friday fun

come on... i KNOW you want more!

go to: stuffonmycat.com

hot or not?

i'm trying to decide if i find eva mendes attractive... not just here in this picture but in general...
sure, she's definitely got a smokin' body (no denying that) but there's just something about her face that puts me off... kinda man-ish, ya know? and i know she's cuban and everything but her skin looks sort dirty rather than deliciously sun-kissed...
what do you think?

the rich and the richer...

forbes magazine has come out with their list of top wealthy television celebrities...
1. oprah winfrey - $260 million
2. jerry seinfeld - $60 million
3. simon cowell - $45 million
4. david letterman - $40 million
5. donald trump - $32 million
6. jay leno - $32 million
7. dr. phil mcgraw - $30 million
8. "judge" judy sheindlin - $30 million
9. george lopez - $26 million
10. kiefer sutherland - $22 million

you make how much?? million?! a year?!?! for doing what?!?!?!?!?
this is just insane... what could you possibly do that's worth that much money???
there are people in this world who do much more important things and get paid less than these people pay in income tax! that is, if they even pay income tax! i don't get celebrities who are so filthy rich but then can't manage to pay their taxes - it baffles the mind!

tiny mcturtlesons

siamese turtles! aren't they so cute!

this/these little guy(s) are currently on display at a pet store in norristown, pennsylvania...

anyone feel like a field trip???

newlyweds

"Oakville woman weds reality show stanger"
Ignorning her parents' entreaties, Oakville woman opts for marriage in bazarre radio contest

interesting... very interesting...
good thing they're both mildly attractive otherwise this might not have worked out so well...
the most bizarre thing is that this isn't the first time the radio station has done this! they've done it twice before with as many successes! the other 2 couple remain married and even have children!

full of themselves

on the heels of the international team's embarrassment at the hands of the americans on the first day of the presidents cup i found my self wondering: why whenever someone hosts an "international" event is it almost always usa vs. the world??? makes my distaste for americans grow exponentially when they flash their pompousness around like a fat money wad or a gold watch...

something to think about

"'Green' fuel worsens global warming"
Nobel chemist finds corn farming methods can hurt the Earth more than burning gasoline

so it's not so cut-and-dried when it comes to making eco-friendly decisions...

gross...

"Bankers wipe out dirty money"
Cental bank shredded $6.4 in mutilated, contaminated cash in 2006

eww... i'm never handling money with my bare hands again! i knew it was dirty but i never really thought about it that hard... urine, feces, and vomit!?! at least canadian money doesn't smell like american money - that makes me gag just thinking about it!
excuse me, i need to go wash my hands...

the stupid awards - you decide!

check out the three candidates for "idiotic burnout of the month"
1. steve-o
2. michael vick
3. the stoned cop

then head on down to the bottom of the page and cast your vote!
hurry! you only have until october 4th to vote!
**this poll is now closed**

the stupid awards continued...

yet another candidate for "idiotic burnout of the month"!!
steve-o from jackass is claiming lindsay lohan stole his blow!
who's more of a burn out: lindsay or steve-o?
i'm gonna go with steve-o on this once seeing as even though she fucked up large, lindsay is still a hot ticket item!

the stupid awards

instead of these two superstars, my new candidate for "idiotic burnout of the month is disgraced nfl-er michael vick...
this moron is already waist-deep in legal shit for funding a dogfighting ring on his surry county property and as part of his release is subject to random drug testing... so what does he go and do? like any sensible person trying to avoid jailtime, he lights one up! how stupid can you possibly be???

doing your part

so chatelaine has a list of "baby steps you can take on the path to green living" that bears some looking into... although i don't see replacing your furnace or your washer/dryer as a baby steps, all the tips are steps in the right direction that can be easily implemented. by no means will you be branded an eco-saviour for making these changes but every little bit helps!

entertaining reading...

