no one has ever accused me of acting my age... they make have mistakenly called me a mature young lady but that's only because i was on my best behaviour because of the ice cream i was promised.
anyhoo... point of the story: while i was buying lottery tickets for my office lotto pool yesterday the clerk asked to see some i.d. being no stranger to being carded--seems like every single time i go into a liquor store i ALWAYS get carded... blah, blah, blah i'll enjoy it when i'm older whatever! i'm NOT older now--i handed it over without thinking. the response?
"WOW! i'm sorry!"
the clerk actually apologized for making me hand over my i.d. after finding out how ancient i was!
Friday, May 30, 2008
WARNING: extreme sense of humour needed
so my dad, being the humourist he is, has declared today, may 30th, to be International BBQ Day...
"In a bow to the pre-eminence of French cuisine, May 30th has been declared International Barbeque Day; acknowledging the events of 577 years ago today in Rouen, France."
scratching you head at the meaning? yeah... not being the world's greatest historian, that was me too. to save you the hassle of finding out for yourself, below is a link that might help you out.
click here only in you have a wry sense of twisted humour in place...
"In a bow to the pre-eminence of French cuisine, May 30th has been declared International Barbeque Day; acknowledging the events of 577 years ago today in Rouen, France."
scratching you head at the meaning? yeah... not being the world's greatest historian, that was me too. to save you the hassle of finding out for yourself, below is a link that might help you out.
click here only in you have a wry sense of twisted humour in place...
a matter of international security
people have just gone absolutely nutso over air travel and terrorism and national security... i was under the impression that the americans were the worst nutcases in this instance (and most others) but apparently canadians are on constant red alert as well!
Woman prohibited from taking Colt .45 trinket aboard plane because of its symbolic importance
the dodos in kelowna, B.C. airport security wouldn't let a woman board a plane because they thought the silver pendant in the shape of a antique pistol she was wearing posed a security risk to other passengers... and 5cm silver piece of jewellery. risky! s solid silver piece... with no moving parts. when she took it off and put it in her carry-on luggage, they tried to make her check her carry-on! it's just beyond silly!
"It was the applied symbolism that was the issue here. So what if I have guns on my t-shirt... or a gun tattooed on my neck? Is that going to make people uneasy?"
i've actually heard of an instance where a tattoo of a gun shot 3 people execution style and then hijacked a train... but that was a train and airplanes are TOTALLY different.
don't be fooled by the rocks that i got...
but if i'm going to be jenny from the block, i'm going to need a rock like THIS:
you get my meaning...?
you know, just a suggestion...
Thursday, May 29, 2008
a case of mistaken punctuation
"Boring machine stuck in Vaughan muck"
that title should have read: "Boring! Machine stuck in Vaughan muck"
that title should have read: "Boring! Machine stuck in Vaughan muck"
going into business
so at the height of boredom cliche, i've gone and googled myself.
but hey, guess what!?
i have my very own company!
AND i have over 28 years industry experience in the specialty soft-line retail and apparel manufacturing industries!
but hey, guess what!?
i have my very own company!
AND i have over 28 years industry experience in the specialty soft-line retail and apparel manufacturing industries!
pooh in pickering!
whee! there was a black bear "terrorizing" pickering residents yesterday. luckily the situation is under control and the bear has been taken at least 80km north, away from his family, to be released back into the wild.he wasn't really terrorizing anyone... he was just looking for a smackerle of honey!
"Black bear caught in Pickering"
Animal tranquilized and released back into wild
word of the day - may 29 08
schadenfreude
noun
a malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others.
so apparently my word-of-the-day dictionary mailing has run out of english words to send me... and now we're starting on the german language. SHOD-n-froy-duh... go on, say it out loud. SHOD-n-froy-duh! you know - with much schadenfreude, i laughed as that old man slipped and fell on the ice!
noun
a malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others.
so apparently my word-of-the-day dictionary mailing has run out of english words to send me... and now we're starting on the german language. SHOD-n-froy-duh... go on, say it out loud. SHOD-n-froy-duh! you know - with much schadenfreude, i laughed as that old man slipped and fell on the ice!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
sob story
"Plastic industry objects to bag ban"
Association worries LCBO bag ban is 'too much too soon'
so let's get this straight... you are upset because "the man" in squeezing out your company because it is bad for the environment which you, your family, your employees, your customers, etc. all live in? you want to keep making these harmful/wasteful products so you can have money even thought it's bad for where you're living? ok, i was just making sure.
also... 80 million bags used annually in ontario liquor stores?!? that's a LOT of liquor... but i guess a lot of people have problems and everyone loves drunken sluts so i guess there's quite the market out there for it...
one downside of getting rid of plastic bags will be the increased use of paper bags which aren't necessarily better for the environment. let's get rid of both! the LCBO has introduced their own reusable bag and i gotta get me one of those! you know, to go with the collection of other reusable bags i have in my trunk that i always forget about...
but what happened to the LCBO's bottle deposit and recycling program? where they were giving you blue plastic bags with the recycing symbol on them to bring your empties back to the store with? how's that going to work?
whatever... my main point was that the plastic industry are a bunch of whiny babies.
Association worries LCBO bag ban is 'too much too soon'
so let's get this straight... you are upset because "the man" in squeezing out your company because it is bad for the environment which you, your family, your employees, your customers, etc. all live in? you want to keep making these harmful/wasteful products so you can have money even thought it's bad for where you're living? ok, i was just making sure.
also... 80 million bags used annually in ontario liquor stores?!? that's a LOT of liquor... but i guess a lot of people have problems and everyone loves drunken sluts so i guess there's quite the market out there for it...
one downside of getting rid of plastic bags will be the increased use of paper bags which aren't necessarily better for the environment. let's get rid of both! the LCBO has introduced their own reusable bag and i gotta get me one of those! you know, to go with the collection of other reusable bags i have in my trunk that i always forget about...
but what happened to the LCBO's bottle deposit and recycling program? where they were giving you blue plastic bags with the recycing symbol on them to bring your empties back to the store with? how's that going to work?
whatever... my main point was that the plastic industry are a bunch of whiny babies.
move over lincoln memorial!
there's about to be new competition in town!
well... not IN town but it's a common phrase not to be taken literally.
in town, being in the town of famous and highly visited statues.
well... not IN town but it's a common phrase not to be taken literally.
in town, being in the town of famous and highly visited statues.
the grand city of milwaukee will dedicate a bronze statue of mr. arthur fonzarelli himself on august 19th so mark your calendars and start making travel plans! being not of the vintage of your parents, you might ask yourself, "why does milwaukee get this prestigious honour?" i'll answer that question for you: the tv show Happy Days which featured fonzie was set in milwaukee. but don't let my knowledge of this fool you into thinking i'm the same age as your parents. i read it in the article!
overkill much?
boy, things must be slow around the office for canadian press reporter jennifer graham... either that or she's on probabtion and being handed the "shit stories" pile of newsy tidbits... or she could be in some odd spin-off of Groundhog Day where she's forced to write about the same story everyday but she's the only one who realizes it? well, there's a slight hitch in that last scenario because it seem i have noticed it as well...
the link to the original story i posted about skydiver michel fournier's attempt at a 40-km record-breaking jump was out and out replaced by another story about the jump being scrapped. then there was another story about how the balloon that was supposed to carry fournier to great heights floated away without him. and now today there is yet another story blaming static electricity... but with no actual explanation. i expect another story tomorow morning about the exact details... and then maybe another one the next day explaining how static electricity works...
anyway, the best part about it is that ms. graham doesn't even have to write a whole new story! all she has to do it add a new line about the "breaking new development" and then she can just recycle bits of her old stories to flush it out! brilliant!
the link to the original story i posted about skydiver michel fournier's attempt at a 40-km record-breaking jump was out and out replaced by another story about the jump being scrapped. then there was another story about how the balloon that was supposed to carry fournier to great heights floated away without him. and now today there is yet another story blaming static electricity... but with no actual explanation. i expect another story tomorow morning about the exact details... and then maybe another one the next day explaining how static electricity works...
anyway, the best part about it is that ms. graham doesn't even have to write a whole new story! all she has to do it add a new line about the "breaking new development" and then she can just recycle bits of her old stories to flush it out! brilliant!
prudes
"MP's aide fired for buying tickets to too-sexy film"
so the aide fessed up to avoid disgracing her former boss, saying the ticket was in fact for her but that doesn't explain how the names of 3 other tory MPs ended up in the screening guest list for the film Young People F*cking...
who exactly do they think they're fooling? you KNOW they were all going to go see that movie! it was going to be like a little naughty office field trip! but i guess they just want to public to believe MPs are smooth like barbies down there and their children are immaculately conceived and delivered via c-section. MPs having sex? MPs thinking about having sex? impossible! sex has a direct negative impact on your political and moral compass!
so the aide fessed up to avoid disgracing her former boss, saying the ticket was in fact for her but that doesn't explain how the names of 3 other tory MPs ended up in the screening guest list for the film Young People F*cking...
who exactly do they think they're fooling? you KNOW they were all going to go see that movie! it was going to be like a little naughty office field trip! but i guess they just want to public to believe MPs are smooth like barbies down there and their children are immaculately conceived and delivered via c-section. MPs having sex? MPs thinking about having sex? impossible! sex has a direct negative impact on your political and moral compass!
confession
i came home at like 8:30 last night and crashed! i slept for like 10 straight hours! i'm feeling a wee tad chipper this morning and it's kind of scary. on the plus side, i think i may have solved my sleeping problem! 5+ nights of sleeplessness and all it takes to make it all better is an exhausted 10-hour marathon sleep!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
group project
hark!
i command thee to begin gathering all manner of interesting and colourful business cards so that i may begin creation of the greatest office craft project ever!
behold! the coveted business card icosahedron!
i command thee to begin gathering all manner of interesting and colourful business cards so that i may begin creation of the greatest office craft project ever!
behold! the coveted business card icosahedron!
