"University loses round on holiday policy"
York's practice of canceling classes for Jewish holidays found to be discriminatory
blah blah blah... they can say whatever they want about how discriminatory this is but they always seem to forget that we have both easter and christmas off. it's always discrimination when we try to get new (read: different) religious holidays sanctioned but it is never discrimination that, because of long-standing government policy, we get exclusively christian holidays. how is one violating the human rights code and the other not?
the university spokesperson stressed that "students on any religious background can ask to be excused from class for a religious holiday." but still... it's missing class! i learned very early on in my post-secondary education career that being in class is essential. fine, you can have the day off but your class isn't going to wait for you... they're moving on without you.
similar things happen once out of school as well! you can excuse yourself from work for any religious holiday but at your own cost - you have to use up a vacation day or go unpaid for that day.
people get outraged when someone wants a day off for religious reasons but i think people would be even more outraged if they found out that the government decided that having holidays for easter and christmas violated the human rights code and we'd be going to work on those days.
discuss.
Monday, March 31, 2008
is that really fair?
for someone to looks this gorgeous after delivering a baby? pristine makeup and not a drop of sweat... it's like she delivered a grape instead of a fully formed human being!
TODAY contributer and celebrity chef delivers first child in Los Angeles
field trip!
"A Voyage Through The Human Body"
Netherlands Attraction Is Part Amusement Park, Part Health Education Museum
welcome to Oegstgeest in the netherlands... home of the Corpus Museum - a 7-story interactive museum featuring an 115-foot high seated human figure.
sounds pretty interesting... anyone up for a little trip?
Netherlands Attraction Is Part Amusement Park, Part Health Education Museum
welcome to Oegstgeest in the netherlands... home of the Corpus Museum - a 7-story interactive museum featuring an 115-foot high seated human figure.
sounds pretty interesting... anyone up for a little trip?
more griping about the office
it doesn't happen very often but... i was wrong... (ha! i could barely write that! i tried like 4 times and the first 3 times it came out "wring")
the new new guy (i.e. the co-op student) arrived today and he's NOT sitting down the aisle as i previously thought - he took over the old new guy's spot that's literally in my cubicle! and he seems like quite the eager beaver too so i'm going to have to (ugh) set an example and be all busy-like with ACTUAL WORK!
thankfully, the co-op is only for a month. a month? what the hell good is that? i mena, yay for me but seriously... what can you pick up in a month? this kid (HA!) only has to do a co-op for a month to finish off his CET or something like that. sounds way too simple to me... alas... that is what is what.
in other news, my office is moving! more details on that later...
the new new guy (i.e. the co-op student) arrived today and he's NOT sitting down the aisle as i previously thought - he took over the old new guy's spot that's literally in my cubicle! and he seems like quite the eager beaver too so i'm going to have to (ugh) set an example and be all busy-like with ACTUAL WORK!
thankfully, the co-op is only for a month. a month? what the hell good is that? i mena, yay for me but seriously... what can you pick up in a month? this kid (HA!) only has to do a co-op for a month to finish off his CET or something like that. sounds way too simple to me... alas... that is what is what.
in other news, my office is moving! more details on that later...
Friday, March 28, 2008
lights out!
what: EARTH HOUR ~ turn your lights off for an hour, save the world. it's just that simple!when: saturday march 29, 8-9 PM
where: all across the globe
why: to raise awareness of climate change
you are all totally invited and you'd be labelled a square if you didn't come.
for more information and to sign up: http://www.earthhourus.org/
so it's not my fault!
good news!
it's not your fault that your fat (and possibly insane)!!!
the guilty party is god! well, if you believe in that sort of thing... it's our internal programming that makes us fat! well, that and possibly the fact that you're rotting on the inside...
research by duke university has concluded that "the brain has a 'sixth sense' that can detect dead people!" kidding. what they actaully said was that it "can detect calories in food without benefit of taste or smell."
more concerning is the fact that "the parts of the brain programmed to sense when calories are being consumed is loaced in one of its pleasure centres." good. my brain loves it when i consume high calorie foods and rewards me for doing it with a big ol' shot of dopamine! dieting doesn't get any easier than that!
read more: "Want fries with that? Blame your brain"
it's not your fault that your fat (and possibly insane)!!!
the guilty party is god! well, if you believe in that sort of thing... it's our internal programming that makes us fat! well, that and possibly the fact that you're rotting on the inside...
research by duke university has concluded that "the brain has a 'sixth sense' that can detect dead people!" kidding. what they actaully said was that it "can detect calories in food without benefit of taste or smell."
more concerning is the fact that "the parts of the brain programmed to sense when calories are being consumed is loaced in one of its pleasure centres." good. my brain loves it when i consume high calorie foods and rewards me for doing it with a big ol' shot of dopamine! dieting doesn't get any easier than that!
read more: "Want fries with that? Blame your brain"
wait... what?
"Scientists, origami maters to launch paper craft from space"
huh? you're going to have to repeat that for me because last time my ears were all full of disbelief.
how did this make news? i mean, the entire thing sounds like it was written as a joke... they go on and on about this little paper shuttle being tested in a wind tunnel, and how it'll return to earth, etc. and folding the perfect space craft? if you ask me, it just sounds insane!
i dunno... maybe it's just friday and my brain is unable to process this but it just sounds so imaginary and impossible.
huh? you're going to have to repeat that for me because last time my ears were all full of disbelief.
how did this make news? i mean, the entire thing sounds like it was written as a joke... they go on and on about this little paper shuttle being tested in a wind tunnel, and how it'll return to earth, etc. and folding the perfect space craft? if you ask me, it just sounds insane!
i dunno... maybe it's just friday and my brain is unable to process this but it just sounds so imaginary and impossible.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
in need of rest for my weary head
so it was 5 minutes before it was time to go home... and here's me packing up all my stuff, turning off the computer, organizing the files on my desk into neat little pile, getting ready to blow this popsicle stand like a higgh-class prostitue when my vision corrected itself and i realized it was only 3:58 and definitely NOT time to go home yet!
how depressing is that? relief at it being time to go home being dashed by that excruciating extra hour that suddenly materialized out of no where. i think i might just put my head down on my desk and see if i can wait out the rest of the day without anyone bugging me.
how depressing is that? relief at it being time to go home being dashed by that excruciating extra hour that suddenly materialized out of no where. i think i might just put my head down on my desk and see if i can wait out the rest of the day without anyone bugging me.
McObituary
his name was herb peterson and he created the Egg McMuffin.
and how horrible am i that my fisrt thought about when i saw this story was "i could reeeally go for one of those right now!" i can actually taste it. in my mouth. right now. thank god it's after serving period for breakfast or i might have wiped an entire mcdonald's out of their daily supply of mcmuffins. don't judge me!
just look at it!
is your mouth watering? i bet you can smell it THROUGH the computer screen! i know what everyone's having for breakfast tomorrow morning!
i had a sausage mcmuffin not too long ago and i wasn't sure whether to feel good or bad about the fact that it wasn't swimming in butter and grease. on the one hand - yay! healthier for you. on the other hand - boo! i'm getting ripped off! this sucker was supposed to have at least $4 worth of better on it!
that's just perfect...
so not only am i fat but that also apparently makes me crazy.
