beware... if you don't like blood, guts, and gore, this isn't for you.
here is dose.ca's top 10 list of choice movie death scenes.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
celebrity look-alikes
is it just me or could katherine heigl and jessica simpson be twins?
i hate to compare anyone to jessica simpson but you have to admit they do look alarmingly similar...
from beyond the grave!!
dayum! here, for your consideration is forbes' list of the top earning dead celebrities of the year... the top 4 on this list are making as much if not more than the bottom 8 of the top wealthy tv celebs! i wonder how much the oprah corporation will still be making after she dies?
13. James Dean - $3.5 million
12. Bob Marley - $4 million
11. James Brown - $5 million
10. Steve McQueen - $6 million
9. Marilyn Monroe - $7 million
8. Tupac Shakur - $9 million
7. Throdor Geisel (Dr. Seuss) - $13 million
6. Andy Warhol - $15 million
5. Albert Einstein - $18 million
4. George Harrison - $22 million
3. Charles M. Schulz - $35 million
2. John Lennon - $44 million
1. Elvis Presley - $49 million
the king is at the top of his game in after-death earning! due in part to clever marketing schemes such as this:
scary cinema
another jam! showbiz gem - top 10 scariest movies
10. Jacob's Ladder (1990)
9. Changeling (1980)
8. Evil Dead (1981)
7. Halloween (1978)
6. Jaws (1975)
5. Friday the 13th (1980)
4. The Thing (1982)
3. The Omen (1976)
2. The Shining (1980)
1. The Exorcist (1973)
none of the modern day gore-fests (no, not an inconvinient truth) can compare to the frightfully well thought out horror/thrillers of yester-year... but you know, i've only seen 2 of these movies all the way through? halloween and jaws, that's it! i need to rent all of these and spend a weekend crapping my pants in fear!
10. Jacob's Ladder (1990)
9. Changeling (1980)
8. Evil Dead (1981)
7. Halloween (1978)
6. Jaws (1975)
5. Friday the 13th (1980)
4. The Thing (1982)
3. The Omen (1976)
2. The Shining (1980)
1. The Exorcist (1973)
none of the modern day gore-fests (no, not an inconvinient truth) can compare to the frightfully well thought out horror/thrillers of yester-year... but you know, i've only seen 2 of these movies all the way through? halloween and jaws, that's it! i need to rent all of these and spend a weekend crapping my pants in fear!
and now for some halloween fun!
here are jam! showbiz music department's top 13 halloween musical howls:
13) My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion
Want to send a shudder through everyone in hearing range? Just blast this sucker. Handy household hint: It can also be used to kill crabgrass and drive squirrels from your attic.
12) I Want Candy by Bow Wow Wow
No, it's not scary in the least. But you gotta have at least one song about the sweet stuff. And this nugget of compressed sugar will have you buzzing and bouncing off the walls.
11) Dead Skin Mask by Slayer
Almost any song by these death-metal thrashers will get the job done, but this tribute to legendary serial killer and cannibal Ed Gein seems apropos. Pass the ladyfingers.
10) Sweet Transvestite from Rocky Horror Picture Show
Some fans prefer doing The Time Warp, but Dr. Frank N. Furter's glammy, hammy tribute to Transsexual Transylvania will make you shiver with antici ... pation.
9) I Love the Dead by Alice Cooper
There are tons of Coop cuts that qualify -- Welcome to My Nightmare, Go to Hell and Dead Babies, to name three. But we have a rule: When in doubt, always go with the necrophilia anthem.
8) Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon
All together now: Ah-oooooooooooooooooooooooo! You gotta love Warren's cathartic howler. And his hair was perfect.
7) Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath
Ask not for whom the bell tolls -- it tolls for Ozzy's squandered brain cells. If you can't find this classic, Children of the Grave will do in a pinch.
6) I Put a Spell on You by Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Hawkins used to rise onstage from a coffin and perform with a bone through his nose. Maybe that's why this sounds so demented.
5) Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Oeyster Cult
There's a reason why this creepy rocker has been used in three Halloween films and countless other horror flicks. And that reason is, of course, the cowbell!
4) Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield
Everybody has a favourite horror soundtrack -- ours include Bernard Herrmann's stabbing Psycho strings and John Carpenter's one-finger Halloween synths. But for orchestral creepiness, you can't beat this opus from The Exorcist.
3) Thriller by Michael Jackson
You don't think Jacko is scary? Let him take your kids trick-or-treating. Plus, he's the only artist on this list whose nose might actually fall off if you touch it.
2) Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus
Clocking in at nine droning, spooktacular minutes, this minimalist goth masterpiece inspired a million teenage mood-swings and bad haircuts.
1) The Monster Mash by Bobby (Boris) Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers
More than 45 years after it was recorded, Pickett's novelty tune remains a perennial graveyard smash. To really get your freak on, check out Transylvania Twist and Blood Bank Blues too.
13) My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion
Want to send a shudder through everyone in hearing range? Just blast this sucker. Handy household hint: It can also be used to kill crabgrass and drive squirrels from your attic.
12) I Want Candy by Bow Wow Wow
No, it's not scary in the least. But you gotta have at least one song about the sweet stuff. And this nugget of compressed sugar will have you buzzing and bouncing off the walls.
11) Dead Skin Mask by Slayer
Almost any song by these death-metal thrashers will get the job done, but this tribute to legendary serial killer and cannibal Ed Gein seems apropos. Pass the ladyfingers.
10) Sweet Transvestite from Rocky Horror Picture Show
Some fans prefer doing The Time Warp, but Dr. Frank N. Furter's glammy, hammy tribute to Transsexual Transylvania will make you shiver with antici ... pation.
9) I Love the Dead by Alice Cooper
There are tons of Coop cuts that qualify -- Welcome to My Nightmare, Go to Hell and Dead Babies, to name three. But we have a rule: When in doubt, always go with the necrophilia anthem.
8) Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon
All together now: Ah-oooooooooooooooooooooooo! You gotta love Warren's cathartic howler. And his hair was perfect.
7) Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath
Ask not for whom the bell tolls -- it tolls for Ozzy's squandered brain cells. If you can't find this classic, Children of the Grave will do in a pinch.
6) I Put a Spell on You by Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Hawkins used to rise onstage from a coffin and perform with a bone through his nose. Maybe that's why this sounds so demented.
5) Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Oeyster Cult
There's a reason why this creepy rocker has been used in three Halloween films and countless other horror flicks. And that reason is, of course, the cowbell!
4) Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield
Everybody has a favourite horror soundtrack -- ours include Bernard Herrmann's stabbing Psycho strings and John Carpenter's one-finger Halloween synths. But for orchestral creepiness, you can't beat this opus from The Exorcist.
3) Thriller by Michael Jackson
You don't think Jacko is scary? Let him take your kids trick-or-treating. Plus, he's the only artist on this list whose nose might actually fall off if you touch it.
2) Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus
Clocking in at nine droning, spooktacular minutes, this minimalist goth masterpiece inspired a million teenage mood-swings and bad haircuts.