[source]
thoughts on aging...
getting older has nothing to do with maturity.
more hilarity from someecards.com
high skies drama
boy, this guy just can't catch a break!
"Skydiver suffers new setback"
after he had to cancel his 3rd attempt at jumping from 40km up due to bad winds, his balloon floated away without him!
"Skydiver suffers new setback"
after he had to cancel his 3rd attempt at jumping from 40km up due to bad winds, his balloon floated away without him!
and isnt's it ironic...
it's a death row pardon, two minutes too late...
"Australian hung 86 years ago pardoned"
ok, so like a century too late but still...
is me writing/joking about this in bad taste?
it just begged for that alanis song to be quoted!
"Australian hung 86 years ago pardoned"
ok, so like a century too late but still...
is me writing/joking about this in bad taste?
it just begged for that alanis song to be quoted!
word of the day - may 27 08
ribald
adjective
1. characterized by or given to vulgar humor; coarse.
2. a ribald person; a lewd fellow.
excellent...
"oh hey, someone called me a ribald! what's a ribald?"
"a ribald is a ribald person."
defining a word using the same word is SO helpful!
adjective
1. characterized by or given to vulgar humor; coarse.
2. a ribald person; a lewd fellow.
excellent...
"oh hey, someone called me a ribald! what's a ribald?"
"a ribald is a ribald person."
defining a word using the same word is SO helpful!
Monday, May 26, 2008
the buzz about the office
here's an email excerpt from me to someone who's not really important to the story but she's going to make a fuss about me saying she's not really important...
I’m not sure how I feel about the move… Traffic is a major “bummer” and eating lunch at work is lame. Luckily, the new place at least has a lunch room. But with everyone NOT tucked away in offices, we’ll be all up in each others’ business! The privacy level is going way down… And the office crowd don’t know how to work in cubicles so it’s going to be LOUD!
Speaking of not knowing about how to work in cubicles… It’s common courtesy to knock before entering someone’s office even if the door is open, right? Just so you know, you don’t scare them right out of their skin? So then why is it ok for people to barge right into my “office” and be right beside me when they finally announce themselves? I’ve wet my pants more than I’d like because of that! Kidding… Mostly… Does my office space not warrant the same courtesy as an office with walls and a door? I hope this behaviour doesn’t continue once we get to the new office and people see what it’s like to be scared shitless. Until then, I’m thinking of taping off my “office”, door included and putting up a sign that says, “Please knock before entering"
and here's a picture one of my spies got for the new, albeit (STILL) empty, office space... exciting, no? ok, so it's not exciting but you didn't have to say it out loud!
I’m not sure how I feel about the move… Traffic is a major “bummer” and eating lunch at work is lame. Luckily, the new place at least has a lunch room. But with everyone NOT tucked away in offices, we’ll be all up in each others’ business! The privacy level is going way down… And the office crowd don’t know how to work in cubicles so it’s going to be LOUD!
Speaking of not knowing about how to work in cubicles… It’s common courtesy to knock before entering someone’s office even if the door is open, right? Just so you know, you don’t scare them right out of their skin? So then why is it ok for people to barge right into my “office” and be right beside me when they finally announce themselves? I’ve wet my pants more than I’d like because of that! Kidding… Mostly… Does my office space not warrant the same courtesy as an office with walls and a door? I hope this behaviour doesn’t continue once we get to the new office and people see what it’s like to be scared shitless. Until then, I’m thinking of taping off my “office”, door included and putting up a sign that says, “Please knock before entering"
and here's a picture one of my spies got for the new, albeit (STILL) empty, office space... exciting, no? ok, so it's not exciting but you didn't have to say it out loud!
stop unwanted pregnancies, get death as a consolation prize!
so this non-sleeping thing, some educated minds thought it might be due to yet another new birth control pill (5th time's a charm?) that i just started...
under the heading of "other more serious side effects" you get a veritable medical encyclopaedia of things that might be wrong with you:
under the heading of "other more serious side effects" you get a veritable medical encyclopaedia of things that might be wrong with you:
- sharp pain in the chest, coughing blood, or sudden shortness of breath - these symptoms could indicate a possible blood clot in the lung;
- pain in the calf - this symptom could indicate a possible blood clot in the leg;
- crushing chest pain or heaviness - this symptom could indicate a possible heart attack;
- severe headache, vomiting, dizziness, weakness, or numbness - these symptoms could indicate a possible stroke;
- sudden partial or complete loss of vision - this symptom could indicate a possible blood clot in the eye... and so on
talk about covering your bases! believe you me, when the doctor gave me the perscription, she may have failed to mention these "side effects"... it's like in those ridiculous drugs-on-tv ads - "side effects may include dizziness, loss of vision, headaches, anal bleeding, and death." but hey! your restless leg syndrome is all cleared up!
3rd time's a charm?
here's hoping for french skydiver michel fournier...
this crazy former army paratrooper is going for his third attempt to plummet to earth from 40km up. his last 2 attempts ended in pancaking. no, just kidding... they didn't go off because the balloon shredded before he even got off the ground.
"Skydiver aims for record 40 km fall"
me, i'm not so much for the jumping out of planes (or balloons) at great altitudes. i'm good to stay in the plane. or planted firmly on the ground for that matter.
this crazy former army paratrooper is going for his third attempt to plummet to earth from 40km up. his last 2 attempts ended in pancaking. no, just kidding... they didn't go off because the balloon shredded before he even got off the ground.
"Skydiver aims for record 40 km fall"
me, i'm not so much for the jumping out of planes (or balloons) at great altitudes. i'm good to stay in the plane. or planted firmly on the ground for that matter.
thoughts...
i think the internet is working through a sever in my head because it is being SOOO S-L-O-W!
the frustration, it is building!
the frustration, it is building!
thoughts...
i can't sleep and i think it might be drving me more insane... like to the point of people stopping in the street, pointing, and saying, "that woman's insane!"
Friday, May 23, 2008
admitting things
on the radio at lunch, the edge (102.1 FM) was have the "guilty pleasures" nooner and no sooner do i jump in the car than this guy is on there requesting "arms wide open" by creed...
the guy was all like, "i know some people don't like them... but i really do!"
and josie, the host, corrects him, "i think most people don't like them!"
then they played it.
and i knew all the words.
and i apologise.
the guy was all like, "i know some people don't like them... but i really do!"
and josie, the host, corrects him, "i think most people don't like them!"
then they played it.
and i knew all the words.
and i apologise.
newsy tidbit
whilst browsing the daily news serials this morning, i happened upon and anticle, well, more like an article title and accompanying picture that struck me as odd...
"Family fun in the GTA"
accompanied by this picture:
alrighty then.
"Family fun in the GTA"
accompanied by this picture:
alrighty then.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
WMD?
"Woman injures herself, 18 others with pepper spray"
she got into a fight with a guy because he thought she was being too loud on her cellphone and she ended up spraying not only herself but a group of schoolchildren and their teacher. they'll teach him! he'll never tell you to shut up on your cell phone ever again!
she got into a fight with a guy because he thought she was being too loud on her cellphone and she ended up spraying not only herself but a group of schoolchildren and their teacher. they'll teach him! he'll never tell you to shut up on your cell phone ever again!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
you lookin' at me?
what?
so i spent the day shopping online!
what's wrong with that?
oh, work? yeah... i did some of that too... i think...
so i spent the day shopping online!
what's wrong with that?
oh, work? yeah... i did some of that too... i think...
pimp my ride!
now you see, this, THIS is what the world needs more of! it would be such a much more interesting place if people would just "go there" and do the things that people dare not speak about!
cast your peepers over former spice girl mel b.'s spectaclar limo:
cast your peepers over former spice girl mel b.'s spectaclar limo:
hip to be square?
so i'm officially an adult in the age-sense of the word although my maturity lags far behind... but this still applies.
i hate it when "older people" try to use lingo to make themselves sound creditable to or influence the younger generation. it just sounds like they are trying way too hard. kids/young people can see right through your attempts to "get them at their level" and you just end up looking/sounding like a gigantic tool and your targets are even less likely to pay attention.
the best example out there right now is that lame-ass commercial for ontario health something-or-other; you know the one - "your kids are starting to learn a new language", "get your free brochure about how to talk to your kids about drugs" (sidebar: are there seriously parents out there that need step-by-step instructions from a government-produced brochure in order to talk to their kids?), etc. not only do i feel extremely mortified for the kids that had to be in that commercial (when can they show their faces at school again?) but i also feel embarrassed for whoever came up with the concept. how can you watch that without turning red and covering your face in shame? i can barely watch it without rolling my eyes so hard i fall out of my chair.
along the same lines, i was reading this article (see below) about skateboarding in the city and part of the title uses the phrase "THE SK8TE DEBATE"... a classic case of trying to deploy popular (well, used to be popular) slang in order to reach a broader/different audience. however, mission failed. you get a citation for "improper use of popular shorthand" - it'll be a $50 fine.
here's the article:
"When is a skater not above board?"