"Middle-aged spare tire linked to dementia"
ok, so i'm not exactly middle-aged... but still, this is something fun to look forward too...
"A long-term study of more than 6,000 people found that those with the highest amount of abdominal fat in their 40s had about triple the risk of developing dementia than those with the lowest amount of fat around their mid-sections."
they probably went crazy trying to conform to society's concept of beauty. constantly being worried about you appearance and what people think of you is enough to drive anyone crazy! especially if that person has so-called imperfections like a little extra weight in the mid-section.
and what's with the 40s being "middle-aged"? let's say they're saying 45 is middle-aged... who lives to be 90 anymore??? you really hit middle-aged in your 30s! like let's say 37. i bet that made a few people a little more depressed today!
"Middle-aged spare tire linked to dementia"
ok, so i'm not exactly middle-aged... but still, this is something fun to look forward too...
"A long-term study of more than 6,000 people found that those with the highest amount of abdominal fat in their 40s had about triple the risk of developing dementia than those with the lowest amount of fat around their mid-sections."
they probably went crazy trying to conform to society's concept of beauty. constantly being worried about you appearance and what people think of you is enough to drive anyone crazy! especially if that person has so-called imperfections like a little extra weight in the mid-section.
and what's with the 40s being "middle-aged"? let's say they're saying 45 is middle-aged... who lives to be 90 anymore??? you really hit middle-aged in your 30s! like let's say 37. i bet that made a few people a little more depressed today!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
gold medal of nerd-itude
because it interests me:
"The 10 biggest cities of 2025"
i kinda almost wish this was a full-blown paper instead of just a news article.
it's short and (not so) sweet in that it gives you a little info on the situation without blowing a microchip in your brain... but i want more! brain hungry!
"The 10 biggest cities of 2025"
i kinda almost wish this was a full-blown paper instead of just a news article.
it's short and (not so) sweet in that it gives you a little info on the situation without blowing a microchip in your brain... but i want more! brain hungry!
in a feat of unparalleled intelligence...
i wore 2 different stockings to work today.
[pause for applause]
you may or may not know that i am not a fan of wearing socks or shoes - my feet feel all confined and claustrophobic. make no mistake, i love shoes; i just don't love wearing them. but i abide my society's notion of what's decent and wear them in public.
when i'm at work, i usually remove my shoes and stow them for safe keeping, leaving my toes to blissfully wiggle free even if they are still encased in socks or stockings. (i was probably a hippie in my last life...)
anyhoo, today when i looked down at my feet after taking off my shoes it obvious that my stockings did not match... but hey, they both looked black this morning when i put them on! alas, one is opaque and the other is shear... not my free wiggling toes are cowering beneath my desk lest they be seen and judged by my co-workers.
[pause for applause]
you may or may not know that i am not a fan of wearing socks or shoes - my feet feel all confined and claustrophobic. make no mistake, i love shoes; i just don't love wearing them. but i abide my society's notion of what's decent and wear them in public.
when i'm at work, i usually remove my shoes and stow them for safe keeping, leaving my toes to blissfully wiggle free even if they are still encased in socks or stockings. (i was probably a hippie in my last life...)
anyhoo, today when i looked down at my feet after taking off my shoes it obvious that my stockings did not match... but hey, they both looked black this morning when i put them on! alas, one is opaque and the other is shear... not my free wiggling toes are cowering beneath my desk lest they be seen and judged by my co-workers.
speaking of the foo fighters...
it was announced yesterday that the foos and OASIS are now officially on the bill for the 2008 virgin festival in toronto!
foo fighters AND oasis? that's insane!
other acts already confirmed include:
bloc party
stereophonics
the weakerthans
the constantines
go to virginfestival.ca for more venues and details.
foo fighters AND oasis? that's insane!
other acts already confirmed include:
bloc party
stereophonics
the weakerthans
the constantines
go to virginfestival.ca for more venues and details.
an intimate night with the foo fighters
and 20,000 other fans!
i wanted to post this much earlier in the week but both my camera and computer were being retarded and refusing to interact with each other... but better late than never, right?
i wanted to post this much earlier in the week but both my camera and computer were being retarded and refusing to interact with each other... but better late than never, right?
so on saturday night, myself and a select group of possibly the coolest people ever (+ 20,000 or so other people) headed down to the ACC to catch some foo fighting action. and it was pretty f*cking awesome!
i couldn't believe the amount of energy dave grohl & co. put into their performance! it's absolutely unbelievable. and to be putting that out there for everyone, running the length of the stage over and over, rocking out, and then STILL sounding fantastic? kick-ass rock and roll! i've never heard a band sound so good in concert! i was entertained the entire time.
and oh yeah... did i mention that mother f*cking RUSH was there?!? yeah, well they were!
read more about the show: "The Foos just wanna have fun"
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
morphology
it drives me crazy to talk about this useless deadhead (she deserves as little publicity as possible) but there is something driving me crazy about her that i just need to get off my chest!
a little while ago (i forget where or when exactly) i read something about rumer willis turning into pete wentz! and now everytime i see a picture of her it's all i can think of! it's driving me insane! all i can think is she DOES look like him! well, at least old pete wentz before he started banging nosejob simpson and get all dirty and unpretty.
what's your say on the look-a-like-ed-ness?
a little while ago (i forget where or when exactly) i read something about rumer willis turning into pete wentz! and now everytime i see a picture of her it's all i can think of! it's driving me insane! all i can think is she DOES look like him! well, at least old pete wentz before he started banging nosejob simpson and get all dirty and unpretty.
what's your say on the look-a-like-ed-ness?
going for gold
"Flurries could make winter 3rd snowiest"
go blow it out your ass! this is retarded!
winter is officially over according to the calendar so quite it with the cold and snow already! i'm getting twitchy eye just thinking about more snow.
it was a GREAT (can you smell the sarcasm? is it dripping from your monitor?) practical joke yesterday when i had to clear off my car but once is enough, ok?
take your mother-f*cking snow and go to antactica... i hear the ice and snow there is melting - they'd appreciate some more.
this winter's accumulation, including yesterday's dusting, is sitting at 189 cm...
here's the shake down of the top 3:
3. 1964-65 --> 190.6 cm
2. 1949-50 --> 196.4 cm
and the big winner... or loser... however you want to look at it...