"Top 10 dumb sports rules - These regulations were made to be broken"

i'm not that much of an all-around sports fan and i don't really have my 2 cents to add but i still found this interesting reading...

be kind to your mothers

"Mom's 12th baby is a whopper at 17.1 pounds"

geezes! 17.1 pounds!?! gawd... what can i do to make sure one like that never comes outta me???
and apparently this unlucky lady's other 11 kids were all 11-plus pounds at birth! she brews 'em big! good thing they were all delivered by c-section!

according to the WHO, the average weight for healthy newborns is around 7.06 pounds... this kid is like 2.5 normal kids! and she's not even the record! guiness world records has the largest surviving baby at 22.5 pounds - a boy born in italy in 1955...

i was only like 5 pounds wheni was born! that 22.5 pound kid is like 4 of me... only in one big package! i know how much pain i put my mother through (birthing and otherwise...) so i can imagine how nice this 17 pound kid's gonna have to be to her mom!

great balls of fire

Boy set on fire

Glencoe, Ont. - A 14-year -old boy is recovering from burns after being set on fire outside a high school in this town near London.
Police say the boy was sprayed with an aerolsol deodorant and set on fire by another student at Glencoe District High School yesterday.
The unidentified teenager was able to extinguish the fire but suffered first-, second- and third-degree burns to his torso. He has since been relaesed from hospital.
Police say it's too early to say whether or not the incident was intentional.
Glencoe is about 25 kilometres southwest of London.

police are unsure if it was intentional??? how can you be unsure? how does something like that happen unintentionally? who would do this to themselves intentionally? and if someone did it as a prank or out of malice, surely police would be arresting someone... You can't just go around setting people on fire and get away with it!
i bet they never made a TAG/AXE body spray commercial that featured a guy on fire! girls find that hot, really hot...

what a bunch of boobs!

"Transit funds in gridlock"

everyone knew harper was a boob but he got elected anyway...
withholding funds, sympathizing with bush, withdrawing from kyoto...
i hope people get their heads screwed on right in the next election and pick someone new! but i guess it doesn't help that all the current party leaders give me a bad feeling deep in the pit of my stomach... vote green! either that or just spoil your ballot...

~shudder~

"Polygamist guilty of aiding rape"

this absolutely gives me the heeby-jeebies right down to my bones!
shame on him for preying on people who need something bigger than themselves to cling to! shame on them for being so naive/trusting of religion as to not see that this was wrong! this man seems like he had no interest in these people's faith or well-being...
icky, icky, icky!

wowza! that's a lot of money!

so apparently, mircosoft is in talks to buy facebook for a whopping $10 billion!!!
geezes! is facebook really worth that much? i'm beginning to dislike some of the changes that facebook has already implemented since i joined so i can easily imagine how more microsoft could manage to louse it up... where's google in all this? don't they want a piece of the action???

this kid is how old?

so i was reading some (false) rumours about Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus being pregnant and i had no idea who she was so i imdb-ed (yes, i just made that into a verb!) her to find out more about her. turns outs, all there is to know about her is that she stars in Hannah Montana and she got her dad a cushy job playing her TV dad...

anyhoo... pictures of her that aren't obviously airbrushed beyond all belief are rough... joan-rivers-without-plastic-surgery-but-still-looking-like-you've-had-work-done rough... it must be solu crushing to be so young and not look it... it says she was born in 1992 but what do you think?

"i think we're dead, i really do."

for future reference:

if you're going to do drungs, don't phone the cops and tell them about it, k?

"Former Michigan cop, wife charged for eating marijuana brownies"

high-larious! these two get the title of "idiotic burnouts of the month"...

nerds...

"Crossword gives Massachusetts woman a clue; boyfriend was proposing marriage"

do not, i repeat DO NOT do this. ever. your girlfriend will probably not be similarly elated.

traffic troubles

"City hall eyes traffic circles"

ah... toronto government thinking at its finest...
i'm pretty sure this'll cause more problems than it solves.
it's not just like you can go bazau! traffic circle! and all your traffic woes will disappear...
i just don't think people in toronto are smart enough to handle this sort of thing.
a decrease in t-bone collisions will probably lead to a healthy increase in side-swipes and rear-endings. and can you think of the construction costs??? and traffic nightmares during said construction?!? and businesses on those corners will NOT be pleased. i think they'd rather have a jane-and-7-esque sinkhole open up in the intersection than be stuck with a roundabout - at least a sinkhole will eventually get fixed!

rest for the weary

so i'm going on a little vaca and won't be back with my nose to the grindstone until tuesday or wednesday... y'all don't have too much fun without me!
i might put up something random over the weekend if i get a chance...