It's just as illegal in Toronto as in Fredericton to skateboard on city streets, yet it's a rule few riders here know about and rarely see enforced
i hate it when "older people" try to use lingo to make themselves sound creditable to or influence the younger generation. it just sounds like they are trying way too hard. kids/young people can see right through your attempts to "get them at their level" and you just end up looking/sounding like a gigantic tool and your targets are even less likely to pay attention.
the best example out there right now is that lame-ass commercial for ontario health something-or-other; you know the one - "your kids are starting to learn a new language", "get your free brochure about how to talk to your kids about drugs" (sidebar: are there seriously parents out there that need step-by-step instructions from a government-produced brochure in order to talk to their kids?), etc. not only do i feel extremely mortified for the kids that had to be in that commercial (when can they show their faces at school again?) but i also feel embarrassed for whoever came up with the concept. how can you watch that without turning red and covering your face in shame? i can barely watch it without rolling my eyes so hard i fall out of my chair.
along the same lines, i was reading this article (see below) about skateboarding in the city and part of the title uses the phrase "THE SK8TE DEBATE"... a classic case of trying to deploy popular (well, used to be popular) slang in order to reach a broader/different audience. however, mission failed. you get a citation for "improper use of popular shorthand" - it'll be a $50 fine.
here's the article:
"When is a skater not above board?"
It's just as illegal in Toronto as in Fredericton to skateboard on city streets, yet it's a rule few riders here know about and rarely see enforced
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
only in... utah?
*let the squeemish beware*
"Photographer gets javelin through leg"
dude had a stick through his leg and he took the time to get a picture of it! and of course, it ran with the story... i REALLY could have done without that.
but get this: the guy who speared the dude went on to win the state title!
"Photographer gets javelin through leg"
dude had a stick through his leg and he took the time to get a picture of it! and of course, it ran with the story... i REALLY could have done without that.
but get this: the guy who speared the dude went on to win the state title!
sky-rocketing crime rates...
because the article is just so funny on it's own, i'm going to post the whole thing right here so you don't run the risk of being too bored to follow the link.
"Mexican donkey jailed for assault"
May 20, 2008 06:33 AM
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
TUXTLA GUTIERREZ, Mexico – A donkey is doing time in southern Mexico for assault and battery.
Police say the animal was locked up at a local jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances after it bit and kicked two men near a ranch in Chiapas state.
Officer Sinar Gomez says the donkey will remain behind bars until its owner agrees to pay the men's medical bills.
The owner, Mauro Gutierrez, says he would try to reach a friendly arrangement to pay the men's bills, estimated at $420.
The victims said the donkey bit Genaro Vazquez, 63, in the chest on Sunday and then kicked 52-year-old Andres Hernandez as he tried to come to the rescue, fracturing his ankle.
Police said it took a half-dozen men to control the enraged burro.
"All of a sudden, the animal was on top of us like it was rabid," Hernandez said.
Chiapas police have thrown animals in the slammer before, including a bull that devoured corn crops and destroyed two wooden vending stands in March.
In 2006, a dog was locked up for 12 days after biting someone. His owners were fined $18.
"Mexican donkey jailed for assault"
May 20, 2008 06:33 AM
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
TUXTLA GUTIERREZ, Mexico – A donkey is doing time in southern Mexico for assault and battery.
Police say the animal was locked up at a local jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances after it bit and kicked two men near a ranch in Chiapas state.
Officer Sinar Gomez says the donkey will remain behind bars until its owner agrees to pay the men's medical bills.
The owner, Mauro Gutierrez, says he would try to reach a friendly arrangement to pay the men's bills, estimated at $420.
The victims said the donkey bit Genaro Vazquez, 63, in the chest on Sunday and then kicked 52-year-old Andres Hernandez as he tried to come to the rescue, fracturing his ankle.
Police said it took a half-dozen men to control the enraged burro.
"All of a sudden, the animal was on top of us like it was rabid," Hernandez said.
Chiapas police have thrown animals in the slammer before, including a bull that devoured corn crops and destroyed two wooden vending stands in March.
In 2006, a dog was locked up for 12 days after biting someone. His owners were fined $18.
dumb-ass idiot of the holiday weekend
congrats. gold star!
you win the "duh! you're a bonehead!" award.
"Speeding teen clocked at 239 km/h"
in an 80 zone!
how do you even get up to that speed? where is there room? especially on the roads north of barrie... the roads aren't that great...
i'm all for the rush of going fast but don't you think that just a wee tad too fast?
douche was charged with street racing, careless driving, and (AND!) failure to surrender his license and his lincoln LLS was impounded for 7 days. you have to know that baby will be the bitch in car prison.
you win the "duh! you're a bonehead!" award.
"Speeding teen clocked at 239 km/h"
in an 80 zone!
how do you even get up to that speed? where is there room? especially on the roads north of barrie... the roads aren't that great...
i'm all for the rush of going fast but don't you think that just a wee tad too fast?
douche was charged with street racing, careless driving, and (AND!) failure to surrender his license and his lincoln LLS was impounded for 7 days. you have to know that baby will be the bitch in car prison.
worst idea of the day
"Amy Winehouse Wants To Have Kids"
yup, that about sums it up. a big bad idea anvil needs to be dropped on this immediately.
yup, that about sums it up. a big bad idea anvil needs to be dropped on this immediately.
speaka you any engalish?
remember when i told you about the time i was at a resturaunt and we asked for tea and got hot sauce instead?
well, another time, we asked for 4 glasses of water and ended up with 4 bowls of rice...
i'm beginning to think that no one in my family actually speaks english. or we're just so incoherent that no one can understand us and we're all just used to it because it's hows we speakez at our housey.
so naturally at lunch today when we ordered fresh fruit milkshakes and instead got this:
well, another time, we asked for 4 glasses of water and ended up with 4 bowls of rice...
i'm beginning to think that no one in my family actually speaks english. or we're just so incoherent that no one can understand us and we're all just used to it because it's hows we speakez at our housey.
so naturally at lunch today when we ordered fresh fruit milkshakes and instead got this:
i wasn't really that surprised.
word of the day - may 20 08
Potemkin village
noun
an impressive facade or display that hides an undesirable fact or state; a false front
i'm not even sure this counts as a "word of the day" seeing as it is TWO words but we're running with it anyway... have you ever heard someone use this in a sentence? have you ever even (besides now of course) read this before? you can sound just as smarty-pants and possible less pretentious if you just stuck with the word facade instead.
noun
an impressive facade or display that hides an undesirable fact or state; a false front
i'm not even sure this counts as a "word of the day" seeing as it is TWO words but we're running with it anyway... have you ever heard someone use this in a sentence? have you ever even (besides now of course) read this before? you can sound just as smarty-pants and possible less pretentious if you just stuck with the word facade instead.
Friday, May 16, 2008
harrison ford: my hero
not only did he wax his chest for the environment, he has this to say about asking for his autograph:
"I'm as gentle as a lamb. I even give autographs while having lunch. The only time you shouldn't ask for an autograph is when I'm standing in front of a urinal. Or while I'm having sex."
ok, so the thought of him a calista doing the nasty has left me with the slight urge to vomit, but the rest of it just makes him even dreamier than ever!
[source]
"I'm as gentle as a lamb. I even give autographs while having lunch. The only time you shouldn't ask for an autograph is when I'm standing in front of a urinal. Or while I'm having sex."
ok, so the thought of him a calista doing the nasty has left me with the slight urge to vomit, but the rest of it just makes him even dreamier than ever!