1. 1938-39 --> 207.4 cm
with the projected snow for today and overnight into tomorrow, looks like we'll at least capture the bronze medal.
go blow it out your ass! this is retarded!
winter is officially over according to the calendar so quite it with the cold and snow already! i'm getting twitchy eye just thinking about more snow.
it was a GREAT (can you smell the sarcasm? is it dripping from your monitor?) practical joke yesterday when i had to clear off my car but once is enough, ok?
take your mother-f*cking snow and go to antactica... i hear the ice and snow there is melting - they'd appreciate some more.
this winter's accumulation, including yesterday's dusting, is sitting at 189 cm...
here's the shake down of the top 3:
3. 1964-65 --> 190.6 cm
2. 1949-50 --> 196.4 cm
and the big winner... or loser... however you want to look at it...
1. 1938-39 --> 207.4 cm
with the projected snow for today and overnight into tomorrow, looks like we'll at least capture the bronze medal.
le sigh...
i'm heistant to even bring stuff like this to the table because celebrities shouldn't gain notirity for breaking the law and getting away with it butttttt...
say hello to Celebrity DUI!!!
seriously, i don't know what's wrong with these people... most of them have money! take a lime, hire a taxi, whatever! just don't climb into your car! you've seen all your friends get busted, why would you want to go and do it too? moths to a flame? it gets your name back in the rags? and then you can go on dancing with the stars and EVERYONE can see how well your rehab is going and then maybe, just maybe you can get back into the business... christ, i know you love your car SOOOOOO much and driving it make you look like a superstar but you can get just as much publicity from just falling down drunk (see tara reid) as driving the wrong way down a freeway.
and sweet baby jesus, if us regular folk got caught doing this shit (3rd DUI, drug possession, leaving the scene, etc.) it would literally be the end of our lives but you get to go about your business like nothing happened... AND PEOPLE WILL STILL HIRE YOU! letting you off with a slap on the wrist because all the good you do for the world balances out with that one time you rolled your car with your kids in the back seat? yeah, that sounds about right. oh it's just kids being kids! they don't know any better!
almost completely off topic but doesn't busta rhymes look a little hot in this picture? just a little? just me?
say hello to Celebrity DUI!!!
seriously, i don't know what's wrong with these people... most of them have money! take a lime, hire a taxi, whatever! just don't climb into your car! you've seen all your friends get busted, why would you want to go and do it too? moths to a flame? it gets your name back in the rags? and then you can go on dancing with the stars and EVERYONE can see how well your rehab is going and then maybe, just maybe you can get back into the business... christ, i know you love your car SOOOOOO much and driving it make you look like a superstar but you can get just as much publicity from just falling down drunk (see tara reid) as driving the wrong way down a freeway.
and sweet baby jesus, if us regular folk got caught doing this shit (3rd DUI, drug possession, leaving the scene, etc.) it would literally be the end of our lives but you get to go about your business like nothing happened... AND PEOPLE WILL STILL HIRE YOU! letting you off with a slap on the wrist because all the good you do for the world balances out with that one time you rolled your car with your kids in the back seat? yeah, that sounds about right. oh it's just kids being kids! they don't know any better!
almost completely off topic but doesn't busta rhymes look a little hot in this picture? just a little? just me?
Monday, March 24, 2008
S-M-R-T blonde
"I love Africa in general - South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries." ~ Paris Hilton
[source]
just in case you were curious (or stupid) here's a list of African Countries to help sort this mess out.
[source]
just in case you were curious (or stupid) here's a list of African Countries to help sort this mess out.
pictured above is the henry ford museum in michigan.
keeping a-breast of things
did you know?
due to air bubbles in the implant shell of brest implants, women with them who fly or scuba dive may hear and feel gurgling from their breasts for up to two days!
[source]
due to air bubbles in the implant shell of brest implants, women with them who fly or scuba dive may hear and feel gurgling from their breasts for up to two days!
[source]
very funny...
but not like ha ha funny... more of the drippingly scarcastic type of funny...
great april fool's joke, morther nature! too bad you're more than a week early!
are you serious? snow? on MY car? THIS morning?
i am not at all impressed.
you just made my list.
great april fool's joke, morther nature! too bad you're more than a week early!
are you serious? snow? on MY car? THIS morning?
i am not at all impressed.
you just made my list.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
the butterfly lounge
it DOES exist!!!
and there are LOTS of big laaaaaadeeeeees!
at first i thought that THIS couldn't possibly be real... photoshop or something... please god! let it be photoshop because otherwise i think i'm going to be needing a new set of retinas.
but then, THEN, i did a little research (don't ask why) and it's TRUE! horrifyingly true!
thebiggirlclub.com
and the pictures are just something else...
and just in case you decided to fight temptation and NOT give into your morbid curiosity, i've included a picture:
albeit not in full size... it's big enough already, thanks.
i blame this entirely on mika.
and there are LOTS of big laaaaaadeeeeees!
at first i thought that THIS couldn't possibly be real... photoshop or something... please god! let it be photoshop because otherwise i think i'm going to be needing a new set of retinas.
but then, THEN, i did a little research (don't ask why) and it's TRUE! horrifyingly true!
thebiggirlclub.com
and the pictures are just something else...
and just in case you decided to fight temptation and NOT give into your morbid curiosity, i've included a picture:
albeit not in full size... it's big enough already, thanks.
i blame this entirely on mika.
office ka-shuffle
so the new guy (read about him here, here and here) is moving away from technically being in my cubicle (my one-sided cubicle... so not really like a cube... more like a wall-icle) and it's so exciting... he's moving all the way around the corner!
and i've heard tell about a student coming here to do his piddly 1 month co-op for college after he graduates in april. but not to worry, i'm not going to be sitting back-to-back with him when he comes - he's got a workspace down the way a little.
here's a lovely little diagram for you to help you visualize our arrangement:
(not to scale...)
and i've heard tell about a student coming here to do his piddly 1 month co-op for college after he graduates in april. but not to worry, i'm not going to be sitting back-to-back with him when he comes - he's got a workspace down the way a little.
here's a lovely little diagram for you to help you visualize our arrangement:
(not to scale...)
SERIOUSLY?
"Winter not over, forecast warn"
are you freaking kidding me?? this is retarded... the snow is finally starting to melt and now you're telling me there is MORE snow and cold on the way? this has to be some sort of joke. am i getting punk'd? is this an episode of pop fiction? (sorry for all the ashton kutcher references but this just seems like something a dick like him, mind you a hot dick, would do to people) seriously!
and i'm definitely not the only one who's barely clinging to their sanity over this seasonal screw over:
An Open Letter to Mother Nature
Dear Bitch,
Are you for real?
are you freaking kidding me?? this is retarded... the snow is finally starting to melt and now you're telling me there is MORE snow and cold on the way? this has to be some sort of joke. am i getting punk'd? is this an episode of pop fiction? (sorry for all the ashton kutcher references but this just seems like something a dick like him, mind you a hot dick, would do to people) seriously!
and i'm definitely not the only one who's barely clinging to their sanity over this seasonal screw over:
An Open Letter to Mother Nature
Dear Bitch,
Are you for real?
