because i really just wanted to write "anal sphincter" a bunch of times

also, it's monday and i wanted to gross you out...
be glad i didn't subject you to the associated picture!

here instead is a picture of a chocolate starfish:

and then:

anal sphincter

anal sphincter
anal sphincter
anal sphincter
anal sphincter

anal sphincter

anal sphincter

Biologists grow replacement sphincters in mice

"Fecal incontinence because of degenerated or weakened internal anal sphincter (IAS) has a high incidence rate in aging populations. [...] Bioengineering could play a role in developing a translational approach to remedy fecal incontinence because of weakened IAS."

oh splendid, people are dying of horrible incurable diseases all over the world and these guys are spending their time and money making sure people don't shit themselves. A+

shake, rattle and demolish

Tae Bo workout sent skyscraper shaking

Seventeen people performing a vigorous Tae Bo workout caused tremors that forced the evacuation of a South Korean skyscraper earlier this month, the building's owners say.

"It just happened to be that the vibration cycle caused by Tae Bo collided with the vertical vibration cycle unique to the building." [...] The action amplified the building's vibration and caused the shaking.

follow the leader, leader, leader, leader...

not entirely sure why but i find this utterly fascinating... 

Why would fish follow a robot?

NYU (US) -- Forget artificial intelligence. How about artificial leadership? A mechanical engineer at New York University is combining smart materials and mathmatics to build robots tat lead schooling fish.

Someday, Maurizio Porfiri, assistant professor of mechanical engineering at NYU’s Polytechnic Institute, hopes the robots could lead fish away from the turbines of power plants.

what's important

on this list of the world's greatest inventions, #1 should have been "taking things for granted" or "ignorance"
i don't know what sample of vapid idiots they polled for this list but they should probably all be sterilized.

here are a few of the inventions and their rankings:

1. wheel
8. iphone
11. contraceptive pill
16. steam engine
22. toilet paper
24. google
29. hot water (does that even count??)
34. hair straighteners
39. space travel
42. bed
66. make-up
69. the game of football
82. facebook

i suggest checking out the whole list to see what outranked what...

learning has never been so fun wrong

Fake Science

playing god

here's an A-HA! for evolutionists and creationists alike!

"Professor: We have a 'moral obligation' to seed universe with life"
According to Michael Mautner, Research Professor of Chemistry at Virginia Commonwealth University, seeding the universe with life is not just an option, it’s our moral obligation. As members of this planet’s menagerie, and a consequence of nearly 4 billion years of evolution, humans have a purpose to propagate life. After all, whatever else life is, it necessarily possesses an incessant drive for self-perpetuation. And the idea isn’t just fantasy: Mautner says that “directed panspermia” missions can be accomplished with present technology.

so could our life here on earth be the 'moral obligation' of an ancient deceased planet hundreds or thousands of light-years away? could it be that we're not the warm little center of the universe we pompously thought we were?

personally i think, despite everything humans have accomplished, we (the human race) effed up royally here and if it all ends here then the universe it better for it. propagate the life of animals, plants, bacteria, whatever... just don't send human DNA out there to do damage to countless other planets!

we're all going to die!

and here's one of the very probable reasons why:

Self Replicating Printers
I'm sure many of you have heard of the RepRap, the open sourced rapid prototyping 3D printer. It's all kinds of awesome, as you can use it to create three dimensional objects from simple patterns. The coolest feature? You can use one RepRap to create most of a second unit! Whoa, hang on a second there. Machines that can self replicate? Yeah, there's no way in hell that could go wrong, right? Jesus, when Skynet grabs this tech, the robots will be popping out babies faster than the Duggars.

"15 Ways Science Will Kill Us All"
[via neatorama]

doin' it like bunnies

just in case it ever becomes an issue, i just wanted you to know that science can now grow you a new penis in the hilarious (hilariously painful albeit) event that you lose yours or you decide that you want to try one out! you know, just FYI.

"Lab-grown penis helps rabbits mate ... like rabbits"

i can feel time & space unravelling beneath my feet!

i always knew the human race would eventaully break the galaxy...

