word of the day - apr 30 10

pelf
noun
money; riches; gain; -- generally conveying the idea of something ill-gotten.

what WOULD you do for a klondike bar?

from a REAL durham regional police neighbourhood watch release: 

Two suspects were quickly apprehended by responding officers after stealing ice cream products and threatening employees with weapons.

On Wednesday April 28, 2010 at approximately 11:05 p.m. uniformed patrol officers responded to the vicinity of a Sobey's grocery store at 1899 Brock Road in Pickering following a robbery incident. Employees observed two male suspects enter the store and begin stealing ice-cram products from the frozen section, placing numerous items into their backpack before fleeing the premises. The employees followed the suspects to the store exit and indicated they were calling police. One suspect produced a knife and threatened one of the employees and indicated he had a handgun before fleeing. None of the store employees were physically injured.

The suspects fled on foot into a residential neighbourhood where responding officers located the youths and arrested both, without incident. A quantity of ice cream treats were recovered from a backpack. Officers also recovered a knife and a pellet gun.

The first 17-year-old male from Pickering is charged with: Robbery and Breach Probation. The second 17-year-old male from Pickering is charged with: Robbery; Carry Concealed Weapon x2; Assault with a Weapon; Possession of Weapon for Dangerous Purpose; Fail to Comply and additional weapons-related offences. Their identities are protected under the Youth Criminal Justice Act.

congradulatonnes on winning the speilling bea!

to celabrate, we got you a cake:

word of the day - apr 28 10

disport
intransitive verb
1. to amuse oneself in a light or lively manner; to frolic.

transitive verb
2. to divert or amuse.
3. to display.

the greatest detectives in the world

move over batman, you ain't got nothing on these winona, minnesota coppers...

Police: Vomiting dog causes man to crash into pole

The man told police he was driving when his dog started "throwing up all over him." Deputy Police Chief Tom Williams said the story checked out—police found vomit in the car.

blood, frogs, lice, flies, livestock death, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, boobs

"Women who do not dress modestly...lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases (consequently) earthquakes."

~ senior Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi

Women strut their stuff for Boobquake
Women flaunt their breasts in protest

and guess what? 
nothing happened!

According to the United States Geological Survey website there were 45 earthquakes worldwide as of Monday evening, including a 6.5-magnitude earthquake southeast of Taiwan and a 5.4 near the South Sandwich Islands region. In fact, over the last six days the number of earthquakes has ranged from 41 to 48.

word of the day - apr 27 10

wastrel
noun
1. a person who wastes, especially one who squanders money; a spendthrift.
2. an idler; a loafer; a good-for-nothing.

present ideas

with my birthday speedily approaching, i figured i better toss all you present seekers a bone and give you a hint as to what i'd like...

i would like one of these:

this is einstein, a teeny tiny foal born in barnstead, new hampshire at a miniature horse farm.
even for a miniature horsie, he's a bitty one... just 14 inches tall and weighing in at only 6 pounds!
he could TOTALLY live in my backyard!

but i swear, if this story ends up like rupert the muntjac fawn, i might completely die inside and wander the earth like an emotional zombie, infecting others with my sense of dismay.

A for effort...

generally, when you have to declare something like that on your garment, you're trying way too hard to achieve it.

word of the day - apr 26 10

fluster
verb (used with object)
1. to put into a state of agitated confusion: his constant criticism flustered me.
2. to excite and confuse with drink.

verb (used without object)
3. to become agitatedly confused.

noun
4. nervous excitement or confusion.

so much fail...

kickintheheadcomic says:
Whenever a TV product commercial plays I bust a gut during the parts where they show us what we're doing wrong and why we need the product.

This is my tribute to the hilarious work the actors in these infomercials do.

word of the day - apr 23 10

oneiric
adjective
of, pertaining to, or suggestive of dreams; dreamy.

so, one more time... how is this better?

Backtacular
Hindsight is more than 20/20, so be Backtacular

description: Backtacular is a hypoallergenic, decorative, adhesive patch that is applied directly to the skin above the upper cleft of the buttocks.

and this is better than the actual butt crack (or whale tail if your low-rise skank has opted for underwear that day) how?

geekologie knows what i'm talkin' about...

model citizen

who hasn't done this before?
anyone who says they haven't is a dirty, rotten liar.

Man charged after mailing in stained parking ticket 

A man who received a parking ticket in Bartlett now faces criminal charges after authorities said he stained the citation with human excrement before mailing it back to the village.