FINALLY!
i don't know why this annoying eyesore wasn't voted off the very first week but it doesn't matter anymore because she's gone! gone gone GONE!
amanda "skunk head" overmyer was voted off american idol last night.
you know what the worst part is? that i actually care about this american idol shit.
i'm not a habitual watcher but my sister was home a little while ago when this 'season' started and she was watching it. and then, when she was gone, it came on after something else we were watching and we were just too lazy to change the channel. and then there was the whole male stripper thing... just tell me who's pre-determined to win and let's be over with it!
amanda "skunk head" overmyer was voted off american idol last night.
you know what the worst part is? that i actually care about this american idol shit.
i'm not a habitual watcher but my sister was home a little while ago when this 'season' started and she was watching it. and then, when she was gone, it came on after something else we were watching and we were just too lazy to change the channel. and then there was the whole male stripper thing... just tell me who's pre-determined to win and let's be over with it!
self esteem boost
whatever you think about yourself, you have to admit you look better than these girls:
[source]
i'm all for loving what you've got and flaunting it but sometimes i think some people should have the decency to flaunt it in the privacy of their own homes.
get yourself to the butterfly lounge
and find yourself a big laaaaadeee...
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
2008: a life odyssey
sadly, author Arthur C. Clarke passed away yesterday at his home in sri lanka.
he was 90.
he's works include:
Childhood's End, 1953
The City and The Stars, 1956
The Nine Billion Names of God, 1967
Rendezvous with Rama, 1973
Imperial Earth, 1975
The Song of Distant Earth, 1986
and of course (along with Stanley Kubrick) 2001: A Space Odyssey and 3 sequels ending with 3001: The Final Odyssey which he wrote when he was 79.
he was 90.
he's works include:
Childhood's End, 1953
The City and The Stars, 1956
The Nine Billion Names of God, 1967
Rendezvous with Rama, 1973
Imperial Earth, 1975
The Song of Distant Earth, 1986
and of course (along with Stanley Kubrick) 2001: A Space Odyssey and 3 sequels ending with 3001: The Final Odyssey which he wrote when he was 79.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
the anti-hero
work is boring (that's nothing new) but i have found a site where i can watch movie trailers that actually isn't yet blocked by the net nanny!
my question to you: what's with all the non-typical casting for super heroes?? used to be all you needed was to be young and hot to play a comic book character... (what other reason would people have for letting jessica "no talent, only boobs" alba play susan storm?) but i guess now the movie people are looking to appeal to somewhat of an older audience. for example: robert downey jr. as iron man? ed norton as the incredible hulk? interesting...
i'm actually very interested to see Iron Man... think the trailer looks fantastic!
and the jolly green giant? not so interested... even though it starred the delicious eric bana, the first movie sorta put me off the whole green person franchise... i'm racist against green people; what can i say?
my question to you: what's with all the non-typical casting for super heroes?? used to be all you needed was to be young and hot to play a comic book character... (what other reason would people have for letting jessica "no talent, only boobs" alba play susan storm?) but i guess now the movie people are looking to appeal to somewhat of an older audience. for example: robert downey jr. as iron man? ed norton as the incredible hulk? interesting...
i'm actually very interested to see Iron Man... think the trailer looks fantastic!
and the jolly green giant? not so interested... even though it starred the delicious eric bana, the first movie sorta put me off the whole green person franchise... i'm racist against green people; what can i say?
why?
so they've decided to go ahead and make a live action movie from possible THE gayest cartoon of all time... Speed Racer coming soon to a theater near you!
if you watch the trailer, it looks like the pile of shit that was Batman & Robin... all neon colours, unintentional camp, and bad acting.
my question is: how did such seemingly legit actors (emile hirsch, christina ricci, susan sarandon) get roped into such a disaster??
i'm predicting this thing is gonna tank big time... but at least they got the phallic car right!
pictured above is the Madrid Barajas International Airport
what's in a name?
"Miley Cyrus name change official"
first of all, i distinctly remember reading this exact story months ago... little miss hannah montana changes her name! from destiny hope cyrus (i pity children with hippie parents...) to miley ray cyrus... it would have been SOOO much better if she'd actaully changed it to hannah montana! also, it confounds me how she can sell DVDs and shit starring miley cyrus AND hannah montana! not to burst anyone's bubble but... THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON!!! the point remains, jam! showbiz is officially behind the times.
second, and possibly most importantly, could they have found a less attractive picture of miz ray cyrus to use for this story?
yikes!
but there is good news... the caption under the photo was priceless: "Smile, Miley: Your Destiny is defunct, and Hope is lost."
first of all, i distinctly remember reading this exact story months ago... little miss hannah montana changes her name! from destiny hope cyrus (i pity children with hippie parents...) to miley ray cyrus... it would have been SOOO much better if she'd actaully changed it to hannah montana! also, it confounds me how she can sell DVDs and shit starring miley cyrus AND hannah montana! not to burst anyone's bubble but... THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON!!! the point remains, jam! showbiz is officially behind the times.
second, and possibly most importantly, could they have found a less attractive picture of miz ray cyrus to use for this story?
yikes!but there is good news... the caption under the photo was priceless: "Smile, Miley: Your Destiny is defunct, and Hope is lost."
Monday, March 17, 2008
mindless drivel
i don't know about everyone else but this monday is totally blowing my mind and not in a good way... the less thinking the better.
celebrity gossip is good for not thinking, right? just vapid clap-trap? yeah... perfect.
dull your mind on jam!'s list of Celebrity Scandals
surprises:
i was too young to remember, thank god, but back in 1989 prince charles was telling his pretty horsie camilla about how he wanted to be her tampon... and I KNOW you probably didn't want to know that but if i had to find out, other people are going to have to know about it too so i don't suffer alone!
i never knew rob lowe was such a sleazy guy! sex with underage girls... tisk, tisk! but he's not the only one who's got the flavour of jail bait...
celebrity gossip is good for not thinking, right? just vapid clap-trap? yeah... perfect.
dull your mind on jam!'s list of Celebrity Scandals
surprises:
i was too young to remember, thank god, but back in 1989 prince charles was telling his pretty horsie camilla about how he wanted to be her tampon... and I KNOW you probably didn't want to know that but if i had to find out, other people are going to have to know about it too so i don't suffer alone!
i never knew rob lowe was such a sleazy guy! sex with underage girls... tisk, tisk! but he's not the only one who's got the flavour of jail bait...
all in the family
thursday night in toronto one JOHN DAVID BLACK was in an auto accident in the downtown core...
sadly (and probably fortunately) my family never does anything as exciting as fleeing the scene of an accident... it was really jonathan david black, son of mastermind of idiocy conrad black.
but let us not ever say our names are not in the news!
sadly (and probably fortunately) my family never does anything as exciting as fleeing the scene of an accident... it was really jonathan david black, son of mastermind of idiocy conrad black.
but let us not ever say our names are not in the news!