1) The Monster Mash by Bobby (Boris) Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers
More than 45 years after it was recorded, Pickett's novelty tune remains a perennial graveyard smash. To really get your freak on, check out Transylvania Twist and Blood Bank Blues too.
this is the story of a girl...
sure, shauna sand is... (no scratch that) was a playboy model... but that was like 10 years ago...
and sure, pamela anderson has made a life out of being a "playmate" but most girls do their thing and go back about their normal lives.
however, ms. sand is content to prance about like every living, breathing second of her life is a playboy photo shoot. does what she's wear here even constitute real clothing???
side note: hot damn! girl went to university! she's got a BofA in international business administration from the american university in paris! but instead of becoming a sexy, powerful business woman, she opted to put her ta-tas and yoo-hoo on display for a host of horny teenage boys to reach their happy place... shame...
and sure, pamela anderson has made a life out of being a "playmate" but most girls do their thing and go back about their normal lives.
however, ms. sand is content to prance about like every living, breathing second of her life is a playboy photo shoot. does what she's wear here even constitute real clothing???
side note: hot damn! girl went to university! she's got a BofA in international business administration from the american university in paris! but instead of becoming a sexy, powerful business woman, she opted to put her ta-tas and yoo-hoo on display for a host of horny teenage boys to reach their happy place... shame...
food fight!
"Man assults friend with pickles"
after telling his friend not to eat his pickles, the pickled man has pickles hurled at him...
the pickle eater/hurler also pulled a russell crowe/naomi campbell and beat the pickle owner with the phone when he tried to call the police!
this is just too strange for words... ah the south, strange transpiring do a'happen... wait... not in the south you say? in michigan? hmm...
after telling his friend not to eat his pickles, the pickled man has pickles hurled at him...
the pickle eater/hurler also pulled a russell crowe/naomi campbell and beat the pickle owner with the phone when he tried to call the police!
this is just too strange for words... ah the south, strange transpiring do a'happen... wait... not in the south you say? in michigan? hmm...
excuse me, i'm looking for some hot seamen...
"A Whore Matey!"
instead of getting a real costume, paris hilton just decides to go as herself (except with a hat!) this halloween...
somebody call child services
so remember before when i was all uppity about kim kardashian being something of a... (how shall we put this gently?) transparent whore? well apparently it runs in the family...
what kind of family has a stripper pole permanently installed in their living room???
and they've already started corupting the little ones! there's a video here of kendall and kylie (11 and 9 respectively) taping each other working the stipper pole and pretending to be on gils gone wild... seriously? this just gives me the icky-ickies all over!
what kind of family has a stripper pole permanently installed in their living room???
and they've already started corupting the little ones! there's a video here of kendall and kylie (11 and 9 respectively) taping each other working the stipper pole and pretending to be on gils gone wild... seriously? this just gives me the icky-ickies all over!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
report decries: too many reports!
"State report says Texas has too many reports"
it took 18 months and a whopping 668-page report for the texas state library & archives commission to figure out that they're wasting their money on useless reports... i'll just wait here a second and let that sink in...
a useless report about useless reports!!!
you know that irony thing i was talking about earlier? well this trumps it because it actually happened! beware, the world might be collapsing in on itself as you read this!
it took 18 months and a whopping 668-page report for the texas state library & archives commission to figure out that they're wasting their money on useless reports... i'll just wait here a second and let that sink in...
a useless report about useless reports!!!
you know that irony thing i was talking about earlier? well this trumps it because it actually happened! beware, the world might be collapsing in on itself as you read this!
human season officially open
if it's not dick cheney shooting at you, it might be your dog...
an iowa man is recovering from surgery after being shot by his dog. apparently, the hunter (hunted?) was only a metre from his leg when the dog stepped on the gun, tripping the trigger.
can you imagine if the dog's name was actually "trigger"? the irony would be so great, the world might implode!
an iowa man is recovering from surgery after being shot by his dog. apparently, the hunter (hunted?) was only a metre from his leg when the dog stepped on the gun, tripping the trigger.
can you imagine if the dog's name was actually "trigger"? the irony would be so great, the world might implode!
sugar rush in candyland
trick or treat?
"Let kids enjoy Halloween sugar rush"
It's no trick! As tomorrow's annual candy fest approaches, the experts say just let kids go for it
tips on how to get the kids (and you) eat less candy, suggestions for "healthy" halloween handouts (don't be surprised if your house gets egged...), expert advise, and making you feel bad about how you're raising your kids... it's all here!
"Let kids enjoy Halloween sugar rush"
It's no trick! As tomorrow's annual candy fest approaches, the experts say just let kids go for it
tips on how to get the kids (and you) eat less candy, suggestions for "healthy" halloween handouts (don't be surprised if your house gets egged...), expert advise, and making you feel bad about how you're raising your kids... it's all here!
le sigh...
so the "fragile at home" leafs blew another easy one last night and i think that's understating things a tad...
the blue & white got blown out of the water 7-1 by the one of the leagues's weakest offences - the washington capitals.
what the hell, man? seriously...
on paper, this team is golden... on the ice, everything goes to pot!
this year, did you guys just decide it was too much trouble to go to the playoffs? so you just thought you'd play like you were in the timbits hockey league - just playing for fun? well this isn't much fun, is it?? at least in the timbits league they don't keep score so you don't know how badly you were embarrassed!
for the love of f*ck! get it together!
the blue & white got blown out of the water 7-1 by the one of the leagues's weakest offences - the washington capitals.
what the hell, man? seriously...
on paper, this team is golden... on the ice, everything goes to pot!
this year, did you guys just decide it was too much trouble to go to the playoffs? so you just thought you'd play like you were in the timbits hockey league - just playing for fun? well this isn't much fun, is it?? at least in the timbits league they don't keep score so you don't know how badly you were embarrassed!
for the love of f*ck! get it together!
hop on the bitter boat!
alright... admittedly, i no longer have any love for the the 2 "performers" tiraded upon here but apparently someone fancies themselves a pretty pretentious little music snob. i'm talking to you thestar.com "pop music critic" ben rayner!! that's right! i'm calling you out!
fine, the albums suck... just say that. as a critic, you're supposed to critique not let your tastes in music fuel some seriously biased hating... admit it - if your crappy band somehow finaggled a record deal, you'd so do it even if the general public didn't want to hear it. putting out records for the sake of putting out records... it's what the music industry's all about!
fine, the albums suck... just say that. as a critic, you're supposed to critique not let your tastes in music fuel some seriously biased hating... admit it - if your crappy band somehow finaggled a record deal, you'd so do it even if the general public didn't want to hear it. putting out records for the sake of putting out records... it's what the music industry's all about!