[source]
voted most likely to have no friends in high school
"Michigan Girl Scout sells 17,328 boxes of cookies"
A Girl Scout sold 17,328 boxes of the group's signature cookies this year by setting up shop on a street corner, shattering her troop's old mark and probably setting a national record.
a) she set up on a street corner? yeah, nothing sounds shady about that... free box of girl scout cookies with every blow job! the little schemer also admitted that she knew how to get the most from people - "I know how to get people to buy more. If they buy two boxes and they hand me a 10, I'd be like, 'For 50 cents more, you can get three,' because three boxes are $10.50" lil' tramp knows a sucker when she sees one!
b) i smell partental pressure... her mom who helped her vend her wares on the street corner is also the troop leader!
c) congratulations on contributing to the growing obesity of north american culture!
A Girl Scout sold 17,328 boxes of the group's signature cookies this year by setting up shop on a street corner, shattering her troop's old mark and probably setting a national record.
a) she set up on a street corner? yeah, nothing sounds shady about that... free box of girl scout cookies with every blow job! the little schemer also admitted that she knew how to get the most from people - "I know how to get people to buy more. If they buy two boxes and they hand me a 10, I'd be like, 'For 50 cents more, you can get three,' because three boxes are $10.50" lil' tramp knows a sucker when she sees one!
b) i smell partental pressure... her mom who helped her vend her wares on the street corner is also the troop leader!
c) congratulations on contributing to the growing obesity of north american culture!
loving the drama
"Woman 'takes a bite out of the face' of her partner during drunken mid-air fight on holiday flight"
you see, this is what i LOVE about the Daily Mail... not only do they report about the most insane (read: best ever) news, they aren't very terse in their headlines. so you can get all the drama from the headline and not even have to bother with the actual story!
you see, this is what i LOVE about the Daily Mail... not only do they report about the most insane (read: best ever) news, they aren't very terse in their headlines. so you can get all the drama from the headline and not even have to bother with the actual story!
big barn animal bandwagon
first it was the biggest cow, now it's the biggest horse!
unfortunately for this horsie (his name is duke) a canadian horsie named radar holds the record for tallest horse, just an inch taller!
thoughts...
it feels like someone snuck into my room while i was sleeping last night and dropped a 12-volume encyclopedia on my face.
who wants to play a game?
how about "christina aguilera or drag queen?" sounds like good, old fashioned, family fun! brought to you by the wonderful people over at CityRag.
god (or lack there of) pays...
"Einstein God letter sells for $400,000"
A letter in which Albert Einstein dismissed the idea of God as the product of human weakness and the Bible as "pretty childish" has sold at auction for more than $400,000.
this is so strange... just last night i got a book called The God Delusion that i'm pretty excited to read... here's the publisher's synopsis:
In this provocative must-read, the preeminent scientist-and world's most prominent atheist-Richard Dawkins asserts the irrationality of belief in God and the grievous harm religion has inflicted on society, from the Crusades to 9/11. The God Delusion makes a compelling case that belief in God in not just wrong, but potentially deadly. It also offers exhilarating insight on the advantages of atheism to the individual and society, not the least of which is a cleaner, truer appreciation of the universe's wonders than any faith could ever muster. With rigor and wit, Dawkins eviscerates the major arguments for religion and demonstrates the supreme improbability of a supreme being. He shows how religion fuels war, forments bigotry, and abuses children, buttressing his points with historical and contemporary evidence. This is a book that challenges all of us to test our beliefs, no matter what beliefs we hold.
wow, that came out longer than i thought it would...
oh well, sound like a good read. i see many a late night in store for me while i read this. sounds really, REALLY interesting and thought-provoking.
A letter in which Albert Einstein dismissed the idea of God as the product of human weakness and the Bible as "pretty childish" has sold at auction for more than $400,000.
this is so strange... just last night i got a book called The God Delusion that i'm pretty excited to read... here's the publisher's synopsis:
In this provocative must-read, the preeminent scientist-and world's most prominent atheist-Richard Dawkins asserts the irrationality of belief in God and the grievous harm religion has inflicted on society, from the Crusades to 9/11. The God Delusion makes a compelling case that belief in God in not just wrong, but potentially deadly. It also offers exhilarating insight on the advantages of atheism to the individual and society, not the least of which is a cleaner, truer appreciation of the universe's wonders than any faith could ever muster. With rigor and wit, Dawkins eviscerates the major arguments for religion and demonstrates the supreme improbability of a supreme being. He shows how religion fuels war, forments bigotry, and abuses children, buttressing his points with historical and contemporary evidence. This is a book that challenges all of us to test our beliefs, no matter what beliefs we hold.
wow, that came out longer than i thought it would...
oh well, sound like a good read. i see many a late night in store for me while i read this. sounds really, REALLY interesting and thought-provoking.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
EXACTLY what i need for my living room!
i know it's a little late but my birthday was less than a week ago and you could still get me a present! and this, this is what i want!
do you have an extra 17.25 million pounds hanging around??
really, it's not my fault?
so not only does your brain encourge you to eat foods high in calories, but your dna is working against your "sexy for summer" body as well!
"Craving something sweet? Blame it on your DNA"
Toronto researchers find genetic trait that makes it hard for some of us to say no to sugar
while i encourage research into how the human body works, this is just another in the long line of excuses people can use when posed the question: why'd you let yourself get so fat?
making it ok to be overweight based on genetics or our brains is not good. taking a defeatist attitude like that can only go bad places. your health is your health and you seriously need to take care of it!
"Craving something sweet? Blame it on your DNA"
Toronto researchers find genetic trait that makes it hard for some of us to say no to sugar
while i encourage research into how the human body works, this is just another in the long line of excuses people can use when posed the question: why'd you let yourself get so fat?
making it ok to be overweight based on genetics or our brains is not good. taking a defeatist attitude like that can only go bad places. your health is your health and you seriously need to take care of it!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
do you know how crazy you sound?
so the weird, smelly guy with the persistent phlegm-y cough was busy talking conspiracy with a certain, very patient head draftsman and he's spewing such crazy stuff that it is hard to concentrate on actual work...
things like: after tesla died, the government went to his place and stole all his experiments and now they're locked away so the general population will never get the benefits from them...
and: the government is in kahoots with the gas companies to keep clean, affordable energy off the market... (ok, this one might be very plausible but one does not say these things out loud for fear of being socially shunned for being a conspiracy freak! these are the thoughts that you keep inside your head!)
more: when the trudeau kid finally goes into politics and becomes president, we'll see the canadian economy nosedive just like when his father was in power...
and yet more: the aliens man, they're coming! they're going to take me back to my home planet, man... we're not from earth, we're all from different planets! they're gonna take us home!
ok, so maybe not that last one.
things like: after tesla died, the government went to his place and stole all his experiments and now they're locked away so the general population will never get the benefits from them...
and: the government is in kahoots with the gas companies to keep clean, affordable energy off the market... (ok, this one might be very plausible but one does not say these things out loud for fear of being socially shunned for being a conspiracy freak! these are the thoughts that you keep inside your head!)
more: when the trudeau kid finally goes into politics and becomes president, we'll see the canadian economy nosedive just like when his father was in power...
and yet more: the aliens man, they're coming! they're going to take me back to my home planet, man... we're not from earth, we're all from different planets! they're gonna take us home!
ok, so maybe not that last one.
looking ahead
today i got my annual pension plan statement for last year and i'm not really an investment person so i have really no idea what it's telling me but that's not the most fun part...
the most fun part is where they've pointed out for me my "Normal Retirement Date"... you see, if i wait until this date to retire, i get my full pension... but that date, that date is oh so far away... i mean, i know i'm supposed to work all my life blah, blah, blah but i've never had an exact date laid out for me to see. itmade my laugh out loud and i'm still giggling (nervous giggles) about it now.
May 31, 2048
the most fun part is where they've pointed out for me my "Normal Retirement Date"... you see, if i wait until this date to retire, i get my full pension... but that date, that date is oh so far away... i mean, i know i'm supposed to work all my life blah, blah, blah but i've never had an exact date laid out for me to see. itmade my laugh out loud and i'm still giggling (nervous giggles) about it now.
May 31, 2048
Monday, May 12, 2008
fatty mcfat-pet
"Pictured: The fat guinea pig that's the size of a football"
for more pictures of the world's fattest pets, click the link... but it's all boring pets, mostly dogs. as bad as it would be for the pet, i would have loved to see a fat iguana or something.
for more pictures of the world's fattest pets, click the link... but it's all boring pets, mostly dogs. as bad as it would be for the pet, i would have loved to see a fat iguana or something.
