhood fantasies you're parked permanently behind a desk. does wallowing in your shattered dreams depress you to no end?
well, if your parents hadn't routinely told you that you could be anything you wanted, maybe you'd be more content with your current lot in life. so why not start your kid off with middling aspirations and get them this:
Baby's First Cubicle: The Most Depressing Toy Ever?and if you think even that might be too lofty of a goal, you can always go for this instead.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
just in time for the afternoon - zzzz...
instead of reprimanding you for catching a couple of Zs at your desk after lunch, you employers should be praising you dedication to productivity.
how can naps possibly be productive you ask?
well, the more hours you spend awake, the more sluggish your mind becomes. after a refreshing afternoon nap, your mind is more alert and better able to accept information. instead of slogging along with a tired brain for 4 hours, why not catch an hour long nap and be twice as productive for 3 hours?!? sounds good for the bottom line to me.
"Naps Clear the Mind, Help You Learn"
and then i was reading a related article where they're telling you to ask your HR person about setting up a nap room... yeah, because that will go over fabulously! just like my suggestion about the walkstation... i'm pretty sure it's all just going in a little file that they'll use as evidence one day when they go to lock me away in a room with rubber walls.
how can naps possibly be productive you ask?
well, the more hours you spend awake, the more sluggish your mind becomes. after a refreshing afternoon nap, your mind is more alert and better able to accept information. instead of slogging along with a tired brain for 4 hours, why not catch an hour long nap and be twice as productive for 3 hours?!? sounds good for the bottom line to me.
"Naps Clear the Mind, Help You Learn"
and then i was reading a related article where they're telling you to ask your HR person about setting up a nap room... yeah, because that will go over fabulously! just like my suggestion about the walkstation... i'm pretty sure it's all just going in a little file that they'll use as evidence one day when they go to lock me away in a room with rubber walls.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
dreading the week ahead
so miserable mississauga summoned me here for monday and guess what?
now i've been condemned to be here possibly all week!
but i'm going to put my foot down and all-out refuse to be here on friday. traffic is fucktareded enough on normal days, let alone crazy fridays! i mean mondays are a little insane but people are just absolutely batty by friday... and are all clamouring to get home/out of town ASAP. anyway, hopefully my resolve holds up and i get my way... work is very unlike home where i ALWAYS get my way.
now i've been condemned to be here possibly all week!but i'm going to put my foot down and all-out refuse to be here on friday. traffic is fucktareded enough on normal days, let alone crazy fridays! i mean mondays are a little insane but people are just absolutely batty by friday... and are all clamouring to get home/out of town ASAP. anyway, hopefully my resolve holds up and i get my way... work is very unlike home where i ALWAYS get my way.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
dreading the day ahead
so if the shitstorm of weather that was unleashed on us today continues tomorrow i will NOT be a happy camper. it's the first monday back to work after a nice 2 week paid vacation and i have been summoned to miserable mississauga. so instead of the 10 minute drive i would normally have to settle me back into work-mode, i get an hour of idiot-filled shenanigans in bad weather. the weather is going to force me to leave even earlier... sleep has become VERY important to me over the holidays - 11 hours each night feels about normal. hopefully i can just tuck my ass into bed early and fall asleep right away so i can get all my beauty sleep before 6:00AM rolls around. i'm tired just thinking about it all!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
a serious case of the mondays thursdays
why the hell isn't it friday yet?