Monday, October 29, 2007
jealous much?
the united states so wishes it was CANADA!
a new video that's part of a showy campaign promoting u.s. tourism & welcoming foreign visitors to america features the great north's horseshoe falls... they have 2 of their own waterfalls (american and bridal veil falls) on their own side and they choose to feature ours! it's even shot from the canadian side!
american tourism promoters: ignorant or jealous? you decide!
a new video that's part of a showy campaign promoting u.s. tourism & welcoming foreign visitors to america features the great north's horseshoe falls... they have 2 of their own waterfalls (american and bridal veil falls) on their own side and they choose to feature ours! it's even shot from the canadian side!
american tourism promoters: ignorant or jealous? you decide!
not too shabby for a couple of blokes from the green isle
"U2 makes $30M last year"
well, actually... that's only $7.5M each... pocket change for the truly successful!
come on, oprah makes a whopping $260M all on her own!
well, actually... that's only $7.5M each... pocket change for the truly successful!
come on, oprah makes a whopping $260M all on her own!
how bill shatner DIDN'T change the world
well, at least not in the new star trek movie...
the 76-year old shatner will not be making an appearance as kirk (or otherwise) in the upcoming star trek movie...
he's officially the random guy in the red shirt picked to go on the obviously life-threatening mission...
says shatner: "Having been in on the creation of it, I was hoping to be in on the re-creation."
the 76-year old shatner will not be making an appearance as kirk (or otherwise) in the upcoming star trek movie...
he's officially the random guy in the red shirt picked to go on the obviously life-threatening mission...
says shatner: "Having been in on the creation of it, I was hoping to be in on the re-creation."
Thursday, October 25, 2007
jack-o-melon?
why the heck not?
"Carve up a creepy melon" Put a new face on an illuminating tradition by introducing a new twist to the pumpkin patch
can't resist a turtle story
"Some turtles win the old shell game"
A mathematician has found why only a lucky few species of turtles can right themselves after being flipped. It all depends on the shape of the shell.
A mathematician has found why only a lucky few species of turtles can right themselves after being flipped. It all depends on the shape of the shell.
i have 2 primary complaints with this story...complaint number A:
what university pays not only a professor but also a grad student to create a self-righting object?? i can see how it might be interesting... but how exactly is it useful?
complaint letter 2:
so you've paid your professor and grad student to make you a self-righting object and now you're actually going to continue paying them to flip turtles over to see if they can right themselves? doesn't this constitute some sort of turtle torture??? i'm calling PETA!!!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
part time job opportunity
have some spare time?
want a job that's really "hands on"?
then maybe you'd be well suited to a career as... (wait for it)
a condom tester!
http://www.durexcondomtester.ca/welcome.php
don't ask questions! just do it!
want a job that's really "hands on"?
then maybe you'd be well suited to a career as... (wait for it)
a condom tester!
http://www.durexcondomtester.ca/welcome.php
don't ask questions! just do it!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
when pants-zilla attacks
ok, so i found something (perhaps not earth-shattering) that i had to speak my mind about...
riddle me this, riddle me that... do these pants REALLY reach a good foot and a half above where normal, self-respecting waistlines like to hang out??? i'm all for control-top anything but that's for UNDER some sort of outer layer... AND where is this girl's tailor? these horrifying trousers are a poor fit around the crotch/hips area... kinda looks like she's all suited up for a day of fly fishing in her favourite pair of hip waders!
riddle me this, riddle me that... do these pants REALLY reach a good foot and a half above where normal, self-respecting waistlines like to hang out??? i'm all for control-top anything but that's for UNDER some sort of outer layer... AND where is this girl's tailor? these horrifying trousers are a poor fit around the crotch/hips area... kinda looks like she's all suited up for a day of fly fishing in her favourite pair of hip waders!
rain, rain, go away...
sorry peeps... no posts today unless i find something utterly earth-shattering that i want to talk about.
work suddenly and unexpectedly got busy today!
when does that even happen? that's the whole point of this blog in the first place - to keep me occupied because i have no actual work to do...
work suddenly and unexpectedly got busy today!
when does that even happen? that's the whole point of this blog in the first place - to keep me occupied because i have no actual work to do...
Monday, October 22, 2007
pop culture
"Cinemas feeling the pinch on popcorn prices"
Your $5 bucket doesn't cost more yet, but the effect of surging ethanol demand has theaters worried
the whiny, money-grubbing lot in the cinema industry are bawling their eyes out about the price of popping corn... because of the increasing interest in the use of ethanol as an "eco-friendly" fuel source, the price of the corn has sky rocketed from 9 to 13 cents/pound! i know what you're thinking and yes, holy shit that's more freaking inflation than the world has seen in the last 100 years but i can see why corn popping purveyors are all up in arms!! but just hang on one cotton-pickin' second! apparently there's a grand sum of two cents ($0.02) worth of actual corn in that $5 bag butter soaked goodness you're clutching! even claiming of high energy, transportation, and labour costs they can't really expect us movie-going average joes to think they're only making minor profits in this department... they even tell you themsleves: "The concession area is a high-margin business for us," says cineplex vice-president pat marshall. so you amit to your gouging ways! why not make some friends and take a money hit in this department? or at least claim that by keeping prices high, you're helping increase the health of americans by making unhealthy popcorn less readily available!
Your $5 bucket doesn't cost more yet, but the effect of surging ethanol demand has theaters worried
the whiny, money-grubbing lot in the cinema industry are bawling their eyes out about the price of popping corn... because of the increasing interest in the use of ethanol as an "eco-friendly" fuel source, the price of the corn has sky rocketed from 9 to 13 cents/pound! i know what you're thinking and yes, holy shit that's more freaking inflation than the world has seen in the last 100 years but i can see why corn popping purveyors are all up in arms!! but just hang on one cotton-pickin' second! apparently there's a grand sum of two cents ($0.02) worth of actual corn in that $5 bag butter soaked goodness you're clutching! even claiming of high energy, transportation, and labour costs they can't really expect us movie-going average joes to think they're only making minor profits in this department... they even tell you themsleves: "The concession area is a high-margin business for us," says cineplex vice-president pat marshall. so you amit to your gouging ways! why not make some friends and take a money hit in this department? or at least claim that by keeping prices high, you're helping increase the health of americans by making unhealthy popcorn less readily available!
the classroom of the future
"Do clickers add anything to the classroom?"
Kids are so enthused they'll even skip recess
but apparently this high tech gadgets can be of use to students who are far beyond recess... these systems can and are being used "from grade school to grad school."
here's how it works:
"The wireless hand-held remotes let students send answers to multiple-choice questions, with the click of a button." the system consists of 20 to 30 clickers (depending on class size), a reciever, software, a computer, a projector, and a screen
they're a little pricey but it sounds like a good way to get this tech-crazy generation involved. i wish they had this type of thing when i was still in school...
Kids are so enthused they'll even skip recess
but apparently this high tech gadgets can be of use to students who are far beyond recess... these systems can and are being used "from grade school to grad school."
here's how it works:
"The wireless hand-held remotes let students send answers to multiple-choice questions, with the click of a button." the system consists of 20 to 30 clickers (depending on class size), a reciever, software, a computer, a projector, and a screen
they're a little pricey but it sounds like a good way to get this tech-crazy generation involved. i wish they had this type of thing when i was still in school...
tricks and treats
bored of carving your jack-o-lanterns the traditional way?these nutsos from flordia participated in an underwater pumpkin carving contest sponsered by the amoray dive resort...
i'm content carving my pumpkins at or above sea level thank you very much.
desperate for students
having trouble getting accepted to a university??
well, fret no more! the university of california is using a cockroach petting zoo to attract potential students and their parents at an up coming recruitment fair...
this petting zoo from hell supposedly targets students looking at careers as science teachers or engineers. or engineers??? what in the bloody hell does buliding bridges/motors/roads/dams/water treatment plants/spreadsheets have to with cockroaches??? not taking into account my bias as an enginner, this is silly! science teacher & cockroaches i can understand but engineers? maybe they have a different definition of engineer down there in sunny california... all that sun can get to one's brain eventually...