Friday, March 14, 2008
are you freaking kidding me?
ok, i knew i lived in a relatively small town but i thought i lived in a relatively small town in CANANDA not the self-important US of A...
on the way home from work today, crossing one of the few and very busy (especially during 'rush hour' AND on a friday) bridges across the highway there were several cars and even a fire truck blocking a lane of the bridge! accident? no... nothing as serious as that. they were all out standing and waving at traffic with giant canadian flags...
it has something to do the renaming of of portions of the 401 as 'highway of heroes' and welcoming soldiers home. i mean yay for our brave soldiers but is something like that really necessary? do we really want to be as fanatic about that sort of thing as the crazies south of the border?
on another yet related topic, what's the deal with the highway exits around here?? why do they dump out on the less populated side of the highway? you know, the side of the highway where there is mostly lake? so that a majority of the people who exit the highway have to one of the 3 bridges (only 3!) that cross and at home time they're always packed! stupid, stupid, STUPID!
and on top of everything, i had to see a dead bird on the way home. not like a splattered one, which is for some reason less appaling, but a whole one! just lying there in the middle of the road. and i'm all like what's that thing in the middle of the road? and i look closer and then it was like eep! omg that's a bird!
on the way home from work today, crossing one of the few and very busy (especially during 'rush hour' AND on a friday) bridges across the highway there were several cars and even a fire truck blocking a lane of the bridge! accident? no... nothing as serious as that. they were all out standing and waving at traffic with giant canadian flags...
it has something to do the renaming of of portions of the 401 as 'highway of heroes' and welcoming soldiers home. i mean yay for our brave soldiers but is something like that really necessary? do we really want to be as fanatic about that sort of thing as the crazies south of the border?
on another yet related topic, what's the deal with the highway exits around here?? why do they dump out on the less populated side of the highway? you know, the side of the highway where there is mostly lake? so that a majority of the people who exit the highway have to one of the 3 bridges (only 3!) that cross and at home time they're always packed! stupid, stupid, STUPID!
and on top of everything, i had to see a dead bird on the way home. not like a splattered one, which is for some reason less appaling, but a whole one! just lying there in the middle of the road. and i'm all like what's that thing in the middle of the road? and i look closer and then it was like eep! omg that's a bird!
fugtastic
raven-symone doesn't so much look like she's wearing a bedazzled pillow case as she looks like she is actually a pillow.
everything about this 'ensemble' to me says... big.
big hair. big shirt. big sleeves. big print.
which leads me to think big legs, big face, BIG GIRL.
and in hollywood's sardine tin where you have to be about yeh big (an actual measurement, go look it up. while you're at it, look up gullible too.) around the midsection in order to fit in (pun intended) i don't want to go around bashing girls who aren't afraid to embrace their (gasp!) curves.
i think next time it should be, and i hope raven agrees with me on this one, big personality and everything else not so big.
[source]
so much space junk
bwahahahahahaha...
the last part of canada's contribution to the international space station is a hunk of junk! DEXTRE (the 'hand' part of the Canadarm) is in danger of being damaged due to the cold!
well not really... the problem is with putting it together.
after spending $200 million, they're figuring the problem is "a design flaw in the temporary cable that is supposed to provide power to Dextre until it is fully assembled." without the cable, there is no power to heat the joints and electronics in the robot and being left in the cold for days could critically damage it.
a design flaw.
$200 mil down the crapper because of a silly little cable.
excellent.
A+
MENSA
the last part of canada's contribution to the international space station is a hunk of junk! DEXTRE (the 'hand' part of the Canadarm) is in danger of being damaged due to the cold!
well not really... the problem is with putting it together.
after spending $200 million, they're figuring the problem is "a design flaw in the temporary cable that is supposed to provide power to Dextre until it is fully assembled." without the cable, there is no power to heat the joints and electronics in the robot and being left in the cold for days could critically damage it.
a design flaw.
$200 mil down the crapper because of a silly little cable.
excellent.
A+
MENSA
a tale of 2 movies
or maybe it's the same movie... who knows!
these 2 reviewers have obviously seen 2 separate version of the same movie...
movie: Horton Hears a Who!
TheStar.com movie critic Peter Howell gave the movie a delightful and very seuss-like send up and a 4/4 on the star scale.
Liz Braun of Sun Media however gives it a giant raspberry to the face! "Dr. Seuss film a sad speck-tacle" and only 2 out of 5 stars... which is confusing because in actually reading the article, she has not that much bad stuff to say about the movie. hey liz, why don't you stop trying to figure out how the movie pertains to religion or "what angle in American politics was being played out" and just sit back and enjoy something whimsical.
these 2 reviewers have obviously seen 2 separate version of the same movie...
movie: Horton Hears a Who!
TheStar.com movie critic Peter Howell gave the movie a delightful and very seuss-like send up and a 4/4 on the star scale.
Liz Braun of Sun Media however gives it a giant raspberry to the face! "Dr. Seuss film a sad speck-tacle" and only 2 out of 5 stars... which is confusing because in actually reading the article, she has not that much bad stuff to say about the movie. hey liz, why don't you stop trying to figure out how the movie pertains to religion or "what angle in American politics was being played out" and just sit back and enjoy something whimsical.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
harry potter & the money grubbing stars
"2 movies from final Harry Potter book"in the interests of making more money for all involved, production has decided to split the final harry potter book over 2 movies...
well actually, they're claiming artistic integrity or something like that. they say elements can't be removed from the story and they need 2 movies to get in all the important details.
so we're stuck sitting here waiting until may 2011 to see the end of it all.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
sweet baby jesus!!!
somebody please save sweet baby jesus from being eaten by THIS:
it's wendy the muscular whippet!!!
her owner says she's really friendly but if i saw this dog coming down the street towards me (leashed or otherwise) i would be convinced that the end of the world was at hand and that i better find religion and repent all my sins.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
up in smoke
i’m sitting here and i think i might be going crazy or having a seizure or maybe both but i can smell this burning smell (either like melting plastic or the first time you turn your heater on in the winter… i can’t decide) and no one else seems to be bothered by it! i even asked if they could smell the burning and they said no. might it be in my head? like actually inside my head? my brain burning up from thinking to hard?
thoughts...
after 2 gorgeously melt-y days, i was looking around outside and i'm pretty sure it's going to be mid-june before the last of the snow melts away...
simply awesome...
there is no other way to describe juliette lewis' ensemble here... simply awesome. on anyone else it would be disasterous but since she's juilette freaking lewis she can totally carry this off!
i suggest all the girlies out there start dressing like this... for the good of the world!
[source]
i suggest all the girlies out there start dressing like this... for the good of the world!