Officials said Alexander J. Bailey, 22, of the 6N600 block of Medinah Road in Medinah, was arrested last week charged with disorderly conduct after a village hall employee found brown stains and a foul odor on the ticket and alerted police, authorities said. The original ticket was for $15, Bartlett police said.

Bailey also scrawled a note on the ticket indicating he'd used it to wipe himself, court documents said.

Bailey posted $500 bail and is due back in Cook County Circuit Court on June 11.

pornographic fundraising

sometime between last year and this year, the internet filters at my work have determined that raising money for cancer research is considered pornography.

granted, the site i am interested in is in support of cancers below the waist.
and the annual event IS called the underwear affair...
still, i doubt that any of the breast cancer sites are similarly blocked.

in any case, the underwear affair is a wonderful fundraiser that i had the pleasure of participating in last year and i'm already all signed up to do it again this year! i will have more details later but for now i suggest you go see what it's all about... that is, if you can! 

The Underwear Affair

word of the day - apr 22 10

environment
noun
1. the aggregate of surrounding things, conditions, or influences; surrounding; milieu.
2. ecology. the air, water, minerals, organisms, and all other external factors surrounding and affecting a given organism at any time.
3. the social and cultural forces that shape the life of a person or a population.
4. computers. the hardware or software configuration, or the mode of operation, of a computer system: in a time-sharing environment, transactions are processed as they occur.
5. an indoor or outdoor setting that is characterized by the presence of environmental art that is itself designed to be site-specific.

lurking in a parking lot near you...

the only thing that would have made this better is if there had been a car seat in the back...

the stuff nightmares are made of

ok, so i WAS going to try and pick another picture off this site but i just couldn't do it... i barely got past the second second picture and the third picture had me in a panicked rush to turn off the whole internet entirely. so i'm just going to use the picture from the forwarding site... it is frightening enough.

if that picture along with the popular myth that you swallow about a dozen spiders in your sleep over your lifetime didn't have you running for the hill (arguable a bad choice since spiders like nature) then maybe you'll be interested in this site:

ROFLSpiders

Here's a little description from the site:

At the risk of sound preachy or ruining the joke by deconstructing it,  this website is powered by the kind of irony that is only possible on the internet, being our humble counter-response to those other terrible and uncreative image macro sites out there.
Or, maybe you just like spiders.  That’s cool too. 

DISCLAIMER: unless you want to feel creeped out for the rest of the day (or for the rest of your life), DO NOT visit this site. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

yummy lolz

Tacos
Difficult enough to eat when motionless, food that disassembles itself into a tossed salad should never be consumed while in any form of motion.

from: 10 most dangerous foods to eat behind the wheel

i don't fully agree with this list and i would argue that the foods mentioned are more just plain messy than dangerous...

additional lolz for the actual existance for this product:

change is slow...

"I think the internal combustion engine will disappear from the streets of our cities in the next thirty years because transportation will be mass transportation, or probably electrical power."

~ Gaylord Nelson, date unknown

happy earth day

"We're going to have to do a whole lot more, and give nature at least a chance to repair some of the damage we've done."

~ Gaylord Nelson, founder of Earth Day

word of the day - apr 21 10

scapegrace
noun
a reckless, unprincipled person; one who is wild and reckless; a rascal; a scoundrel.

cruel and unusual punishment

quick, name 3 legal offenses that you think might get you sentenced to a year in jail...

...

...

...

got 'em?
what do you mean 'no'?
ok, i'll wait...

...

...

...

alright, did any of your ideas include 'flag desecration'?
i'm going to go ahead and say no.
but it can TOTALLY get your ass thrown in jail. well, at least in the US where i think some people have more love and respect for the flag better than their own mothers!

Olympic flag flap may land Canadians in U.S. court

LA QUINTA, CALIF.— Police in California say two Canadians who took down an American flag and replaced it with a Canadian following Sidney Crosby’s golden goal at the Olympics could face charges of vandalism and flag desecration.

Police in La Quinta, Calif., have identified the two suspects as Ryan Smith, 25, of Bermuda Dunes, Calif., and 26-year-old Matt Siefert of Palm Desert, Calif., both Canadian citizens.

The La Quinta Police Department has submitted a complaint to the district attorney’s office requesting state misdemeanour charges of vandalism and flag desecration for both Smith and Siefert, police said in a news release Monday.

Local media have reported that the incident happened during the evening of Feb. 28, 2010, following Canada’s victory in the men’s hockey final against the United States.