so if you're feel up too it, go touch some cockroaches! including palm-sized madagascar hissing cockroaches... and, AND (wait for it...) cockroaches that emit a foul, ammonia-like scent!!! why would you want to touch that? how would that make you interested in the science of cockroaches? all it would do is make you hand smell foul and ammonia-like!
well, fret no more! the university of california is using a cockroach petting zoo to attract potential students and their parents at an up coming recruitment fair...
this petting zoo from hell supposedly targets students looking at careers as science teachers or engineers. or engineers??? what in the bloody hell does buliding bridges/motors/roads/dams/water treatment plants/spreadsheets have to with cockroaches??? not taking into account my bias as an enginner, this is silly! science teacher & cockroaches i can understand but engineers? maybe they have a different definition of engineer down there in sunny california... all that sun can get to one's brain eventually...
so if you're feel up too it, go touch some cockroaches! including palm-sized madagascar hissing cockroaches... and, AND (wait for it...) cockroaches that emit a foul, ammonia-like scent!!! why would you want to touch that? how would that make you interested in the science of cockroaches? all it would do is make you hand smell foul and ammonia-like!
an ode to monday
oh monday with your morning light so bright,
won't you hear my grumbling plight?
to start another week anew
is liked by only a foolish few.
if only the weekend could last forever
so that we may halt our work week endeavour
and enjoy the time off forever...
(yes, i DID rhyme forever with forever! got a problem with that?!?)
won't you hear my grumbling plight?
to start another week anew
is liked by only a foolish few.
if only the weekend could last forever
so that we may halt our work week endeavour
and enjoy the time off forever...
(yes, i DID rhyme forever with forever! got a problem with that?!?)
Friday, October 19, 2007
wow... just... wow
geezes! what is the blazes do we have here?!? is jennifer connelly really wearing a person-sized, floral baseball skin?? how did she manage to leave the house in this? common sense says try to not make a fool of yourself in public because it this society obsessed with looks one cannot afford to toe the line lest they be shunned like a a kindergartener with the chicken pox...
secretly, i want those shoes so bad i'm sure a neon sign has appeared above my head proclaiming said fact...
secretly, i want those shoes so bad i'm sure a neon sign has appeared above my head proclaiming said fact...
frightful friday
with halloween less than 2 weeks away, we should be doing all we can to get in the mood. with that in mind, allow me to present the following:
Dose.ca's Top 10 Vampire Movies
in case you didn't feel like following the link, here's the titles that made the cut:
Dose.ca's Top 10 Vampire Movies
in case you didn't feel like following the link, here's the titles that made the cut:
- Vampires (1998)
- Underworld (2003)
- Nosferatu (1922)
- Near Dark (1987)
- Lost Boys (1987)
- Interview with a Vampire (1994)
- The Hunger (1983)
- Fright Night (1985)
- Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
- Blood: The Last Vampire (2000)
i'll admit, i'd never heard of almost half this list... but i am now chomping at the bit (pun intended) to see the hunger for no other reason than the fact it stars mr. david bowie... as a vampire!!! it doesn't get any more awesome than that.
there are some down-on-their-luck vampire movies that have been left out such as blade, from dusk 'til dawn (quentin feaking tarantino!), and the loveably campy original buffy the vampire slayer movie... also missing is the leslie neilson stinkbomb dracula: dead and loving it... i wonder how that got left off??
not to be left out, the christian saviour himself gets in on the action when he is called back to fight vampires in jesus christ: vampire hunter!!
and never letting us forget the image of vampires as sexy undead beings, we have the parade of vampire-themed erotic movies with colourful titles such as vampire hookers and barely legal lesbian vampires.
by the by, all this looking up of vampire movies has made for a very enjoyable afternoon for me... MUCH more exciting than you know... working.
jeers from the cheap seats!
"Neil Young not tops with everyone"
seems people were not pleased with the rankings for the top canadian albums...
seems a lot of people wanted to see more "alternative" (and might i add, more current) bands (a la feist, broken social scene, the weakerthans) on the list...
but let's not forget, the people who assembled this list are probably aging music junkies who think all the "music" the kids listen to is just noise. this list IS rather "safe" in that it clings to classic oldies - the legend of the older artists may have propelled them to the top of this list rather than the quality of the albums.
what's your choice for best canadian album? top 5?
seems people were not pleased with the rankings for the top canadian albums...
seems a lot of people wanted to see more "alternative" (and might i add, more current) bands (a la feist, broken social scene, the weakerthans) on the list...
but let's not forget, the people who assembled this list are probably aging music junkies who think all the "music" the kids listen to is just noise. this list IS rather "safe" in that it clings to classic oldies - the legend of the older artists may have propelled them to the top of this list rather than the quality of the albums.
what's your choice for best canadian album? top 5?
Thursday, October 18, 2007
a little bit of canadiana
according to a poll of 600 musicians, there are the top 10 (out of 100) canadian albums:
1. "Harvest" by Neil Young (1972)
2. "Blue" by Joni Mitchell (1970)
3. "After the Gold Rush" by Neil Young (1970)
4. "Music From Big Pink" by The Band (1968)
5. "Fully Completely" by The Tragically Hip (1992)
6. "Jagged Little Pill" by Alanis Morisette (1995)
7. "The Band" by The Band (1969)
8. "Funeral" by Arcade Fire (2004)
9. "Moving Pictures" by Rush (1981)
10. "American Woman" by The Guess Who (1970)
oh neil young... your voice is like a nasally razor blade in my head. i really don't get why people want to subject themselves to that sort of torture. yet you appear thrice (!!!) in the top 20! and arcade fire... really? it's good and all but... really??
1. "Harvest" by Neil Young (1972)
2. "Blue" by Joni Mitchell (1970)
3. "After the Gold Rush" by Neil Young (1970)
4. "Music From Big Pink" by The Band (1968)
5. "Fully Completely" by The Tragically Hip (1992)
6. "Jagged Little Pill" by Alanis Morisette (1995)
7. "The Band" by The Band (1969)
8. "Funeral" by Arcade Fire (2004)
9. "Moving Pictures" by Rush (1981)
10. "American Woman" by The Guess Who (1970)
oh neil young... your voice is like a nasally razor blade in my head. i really don't get why people want to subject themselves to that sort of torture. yet you appear thrice (!!!) in the top 20! and arcade fire... really? it's good and all but... really??
beware the bunnies!
"Feverishly multiplying bunnies taking over Valley Ridge"
hee hee... bunnies are so soft and fluffy! how and you not love them?
hee hee... bunnies are so soft and fluffy! how and you not love them?
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
what a nuisance!