[source]ps - what would have happen if this chick married brad pitt oh so many moons ago??
yummy gummies
getting carded
welcome to someecards.com!
if you're looking for something with a little different sentiment than most e-cards out there, this is the place for you. i might also suggest that your friends develop a good sense of humour before you send them this particular brand of e-annoyance...
there are cards for all occasions and they are all quite hilarious and often inappropriate or grossly inappropriate in polite society... perhaps that's why i like them so much?? i highly recommend these and hope to be getting one from each and every one of you two people who read my website.
speechless...
excerpts from "On Becoming a Woman"
circa 1950?
ps - there's more!
circa 1950?
i'm so glad i wasn't born 50 years earlier! this is just insane! we've come a long way and am i ever glad for it. click on the link - it's really worth going through if you have time... even if you just want to rile up you rightous indignation.
i even went and read the section on homosexuality and it just gives me the heeby-geebies! it's pretty bad... people can be so close minded.
ps - there's more!
Monday, March 10, 2008
e-mail snippets - part 3
Mon 3/10/2008 2:23PM
From: ME
To: a compassionate ear
RE: packing up one's life
But you see, I need my shoes… We are packing up stuff that we don’t necessarily need on a day-to-day basis. I know what you’re thinking - do we really need that stuff if we’re not using it on a day-to-day basis? The answer is YES! Because we’re overly sentimental pack rats. If I had only the stuff I really needed in my room, it would be sparse like a prison cell. Clothes, shoes, bed. But at chez Black, we practically breathe knick-knacks.
From: ME
To: a compassionate ear
RE: packing up one's life
But you see, I need my shoes… We are packing up stuff that we don’t necessarily need on a day-to-day basis. I know what you’re thinking - do we really need that stuff if we’re not using it on a day-to-day basis? The answer is YES! Because we’re overly sentimental pack rats. If I had only the stuff I really needed in my room, it would be sparse like a prison cell. Clothes, shoes, bed. But at chez Black, we practically breathe knick-knacks.
peeved
so i had all this other stuff lined up to post about but today blogger is being a total bitch who didn't get her coffee this morning and won't let me upload pictures... and these things wouldn't be nearly as fun without pictures!
hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. a day full of post and wondrous pictures!
hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. a day full of post and wondrous pictures!
crazy monday drivers!
as i was waiting to turn onto the main road on my way back to work after lunch, i see this doritos cube-type truck barrelling down the road in a somewhat erratic fashion. i thought maybe it was just dodging snow that had fallen down into the road...
nope. crazy drunk-ass driver! or something... cause this guy was just all over the road. when this guy was a child he was not one to colour inside the lines because as an adult, he doesn't seem to have the ability to stay in a lane... any lane! back and forth, back and forth... swerve-y swerve-y here, swerve-y swerve-y there. and then i had the luck to pull up next to him at a stop light (one of those red means stop, green means go deals) and we're sitting there, red light staring us in the face but as soon as the cars in the other direction had cleared, this idiot just goes! like it was a stop sign or something... and he continues his sketchy driving all the way to the highway where he gets on going westbound. so if you're headed out, beware of the looney doritos truck driver!
in other news, if it weren't for the snowbanks taller than me, i would swear it was a late spring day today! it's so freaking warm! the entire drive back to work while dodging bad drivers i had my window rolled down! i can hardly believe that not 2 days ago, it snowed for an entire day!
nope. crazy drunk-ass driver! or something... cause this guy was just all over the road. when this guy was a child he was not one to colour inside the lines because as an adult, he doesn't seem to have the ability to stay in a lane... any lane! back and forth, back and forth... swerve-y swerve-y here, swerve-y swerve-y there. and then i had the luck to pull up next to him at a stop light (one of those red means stop, green means go deals) and we're sitting there, red light staring us in the face but as soon as the cars in the other direction had cleared, this idiot just goes! like it was a stop sign or something... and he continues his sketchy driving all the way to the highway where he gets on going westbound. so if you're headed out, beware of the looney doritos truck driver!
in other news, if it weren't for the snowbanks taller than me, i would swear it was a late spring day today! it's so freaking warm! the entire drive back to work while dodging bad drivers i had my window rolled down! i can hardly believe that not 2 days ago, it snowed for an entire day!
letter writting - mar. 10 2008
dear new guy,
three things:
1) that foot tapping thing? the tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap noise you're foot makes? yeah. not endearing. more like eye-twitchingly annoying. i know i have my tics too but at least mine are internalized or inaudible.
2) my name is pronounced jenn-if-er, except run it all together. my name is, however, definitely NOT jenn-neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-fer as you seem to like to call me. it's like you think i have a three-name name. like betty sue-bob... it might just be something about you and english not being fully acquainted and i know there's nothing you can do about it but like the toe tap-tap-tap-tap thing, it annoys me to no end!
3) more on that english-as-a-second-language note... every sentence need not end with the words "thank you"... like "where is the bathroom, thank you?" or ""can you help me with this, thank you?" perhaps you think my name is thank you? in which case i can for give you for putting an elongated and unnecessary syllable in the middle of what i thought you were calling me.
elephants & english tutors,
jenn
three things:
1) that foot tapping thing? the tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap noise you're foot makes? yeah. not endearing. more like eye-twitchingly annoying. i know i have my tics too but at least mine are internalized or inaudible.
2) my name is pronounced jenn-if-er, except run it all together. my name is, however, definitely NOT jenn-neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-fer as you seem to like to call me. it's like you think i have a three-name name. like betty sue-bob... it might just be something about you and english not being fully acquainted and i know there's nothing you can do about it but like the toe tap-tap-tap-tap thing, it annoys me to no end!
3) more on that english-as-a-second-language note... every sentence need not end with the words "thank you"... like "where is the bathroom, thank you?" or ""can you help me with this, thank you?" perhaps you think my name is thank you? in which case i can for give you for putting an elongated and unnecessary syllable in the middle of what i thought you were calling me.
elephants & english tutors,
jenn
Friday, March 7, 2008
geriatrics
just now i took a paper out of a file and placed the file on the desk right in front of me. i did what i needed to with the paper and then went to grab the file from where it's normally stored only to (shockingly) not find it there! and in my head i'm like where the hell did the stupid file go??? it's ALWAY right here! it took me a good 15 seconds to realize that is was still sitting right in front of me on my desk where i had placed it not 3 minutes ago.
if you turned me on my side, i'm pretty sure brain soup would pour out my ears.
if you turned me on my side, i'm pretty sure brain soup would pour out my ears.
word of the day
cabal
noun
1. a secret, conspiratorial association of plotters or intriguers whose purpose is usually to bring about an overturn especially in public affairs
2. the schemes or plots of such an association
3. to form a cabal; to conspire; to intrigue; to plot
4. punks
noun
1. a secret, conspiratorial association of plotters or intriguers whose purpose is usually to bring about an overturn especially in public affairs
2. the schemes or plots of such an association
3. to form a cabal; to conspire; to intrigue; to plot
4. punks
over-achiever
"Eight-year-old passes law school entrance test"
way to go make us all look bad!
no wonder there are SO many lawyers out there... they're minting them right out of the womb these days!
way to go make us all look bad!
no wonder there are SO many lawyers out there... they're minting them right out of the womb these days!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
e-mail snippets - part 2
Tue 3/4/2008 8:18AM
From: ME
To: my renovation consultant
RE: the black's toilet disaster
We had quite the time just picking out a new carpet today at lunch. We decided on one colour and then while the carpet man was in the bathroom my mom had completely changed her mind and was trying to get us to weigh in on her new choice even though we had all already said that the other one would be perfect… And then she wants to paint while we’re at it too… I can only imagine how hard it’s going to be to pick from the bajillion colours of taupe paint chips she’s brought home. At night, I think my dad just goes down into the basement, curls up into a little ball and rocks back and forth.