*cheers*

ugly AND dangerous

"Escalators a peril for wearers of Crocs"

haHA! i want nothing more than for this particular fashion craze (along with those inane wheelie shoes) to die out and this story is edging that dream towards reality!

i understand that they are comfortable but that's no excuse. they are garden shoes! hence you are supposed to wear them in your garden! and they certainly aren't worth the suggested retail price of $29.99 (US) - they're made of synthetic resin, not gold! before this rubbery craze exploded, you could get a nearly identical garden shoe from the dollar store! all these idiots did was make them in different colours and put a cartoon crocadile on them and you're practically throwing your money at them! le sigh...

found neverland...

"World's oldest man turns 112 in Japan and says he'd like to live forever"

remember how i was saying the japanese knew a thing or two about longevity?
now i'm pretty much convinced that they have a secret (possibly magical?) potion that's keeping them alive. the japanese version of the philosopher's stone?

so very desperate

oh bless you teri hatcher, singing your little drunken heart out. just because you didn't win an emmy is no reason to torture those who did at the after party. you're a mess - seek help.

look at how disinterested james denton is trying to be! we know, it is hard to tear your eyes away from a train wreck no matter how awful it is. keep up the good work! don't look directly into her eyes; you may or may not be turned to stone! i bet he's just figuring out the best possible escape route off the stage after the song finishes so ms. hatcher doesn't throw herself at him saying "oh james, we make some pretty good music together, don't we?"

WTF?

let's all agree to agree that debra messing looks amazing because she totally does.

but let's raise a question about that pumpkin-shaped/coloured person (?) in the background... who let that in? this is the emmys! where the beautiful people of tv land frolic and giggle with other beautiful people! isn't there like a scanner as you enter the place that only admits the best looking people?? just asking...

this amuses me...

"Prime times at the Emmys"

bravo vinay menon, bravo...
your recap of this year's emmys tickled my facny.

FYI

"E.coli warning issued for Dole salad"

what you need to know:
the CFIA has issued a warning not to eat Dole Hearts Delight lettuce salad because it may be contaminated with some form of E.coli bacteria.
affected product - 227g packages with UPC 0 71430 01038 9, BIUB date of 07SE19, and lot code A24924B

phew... that title line got my heart going a little seeing as i ate a dole fruit cup for breakfast this morning! luckily, you only have the good luck to possibly be infected with E.coli if you wanted to be healthy and ate lettuce... scratch that good luck bit... those symptoms sound pretty awful! i hope this incident passes without anyone getting sick.

what?!

"Battle against saggy pants"

what? WHAT?!
this is ludicrous!
fines, community service, jail time (!!) for your (lack of) fashion sense??
i mean, i know i've suggested some sort of rehabilitation for "fashion victims" in the past but this is just taking the noon train to crazytown! my beef is with people going out and not knowing how ridiculous they look, maybe even thinking they looks good! these baggy pants people are clearly just uneducated in the matter.
whatever happened to freedom of expression? one's appearance is a way to express one's self - a part of who you are... the way a person dresses shouldn't be criminally dictated in public places. nudity i can understand - most people aren't so comfortable with private bits and believe it lewd even when the person has no such intention.
and "exposing underwear in public" is indecent and warrents a fine but essentially soft core porn in music videos is ok... if people who think this baggy pant nonsense is a bad influence, they should be going after everything that has a similar or worse influence.
gawd, i'm rambling... that means i have too many thoughts, a strong opinion, and it is too early in the morning for me to make sense of it all!

equal opportunity employer?

Hey big boy...