"Vomiting in public could cost St. Catharines residents $300"
i understand what "the man" is trying to do here but this is just silly. are brock university students really that vomitous that the streets are like the sewers are backing up with vomit? yes? oh... well that's not the point!
i can see a fine for fighting and knocking over mailboxes but vomiting? it is a natural reflex that you really don't have any control over once it decides it's going to do it's thing! sure you could drink a little less but the line between being comfotably loaded and spewing your cookies is a blurry, blurry, red-eyed line! people are hoping the tickets will be proportionately distributed to students and non-students but can you see a bylaw officer writing a ticket for an infant who spit-up on her mama's shirt? that would only be fair... and awesome! that's the key for this new bylaw going down in flames - reporting babies and children for vomiting in public and insisting they be written tickets!
another thing to point out: since when does vomiting and spitting rate a higher fine than destruction of property?? spitting and vomiting in public is a $300 fine while knocking over mailboxes, fences or hedges is only a $250 fine... i'd be more upset if some drunken lout destroyed my fence than if he ralffed on my lawn - the vomit will wash, but my fence will need more attention.
i understand what "the man" is trying to do here but this is just silly. are brock university students really that vomitous that the streets are like the sewers are backing up with vomit? yes? oh... well that's not the point!
i can see a fine for fighting and knocking over mailboxes but vomiting? it is a natural reflex that you really don't have any control over once it decides it's going to do it's thing! sure you could drink a little less but the line between being comfotably loaded and spewing your cookies is a blurry, blurry, red-eyed line! people are hoping the tickets will be proportionately distributed to students and non-students but can you see a bylaw officer writing a ticket for an infant who spit-up on her mama's shirt? that would only be fair... and awesome! that's the key for this new bylaw going down in flames - reporting babies and children for vomiting in public and insisting they be written tickets!
another thing to point out: since when does vomiting and spitting rate a higher fine than destruction of property?? spitting and vomiting in public is a $300 fine while knocking over mailboxes, fences or hedges is only a $250 fine... i'd be more upset if some drunken lout destroyed my fence than if he ralffed on my lawn - the vomit will wash, but my fence will need more attention.
the eagle has landed!
stephen colbert for president!!! i would totally vote for him... i'll be write-in votes for him will over shadow votes for other candidates!
hey, if arnie can be a governor, why can't this happen as well??
hey, if arnie can be a governor, why can't this happen as well??
some helpful advice
now that the fall weather is upon us, i thought i should share some advice on keeping warm. flesh coverage is key - frostbite and windburn are NOT the hottest accessories for autum and should be trashed along with your skinny jeans and leggings. shown here by our "model" bai ling is a perfect example of how not to dress for fall... or winter... or spring... or summer.
that isn't actually her hand holding the jacket closed - it is an intricately made clasp fashioned in the form of a hand. neat, huh? recently, ms. ling has been busy with her community service, parading around in outfits insturcting people how not to stay warm in the upcoming months.
here's a question for you: why do event organizers keep letting this girl attend events? does she even act anymore or is her new career more centred in the field of defying the laws of fashion and hence the universe?? the last thing (well, to be fair, the only thing) i remember her doing is playing miss east in will smith's box office bomb remake of wild wild west... interestingly, her scenes are often cut from versions of the movie adapted for television.
that isn't actually her hand holding the jacket closed - it is an intricately made clasp fashioned in the form of a hand. neat, huh? recently, ms. ling has been busy with her community service, parading around in outfits insturcting people how not to stay warm in the upcoming months.here's a question for you: why do event organizers keep letting this girl attend events? does she even act anymore or is her new career more centred in the field of defying the laws of fashion and hence the universe?? the last thing (well, to be fair, the only thing) i remember her doing is playing miss east in will smith's box office bomb remake of wild wild west... interestingly, her scenes are often cut from versions of the movie adapted for television.
inspired by forty-rod whiskey
"Quebec legislature bans word 'weathervane'"
Speaker says its hurtful and a slur after Charest called Dumont a weathervane one too many times
back story: charest refered to dumont as a weathervane in regards to the latter's penchant for always changing directions...
this just makes me snicker... remember that episode of friends where ross & monica reveal their secret childhood way of swearing at eachother in front of their parents using odd gestures? or the episode of disney's recess where TJ & friends almost get expelled for using the word "whomps"? now the kiddies in the quebec legislature will have to come up with their own code in order to sneakily insult eachother! this infantile!
checkout some more choice words considered "unparliamentary language" in the parliament of canada:
Speaker says its hurtful and a slur after Charest called Dumont a weathervane one too many times
back story: charest refered to dumont as a weathervane in regards to the latter's penchant for always changing directions...
this just makes me snicker... remember that episode of friends where ross & monica reveal their secret childhood way of swearing at eachother in front of their parents using odd gestures? or the episode of disney's recess where TJ & friends almost get expelled for using the word "whomps"? now the kiddies in the quebec legislature will have to come up with their own code in order to sneakily insult eachother! this infantile!
checkout some more choice words considered "unparliamentary language" in the parliament of canada:
- a bag of wind
- inspired by forty-rod whiskey
- blatherskite
- a trained seal
- fuddle duddle
- sleaze bag
- scuzzball
at least it can't get any worse
after brian mccabe handed the game to buffalo in the dying seconds of overtime on monday there's been a storm a-brewin' amongst leaf fans... i fear a lynching in the near future...
but hey, it's only the beginning of the season and things can only go up from here, right?
let's take a step back and examine some other famous foibles...
Chris Philips, Ottawa Senators
Scored what would go down as Anaheim's Cup-winning goal in Game 5 of last June's Stanley Cup final, the defenseman losing the puck off Senator'a goalie Ray Emery's skate as he wheeled out from behind his own net.
Jonathan Woodgate, Real Madrid
Welcome to the Bernaneu, Jonny: an own-goal header AND a red card in his debut for Real in 2005.
Anders Escobar, Colombia
Tragic figure whose [own-goal] propelled host United States into knockout round and shuffled favoured Colombia out of the 1994 World Cup. Ten days later, he was shot and killed [!!!] outside a Medellin nightclub.
Staf van den Buys, Germinal Ekeren (Belgium)
Patron saint of own-goalers scored an astounding hat trick into his own net during a 1996 Belgian League game against Anderlecht.
Steve Smith, Edmonton Oilers
His pass from behind the net went off Grant Fuhr's leg into the net during Game 7 of the 1986 playoffs against Calgary, sending the dynastic Oilers out of the playoffs and denying them a third straight Stanley Cup.
Chris Nicholl, Aston Villa
Scored all four goals in a 2-2 draw against Leicester in 1976.
Jim Marshall, Minnesota Vikings
Recovered a fumble and ran 66 yards the wrong way for what he thought was a TD but went on the scoreboard as a safety against San Francisco in 1964.
but hey, it's only the beginning of the season and things can only go up from here, right?
let's take a step back and examine some other famous foibles...
Chris Philips, Ottawa Senators
Scored what would go down as Anaheim's Cup-winning goal in Game 5 of last June's Stanley Cup final, the defenseman losing the puck off Senator'a goalie Ray Emery's skate as he wheeled out from behind his own net.
Jonathan Woodgate, Real Madrid
Welcome to the Bernaneu, Jonny: an own-goal header AND a red card in his debut for Real in 2005.
Anders Escobar, Colombia
Tragic figure whose [own-goal] propelled host United States into knockout round and shuffled favoured Colombia out of the 1994 World Cup. Ten days later, he was shot and killed [!!!] outside a Medellin nightclub.
Staf van den Buys, Germinal Ekeren (Belgium)
Patron saint of own-goalers scored an astounding hat trick into his own net during a 1996 Belgian League game against Anderlecht.