COW!
and when i say COW! i really mean it!
this is 9-year-old chilli, a black & white friesian bull. at 6'6" tall, his owners are hoping the guinness book of world records will officially name him the world's tallest cow.
here's my favourite quote from the article:
"Despite his grand stature, Chilli only grazes on grass during the day and enjoys the occasional swede as a treat."
yes, that does say swede but i think they meant sweet? at least i hope they meant sweet...
this is 9-year-old chilli, a black & white friesian bull. at 6'6" tall, his owners are hoping the guinness book of world records will officially name him the world's tallest cow.
here's my favourite quote from the article:"Despite his grand stature, Chilli only grazes on grass during the day and enjoys the occasional swede as a treat."
yes, that does say swede but i think they meant sweet? at least i hope they meant sweet...
filler
as awesome as norma stitz is, i just HAD to write something, anything so she wouldn't be the first thing people (myself included) saw when they opened my site... it's just too much to handle!
why wasn't this laaaaaadeeeeee at the butterfly lounge??
anyway... i feel better now... and just for a good ol' shot of something wholesome, here's some baby meerkats:
why wasn't this laaaaaadeeeeee at the butterfly lounge??
anyway... i feel better now... and just for a good ol' shot of something wholesome, here's some baby meerkats:
for when you need your toddler to look crunkin'
my favourtie is the one up in the right corner... it's a pimp and all her little hoes!notice the heels? notice the boas? notice the hair? notice the brand awareness? notice the skank-itude?
next comes a line of excessively low-cut, curve-hugging mermaid dresses for your baby's red carpet events... like baptism!
[source]
putting things in perspective
so everyone in the world seems to be jumping on the "healthy junk food" bandwagon... 100 calorie, no fat, no sugar, no fun packages of flavoured cardboard snacks. i'm so not into that sort of thing - being overweight or not, i have no desire to waste my brain power on counting calories or justifying every single morsel that goes into my mouth. it just sounds like an obsessive cuckoo-crazy thing to do. i mean, is THAT the most important thing in your life? whatever happened to moderation, self-restraint, and exercise? but i guess it can be difficult when everything is super-sized and in your face! but getting into the north american portion size and the whole debate about over-fed and under-nourished is not what i want to get into right now.
i broke down in the grocery store the other day and bought these jos. louis 100 calorie thingys... don't judge me! i'm the perfect consumer - show it to me and i want it! also, they were on sale! (sidebar: why is it that eating healthier costs more??? you can so easily and cheaply get foods that aren't good for you but as soon as anything's marketed as "healthy" the price goes up. stupid, stupid, stupid... people are making fistfuls of money on delivering the general public and dismal lifestyle!)
now, i know i should have been skeptical when a box smaller than a tissue box proclaimed that it had 15 portions in it but i wasn't paying much attention. i was rather disheartened to see with my own eyes just how bad a regular jos. louis is for you considering the 100 calorie version looks like this:
but i am elated to report that is actually tastes like a normal jos. louis! rather than making a low fat, surgarless version, they've simply shrunken the portion.
i broke down in the grocery store the other day and bought these jos. louis 100 calorie thingys... don't judge me! i'm the perfect consumer - show it to me and i want it! also, they were on sale! (sidebar: why is it that eating healthier costs more??? you can so easily and cheaply get foods that aren't good for you but as soon as anything's marketed as "healthy" the price goes up. stupid, stupid, stupid... people are making fistfuls of money on delivering the general public and dismal lifestyle!)
now, i know i should have been skeptical when a box smaller than a tissue box proclaimed that it had 15 portions in it but i wasn't paying much attention. i was rather disheartened to see with my own eyes just how bad a regular jos. louis is for you considering the 100 calorie version looks like this:
but i am elated to report that is actually tastes like a normal jos. louis! rather than making a low fat, surgarless version, they've simply shrunken the portion.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
too smart for our own good?
"The Cost of Smarts"
Research on animal intelligence always makes me wonder just how smart humans are. Consider the fruit-fly experiments described in Carl Simmer's piece in the Science Times on Tuesday. Fruit flies who were taught to be smarter than the average fruit fly tended to live shorter lives. This suggests that dimmer bulbs burn longer, that there is an advantage to not being too terrifically bright
also, nerds are so uncool it makes my finger nails fall off.
Research on animal intelligence always makes me wonder just how smart humans are. Consider the fruit-fly experiments described in Carl Simmer's piece in the Science Times on Tuesday. Fruit flies who were taught to be smarter than the average fruit fly tended to live shorter lives. This suggests that dimmer bulbs burn longer, that there is an advantage to not being too terrifically bright
also, nerds are so uncool it makes my finger nails fall off.
a little shot in the self esteem
"Why'd you let yourself get so fat?"
ok, so the guy who wrote this sounds like he'd be a total jerk in real life but i don't really disagree with what he's said here... at the end, he asks you to comment and boy, people of all shapes and sizes have gone to town! if you have the time, you should go through and read the comments - they're really interesting.
what i don't get is why people got SO offended... i know his words were harsh but it's not like he's asking "why'd you let yourself get so black?" there were quite a few comments saying about how close-minded and hateful his comments were... black people are born black, fat people aren't born fat. it's completely different. being a certain race isn't a choice, living an unhealthy life style is.
and then there are those who say overeating is an addiction, a form of illness. if you found out you had any other illness, say like cancer, you'd definitely get help straight away! or if you had a cocaine addiction and you wanted to get clean you'd get help! why aren't more fat people getting help? kudos to those who are.
another group of people have totally ignored the commentary and gone straight to attacking the author's integrity, humanity, intelligence, appearance, and so on. calling what he writes hateful and then insulting him? irony? why not save your energy for something a little more constructive. comments like that have no merit and are easily brushed aside by not only the author but any other intelligent reader.
and i'm not some skinny, lithe little person spewing all this "hate" about fat people. let's make no mistake about it - i'm fat. i have my body issues but i'm dealing. i'm also dealing with making healthy life style decisions - i.e. eating healthier, potion control (this might be the hardest part ever!), exercise, and most importantly being happy with myself. i know that sounded barf-a-licious but it's true. and get your barf bags ready cause here comes more... you need to love yourself (this is getting tricky because of all the vomit on my keyboard) in order to make good decisions. i know your gagging and saying "this can't be the same jenn i know!" but some people just need to hear that kind of thing to get them going. and if i can get others on a good path, then that makes me feel even better.
ok, so the guy who wrote this sounds like he'd be a total jerk in real life but i don't really disagree with what he's said here... at the end, he asks you to comment and boy, people of all shapes and sizes have gone to town! if you have the time, you should go through and read the comments - they're really interesting.
what i don't get is why people got SO offended... i know his words were harsh but it's not like he's asking "why'd you let yourself get so black?" there were quite a few comments saying about how close-minded and hateful his comments were... black people are born black, fat people aren't born fat. it's completely different. being a certain race isn't a choice, living an unhealthy life style is.
and then there are those who say overeating is an addiction, a form of illness. if you found out you had any other illness, say like cancer, you'd definitely get help straight away! or if you had a cocaine addiction and you wanted to get clean you'd get help! why aren't more fat people getting help? kudos to those who are.
another group of people have totally ignored the commentary and gone straight to attacking the author's integrity, humanity, intelligence, appearance, and so on. calling what he writes hateful and then insulting him? irony? why not save your energy for something a little more constructive. comments like that have no merit and are easily brushed aside by not only the author but any other intelligent reader.
and i'm not some skinny, lithe little person spewing all this "hate" about fat people. let's make no mistake about it - i'm fat. i have my body issues but i'm dealing. i'm also dealing with making healthy life style decisions - i.e. eating healthier, potion control (this might be the hardest part ever!), exercise, and most importantly being happy with myself. i know that sounded barf-a-licious but it's true. and get your barf bags ready cause here comes more... you need to love yourself (this is getting tricky because of all the vomit on my keyboard) in order to make good decisions. i know your gagging and saying "this can't be the same jenn i know!" but some people just need to hear that kind of thing to get them going. and if i can get others on a good path, then that makes me feel even better.
this day in history
so we've already established the most important thing that happened on this auspicious day (see previous post) but what else has happen on MAY 8th of years past?
1794 - french chemist antoine lavoisier is tried, convicated, and guillotined all in one day!
1877 - new york city, the first westminster kennel club dog show opens.
1886 - pharmacist john styth pemberton invents a carbonated beverage that would later be named "coca-cola"...
1906 - italian director roberto rossellini born
1920 - finnish fetish artist tom of finland born
1926 - american comedian don rickles born
1944 - english singer gary glitter born
1945 - v-e day: combat in europe ends in WWII
1983 - say hello to ME!
1794 - french chemist antoine lavoisier is tried, convicated, and guillotined all in one day!
1877 - new york city, the first westminster kennel club dog show opens.
1886 - pharmacist john styth pemberton invents a carbonated beverage that would later be named "coca-cola"...
1906 - italian director roberto rossellini born
1920 - finnish fetish artist tom of finland born
1926 - american comedian don rickles born
1944 - english singer gary glitter born
1945 - v-e day: combat in europe ends in WWII
1983 - say hello to ME!
it's my party...
but i'm not going to cry...
unless you're mean to me or i don't get nay presents or something...
unless you're mean to me or i don't get nay presents or something...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
american's are boorish, uncultured a-holes
that there is how the following headline should have read...
"Americans can't stand to read about gay penguins"
A children's story about a family of penguins with two fathers once again tops the lost of library books the American public objects to most.
they also don't like books about freeing the slaves and women voting.