I don’t know why we went and picked the floors first seeing as we have to paint first… And even before that we have to get the ceiling ripped out… But then there’s the conundrum of picking the paint to match the floor or picking the floor to match the paint… Even though we’ve only been browsing paint colours, I’m pretty sure we picked the new carpet to match the paint. So it’ll be carpet in the living room (No more pastel rose! Ugh… We finally moved the console TV to the basement this weekend and the carpet underneath it was the proper colour and was still all fluffy and not beaten down. We never had any expectations of keeping that other carpet clean when we moved in almost 17 years ago!!!), new linoleum (?) in both the leaky bathroom and the closet bathroom, hardwood in the front hall, and new carpet on both sets of stairs, the upstairs hall, and Arran’s and my bedrooms. So all that stuff in all those places has to go.
As my mom likes to say, the workmen that usually come to work for us have the Gizeppi complex. Little old Italian men… We had Gizeppi & Co. come and do our roof, Gizeppi & Friends did the roof & windows at my grandparent’s house… Even when people are having work done across the street there is no eye candy… Unless of course you’re into septuagenarian Italians… Maybe some good fortune will come out of all this and Gizeppi will send his grandsons.
From: ME
To: my renovation consultant
RE: the black's toilet disaster
We had quite the time just picking out a new carpet today at lunch. We decided on one colour and then while the carpet man was in the bathroom my mom had completely changed her mind and was trying to get us to weigh in on her new choice even though we had all already said that the other one would be perfect… And then she wants to paint while we’re at it too… I can only imagine how hard it’s going to be to pick from the bajillion colours of taupe paint chips she’s brought home. At night, I think my dad just goes down into the basement, curls up into a little ball and rocks back and forth.
I don’t know why we went and picked the floors first seeing as we have to paint first… And even before that we have to get the ceiling ripped out… But then there’s the conundrum of picking the paint to match the floor or picking the floor to match the paint… Even though we’ve only been browsing paint colours, I’m pretty sure we picked the new carpet to match the paint. So it’ll be carpet in the living room (No more pastel rose! Ugh… We finally moved the console TV to the basement this weekend and the carpet underneath it was the proper colour and was still all fluffy and not beaten down. We never had any expectations of keeping that other carpet clean when we moved in almost 17 years ago!!!), new linoleum (?) in both the leaky bathroom and the closet bathroom, hardwood in the front hall, and new carpet on both sets of stairs, the upstairs hall, and Arran’s and my bedrooms. So all that stuff in all those places has to go.
As my mom likes to say, the workmen that usually come to work for us have the Gizeppi complex. Little old Italian men… We had Gizeppi & Co. come and do our roof, Gizeppi & Friends did the roof & windows at my grandparent’s house… Even when people are having work done across the street there is no eye candy… Unless of course you’re into septuagenarian Italians… Maybe some good fortune will come out of all this and Gizeppi will send his grandsons.
e-mail snippets - part 1
Wed 3/5/2008 2:25PM
From: ME
To: people who are not me
RE: the most wonderful time of the year
I got home at lunch today only to have the plow round the corner right before me and burry the entire bottom portion of our driveway… I finally figured out how we get so much snow there – they make 3 passes around the corner; one wide, one down the middle, and a third that does the tight corner and continues on down the road but not without dumping all the shit it picked up in the corner on ours and our neighbour’s driveways. Losers also managed to clip a snow bank at the end of the driveway and topple a giant snowball into one half of the driveway… A giant icy iceberg of a snowball… I kicked it a few times and nothing happened. It comes up to my waist! So instead of actually having lunch, I spent the hour digging out the bottom of the driveway.
But it wasn’t all bad… I was sitting back of the corner in the middle of the road wait for the plow to complete its 3 passes when a little prick of a person came up behind me, drove around me and was almost half way around the corner before she noticed the plow. Idiot had to jam on the brakes and quickly back up to avoid the plow reversing for its second pass. Like DUH!!! You didn’t think I was sitting there in the middle of the road for nothing do you? So now she’s trying to back up more because I was in the perfect spot to give the plow enough room and now she’s in front of me. I can’t backup any further because another car has come up behind me and being an observant person and seeing the plow, he’s patiently waiting right behind me. But this idiot is motioning for me to back up through her back window… But here’s me not going anywhere. So she thinks maybe I can’t see her so she rolls down her window and tries to wave me back. Nope, I can still see you and nope, I still can’t backup. During all this, the plow’s honking at her like a crazy goose. Finally she has to pull into one of the driveways on the street and when the plow is finally finished, me and the whole line of cars behind me truck merrily along on our ways before she can back out of the driveway again. Funny, funny, funny…
From: ME
To: people who are not me
RE: the most wonderful time of the year
I got home at lunch today only to have the plow round the corner right before me and burry the entire bottom portion of our driveway… I finally figured out how we get so much snow there – they make 3 passes around the corner; one wide, one down the middle, and a third that does the tight corner and continues on down the road but not without dumping all the shit it picked up in the corner on ours and our neighbour’s driveways. Losers also managed to clip a snow bank at the end of the driveway and topple a giant snowball into one half of the driveway… A giant icy iceberg of a snowball… I kicked it a few times and nothing happened. It comes up to my waist! So instead of actually having lunch, I spent the hour digging out the bottom of the driveway.
But it wasn’t all bad… I was sitting back of the corner in the middle of the road wait for the plow to complete its 3 passes when a little prick of a person came up behind me, drove around me and was almost half way around the corner before she noticed the plow. Idiot had to jam on the brakes and quickly back up to avoid the plow reversing for its second pass. Like DUH!!! You didn’t think I was sitting there in the middle of the road for nothing do you? So now she’s trying to back up more because I was in the perfect spot to give the plow enough room and now she’s in front of me. I can’t backup any further because another car has come up behind me and being an observant person and seeing the plow, he’s patiently waiting right behind me. But this idiot is motioning for me to back up through her back window… But here’s me not going anywhere. So she thinks maybe I can’t see her so she rolls down her window and tries to wave me back. Nope, I can still see you and nope, I still can’t backup. During all this, the plow’s honking at her like a crazy goose. Finally she has to pull into one of the driveways on the street and when the plow is finally finished, me and the whole line of cars behind me truck merrily along on our ways before she can back out of the driveway again. Funny, funny, funny…
drunk on life...
my friends and i have a well documented history of being not so mature as our ages would like you to believe...