Nigerian banks must stop using attractive women to persuade customers to open accounts, Senate President David mark said yesterday. Mark said that despite a consolidation of the sector in 2005 that reduced the number of banks to 25 from 89 and was supposed to make them more efficient, many banks still used women to attract new business. "Banks have made it a policy to employ beautiful ladies and give them targets to meet," Mark said to the new Senate committee on banking and insurance.

do they also hire attractive males to entice female customers? probably not... not wanting to sound prejudice or anything but it is probably still so ass-backward in that country that men are the only ones with the money - bringing home the bacon, as it were... who cares about women, right? but this is like telling american horse piss ("beer") slingers to stop using beautiful women to sell their barely drinkable products. canadian beverage advertisers are also guilty but at least their product is palatable.

HA!

"We'll make the playoffs, Leaf coach vows"

HA! i say HA!
i've heard this one before...
as nice as it would be to see the boys in blue & white go the distance, doubts cloud the playoff future of the leafs. we shall see, we shall see...

sky high

"CN Tower no longer world's tallest"

still under construction the uae's burh dubai has reached 555 metres tall - 2 metres taller than toronto's reigning tallboy. well, at least the cn tower will still be the tallest building i'll ever see...

weighty issues

"How much does a kilogram weigh?"

apparently it's less than it used to... the international specimen for metric mass is mysteriously decreasing in weight - about 50 micrograms compared to dozen of copies made of the same material and kept under similar conditions. the 118-year-old cylinder is kept just outside of paris under heavy guard.

so maybe the laws of the universe aren't absolute... matter can be destroyed?? very curious...

a sense of perspective...

so my last post got me thinking...
here are some transit fare in other major canadian cities. how do you think they compare?

OTTAWA
cash fare - $3.00
tickets - $0.95
monthly pass - $73.00

MONTREAL
cash fare - $2.75
6-ticket strip - $11.75 (approx. $1.96 each)
monthly pass - $65.00

CALGARY
cash fare - $2.25
10-ticket book - $19.50 ($1.95 each)
monthly pass - $75.00

EDMONTON
cash fare - $2.50
10-ticket pack - $21.00 ($2.10 each)
monthly pass - $59.00

VANCOUVER
vancouver has a totally different fare system...
there's no way to logically compare it to the others.

you whooores!

"TTC hikes Metropass fare"

so the jerks over at the TTC have decided to hike the cost of the metropass as well as the cost ot tokens & tickets to overcome part of toronto's budget crisis and to combat overcrowding... metropasses will now cost $109 (up from $99.75) and tokens/tickets will now be $2.25 (up from $2.10).

hmm... combating overcrowding? a city like toronto can't afford to do something like this - they should be encouraging more people to take transit! the roads are buggered enough as it is! can you imagine forcing those 6 million riders lost due to this fare hike onto the GTA's roads? absolute madness!

i understand that toronto is looking at a $575 million budget shortfall but pulling money from transit or cutting service will be like a major coronary to business in the city. for business to flow, people need to flow! instead of cutting routes, the TTC should be looking to improve service and attract more riders. the more people living, work, and doing business in toronto, the more money that is being brought in.

also, fare hikes are not the only way to juggle the budget... i worked for the TTC over 3 work terms and unessential services are rampent! the amount of time, money, and energy wasted through unproductivity and lax work ethic is staggering! making the TTC machine run more efficiently would surely save a wack of cash.

whenever there is a budget crunch, you never see the brass tightening their belts... a 1% paycut to the execs would go a loooooong way. but instead, we're more likely to see a 5% pay hike addendumed to a fare increase motion. there would be NO better way to get the public on your side than announcing that you personally would take one for the team and take reduction in salary to help out - you're new slogan: EVERYONE is doing their part!

the long and speedy arm of the law

Police clock speeder at 199 km/h

Rachel De Lazzer, Star P.M. Staff Reporter

A Toronto man has been arrested for driving nearly 100 kilometres over the speed limit in the Peterborough area early this morning.

The man, 23, was driving a Mercedes at 199 km/h in a 100 km/h posted zone on Highway 115 in Cavan, Ont. shortly after midnight when the car caught the attention of an Ontario Provincial Police officer who stopped and charged the driver.