(not that this day would benefit at all from being a friday. it would just give me a misplaced dislike of fridays.)
by all accounts, friday should feel sooner this week because i was off on monday! it never works that way though... short weeks are the ones that NEVER seem to end.
have you ever noticed that driver stupidity increases exponentially with disappearance of good weather? this morning i spent nearly 2 hours making a drive that normally take 50 minutes in traffic. just because it was raining! ridiculous. when the snow finally comes, i think i'd rather slam my head into a brick wall repeatedly rather than drive anywhere.
so i'm in the mississauga office of my company today and it's miserable. first, it's hell far away and through the worst of the 401 traffic. second, i may have discovered the world's least comfortable chair and am currently testing its effects on a worker's mental stability. third, all my cubicle knick-knacks that make me happy when skies are gray are not here... my visitor cube here is emptier and more drab than a prison cell. AND, office characteristics aside, my empty fuel light lit up as i was pulling into the parking lot this morning. fan-fucking-tastic. now i'm going to go waste part of my lunch hour to go to the gas station so i don't have to do it when i'm going wee-wee-wee all the way home at the end of the day.
PS – i’m pretty sure there’s a lady here wearing a taffeta skirt suit… like the stuff you make cheap prom dresses out of! i can hear her every time she walks by! and it’s this nasty olive green colour too. AND (yes, there’s more!) it’s about 4 inches ABOVE her knees. it’s like a taffeta hooker business suit. i’m trying to figure out how to get a picture without going right up to her and blinding her with the flash before running away.
(not that this day would benefit at all from being a friday. it would just give me a misplaced dislike of fridays.)
by all accounts, friday should feel sooner this week because i was off on monday! it never works that way though... short weeks are the ones that NEVER seem to end.
have you ever noticed that driver stupidity increases exponentially with disappearance of good weather? this morning i spent nearly 2 hours making a drive that normally take 50 minutes in traffic. just because it was raining! ridiculous. when the snow finally comes, i think i'd rather slam my head into a brick wall repeatedly rather than drive anywhere.
so i'm in the mississauga office of my company today and it's miserable. first, it's hell far away and through the worst of the 401 traffic. second, i may have discovered the world's least comfortable chair and am currently testing its effects on a worker's mental stability. third, all my cubicle knick-knacks that make me happy when skies are gray are not here... my visitor cube here is emptier and more drab than a prison cell. AND, office characteristics aside, my empty fuel light lit up as i was pulling into the parking lot this morning. fan-fucking-tastic. now i'm going to go waste part of my lunch hour to go to the gas station so i don't have to do it when i'm going wee-wee-wee all the way home at the end of the day.
PS – i’m pretty sure there’s a lady here wearing a taffeta skirt suit… like the stuff you make cheap prom dresses out of! i can hear her every time she walks by! and it’s this nasty olive green colour too. AND (yes, there’s more!) it’s about 4 inches ABOVE her knees. it’s like a taffeta hooker business suit. i’m trying to figure out how to get a picture without going right up to her and blinding her with the flash before running away.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
down with the sickness
ok, so even though i literally fell out of bed this morning because i was feeling woozy and drove to work with the frost-covered window down because i was burning up, i STILL made it to the office today because i KNEW i had deadlines pending... and so just now i sent some completed work to one of my bosses only to find out that he wasn't feeling well and stayed home. perfect. eye-twitchingly perfect.
this ALWAYS happens to me... invariably, when i am legitimately sick, i have stuff that NEEDS to be done at work. so i come in feeling like crap and get it done. but then when all the rush-rush is said and done, i'm not sick anymore. i'm not begrudging my good health or taking my immune system for granted but it would be nice to be able to take a day off when i actually need it.
this ALWAYS happens to me... invariably, when i am legitimately sick, i have stuff that NEEDS to be done at work. so i come in feeling like crap and get it done. but then when all the rush-rush is said and done, i'm not sick anymore. i'm not begrudging my good health or taking my immune system for granted but it would be nice to be able to take a day off when i actually need it.
Monday, November 2, 2009
word of the day - nov 2 09
flak
noun
1. antiaircraft fire, esp. as experienced by the crews of combat airplanes at which the fire is directed.
2. criticism; hostile reaction; abuse: such an unpopular decision is bound to draw a lot of flak from the press.
and here's me catching some for procrastinating too much last week... and here's me knuckling down for the rest of the day, trying to make up for all that lack of productivity. see you on tuesday!
noun
1. antiaircraft fire, esp. as experienced by the crews of combat airplanes at which the fire is directed.