a couple weeks ago we had an incident involving cheese, liquor, and the lighting of the cheese and liquor on fire. we were so convinced that this particular culinary technique was destined to burn down the house. unfortunately it was cold and snowy outside and the idea of communing with said cold and snow was rather unthinkable. here's a great idea --> let's wedge the sliding patio door open a smidge, someone hold the pan with the boozy cheese out there and someone else reach out and drop a match into it. once we returned to reality where, you know, geometry exists, we realized that wasn't going to work. we ended up opening up the garage and standing at the end holding the cheese as far away as arms would allow... and we had a bill & ted's excellent adventure moment when we actually lit it on fire because we were all like "WHOA!" be advised that this fiery cheese incident happened at a wine & cheese party... where there was lots of wine...
just the other day we startled ourselves with our maturity when we dissolved into uncontrollable laughter because the word "obscene" was just too damned funny! and this was at dinner... in a public place... with NO alcohol whatsoever!
a couple weeks ago we had an incident involving cheese, liquor, and the lighting of the cheese and liquor on fire. we were so convinced that this particular culinary technique was destined to burn down the house. unfortunately it was cold and snowy outside and the idea of communing with said cold and snow was rather unthinkable. here's a great idea --> let's wedge the sliding patio door open a smidge, someone hold the pan with the boozy cheese out there and someone else reach out and drop a match into it. once we returned to reality where, you know, geometry exists, we realized that wasn't going to work. we ended up opening up the garage and standing at the end holding the cheese as far away as arms would allow... and we had a bill & ted's excellent adventure moment when we actually lit it on fire because we were all like "WHOA!" be advised that this fiery cheese incident happened at a wine & cheese party... where there was lots of wine...
just the other day we startled ourselves with our maturity when we dissolved into uncontrollable laughter because the word "obscene" was just too damned funny! and this was at dinner... in a public place... with NO alcohol whatsoever!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
unprotected text
"Brick Land made Britain's first 'Safe Text' street with padded lampposts to prevent mobile phone injuries"
this can't be real... this has to be british humour kicking our gulible north amercian gulibility (is that a word? well, it is now...) straight in the nuts!
can imagine what a complete idiot/loser/hick (i just don't have the vocabulary strong enough to come up with the proper word here...) you'd feel like if you had to admit to people you fractured your skull because you were concentrating SO hard on all-important, life-giving texting??
now the next thing they're going to come up with is a way to keep these idiots from walking out into traffic and (thankfully) eliminating themselves from the gene pool...
[thanks davina]
toilet talk
a couple weeks ago, whoever is in charge of the bathrooms here at work switched to an EVEN MORE eco-friendly toilet paper... getting used to wiping one's ass with a slightly coarser sandpaper is not as hard as it sounds.
my question is: what is so environmentally unfriendly about putting a little cashmere into toilet paper??
also, how come it's always the no-name "economy" toilet paper that's the eco-friendly variety? you'd think the people peddling the toilet paper that feels like your wiping your ass with pristine white kittens would want to think about mother earth too, no?
my question is: what is so environmentally unfriendly about putting a little cashmere into toilet paper??
also, how come it's always the no-name "economy" toilet paper that's the eco-friendly variety? you'd think the people peddling the toilet paper that feels like your wiping your ass with pristine white kittens would want to think about mother earth too, no?
now why didn't i think of that???
"Cops: Man gets shot in arm to avoid work"
and here's me trying to catch the black plague to avoid work when i could have just had my friend discharge a firearm into part of my body!
and here's me trying to catch the black plague to avoid work when i could have just had my friend discharge a firearm into part of my body!
diet crashers
last night i had the delight to witness and mother & daughter tart combo come into a dairy queen, ask for the nutritional information card, look it over, and walk out of the restaurant.
it's a freaking dairy queen for crying out loud!!! what did you expect?!? if they had invented such a thing as calorie-free sinfulness, you would have heard about it!
my belly shook like a bowl full of belly as they muttered to each other "that was embarrassing" as they scurried away to go chew on some cardboard. by the by, the blizzard treat was delicious and my thighs will be thanking me for the extra layer of unhealthy when winter returns tonight --> forecast for MORE snow!
now, to totally ruin your diet...
cinnabon: "It's really a Cinna-bad"
did you know that a caramel pacanbon with 1100 calories, 141 g carbs, and 56 g fat is the same as a big mac with large fries??? delicious! let's make that a meal! big mag and yes i WOULD like fries with that for dinner and a cinnabon for dessert. the perfect meal for that date night you were planning!
ps - it turns out eating at wendy's might not be good for your health either...
it's a freaking dairy queen for crying out loud!!! what did you expect?!? if they had invented such a thing as calorie-free sinfulness, you would have heard about it!
my belly shook like a bowl full of belly as they muttered to each other "that was embarrassing" as they scurried away to go chew on some cardboard. by the by, the blizzard treat was delicious and my thighs will be thanking me for the extra layer of unhealthy when winter returns tonight --> forecast for MORE snow!
now, to totally ruin your diet...
cinnabon: "It's really a Cinna-bad"
did you know that a caramel pacanbon with 1100 calories, 141 g carbs, and 56 g fat is the same as a big mac with large fries??? delicious! let's make that a meal! big mag and yes i WOULD like fries with that for dinner and a cinnabon for dessert. the perfect meal for that date night you were planning!
ps - it turns out eating at wendy's might not be good for your health either...
they're heeeerrreee!
my new neighbour arrived this morning...
with english as a second language, all the having the interacting i was dreading might not be a problem. perhaps he'll just sit there with his head burried in his monitor and go about his business like a good employee?? that would also solve my problem of having to come up with some productivity...
apparently he's here to help us with our workload for a month or two... if i had known we had SO MUCH to do, i would have pulled up my socks and got to it! silly me!
with english as a second language, all the having the interacting i was dreading might not be a problem. perhaps he'll just sit there with his head burried in his monitor and go about his business like a good employee?? that would also solve my problem of having to come up with some productivity...
apparently he's here to help us with our workload for a month or two... if i had known we had SO MUCH to do, i would have pulled up my socks and got to it! silly me!
thoughts...
i'm SO happy my prestigious 400th post wasn't the one about the condom dress...
and hearty & hale pat on the back for me for having the dedication to this to make it so far. now, if only i could have this much dedication to my actual work...
and hearty & hale pat on the back for me for having the dedication to this to make it so far. now, if only i could have this much dedication to my actual work...
Monday, March 3, 2008
picture of the week - mar. 3
hmm...
the antithesis to the "come f*ck me" boots?
is this dress supposed to help you get laid or prevent it?
the antithesis to the "come f*ck me" boots?
is this dress supposed to help you get laid or prevent it?
just another manic monday...
after repeatedly knocking the same bottle of cream off the shelf every time i turned around and the rain starting as soon as i went to get out of my car i just KNEW it was going to be ONE OF THOSE DAYS... notice the bold, italics, and CAPS? you, one of THOSE days.
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