Zilong Fang of Brian Harrison Way in Toronto is charged with speeding. Only half an hour earlier, Peterborough OPP arrested another driver for speeding on the same highway in the same area.

A Chrysler travelling at 153 km/h in a posted 100 km/h zone was stopped and the female driver arrested.

the officer noticed the car did he?? i hardly think that he merely noticed the offending vehicle...

AND mr. speedy mcspeedster actually stopped?? how do you even read a license plate at that speed?? i know cop cars, especially highway patrol ones, are supped up but still... this guy could have been outta sight and pulled off hiding on a side road before the cop even started his car!

and to the cheap seats out there - no more complaining about my driving!!

things from the sea

"Get crackin' with New Brunswick lobsters"

look at the size of them claws!!

well, the description of how they eat it is a little naseuating... but i guess if you like lobster it might sound really good.

i know, it's a slow day for me...

well duh!

reports are coming out say that after her disasterous VMA performance britany totally lost it back stage, screaming "Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!"

well, what did you expect...? you can't sloth around for like 3 years, have 2 children and then expect to jump on stage and do some sort of time warp back you when people actually maybe kinda thought you were hot.

some helpful advice

alright kiddies... so you're debuting you brand new fashion label that you hope lots of people will flock to buy because you're a fomous celebrity and damn, how can you always look so good?!? so what do you wear to the launch party? something tasteful, that aptly reflects how awesome and trendy you and your new line are, right? right.

so then why do you think sienna miller decided to show up to the launch of her line twenty8twelve wearing this:

a top hat? a TOP HAT?!? geezes... i hope she was high...

office grumblings

what's with the hovering??

today seems like the day for hovering... is it hovering day and i just didn't get the memo? was there some sort of seminar on hovering last week that i wasn't invited to and now everyone is trying out their new-found hovering skills this week? is everyone hover certified except me?

go away! leave me alone! i AM doing (some) work! have no fear - it'll be done when you need it so go back to your office! if you had a deadline for me, why didn't you tell me when you gave me the work in the first place?! oh, 5 minutes have passed? good. nope, i'm still working on it... how am i supposed to get anything done if you keep interrupting me just as i get going? just because i'm sitting pointed into the corner like a small child in time-out does not mean you get to scary me silly every 5 minutes when you come buzzing around like a hornet in need of a good swatting!

oh and if you have a job you don't particularly feel like doing yourself what make you think i'm going to want to do it? do these houses have individual mailboxes or group mailboxes? ask that other guy if we have enough poster board? find out if the that lady was the one i was talking to about this. contact this guy who i can't get a hold of and who's invisible and get this information for me. hold this antsy viper in one hand and the irate marmoset in the other...

gawd! chill... it's only tuesday!

pure frivolity

well not only did you spend more that the gross income of a small counrty buying your valentino bag angelina jolie but you also bought a mini version for your more favourite daughter.

and you all thought angie was a saint for saving cambodia or something. nope. just a girl who likes pretty things.

do you think shiloh is hiding in the big bag?

yay for credit cards!

Buy a TV, get a tax cut

Next week, the city of Vaughan will launch a first for North America - a municipal credit card that allows residents to apply rewards to their municipal tax bill.

http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/255194

alright, so the title of this article is a little misleading but the actual idea of the "MuniCard" sounds like a good idea to me! if my city/municipality was offering these, i'd so be on board. taxes are a pain in the ass and i'm all for lowering them by just going about my daily business. i use my current credit card a fair deal and it offers me nothing for using it...

i find richmond hill mayor david barrow's comments on the card quite amusing... "I think people are more interested in air miles than taxes. Taxes are a pretty boring thing." of course yout hink that mr. richie rich! you're city is fully of the wealthy and boy oh boy do they have your ear! and the no direct benefit to the city thing? so what! so it's not directly benefiting "the system" - if it's helping your residents, it IS actually helping the city! happy residents make for a more smoothly run city! even YOU, david barrow could apply for a card if you so opted... that is, if you even pay taxes at all...

splish splash

is this, or is this not the most awesome pool ever???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOv-2HzNPaA

oh yeah... and something about a crazy dog...