Steve Smith, Edmonton Oilers
His pass from behind the net went off Grant Fuhr's leg into the net during Game 7 of the 1986 playoffs against Calgary, sending the dynastic Oilers out of the playoffs and denying them a third straight Stanley Cup.
Chris Nicholl, Aston Villa
Scored all four goals in a 2-2 draw against Leicester in 1976.
Jim Marshall, Minnesota Vikings
Recovered a fumble and ran 66 yards the wrong way for what he thought was a TD but went on the scoreboard as a safety against San Francisco in 1964.
here's something new for TLC
"Father of 67 wants to marry for the 9th time"
geezes... what in the world do you do with 67 kids? besides, having your own baseball, football, soccer, rugby, AND cricket teams...
the best TLC has is "Surviving Sextuplets and Twins"... that's only eight kids! that's like nothing at all!
mind you, this guy has 8 wives already so that's a average of 8.4 kids each... and all his wives could be pregnant at the same time. so really, the sextuplets & twins lady is much more impressive. a guy and go around spreading his genetic junk and having kids all willy-nilly because it doesn't have to affect him. if a woman had 67 (biological) kids - now, that would just be totally amazing! i bet you could fit a freight train through her uterus!
geezes... what in the world do you do with 67 kids? besides, having your own baseball, football, soccer, rugby, AND cricket teams...
the best TLC has is "Surviving Sextuplets and Twins"... that's only eight kids! that's like nothing at all!
mind you, this guy has 8 wives already so that's a average of 8.4 kids each... and all his wives could be pregnant at the same time. so really, the sextuplets & twins lady is much more impressive. a guy and go around spreading his genetic junk and having kids all willy-nilly because it doesn't have to affect him. if a woman had 67 (biological) kids - now, that would just be totally amazing! i bet you could fit a freight train through her uterus!
not the colour i was thinking of...
"Making brownies 'Blue'"
A Toronto woman wins a contest to lighten up her brownies and become a Loblaw Blue Menu product developer for a day
i'm all for making the food we eat healthier but... why do "good for you" foods always end up with the consistency of styrofoam, dry as the sahara, and leave you wishing you had a whiskey chaser? the people market testing these products must have tongues made out of shag carpeting embedded with all the grim they've picked up since the 60's...
A Toronto woman wins a contest to lighten up her brownies and become a Loblaw Blue Menu product developer for a day
i'm all for making the food we eat healthier but... why do "good for you" foods always end up with the consistency of styrofoam, dry as the sahara, and leave you wishing you had a whiskey chaser? the people market testing these products must have tongues made out of shag carpeting embedded with all the grim they've picked up since the 60's...
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
in case you needed an idea...
ha! HA!!!
everyone knows halloween is just an excuse to dress up like a cheap hooker and now they're actually advertizing it!
everyone knows halloween is just an excuse to dress up like a cheap hooker and now they're actually advertizing it!
"U.S. woman cited for yelling obscenities at overflowing toilet in her home"
this is just riduclous... the neighbour who cited this poor woman must have a heart made of stone. fine, you asked them to quiet it down... but come on! her toilet was flowing into her kitchen! does the neighbour always have control of the situation? nothing gets under his/her skin? aren't there times when he/she just wants to scream? we've all had these moments and others should give us a little leeway when we actually have to let off some steam! guess who's not getting invited to the neighbourhood bbq next year...
AND 90 days in jail? for profanities? i wonder what exactly she was charged with...
my favourite line? "You can't prosecute somebody for swearing at a cop or a toilet."
this is just riduclous... the neighbour who cited this poor woman must have a heart made of stone. fine, you asked them to quiet it down... but come on! her toilet was flowing into her kitchen! does the neighbour always have control of the situation? nothing gets under his/her skin? aren't there times when he/she just wants to scream? we've all had these moments and others should give us a little leeway when we actually have to let off some steam! guess who's not getting invited to the neighbourhood bbq next year...
AND 90 days in jail? for profanities? i wonder what exactly she was charged with...
my favourite line? "You can't prosecute somebody for swearing at a cop or a toilet."
for the person who has everything...
"Citizen Kane Oscar to be auctioned"
$800,000 to $1.2 mil?? come on... it's not even for best actor or best film... it's only best screenplay! i don't care if it was considered one of the best movies ever... i didn't find it all that captivating. all the snuff and bother over a sled? a little over dramatic...
$800,000 to $1.2 mil?? come on... it's not even for best actor or best film... it's only best screenplay! i don't care if it was considered one of the best movies ever... i didn't find it all that captivating. all the snuff and bother over a sled? a little over dramatic...
Monday, October 15, 2007
brit wit
the wittiest brits of all time according to a survey of 3000 comedy fans...
1. Oscar Wilde
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
2. Spike Milligan - Goon Show creator
"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
3. Stephen Fry - QI host
"It is a cliche that most cliches are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue."
4. Jeremy Clarkson - Top Gear host
On Alfa Romeo cars, "You cannot be a true petrol head until you've owned one... it's like having really great sex that leaves you with an embarrassing itch."
5. Sir Winston Churchill
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
6. Paul Merton - Have I got News For You team captain
"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
7. Sir Noel Coward - actor, playwright, composer
"I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me."
8. Shakespeare
"Better a witty fool than a foolish wit."
9. Brian Clough, football (soccer for you yanks...) manager
"I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball? He might grab mine."
10. Liam Gallagher, Oasis lead singer
"Americans want grungy people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don't get it."
1. Oscar Wilde
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
2. Spike Milligan - Goon Show creator
"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
3. Stephen Fry - QI host
"It is a cliche that most cliches are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue."
4. Jeremy Clarkson - Top Gear host
On Alfa Romeo cars, "You cannot be a true petrol head until you've owned one... it's like having really great sex that leaves you with an embarrassing itch."
5. Sir Winston Churchill
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
6. Paul Merton - Have I got News For You team captain
"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
7. Sir Noel Coward - actor, playwright, composer
"I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me."
8. Shakespeare
"Better a witty fool than a foolish wit."
9. Brian Clough, football (soccer for you yanks...) manager
"I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball? He might grab mine."
10. Liam Gallagher, Oasis lead singer
"Americans want grungy people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don't get it."
guess my age!
not MY age but the age of this most interesting specimen below:
this, my friends, is all growed up marcia brady! real name: maureen mccormick. ms. mccormick has obviously failed to realize several things... a) that she is no longer the most popular girl at high school and cannot trends and expect people to follow in her wake, b) that is no longer the 70s, and most glaringly obvious c) that she is in fact 51 years of age!! good sweet mike! that's only a few scant years short of my mother! if i ever caught my mother (or anyone related to me for that matter) in a similar get-up, i'd probably end up and a cinderella's-evil-step-sisters-outfit-destroying fit of rage! i can imagine some ambitious high-schooler (unsuccessfully) trying to pull this off (coloured tights, one of those pregnant-looking dress-tops, and beads? come on now, those are all staples of current and abhorrent teenage wardrobes... why not try to fuse them all together?) but at an age where you could potentially be a grandmother, i just don't think it's wise!