The U.S. flag, which had been displayed on a mountain top and maintained by a private citizen “in honour of the September 11, 2001 victims”, was replaced by a Canadian flag, police said. The American flag was found damaged.

If convicted, the men could face up to a year in jail.

idiot of the week

not to be confused with the darwin award candidate from yesterday, this guy doesn't necessarily deserve to be removed from the gene pool; this guy is just a idiot. but to his credit, he IS a pretty clever guy for being such a dumbass...

Burglary suspect got stuck in air duct

A would-be burglar was caught early Wednesday after he got stuck in the ventilation system of a Maryland convenience store, police said. 

Shane Morgan Hall, 21, of the first block of Mahogany Drive in North East, Md., told Cecil County sheriff's deputies he was playing hide and seek. 

Hall was arrested at 7:14 a.m. when deputies and firefighters answered a call about a man stuck in the ventilation system at the BP Station in the 2300 block of W. Pulaski Highway. 

Lt. Bernard Chiominto said when the owner arrived to open the store, he spotted a pair of feet dangling from the the duct. 

Deputies said Hall had removed the ventilation cover, crawled through the vent, got stuck and set off a fire extinguisher that sprayed powder all over the store, Chiominto said. 

Deputies freed Hall and took him to Union Hospital, where he was treated for minor injuries.

Hall, who allegedly gave police two false names, was charged with two counts of submitting false information to a police officer, and one count each of second- and fourth-degree burglary and malicious destruction of property. 

He also was wanted for failing to appear for a drug count. 

Hall told deputies he was playing hide and seek on the roof with some other adults and decided to hide in the ventilation system. 

When no one guessed where he was, the other players gave up looking, Hall told police.

Hall was being held in the Cecil County jail on $30,000 bail.

gotta get me one of these

this pillow will supposedly let you sleep on your arm without cutting off circulation to your hand... well i'm pretty sure it's the position of your arm and not the excess pillow between your head and you arm that's responsible for the loss of circulation, i would totally buy this! my arm ALWAYS falls asleep! but then again, at $99, i think i could just live with my arm being all tingly in the morning - it makes using the flat iron just that much more exciting!

a darwin award candidate

Man injured after using propane tank for target practice 

LONDON, Ont. -- Police say a Shakespeare man was injured after a propane tank being used for target practice exploded.

Perth OPP were called to investigate the explosion after the man was taken to Stratford General Hospital Monday evening.

Police said two men in their mid-20s were at a residence northeast of Shakespeare when the tank exploded.

“They decided to take target practice and use a rifle to shoot at a propane cylinder,” said Const. Kees Wijnands.

“They took turns firing at the cylinder from a distance they thought was safe. After a number of shots, one of the rounds struck the tank, causing the cylinder to explode. Parts of the cylinder flew back, striking one of the males and injuring him.”

The man was treated and released at hospital.

The investigation is continuing.

word of the day - apr 20 10

stoned
adjective slang
1. drunk
2. intoxicated or dazed from drugs; high (sometimes fol. by out): to be stoned out on pot.

yeah, i hear kids these days get stoned out on pot all the time!
seriously, whose prudish grandfather wrote this definition?

happy 4/20 everyone!

oh is THAT what that is...

i'm not even going to tell you what it's supposed to be...
you can be curious and follow the link for yourself.

the eyjafjallajokul volcano

check out the entire spectacular gallery HERE.

soylent green is people!

Penguin cookbook calls for 'freshly ground black people'
Publisher destroys 7,000 copies of The Pasta Bible after 'silly mistake' causes outrage

A recipe for tagliatelle with sardines and prosciutto has proved a little too spicy for Penguin Australia, after a misprint suggesting that the dish required "salt and freshly ground black people" has left the publisher reaching for the pulping machine, rather than the pepper grinder.

It's a one-word slip that only came to light after a member of the public got in touch, and which has sent all 7,000 copies of The Pasta Bible at Penguin's warehouse to be destroyed, an exercise which head of publishing, Robert Sessions, told the Sydney Morning Herald would cost $ 20,000.

There are, as yet, no plans to recall copies that have made it into stores, which according to Sessions would be "extremely hard". He was "mortified that this has become an issue of any kind", adding that "why anyone would be offended, we don't know".

Sessions defended proofreaders for letting through a misprint that he suggested came from a spell-check program, explaining that since almost every recipe in the book calls for black pepper at a on each page it was an error he considered "quite forgivable". He went on to attack those who might complain about what he called a "silly mistake" as "small minded".