smartass

There goes the bell curve

A 9-year-old math prodigy has become Hong Kong's youngest undergraduate, waltzing through his first day at university saying classes were too easy. March Boedihardjo was accepted by Hong Kong's Baptist University to study for a master's degree after gaining straight As in exams usually taken at 17 or 18. "It was too easy," Boedihardjo told reporters after attending a convocation ceremony in a pint-sized black-gown and his first day of classes Friday, adding that he's already learnt the subject matter a year or two ago.

well lah-dee-freakin-dah...

no one says it like hallmark

according to the Star P.M., paris hilton is suing hallmark cards for using her likeness and signature phrases without her permission. miz hilton is seeking a whooping $500,000!

come on paris, think of the publicity!! make a deal with them! you could have a whole line of stuff with your face on it!! cards, shirts, toilet paper... it's be like so hot!

"Learning Spanish... with a gay twist"
http://www.thestar.com/Travel/article/253478

why, oh why were these classes neer offered where i was learning? fluid mechanics? pleeease! i'd rather take this!

how precious is "he likes his rice through a straw"???

hockey night in canada will never be the same!

oh no!

"Frank Cosco, 84: Don Cherry's tailor"
http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/254811

does this mean don will have to wear normal suits from now on?

this picture makes me think...

HOOKER!

hooker, hooker, hooker!

i'm not saying i know a lot about hookers but...

isn't there just something about all-over animal print spandex that screams hooker?

however, i'm glad paris has cleaned herself up a bit after coming home from prison... yes, this IS cleaned up!

update: maybe she looks like a cougar?

she killed it, y'all!

literally, it's dead... britany spears killed her music career at the VMAs this weekend in las vegas. after much anticipation and much speculation that the performance would be spectacular, it turned out to be a big beer-belly disater! check it out:
http://perezhilton.com/?p=5265

sarah silverman (whom i don't generally enjoy as a comedian) managed to sum up brit-brit's whole life anc career in a clever one-liner: She's amazing. i mean, she is 25 years old and she's already accomplished everything she's going to accomplish in her life!

dear britany,
your music career (and any other entertainment-related career for that matter) is over.
please go away.
cheers!

music minute

an interesting little ditty from a little-known 80's band called The Extras...

I've got a rubber in my wallet.
One of those little whatchamacallit's.
I'm savin' it for that special day.
When the right girl comes my way.

It leaves a circular impression
From all those years of compression.
I've had it since I turned thirteen.
I got it in a vend'n machine.

[Chorus]
Circ circ circular impression!
Leading to a state of depression!
In my walla walla walla walla wallet!
I can't wait to install it!

No! I can't wait!

It's in a little tinfoil packet.
Sometimes I'm tempted to unwrap it.
It's got a reinforced border.
I hope it's still in working order.

"Be Prepared" they said in Boy Scouts.
I'm waiting for a chance to try it out.
I want to try this contraceptive.
But all the girls are unreceptive.

[Chorus]

I've got a French safe in my pocket.
It'll be the nose-cone on my rocket.
It comes direct from Paris, France.
Can't wait to take it from my pants.
Huhuh!

[Chorus]

retraction?

so this story may or may not be true...
FOX news is reporting it to be rubbish:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,295909,00.html#1

but then again, it's FOX news... and how much do we really want to trust them?

bye bye to our furry white friends

"GTA's last polar bear heads back up north"
http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/254145

sad for now but i can't wait to go see the new habitat when it's finished... i haven't been to the zoo in forever! i haven't even seen the changes they made to the orangutan building and that was probably ages ago now!
who wants to go to the zoo???

are you a morning person?