"The complaints are that young children will believe that homosexuality is a lifestyle that is acceptable. The people complaining, of course, don't agree with that, " Judith Krug, director of the [American Library] Association's Office for Intellectual Freedom, said in an interview yesterday.
kinda makes me a little sick to my stomach to think of how closed-minded people can be.
i was in the car listening to the radio (canadian radio - those north of the border can be a-holes too) the other day and they were taking about transvestite hookers... recently, soccer star ronaldo was caught with a trio of them at motel in rio. the radio people were obviously very uncomfortable with the subject and barely clinging to their manhood by acting overly outraged and grossed out. there was a point where this question was posed in regards to ronaldo's p.r. team: "how would you handle something like that?" and the response came quick as a whip: "preferably with gloves!" and i just looked at my carmate and exclaimed just how homophobic these idiot were acting. i mean it's a dick! whoop-dee-freaking-do! you probably handle yours all the time without gloves. if this is how men react when faced with the thought of another man's junk, why do they think women should be so over the moon about it?
"Americans can't stand to read about gay penguins"
A children's story about a family of penguins with two fathers once again tops the lost of library books the American public objects to most.
they also don't like books about freeing the slaves and women voting.
"The complaints are that young children will believe that homosexuality is a lifestyle that is acceptable. The people complaining, of course, don't agree with that, " Judith Krug, director of the [American Library] Association's Office for Intellectual Freedom, said in an interview yesterday.
kinda makes me a little sick to my stomach to think of how closed-minded people can be.
i was in the car listening to the radio (canadian radio - those north of the border can be a-holes too) the other day and they were taking about transvestite hookers... recently, soccer star ronaldo was caught with a trio of them at motel in rio. the radio people were obviously very uncomfortable with the subject and barely clinging to their manhood by acting overly outraged and grossed out. there was a point where this question was posed in regards to ronaldo's p.r. team: "how would you handle something like that?" and the response came quick as a whip: "preferably with gloves!" and i just looked at my carmate and exclaimed just how homophobic these idiot were acting. i mean it's a dick! whoop-dee-freaking-do! you probably handle yours all the time without gloves. if this is how men react when faced with the thought of another man's junk, why do they think women should be so over the moon about it?
do NOT trust the GoC with your stuff
because they will totally lose it!
just like they seem to have "misplaced" 41,000 illegal immigrants! they just plain don't know where they got to. poof! gone! like some sort of large scale magic trick...
"41,000 illegal immigrants gone missing"
Canada's border agency has lost track of 41,000 illegal immigrants, and this is "jeopardizing the integrity of Canada's immigration program," Auditor General Sheila Fraser says.
they can't find these people but they sure as hell can find you pretty fast when you don't pay your taxes...
just like they seem to have "misplaced" 41,000 illegal immigrants! they just plain don't know where they got to. poof! gone! like some sort of large scale magic trick...
"41,000 illegal immigrants gone missing"
Canada's border agency has lost track of 41,000 illegal immigrants, and this is "jeopardizing the integrity of Canada's immigration program," Auditor General Sheila Fraser says.
they can't find these people but they sure as hell can find you pretty fast when you don't pay your taxes...
gonna bag me a rich one!
and a young one to boot!
they may not all be lookers but i bet these guys and gals get TONS of tail!
here's forbes.com's list of the Youngest Billionaires:
John Arnold (U.S.)
age: 34
worth: $1.5 billion, self-made
how? oil trader for enron, now runs hedge fund centaurus energy
Xiaofeng Peng (China)
age: 33
worth: $2.5 billion, self-made
how? took solar panel producing company public on NYSE euronext
Shivinder Singh (India)
age: 32
worth: $2.5 billion, inherited
how? inherited control of generic drug maker ranbaxy laboratories
Begumhan Dogan Faralyali (Turkey)
age: 31
worth: $1 billion, inherited
how? joined family media business and eventaully became its president
Aymin Hariri (Saudi Arabia)
age: 29
worth: $2.3 billion, inherited
how? manages family construction & investment company, u.s. government contracting
Fahd Hariri (Lebanon)
age: 27
worth: $2.3 billion, inherited
how? younger brother of aymin (see above) and he does a bunch of other stuff too
Yang Huiyan (China)
age: 26
worth: $7.4 billion, inherited
how? daddy's girl - got father's stake in company as graduation present
Albert van Thurn und Taxis (Germany)
age: 24
worth: $2.3 billion, inherited
how? he's a prince
Hind Hariri (Lebanon)
age: 24
worth: $1.1 billion, inherited
how? sister of aymin and fahd, inherited stake in family business
Mark Zuckerberg (U.S.)
age: 23
worth: $1.5 billion, self-made
how? founded facebook from his dorm room, sold a sliver of the state to microsoft for $240 million
they may not all be lookers but i bet these guys and gals get TONS of tail!
here's forbes.com's list of the Youngest Billionaires:
John Arnold (U.S.)
age: 34
worth: $1.5 billion, self-made
how? oil trader for enron, now runs hedge fund centaurus energy
Xiaofeng Peng (China)
age: 33
worth: $2.5 billion, self-made
how? took solar panel producing company public on NYSE euronext
Shivinder Singh (India)
age: 32
worth: $2.5 billion, inherited
how? inherited control of generic drug maker ranbaxy laboratories
Begumhan Dogan Faralyali (Turkey)
age: 31
worth: $1 billion, inherited
how? joined family media business and eventaully became its president
Aymin Hariri (Saudi Arabia)
age: 29
worth: $2.3 billion, inherited
how? manages family construction & investment company, u.s. government contracting
Fahd Hariri (Lebanon)
age: 27
worth: $2.3 billion, inherited
how? younger brother of aymin (see above) and he does a bunch of other stuff too
Yang Huiyan (China)
age: 26
worth: $7.4 billion, inherited
how? daddy's girl - got father's stake in company as graduation present
Albert van Thurn und Taxis (Germany)
age: 24
worth: $2.3 billion, inherited
how? he's a prince
Hind Hariri (Lebanon)
age: 24
worth: $1.1 billion, inherited
how? sister of aymin and fahd, inherited stake in family business
Mark Zuckerberg (U.S.)
age: 23
worth: $1.5 billion, self-made
how? founded facebook from his dorm room, sold a sliver of the state to microsoft for $240 million
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
picture of the week - may 6 (part II)
i know this like breaks all the rules of the universe but i have another picture that also deserves the title of "picture of the week"
i suppose i could have waited a week and posted it then but as i've mentioned, i have a bowl of chicken soup for a brain and breaking the rules is fun! so long as it doesn't cause a rip in the time-space continum and we all get suck into nothingness...
anyway... here's chilean volcano chaiten erupting in the middle of the night amidst raging lightning storms:
i suppose i could have waited a week and posted it then but as i've mentioned, i have a bowl of chicken soup for a brain and breaking the rules is fun! so long as it doesn't cause a rip in the time-space continum and we all get suck into nothingness...
anyway... here's chilean volcano chaiten erupting in the middle of the night amidst raging lightning storms:
[source]
picture of the week - may 6
uprooted trees in the city of yangon in myanmar after cyclone nargis ripped through the region.
[source]
thanks mom!
for letting me suck on your boobs as a child. it really helped me out with my university education! (i'm SO putting this on my mom's mother's day card!)
"Breast-feeding called smart choice"
Canadian researchers dispel lingering doubts about intelligence boost by nursing from breast
"Children who are breast-fed are smarter than those who aren't. And children who nurse longer and more intensely are smarter still, according to the largest ever study on lactation and intelligence."
good news for kids who didn't get breast-fed - you can always just cross your arms when taking your exams!
"Breast-feeding called smart choice"
Canadian researchers dispel lingering doubts about intelligence boost by nursing from breast
"Children who are breast-fed are smarter than those who aren't. And children who nurse longer and more intensely are smarter still, according to the largest ever study on lactation and intelligence."
good news for kids who didn't get breast-fed - you can always just cross your arms when taking your exams!
fill-in-the-blanks
bat-wielding ______(noun) ______(verb) pit bull attack
i bet your first thoughts were something alongs the lines of:
bat-wielding maniac instigates pit bull attack
i mean, how can the phrase "bat-wielding" be followed by anything other than the word "maniac"? that just makes sense. "bat-wielding maniac" - it just rolls off the end of your tongue!
but english is a funny language...
"Bat-wielding hero thwarts pit bull attack"
i know he saved the kid from a vicious attack and everything but i think animal rights people are going to jump all over this... i mean, bashing the dog over the head with a bat? it was probably "appropriate force" at the time but it just comes out sounding rather extreme...
i bet your first thoughts were something alongs the lines of:
bat-wielding maniac instigates pit bull attack
i mean, how can the phrase "bat-wielding" be followed by anything other than the word "maniac"? that just makes sense. "bat-wielding maniac" - it just rolls off the end of your tongue!
but english is a funny language...