Friday, October 12, 2007
beam them up!
all star trek jokes aside...
i'm so super excited that simon pegg (shaun of the dead, hot fuzz) has been cast as montgomery scott in the new star trek movie due christmas 2008!
would you don a unitard uniform a la 1st season TNG in order to be the in new star trek film?? i think we all know the answer to that is yes and YES again!
i'm so super excited that simon pegg (shaun of the dead, hot fuzz) has been cast as montgomery scott in the new star trek movie due christmas 2008!
would you don a unitard uniform a la 1st season TNG in order to be the in new star trek film?? i think we all know the answer to that is yes and YES again!
bored?
if you're bored and also concerned with your health (who isn't both of those things a great proportion of time?) i suggest you go the health canada's new website for canada's food guide and make yourself a personalized one!
it's really not all that "personalized" - all you do is select the foods that appear on the guide... but the little cartoons of all the foods are rather cute and amusing. then you can print it out, hang it on the wall an pretend you're sticking to it! it'll be a great conversation starter...
it's really not all that "personalized" - all you do is select the foods that appear on the guide... but the little cartoons of all the foods are rather cute and amusing. then you can print it out, hang it on the wall an pretend you're sticking to it! it'll be a great conversation starter...
fashion-challenged
"Magically, the drop-crotch trouser returns"
yeah... i don't think so.
personally, i think i'd rather try pouring myself into skinny jeans or hitching my pants up under my boobs with those hideous high-waisted pants.
i highly doubt that "it's the coolest pant" or that they are "new" or "sexy"...
do you really think little booties or sexy stilettos would match well with this:
yeah... i don't think so.
personally, i think i'd rather try pouring myself into skinny jeans or hitching my pants up under my boobs with those hideous high-waisted pants.
i highly doubt that "it's the coolest pant" or that they are "new" or "sexy"...
do you really think little booties or sexy stilettos would match well with this:
oh what's that you say? women won't mind their thighs looking like balloons? riiiggghhhttt... you keep believing that! these people mush seriously be on crack if they think this is really going to happen...
Thursday, October 11, 2007
olypi-gouging
planning on catching some men's hockey action at the vancouver 2010 olympics? got an extra grand lying around? that's right folks! it's going to cost up to $775 (not accounting for taxes or inflated scalpers' prices) to catch the men's gold medal hockey game in person! sitting behind a support column with your back against the outer wall of the arena for the same game will cost you 350 buckaroos!
the ticket prices for the 2010 games were announced today and you better start saving now!
officials say that tickets are priced to ensure people in all income brackets can see some olympic events... riiiggghhhttt... of course the most in-demand events will cost you a pretty penny and even the opening events ($175 - $1100) will cost you at least a arm if not a leg...
however, for other events (the boring ones that no one really cares about), there are 100,000 tickets for $25 and half will purportedly cost $100 or less... how about tickets for biathlon at turn 10? no, no, you don't get to see any of the shooting; you just get to see them swoosh by... ice dancing anyone?
to be nice, the vancouver organizing committee will be giving away 50,000 tickets (again, probably for the boring events no one cares about) to those less fortunate. so if you're rich, go ahead! buy as many tickets as you want! if you're poor, hold your hand out for the prospect of free tickets - hey, maybe you can even scalp them! if you're in between, shame... i guess you won't be going.
the ticket prices for the 2010 games were announced today and you better start saving now!
officials say that tickets are priced to ensure people in all income brackets can see some olympic events... riiiggghhhttt... of course the most in-demand events will cost you a pretty penny and even the opening events ($175 - $1100) will cost you at least a arm if not a leg...
however, for other events (the boring ones that no one really cares about), there are 100,000 tickets for $25 and half will purportedly cost $100 or less... how about tickets for biathlon at turn 10? no, no, you don't get to see any of the shooting; you just get to see them swoosh by... ice dancing anyone?
to be nice, the vancouver organizing committee will be giving away 50,000 tickets (again, probably for the boring events no one cares about) to those less fortunate. so if you're rich, go ahead! buy as many tickets as you want! if you're poor, hold your hand out for the prospect of free tickets - hey, maybe you can even scalp them! if you're in between, shame... i guess you won't be going.
the proof is in the preview
celebutard worship
don't ask me why but today i found myself at kim kardashian's website reading her "about me" section... (who know she did ALL those things??? i wish i could do that much constantly drunk off my ass...)
whoever wrote it doesn't seem to know what kim actually does (especially in the evening times...) or just chose to ignore it all together and completely write a fictional bio...
the thing is laced with phrases such as:
"modern day Brady Bunch"
"sweet natured and curious minded"
"never ending drive and hard work ethic"
"ultra feminine and captivating"
"when kim is not working or creating a new and diverse business challenge"
do these things sound like something one might say about someone who parades around one carefully placed piece of garment tape away from a complete nipple show and has an alleged sex tape of her getting peed on? maybe they are talking about that other kim kardashian...
whoever wrote it doesn't seem to know what kim actually does (especially in the evening times...) or just chose to ignore it all together and completely write a fictional bio...
the thing is laced with phrases such as:
"modern day Brady Bunch"
"sweet natured and curious minded"
"never ending drive and hard work ethic"
"ultra feminine and captivating"
"when kim is not working or creating a new and diverse business challenge"
do these things sound like something one might say about someone who parades around one carefully placed piece of garment tape away from a complete nipple show and has an alleged sex tape of her getting peed on? maybe they are talking about that other kim kardashian...
penny for your thoughts?
that phrase could soon be a thing of the past...according to a recent survey, canadians--particularly retailers--have said they'd like to see the demise of our little copper friend.
63% of small retailers want the penny gone and only 19% wanted it to hang around... customers were more evenly split on the matter - 42% say oh no it must go! while 33% still enjoyed that jangle in their change pockets.
the survey was good to point out that there are downsides to pocketing the penny for good... on the retailer side there are concerns about limited pricing options and tax implications while customers fear that this will give retailers to push prices higher by rounding up rather than down.
add your two cents... vote on the penny poll at the bottom of the main page!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
raining on my parade...
so the fun police at work have implemented a new interweb thingy that's supposed to protect us from unwanted internet content... why do we need a new one? i was just starting to get along with our old one! fare thee well spam assassin! this net nanny is even stricter than the last! all my time-expending activities are now useless! useless i tells ya!!all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go crazy all work and no play make jenn go something something...
idiotville, usa
"Man arrested for trying to use fake million"
wait, wait! it gets better!
the supermarket cashier became confused when he found he didn't have enough cash in his drawer to give the man change so he called his manager who in turn refused the man confiscated the bill. after demanding his "real money" be returned to him and being denied, the man then became enraged, damaging an electronic fund-transfer machine and hitting an employee with a scanner gun!
a) why would you go to the grocery store and try to purchase like $80 worth of food with a $1M bill??? wouldn't you set your sites a little higher? maybe he really needed groceries...
b) the cashier became confused when he couldn't make change? really...? that's what triggered the suspision? geezes!!! if alarm bells aren't ringing in his head when someone hands over a million, then i don't want to trust this kid with making sure i have enough pennies in my change!
wait, wait! it gets better!
the supermarket cashier became confused when he found he didn't have enough cash in his drawer to give the man change so he called his manager who in turn refused the man confiscated the bill. after demanding his "real money" be returned to him and being denied, the man then became enraged, damaging an electronic fund-transfer machine and hitting an employee with a scanner gun!
a) why would you go to the grocery store and try to purchase like $80 worth of food with a $1M bill??? wouldn't you set your sites a little higher? maybe he really needed groceries...
b) the cashier became confused when he couldn't make change? really...? that's what triggered the suspision? geezes!!! if alarm bells aren't ringing in his head when someone hands over a million, then i don't want to trust this kid with making sure i have enough pennies in my change!
high on life!
i'm so freaking excited!
weeds returns for it's 3rd season tonight at 10 on showcase and i can't wait!
you should all watch!
weeds returns for it's 3rd season tonight at 10 on showcase and i can't wait!
you should all watch!
bad case of the blues...
so it looks like our toronto maple leafs are off to another atrocious start...
i'm beginning to lose hope! after dropping 2 to ottawa and being completely embarrassed by carolina 7-1 on tuesday night, things are not looking good. the cries of "shaky goaltending", "horrid defense", and "sluggish offence" can be heard all around, echoing the cries from previous uninspiring seasons...