The early bird gets the heart disease

TOKYO - Generations have praised the wisdom of getting up early in the morning, but a Japanese study says early-risers are actually at a higher risk of developing heart problems. The study, conducted by researchers from several universities and hospitals in the western Japanese city of Kyoto, revealed a link between wake-up times and a person's cardiovascular condition. "Rising early to go to work or exercise might not be beneficial to health, but rather a risk for vascular diseases," said the study

and who knows better about living longer than the japanese? the have some of the most supercentenarians in the world!

so very classy...

how insanely classy is that? the public ass-grab...
oh pete wentz, didn't you used to be attractive?
ashlee, wasn't there a time when you weren't so gaunt looking?

where are the kiddie idols of yester-year? can you imagine if shirley temple had grown up in the media spotlight of today? better yet, can you imagine the celebrtards of today when they're as old as the esteemed ms. temple-black... surely not as classy or elegant!

the other meaning of life

Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown...
Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

the meaning of life...

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday night. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

~shudder~

untalented "actor" tobey maguire married his longtime girlfriend, jennifer meyer, on monday...

some advice for the new husband and wife:

please, please, please do NOT have children! for the sake of all those with functioning eyes... arrr, that's unattractive!

close to home

Police arrest 25 during Oshawa prostitution crackdown

Curtis Rush - Staff Reporter, Star P.M.

Police have arrested 25 people following a four-day campaign that targeted street prostitution on Oshawa. The campaign followed a number of complaints from the public, according to police.

In total, 16 prostitution charges were laid, in addition to five drug charges and 24 breach-court orders. Police say one female was arrested and released from police custody and within a few hours, she was arrested again for prostitution.

Investigators found several females who had previously been charged for prostitution having breached their release conditions.

huh... i never knew there were so many girls with low self-esteem in the 'shwa... well, actually, i did... think, just think (!!!) of all the STDs! the air was probably rife with them! i'd have asked for a rebreather if i had been on this bust; rubber gloves all-round! oshawa is a skeevy place. don't go there unless you have to.

alrighty then...

"The Wachowski Brothers Are No More"
http://www.cinematical.com/2007/09/04/the-wachowski-brothers-are-no-more/

good for him... her...
i'm all for people feeling more comfortable in their own skin!

joske & matt

congratulations to the happy couple!

family day?

oh david olive, just because you have no family doesn't mean you should sour on the idea of family day... maybe you'll get a valentine's day card next year!

http://www.thestar.com/OntarioElection/article/253278

i'm all for another holiday in the year! why is ontario like the only big province that has a substandard number of statutory holidays? i notice that those hard-workin' eastern folk also have fewer holidays... what's up with that?

what do you think about the proposed new holiday? any other suggestion for what we should call the day? why does it even need a name? can't we call it generic "civic holiday" like the one in august? whatever... the government is spending tax dollers on debating this kind of shiz? perfect...

sooo... how about that weather?

and the weather says: take THAT driest summer in 50 years!!!
(http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20070905.DRY05/TPStory/TPNational/Ontario/)

yes, it's almost quite literally raining cats and dogs this morning! the lawn is cheering hurray!!! mayhaps the storm will be so bad as to know out power to my building forcing us all to go home? i could only be so lucky... keep your fingers crossed for me!

hope you have your umbrellas today but if you don't...
when the sun shines, we'll shine together...
now that it's raining more than ever,
know that we'll always have each...
you can stand under my umbrella-ella-ella...

doot doo doo doo doo...

oh gawd...
i'm sooo bored!
i'm so bored i'm to the point of actually wanting work to do to keep myself entertained!
if only i was still and school and co-op was ending... 4 month spats are just fine with me - just enough time to get bored and then move on. am i actually so bored i'm wishing i was back in school? creepy.

oops!

it's not like it's rocket science or something...
oh wait!

"Red faces at NASA over climate-change blunder"
http://www.thestar.com/sciencetech/article/246027

you don't even need math to work at NASA these days...

mad hatter's tea party

hello?!
YOU HAVE MONEY! LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY!
why oh why do you insist on leaving the house in stuff you found in the dumpster behind the goodwill store?!? seriously, did you look in the mirror and say to yourself "damn, i look sassy! yes, yes, this'll do just fine! i look sucessful, hip, young, and HOT!"are you blind? a top hat? really?!? that's just a whole bunch of crazy!!

kids, don't drink and drive...
but if you do, at least don't be stupid about it!

"SUV rams RIDE checkpoint"
http://www.thestar.com/News/article/252348