"Bat-wielding hero thwarts pit bull attack"
i know he saved the kid from a vicious attack and everything but i think animal rights people are going to jump all over this... i mean, bashing the dog over the head with a bat? it was probably "appropriate force" at the time but it just comes out sounding rather extreme...
unwashed hippies
just to warn you, this yarn does go on-and-on so make sure you have plenty of time (and maybe a barf bag for those of you with weak stomachs) before you click the link...
"More to sex than intercourse"
Fulfillment spreads outward from orgasm to put feelings into life
"In a growing offshoot of the world of yoga, sex and spirit are coming together again after a long estrangement."
"Proponents of the spiritual approach to sex say it offers greater emotional awareness, more connected relationships, and a greater sense of fulfillment in life."
oh gak! how do you spew stuff like that without retching a little??
whatever happened to just a good solid lay?
why are they out there trying to make sex such a "heavy" subject... it should be fun!
i picture the so-called "proponents" of this movement in their hippie vests and gypsy skirts spinning in meadows, arms aloft exposing their unshaven armpits...
"More to sex than intercourse"
Fulfillment spreads outward from orgasm to put feelings into life
"In a growing offshoot of the world of yoga, sex and spirit are coming together again after a long estrangement."
"Proponents of the spiritual approach to sex say it offers greater emotional awareness, more connected relationships, and a greater sense of fulfillment in life."
oh gak! how do you spew stuff like that without retching a little??
whatever happened to just a good solid lay?
why are they out there trying to make sex such a "heavy" subject... it should be fun!
i picture the so-called "proponents" of this movement in their hippie vests and gypsy skirts spinning in meadows, arms aloft exposing their unshaven armpits...
Monday, May 5, 2008
$40K down the shitter
literally...
"Tax agency spends $40K on new washroom"
Your tax dollars at work: Canadians who just figured out how much of their hard-earned cash to send to Ottawa may be surprised to learn that more than $40,000 was spent on a new washroom in the office suite of the top taxman.
last time i checked, a bathroom reno didn't cost that much... are the fixtures made of platinum? sounds like a "basic" washroom facility to me! don't for get the swan fountain and the vestal virgins doling out hand towels.
"Tax agency spends $40K on new washroom"
Your tax dollars at work: Canadians who just figured out how much of their hard-earned cash to send to Ottawa may be surprised to learn that more than $40,000 was spent on a new washroom in the office suite of the top taxman.
last time i checked, a bathroom reno didn't cost that much... are the fixtures made of platinum? sounds like a "basic" washroom facility to me! don't for get the swan fountain and the vestal virgins doling out hand towels.
sharp elbows, sharp mind
did you know...?
Folding your arms un consciously makes your brain sharper, study finds
The mere act of folding your arms increases perseverance and activats an unconcious desire to succeed, new research shows. University students randomly assigned to sit with their arms crossed spent more time on an impossible-to-solve anagram, or word scramble, in one experiment, and came up with more correct solutions to solvable anagrams in another than those told to sit with their hands on their thighs.
The study is the first to show that arm crossing affects people's thinking without them being conciously aware of it. Normally, it's thought that it's a psychological state that leads to a body movement. The study suggests it goes both ways, that a body movement also can trigger a psychological state
source: The National Post (v10, #161)
Folding your arms un consciously makes your brain sharper, study finds
The mere act of folding your arms increases perseverance and activats an unconcious desire to succeed, new research shows. University students randomly assigned to sit with their arms crossed spent more time on an impossible-to-solve anagram, or word scramble, in one experiment, and came up with more correct solutions to solvable anagrams in another than those told to sit with their hands on their thighs.
The study is the first to show that arm crossing affects people's thinking without them being conciously aware of it. Normally, it's thought that it's a psychological state that leads to a body movement. The study suggests it goes both ways, that a body movement also can trigger a psychological state
source: The National Post (v10, #161)
Friday, May 2, 2008
speaking of...
after that post below, i was feeling a little despair over food choices and contemplating trying to commune with nature by only eating grass for the next week but luckily, forbes.com provided me with a list of "Waistline-Friendly Snacks" that mostly don't sound too icky.
Crispy Green Crispy Fruit
last year it was pineapples, now its asian pears. that's the latest addition to crispy green's line of freeze-dried snacks, which have no added sugar, preservatives or colour. each serving has less than 39 calories.
http://www.crispygreen.com/
think5 Bar
it's hard to go wrong with a snack that serves up five cups of fruits and vegetables--meeting u.s. department of agriculture's recommended daily allowance. thinkproducts' think5 bar contains spinach, watercress and a blend of broccoli, carrots and other vegetables, but pops with the taste of cranberry. try it in red berry or chocolate red berry.
http://www.thinkproducts.com/
Crum Creek Mills Soy Almond Biscuties
(sidenote: sorry... i'm not sure i can eat anything called a "biscutie" and not think it was possibly intended for a dog.)
instead of a cooke, try grabbing a few crum creek mills soy almond biscuties. full of nuts, raisins and spices, this snack packs 5 grams of protein in each serving--fourcookies--and contains no added fat or salt.
http://www.crumcreek.com/
EatSmart Potato Chips
trans-fat free, these chips have 30% less fat than regual potato chips and provide 3 grams of fiber per serving. try the lightly salted, french onion or sweet barbecue varieties.
http://www.eatsmartsnacks.com/
Hillside Candy's GoNaturally Organic Hard Candies in Pomegranate
looking for a sweet new candy that contains no preservatives, corn syrup or hydrogenated oils? hillside candy's gonaturally organic hard candies are now available in apple and the ever-popular pomegranate.
http://www.hillsidecandy.com/
Jack Link's 50-Calorie Portion-Control Multi-Pack
(this one also reminds me of a doggie treat... and, have you ever seen so many hyphens in one phrase???)
you've heard of the 100-calorie snack pack, but what about the 50-calorie version? jack link's is now offering portion-control package sizes of protein-filled products, including original jerky, teriyaki nuggets and prime rib tender cuts. try the prime rib tenders, which contain two grams of carbohydrates, six grams of protein and no trans fats.
http://www.jacklinksjerky.com/
Dannon Light & Fit 0% Plus
with no fat and about 50 calories per 4-oz. serving, dannon's new yogurt, light & fit 0% plus, is a great snack for those watching their weight. it's also heavy in nutrients, providing 10% of your recommended daily allowance of calcium, vitamin D and vitamin B2.
http://www.lightnfit.com/
La Brea Bakery Honey & Nut Snack Granola
trans-fat free and full of whole grains, la brea bakery's new honey & nut snack granola contains healthy nuts, seeds and dried fruits. these bite-size clusters are a good choice for an on-the-go snack.
http://www.labreabakery.com/
Crispy Green Crispy Fruit
last year it was pineapples, now its asian pears. that's the latest addition to crispy green's line of freeze-dried snacks, which have no added sugar, preservatives or colour. each serving has less than 39 calories.
http://www.crispygreen.com/
think5 Bar
it's hard to go wrong with a snack that serves up five cups of fruits and vegetables--meeting u.s. department of agriculture's recommended daily allowance. thinkproducts' think5 bar contains spinach, watercress and a blend of broccoli, carrots and other vegetables, but pops with the taste of cranberry. try it in red berry or chocolate red berry.
http://www.thinkproducts.com/
Crum Creek Mills Soy Almond Biscuties
(sidenote: sorry... i'm not sure i can eat anything called a "biscutie" and not think it was possibly intended for a dog.)
instead of a cooke, try grabbing a few crum creek mills soy almond biscuties. full of nuts, raisins and spices, this snack packs 5 grams of protein in each serving--fourcookies--and contains no added fat or salt.
http://www.crumcreek.com/
EatSmart Potato Chips
trans-fat free, these chips have 30% less fat than regual potato chips and provide 3 grams of fiber per serving. try the lightly salted, french onion or sweet barbecue varieties.
http://www.eatsmartsnacks.com/
Hillside Candy's GoNaturally Organic Hard Candies in Pomegranate
looking for a sweet new candy that contains no preservatives, corn syrup or hydrogenated oils? hillside candy's gonaturally organic hard candies are now available in apple and the ever-popular pomegranate.
http://www.hillsidecandy.com/
Jack Link's 50-Calorie Portion-Control Multi-Pack
(this one also reminds me of a doggie treat... and, have you ever seen so many hyphens in one phrase???)
you've heard of the 100-calorie snack pack, but what about the 50-calorie version? jack link's is now offering portion-control package sizes of protein-filled products, including original jerky, teriyaki nuggets and prime rib tender cuts. try the prime rib tenders, which contain two grams of carbohydrates, six grams of protein and no trans fats.
http://www.jacklinksjerky.com/
Dannon Light & Fit 0% Plus
with no fat and about 50 calories per 4-oz. serving, dannon's new yogurt, light & fit 0% plus, is a great snack for those watching their weight. it's also heavy in nutrients, providing 10% of your recommended daily allowance of calcium, vitamin D and vitamin B2.
http://www.lightnfit.com/
La Brea Bakery Honey & Nut Snack Granola
trans-fat free and full of whole grains, la brea bakery's new honey & nut snack granola contains healthy nuts, seeds and dried fruits. these bite-size clusters are a good choice for an on-the-go snack.
http://www.labreabakery.com/
tasty + nutritious = black hole?
why do all the "heath-wise" options always have to be the grossest sounding ones?
well, i guess meat cooked in it's own fat & juices doesn't sound too appetizing but which would you rather? that or ground-beef-style soy crumbles...? it sounds like it'll taste like cardboard with dirt mixed in and have the texture of old styrofoam!
also, why when i heard of the website called hungry-girl.com did i think of enormous fat girls sitting around stuffing their faces like the game hungry hungry hippos? like fat girls who just aren't satisfied by "normal" portion sizes... am i a bad person? is it just me or does anyone else out there NEVER want to be referred to as a "hungry girl"?
i actually saw an add for the site's cook book that is coming out and thought it might be interesting (aside from the cringe factor over the name) so i went to the site to further investigate. little did i know that i'd be smacked in the face with skin-prickling-ly icky "calorie-saving cooking swaps" like this:
1. nonstick cooking spray instead of oil for stovetop cooking (but what exactly is nonstick cooking spray made of? i don't think i want to know.)