Meanwhile, the clean-up operation continues, with the publisher releasing a rather more emollient statement on its website offering sincere apologies "for any offence this error may have caused readers", and suggesting that proofreaders "would have been concentrating on checking quantities, a common source of error in cookbooks". Penguin also offered to "willingly replace a copy of The Pasta Bible owned by anyone who feels uncomfortable about having a copy of the book in their possession".

Speaking to the Guardian this afternoon, Sessions was unwilling to add to his earlier remarks, explaining that he had "nothing further to say", and referring to the Penguin website.

word of the day - apr 19 10

hugger-mugger
noun
1. a disorderly jumble; muddle; confusion.
2. secrecy; concealment.

celebrity recognition fail

it's a matter or personal definition...

Eating Contests to Avoid

keep it classy, washington!

Animal rights activists protest donkey basketball 

SNOHOMISH, Wash. -- Donkey basketball -- is it clean fun, or simply cruel?

On Wednesday night, animal rights activists targeted Snohomish High School, where the popular annual family event took center court.

Simple advice and a pep talk paved the way for the tipoff, and a stampede of action on the court. Eight donkeys jumped into action with players on their backs.

The event was a fundraiser for a senior class graduation party with teachers and staff in black jerseys taking on the students in white.

But not everyone thinks it's fun and games. Animal rights activists quietly protested outside, saying it's simply cruel.

"The donkeys are pushed, kicked, shoved, and prodded to do something that is unnatural for them and confusing," said protester David Schirk.

Some say the event is bad enough, but having it at a school makes it worse.

"I think it sends a really bad message to children on how to raise them and cruelty to animals and to all beings, and what does that teach our children?" said protester Carol Guilbault.

But Bruce Wick, who owns the donkeys, says the animals are well-cared for, and really enjoy playing the game.

They're trained to follow the ball, and go up and down the court.

"When I back into the corral, they're all fighting to see who gets to go," said Wick of Donkey Sports.

To help ease the impact on the hardwood, the donkeys' hooves have rubber padding.

"They're pretty intelligent animals," Wick said. "And if they're sitting around in a small pen or stall all day, they're fighting boredom all that time."

Out on the court, they cut loose.

"It was pretty uncontrollable, but it was a lot of fun. They've got a mind of their own, definitely," said one rider.

"Everybody likes to see somebody look silly, and a lot of times, the donkeys will make the riders look silly," said Wick.

Wick says, overall, donkey basketball is fun and safe. But animal rights groups say event also comes with huge liabilities, because people can get hurt easily.

word of the day - apr 16 10

bloviate
intransitive verb
to speak or write at length in a pompous or boastful manner.

because that's the definition of romantic...

really, it's just what every girl dreams of...
a romantic honeymoon where you, your new husband, and some bitch have a threesome.

"... the inn has added a suite where newlyweds can now spend their honeymoon with their beloved dog curled up on the bed."

Why this bride's dog is in her wedding party

crushing dreams at an early age...

remember how waaay back in the day you had aspirations to be a fireman, or a police officer, or a astronaut, or a marine biologist...?

and now after finding out the particular skill set that was bestowed upon you with didn't exactly mesh with your childhood fantasies you're parked permanently behind a desk. does wallowing in your shattered dreams depress you to no end?

well, if your parents hadn't routinely told you that you could be anything you wanted, maybe you'd be more content with your current lot in life. so why not start your kid off with middling aspirations and get them this:Baby's First Cubicle: The Most Depressing Toy Ever?

and if you think even that might be too lofty of a goal, you can always go for this instead.

he makes a valid point...

instead of blaming the chaos that is his life on his daddy never loving him or his uncle touching him inappropriately at a young age, charlie sheen one-ups all the other nut jobs out there with this quote:

"As kids, we're not taught how to deal with success; we're taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?"

the internet is killing written communication

i can only imagine the quality of school work being turned in by teenagers these days...