"We have broken speed of light"

A pair of German physicists claim to have broken the speed of light - an achievement that would undermine our entire understanding of space and time.

According to Einstein's special theory of relativity, it would require an infinite amount of energy to propel an object at more than 186,000 miles per second.

However, Dr Gunter Nimtz and Dr Alfons Stahlhofen, of the University of Koblenz, say they may have breached a key tenet of that theory.

The pair say they have conducted an experiment in which microwave photons - energetic packets of light - travelled "instantaneously" between a pair of prisms that had been moved up to 3ft apart.

Being able to travel faster than the speed of light would lead to a wide variety of bizarre consequences.

For instance, an astronaut moving faster than it would theoretically arrive at a destination before leaving.

The scientists were investigating a phenomenon called quantum tunnelling, which allows sub-atomic particles to break apparently unbreakable laws.

Dr Nimtz told New Scientist magazine: "For the time being, this is the only violation of special relativity that I know of."

intergalactic planetary!

"Gigantic ring around Saturn discovered"

PASADENA, Calif. - The Spitzer Space Telescope has discovered the biggest but never-before-seen ring around the planet Saturn, NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced late Tuesday.

The thin array of ice and dust particles lies at the far reaches of the Saturnian system and its orbit is tilted 27 degrees from the planet's main ring plane, the laboratory said.

JPL spokeswoman Whitney Clavin said the ring is very diffuse and doesn't reflect much visible light but the infrared Spitzer telescope was able to detect it.

Although the ring dust is very cold - minus 316 degrees Fahrenheit - it shines with thermal radiation.

No one had looked at its location with an infrared instrument until now, Clavin said.

[continue reading...]

now THIS is rocket surgery!

proof of water on mars.as opposed to this - not exactly rocket surgery.

sicence lesson of the day

THE PERIODIC TABLE OF AWESOMENTS!!!and that kids, is all you need to know. about life.
put this and this alone on your resume and BLAMO! job.
forget university. THIS is the answer to all life's questions.

for a version you won't bust a cataract trying to read, go here. no really, do it! you won't be disappointed.

[Dapperstache via Geekologie]

black hole pipe dreams

"Stephen Hawking 'mulling' Waterloo move"
Could the world's most famous physicist be headed for Waterloo?
A report out of Britain suggests Stephen Hawking is considering an invitation to come work at the Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics.

is it wrong that all i can think about it that the word 'perimeter' has the word 'rim' in it and my awful, nasty mind is chuckling in the gutter?

sir isaac newton is chuckling in his grave

for my boyfriend, the literalist.

Cartoon Laws of Physics

[via Dooce]

important science...

Governmentium

A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neurons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to ac Critical Morass.

having a heart-to-heart...

"Scientists revive dead heart"

'Bioartificial' organ grown from new injected cells hailed by researchers as future hope for humans

this is pretty interesting and definitely worth a read...

blah, blah, blah... ethical controversy... whatever.

intergalactic friday night fight

"'Bully' galaxy blasts neighbour with radiation"

The lastest act of senseless violence caught on tape is cosmic in scope: a black hole in "death star galaxy" blasting a neighbouring galaxy with a deadly jet of radiation and energy.

betta get that ensured, geiko for yo money...

"stem cell" and "ethical" in same sentence, not coming from a crazy hippy?

"The 'ethical' stem cell is born"
Two sets of scientists have been able to make ordinary human skin cells take on the power of embryonic stem cells and sidestep the moral quagmire dogging such research until now

ok, so i didn't actually have time to read the aritcle yet (it's actually busy at work! what the f is up with that?!?) but it's a topic of interest for me and i just wanted to put this out there and get other people's thought on it.

picture of the week - nov. 12

the caption for this picture says it's a cosmic ray nursery... this is a galaxy called centaurus and is a whopping 325 million light years from earth.
i didn't have the mental energy to actually read a science article this morning but you can give your brain a workout here.

picture of the week - nov.1

this is "a portion of the hippocampus from a 'Brainbow' transgenic mouse"
i'm not entirely sure what that means but look at all the pretty colours! check out this link and it'll explain it all to you...