2. canned pumpkin instead of eggs and oil for baking (but what if not everything i bake is designed to be pumpkin-flavoured? you're not supposed to be able to taste it, blah, blah, blah, bullshit!)
3. light vanilla soymilk instead of milk or cream (i'm down with this actually.)
4. fat-free liquid egg substitute instead of eggs (me and eggs don't have the most agreeable history but the alternative just sounds so... processed. but i'm willing to give this a go.)
5. no-sugar-added applesauce instead of butter (when it comes to baking, things just don't come out right when you don't use the proper ingredients... also, see my comment about the pumpkin.)
6. ground-beef-style soy crumbles instead of ground beef (fuck it. give me the beef-induced heart attack - it'd be less painful than eating a "soy crumble.")
7. splenda no calorie sweetener instead of sugar (but think of the harmful effects of aspartame!)
8. butternot (typo, but i'm keeping it - seems apt) squash instead of potatoes (there's a reason we have potatoes in the first place - we already tried the squash and it was icky.)
gawd... i need to go to the gym...
well, i guess meat cooked in it's own fat & juices doesn't sound too appetizing but which would you rather? that or ground-beef-style soy crumbles...? it sounds like it'll taste like cardboard with dirt mixed in and have the texture of old styrofoam!
also, why when i heard of the website called hungry-girl.com did i think of enormous fat girls sitting around stuffing their faces like the game hungry hungry hippos? like fat girls who just aren't satisfied by "normal" portion sizes... am i a bad person? is it just me or does anyone else out there NEVER want to be referred to as a "hungry girl"?
i actually saw an add for the site's cook book that is coming out and thought it might be interesting (aside from the cringe factor over the name) so i went to the site to further investigate. little did i know that i'd be smacked in the face with skin-prickling-ly icky "calorie-saving cooking swaps" like this:
1. nonstick cooking spray instead of oil for stovetop cooking (but what exactly is nonstick cooking spray made of? i don't think i want to know.)
2. canned pumpkin instead of eggs and oil for baking (but what if not everything i bake is designed to be pumpkin-flavoured? you're not supposed to be able to taste it, blah, blah, blah, bullshit!)
3. light vanilla soymilk instead of milk or cream (i'm down with this actually.)
4. fat-free liquid egg substitute instead of eggs (me and eggs don't have the most agreeable history but the alternative just sounds so... processed. but i'm willing to give this a go.)
5. no-sugar-added applesauce instead of butter (when it comes to baking, things just don't come out right when you don't use the proper ingredients... also, see my comment about the pumpkin.)
6. ground-beef-style soy crumbles instead of ground beef (fuck it. give me the beef-induced heart attack - it'd be less painful than eating a "soy crumble.")
7. splenda no calorie sweetener instead of sugar (but think of the harmful effects of aspartame!)
8. butternot (typo, but i'm keeping it - seems apt) squash instead of potatoes (there's a reason we have potatoes in the first place - we already tried the squash and it was icky.)
gawd... i need to go to the gym...
thoughts...
i think instead of brains, i got chicken noodle soup...
while it's all very warm and hearty, it's not so good in the retention of information.
while it's all very warm and hearty, it's not so good in the retention of information.
i feel like i'm taking crazy pills!
why am i the only one who keeps point this out?!?
Made of Honor? same as My Best Friend's Wedding?
just with different gendered characters? anybody?
so it's a "chick flick" and i can understand that "manly men" are going to try and prove their manhood by exclaiming how stupid it is... a transcribed quote from the radio this morning: "how can he [patrick dempsey, i.e. mcdreamy] take himself or anyone else take him seriously as an actor after something like this?" umm... have you all forgotten mcdreamy's pre-grey's anatomy movie moment of glory, Can't Buy Me Love??? if he can still get work after that steaming pile, surely this won't hurt his career.
and it looks like, once again, TheStar.com and Sum Media are at odds about the review of this movie...
Philip Marchand of TheStar.com says
"'Made of Honor': Not made in heaven" (2/4 stars)
and Sun Media's Liz Braun says
"'Made of Honor' romantic & comedic" (4/5 stars)
but i think the discrepancy can be cleared up by referring back to my "click flick" comment - guys don't want to risk their manhood being insulted so they vehemently proclaim ALL "chick flicks" to be stupid or crappy or something. and women, most of them love sap. all that being said, i'm still not going to see this movie.
Made of Honor? same as My Best Friend's Wedding?
just with different gendered characters? anybody?
so it's a "chick flick" and i can understand that "manly men" are going to try and prove their manhood by exclaiming how stupid it is... a transcribed quote from the radio this morning: "how can he [patrick dempsey, i.e. mcdreamy] take himself or anyone else take him seriously as an actor after something like this?" umm... have you all forgotten mcdreamy's pre-grey's anatomy movie moment of glory, Can't Buy Me Love??? if he can still get work after that steaming pile, surely this won't hurt his career.
and it looks like, once again, TheStar.com and Sum Media are at odds about the review of this movie...
Philip Marchand of TheStar.com says
"'Made of Honor': Not made in heaven" (2/4 stars)
and Sun Media's Liz Braun says
"'Made of Honor' romantic & comedic" (4/5 stars)
but i think the discrepancy can be cleared up by referring back to my "click flick" comment - guys don't want to risk their manhood being insulted so they vehemently proclaim ALL "chick flicks" to be stupid or crappy or something. and women, most of them love sap. all that being said, i'm still not going to see this movie.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
bad news for the kids...
"Young earn less than parents did"
Young people entering the job market today may be better educated, but they're earning less money than their parents did a generation ago.
phooey!
bucking the trend, i'd just like to point out that just starting out, i'm making almost as much as my dad makes now!
but i'm going to go ahead and blame inflation for blowing this statistic out of the water. the comparison compares current young peoples' salaries to the salaries of their parents as young people adjusted for inflation. inflation's a bitch.
Young people entering the job market today may be better educated, but they're earning less money than their parents did a generation ago.
phooey!
bucking the trend, i'd just like to point out that just starting out, i'm making almost as much as my dad makes now!
but i'm going to go ahead and blame inflation for blowing this statistic out of the water. the comparison compares current young peoples' salaries to the salaries of their parents as young people adjusted for inflation. inflation's a bitch.
eww...?
i guess the internet has everything else so why shouldn't it have this...
did you know that there is actually a website that's called findagrave.com???
Find the graves of ancestors, create virtual memorials, add 'virtual flowers' and a note to a loved one's grave, etc.
riiight... you can also fins famous people's graves so you can go and gawk! fun, no?
just for the sake of curiosity, i searched my name. i'm relieved (??) to find out that there are no graves in this database for a 'Jennifer Black" in canada...
did you know that there is actually a website that's called findagrave.com???
Find the graves of ancestors, create virtual memorials, add 'virtual flowers' and a note to a loved one's grave, etc.
riiight... you can also fins famous people's graves so you can go and gawk! fun, no?
just for the sake of curiosity, i searched my name. i'm relieved (??) to find out that there are no graves in this database for a 'Jennifer Black" in canada...
naming convention
from canada? canadian.
from china? chinese.
from france? french.
from lybia? lybian.
from the USA? idiot. but that's not the point i'm getting at here...
from lesbos???
"Lesbos residents sue group over use of 'Lesbian'"
a few fired-up residents of the greek island of lesbos are suing the "Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece" in order to get them to change their name...
from china? chinese.
from france? french.
from lybia? lybian.
from the USA? idiot. but that's not the point i'm getting at here...
from lesbos???
"Lesbos residents sue group over use of 'Lesbian'"
a few fired-up residents of the greek island of lesbos are suing the "Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece" in order to get them to change their name...
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