2. criticism; hostile reaction; abuse: such an unpopular decision is bound to draw a lot of flak from the press.
and here's me catching some for procrastinating too much last week... and here's me knuckling down for the rest of the day, trying to make up for all that lack of productivity. see you on tuesday!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
thoughts...
goodness gracious it's almost 11 and i've been busy all morning but i've accomplished nothing... how frustrating!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
change of scenery
watch out monday commuters! i'm on the move!
starting today, i'm get a weekly all expenses paid (not confirmed) visit to one of my company's other offices in southern ontario. woo hoo? so i guess it wasn't enough that they extended my commute from 'down the street' to 'all the hell across the top of the city' but now once a week i get 'through all the fuckity-fuck traffic we could find'... and let me tell you, i could not be more impressed. except maybe when the snow hits and most drivers shit out their brains as soon as that first snowflake touches the ground.
starting today, i'm get a weekly all expenses paid (not confirmed) visit to one of my company's other offices in southern ontario. woo hoo? so i guess it wasn't enough that they extended my commute from 'down the street' to 'all the hell across the top of the city' but now once a week i get 'through all the fuckity-fuck traffic we could find'... and let me tell you, i could not be more impressed. except maybe when the snow hits and most drivers shit out their brains as soon as that first snowflake touches the ground.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
back in action
back to the grind after soaking up all the quaint on the east coast for the past couple of days...
you know what's the best about long weekend? the short work weeks preceeding or following them... the next weekend is a mere 2 days away!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
grump grump grump
geezes... who pissed in everyone's OJ this morning?
there are spats springing up between everyone at the office this morning! no profaine insults are flying yet, just misunderstandings, raised voices, frustration, impatience, and placing of blame... but if things continue apace i expect to see a computer monitor/desk through a window by the end of the day!
there are spats springing up between everyone at the office this morning! no profaine insults are flying yet, just misunderstandings, raised voices, frustration, impatience, and placing of blame... but if things continue apace i expect to see a computer monitor/desk through a window by the end of the day!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
blah blah blah...
not to be repetitive or anything but i HATE it when work gets in the way of one's other daytime activities. don't they know that some people have budgeted their working hours for things other than working until they die?!?
and your bosses, do they have an uncanny ability to be oblivious to you when you're doing nothing but as soon as someone else wants you o do something, they also have stuff for you to do? it seems like as soon as i get an assignment from one person, everyone else in the office also magically has something for me to do... and it's all RIGHT NOW! coordination people, coordination. and jazz hands!
and your bosses, do they have an uncanny ability to be oblivious to you when you're doing nothing but as soon as someone else wants you o do something, they also have stuff for you to do? it seems like as soon as i get an assignment from one person, everyone else in the office also magically has something for me to do... and it's all RIGHT NOW! coordination people, coordination. and jazz hands!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
sleep longer, live longer
see mom!?!
sleeping in until 2PM on a saturday isn't bad for me after all! turns out, it was actually helping me reduce the risk of "aging from diabetes" - whatever that awkward phrase means...
and guess what office overlords who like to interrupt my afternoon naps and call me unproductive?!? having an afternoon slump is NOT unnatural! in fact, my sleepy afternoons my quite well be "an evolutionary leftover from a time when afternoon naps were somehow conducive to survival."
CONDUCIVE TO SURVIVAL.
sleeping in until 2PM on a saturday isn't bad for me after all! turns out, it was actually helping me reduce the risk of "aging from diabetes" - whatever that awkward phrase means...
and guess what office overlords who like to interrupt my afternoon naps and call me unproductive?!? having an afternoon slump is NOT unnatural! in fact, my sleepy afternoons my quite well be "an evolutionary leftover from a time when afternoon naps were somehow conducive to survival."
CONDUCIVE TO SURVIVAL.
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