4 my report i red the book 2 kill a mockingbird.
its a story about atticus finch & his 2 kids. atticus is a suit who is defending tom robinson in court on a charge of rapin mayella ewell. turns out that she was made it all up but he goes 2 the big house n-e-way & gets killed escaping & that makes all the ppl feel bad about being not nice 2 him xcept 4 mayella's dad bob ewell cause he was all embarrassed when ppl found out he was lying about the cause 4 the trial in the first place & now he wants revenge on atticus 4 making him look a fool. he attacks atticuses kids jem & scout but this strange guy boo radley saves them @ the last minute.
i can relate 2 tom 4 being guilty til proven innocent cause my parents always think im doing bad things & they never leave me alone. i never did n-e-thing as bad as what they said tom did but its like hopeless when they r in charge & u are outnumbered.
my fav part in the book was where bob ewell is angry @ atticus & spitz in his face. it prolly wasnt suposta be funny but i LOLed. OMG, that was mad disresekt.

hmm... very nice. i'm sure it'll get a A+
but look at me being all hypocritical! this is a blog for heaven's sake! gammar, punctuation, and spelling errors run rampent throughout my posts!

it's the internet and people can pretty much do whatever they want so you're just going to have to get used to it...

but just in case you get heart palpitations every time you find some unsavoury misuse of the english language, a super savvy blogger out there has come up with a few ways to help keep yu from losing your cool.

It has become almost fun for me to come across people who take the phrase "a lot" and condense it down into one word, because when someone says "alot," this is what I imagine:The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people's grammar. It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I'd normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.

there are a lot more alot examples so you should definitely go check out the post:
The Alot is Better Than You at Everything

win or fail: you decide!

knowledge of volcanoes fail or sarcasm win?
the choice is up to you...Reduce Volcanoes!
They are causing global warming! We need to say no to volcanoes! Otherwise wildlife in the Arctic will be at risk!!

Icelandic volcanic ash cripples European airports

who doesn't like playing with dolls guns?

" ... shooting things is no different from playing with dolls. Dolls become guns and unicorns become hand grenades, you know? It’s just life to her."

~ chloe grace moretz on her character hit girl from the movie kick-ass which is coming out this weekend

word of the day - apr 13 10

dishabille
noun
1. the state of being carelessly or partially dressed.
2. casual or lounging attire.
3. an intentionally careless or casual manner.

proportions

ok, so i KNOW jessica simpson is a tiny little person (only 5'3") and i would trade my body for hers (perhaps minus the brain however) if given the chance but she sure knows how to dress herself so she looks like she might be a suitable wrestling partner for the late andre the giant...

tragic hilarity

recently, in a bid to solicit more funding, the illinois poison control center blogged 'A Day In the Life of a Poison Center' documenting 282 cases handled in the course of a 24-hour period.

they claim that "there is no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed to call, because we really have heard it all!" but there are just some calls that you can't help but snicker at no matter how serious the person on the other end of the phone might have been.

my favourite stories can be grouped into 4 categories:

IDIOTS

Caller has one squirt bottle with bleach/water to disinfect her kitchen, and another with just water that she uses to spray the dog. She was going to spray the dog, but had mixed up the two bottles. She wanted to make sure she didn’t spray her dog with bleach, so she had squirted some in her mouth to check. It was the bleach.

A 5 year old accidentally super glued his finger in his nose.

An adult male has a car for sale; he decided to siphon out some gas to save money and swallowed a mouthful.

Babysitter misread the label of child’s nighttime prescription for clonidine and instead of giving him ½ tablet, gave him 12 tablets.

A father called about tater tots he had cooked in the oven; after his kids ate them, the caller realized there was a charred rat corpse in the oven.

An adult was camping and used newspaper in lieu of toilet paper; called to see if newsprint is toxic rectally.
[can you imagine trying to say the phrase 'rectally toxic' in a serious situation?]

Caller took a beer out of the minbar in a hotel and quickly realized after one swig that it was urine. Someone had drunk the beer, then filled it with urine and put it back to avoid being charged.
[i know what i'm doing next time i'm in a hotel with a mini bar...]

TOO MUCH INFORMATION

A 24 year old woman called about her boyfriend. The woman had a Brazilian wax at a salon where they had used a numbing cream on the area and now her boyfriend is complaining numb lips, mouth and tongue. He was concerned that he may have ingested some of this numbing cream.

A woman called because she had reached into her bathroom cabinet in the dark for a tube of personal lubricant and accidentally used toothpaste instead.

An adult woman called because a battery leaked out of her personal massager and she was concerned about battery acid burns.

UNEDUCATED ON THE DEFINITION OF THE WORD POISON

A 3 year old ingested a piece of Play Doh®.
[pretty sure play doh says non-toxic right on the label...]

A 4 year old might have chewed and swallowed several Styrofoam packing peanuts.

A 1 year old child scraped some soap off a bar of soap with her teeth.

JUST WANTED SOMEONE TO TALK TO

Caller received a get-well plant and wondered if it is toxic, or if it is okay to keep on the kitchen table because she has twin toddlers.

A 36 year old woman called to ask if over the counter cough syrup could be causing her blurry vision.

A caller, who does not have good relations with a neighbor, believes the neighbor is trying to poison her dog. She wanted to know where she can get dog food tested for poisons.

Caller's electricity was out for between 3-6 hours while she was at work. Wondered if she should throw out all the food in her fridge/freezer away.

word of the day - apr 9 10

indefatigable
adjective
incapable of being fatigued; not readily exhausted; untiring; unwearying; not yielding to fatigue.

we're the knights of the round table
we dance when e'er we're able
we do routines and chorus scenes
with footwork im-pecc-able
we dine well here in camelot

we eat ham and jam and spam a lotwe're the knights of the round table our

shows are for-mid-able
but many time we're given rhymes
that are quite un-sing-able
we're opera mid in camelot
we sing from the di-a-phragm a lot

oh we're tough and able
quite in-de-fat-i-gable
between our quests we sequin vest
and im-per-son-ate clark gable
it's a busy life in camelot
i have to push the pram a lot

word of the day - apr 8 10

grok (surprisingly pronounced grawk)
verb
to understand, especially in a profound and intimate way. slang.

jumping on the bandwagon

given how insanely popular vampire media has once again become in the last little while, i suppose it was only a matter of time before something like this happened...

University Offering Master's Degree in Vampiric Literature

in what might be the worst joke in the history of wordplay, one might say this is a subject that a student could really sink their teeth into...

i cannot WAIT until someone someone publishes their thesis on how twilight can be so unbelievably lame and popular at the same time...

blasphemy!

well i guess it's true.
kids these days really ARE getting stupider.
and guess what? retailers are helping!

first they go and ruin the educational value of a game like monopoly and now this:

New Scrabble to add proper names

not only are these brain-melters adding proper nouns but they also want to throw in unconnected words and words spelled backwards!

unconnected words?!? what's even the point???
people will just be laying down word on all the triple word scores right off the bat! and those squares are a privilege, not a right! you have to work for them!

luckily for us, all this madness is only happening on the other side of the pond... mattel u.k. are the crazies that are releasing this 'special' edition come the summer.

word of the day - apr 7 10

megrim
noun
1. a migraine.
2. a fancy; a whim.
3. in the plural: lowness of spirits -- often with 'the'.

now wasn't i JUST bemoaning the sheer volume words there are in the english dictionary...? and now this:

word of the day - apr 6 10

land of Nod
noun
a mythical land of sleep.

ok, so maybe i'm just a little picky but if you subscribe to a "word of the day" e-mail service, you expect to get a definition of a word daily... not a definition of a fictional place whose name is three words long. dictionary.com, you're seriously stretching today. i mean, how many words are there in the english dictionary???

don't blow a circuit

i don't want to alarm anyone but i've just been informed that this spiral is not actually a spiral...

she's been thunderstuck

now, as a person who might be accused of herself having thunder thighs, it's hard to point the finger at another gal but mischa barton makes it just too easy sometimes...UPDATE: mishca loves her banana pants...

laugh so you don't cry

"He told people he was preparing for a fossil fuel apocalypse, when bikes would reign supreme."
~ of Igor Kenk, convicted bicycle theif

the laughter dies off rather quickly when you realize that this crazy man (thinks of his bikes like his puppies and was ordered by the courts to have a psychological assessment) it probably right...

why are we just learning about this now?!?

better off bread

the toasted whole wheat bun my chicken salad sandwich came on today is fresher and softer than some bread i've had still warm out of the oven...

sadly, the last time i asked for something double toasted at my local tim hortons, i ended up with a charred sandwich-sized crouton.

false advertizing?

ingredients: water, glucose-fructose and/or sugar, concentrated pear juice, citric acid, natural flavours.

sounds like pear juice to me...

and yet, curiously enough, it comes with this label:
cherry? pineapple? grapes?
i don't remember any of those from the ingredient list... i suppose those are the 'natural' flavours of which they speak.

fruit punch?
well, yes, pear IS a fruit..
and technically there is no law stating fruit punch must be a combination of several different types of fruit juice...
but you know, sometime you just expect certain things.
i guess that'll teach me a thing or too about expecting!