AND, not to sound cold-hearted, it seems we may have bought ourselves another useless player! new winger jason blake just announced he was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia. they say it's totally treatable and he says he's going to strive to be the same 40-goal player the leafs hired but it's gotta really take it out of him. he's entitled to be sad, to have some down-time, to not feel like himself... it's asking too much for him to just plow through this and pretend like nothing's different. face the facts - we're going to have to take some decrease in production from him over the next little while. in the end, i wish him a full and speedy recovery and i hope the leafs can find a way to pull up their socks, fill in for their ailing teammate, and find the missing spark for the rest of the season.
i'm beginning to lose hope! after dropping 2 to ottawa and being completely embarrassed by carolina 7-1 on tuesday night, things are not looking good. the cries of "shaky goaltending", "horrid defense", and "sluggish offence" can be heard all around, echoing the cries from previous uninspiring seasons...
AND, not to sound cold-hearted, it seems we may have bought ourselves another useless player! new winger jason blake just announced he was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia. they say it's totally treatable and he says he's going to strive to be the same 40-goal player the leafs hired but it's gotta really take it out of him. he's entitled to be sad, to have some down-time, to not feel like himself... it's asking too much for him to just plow through this and pretend like nothing's different. face the facts - we're going to have to take some decrease in production from him over the next little while. in the end, i wish him a full and speedy recovery and i hope the leafs can find a way to pull up their socks, fill in for their ailing teammate, and find the missing spark for the rest of the season.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
fashion crazy of crazy fashion?
is she wearing an outfit fashioned from a plaid garbage bag?i actually think that's what she might be wearing!
perhaps she thinks she may get attacked by a hoard of toddles who've mischievously gotten into the finger paints?
apparently, this is amy sedaris... imdb tells me she is... well, it doesn't tell me much at all! she's been in a number of different things with such groundbreaking roles as "The Receptionist", "Robin's Secretary", and "Cassidy's Mom"...
picture of the week
it's mr. potato crackhead!ok, ok... so it's not really crack... it's ecstasy! so that's what 300 grams of ecstasy looks like... as anyone who knows me can contest, i have a bad (potato) head for figures.
i love how you can see the actual mr. potato head pieces (the eyes!!) still in inside the toy!
the toy was being shipped from ireland to australia when it was picked up by the australian customs service... apparently, importing drugs to australia comes with a maximum penalty of life in prison! steep!
the best fuggin' thing ever!
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/
i swear, these ladies should be put up for the nobel peace prize for fugging...
the things they say sometimes make my head explode!
"because if Flavor Flav stands for anything -- besides Vikings, zealous timekeeping, and shiney teeth -- it's clearly the importance of being honest about one's boob-to-waist-to-booty ratio" outstanding! obviously, mr. f.f. is a ridiculous dresser and not even worthy of a fug (unless of course it was a rare unfugging but i don't see that happening any time in the near future) but this comment was unleashed on a tangent duing a fug of "hottie" a former contestant on flavor of love.
or when being befuddled by a desperate and silent plea by nobody brooke hogan to be on dancing with the stars to exclaim, "My brain is totally full of muffins right now." brilliant!
i swear, these ladies should be put up for the nobel peace prize for fugging...
the things they say sometimes make my head explode!
"because if Flavor Flav stands for anything -- besides Vikings, zealous timekeeping, and shiney teeth -- it's clearly the importance of being honest about one's boob-to-waist-to-booty ratio" outstanding! obviously, mr. f.f. is a ridiculous dresser and not even worthy of a fug (unless of course it was a rare unfugging but i don't see that happening any time in the near future) but this comment was unleashed on a tangent duing a fug of "hottie" a former contestant on flavor of love.
or when being befuddled by a desperate and silent plea by nobody brooke hogan to be on dancing with the stars to exclaim, "My brain is totally full of muffins right now." brilliant!
space junk
"50 years ago, tink Sputnik launched the space age"
Satellite blazed trail into history books in 1957
you don't hear the russians conspiring under their breaths that sputnik was all a hoax, staged on a russian version of a hollywood soundstage... truely a turning point in the space race. betcha they'll land a person on mars first... any takers?
Satellite blazed trail into history books in 1957
you don't hear the russians conspiring under their breaths that sputnik was all a hoax, staged on a russian version of a hollywood soundstage... truely a turning point in the space race. betcha they'll land a person on mars first... any takers?
lots of huff, no puff
so in last night's season opener against ottawa, the leafs came charging out of the gate, played a solid 40 minutes and then gave it all away in the thrid... echoes of last season, and the other unprodutive seasons before that.
the game itselt was interesting - hitting, good chances, powerplays, fights... wade freaking redden in a fight!! and the leafs looked ENORMOUS in their slighty altered new uniforms... but it was just blah... near the end of the second, i was just like they look so tired! and it's just the beginning of the season! le sigh...
let's hope they pull up their socks for their next game (against ottawa again) on thursday...
the game itselt was interesting - hitting, good chances, powerplays, fights... wade freaking redden in a fight!! and the leafs looked ENORMOUS in their slighty altered new uniforms... but it was just blah... near the end of the second, i was just like they look so tired! and it's just the beginning of the season! le sigh...
let's hope they pull up their socks for their next game (against ottawa again) on thursday...
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
let's get ready to rumble!!!
so apparently nbc is going to be remaking the classic early 90's action "game show" american gladiators!!!! and hulk hogan is going to host!
officially, my day can not get any better!
i hope all the "professionals" have awesome names like before! lace, turbo, gemini, nitro, diamond!?! who didn't want to be them for halloween??
officially, my day can not get any better!
i hope all the "professionals" have awesome names like before! lace, turbo, gemini, nitro, diamond!?! who didn't want to be them for halloween??
a little cleaner...
"Toronto goes green"
City government credited with decreasing the size of our footprint on the environment
a hale & hearty pat on the back for all!
let's keep this trend going and growing.
City government credited with decreasing the size of our footprint on the environment
a hale & hearty pat on the back for all!
let's keep this trend going and growing.
campaign for real beauty
check out this new clip that's part of dove's "assult on cultural distortions" regarding beauty...is beauty truely in the eye of the beholder? trite, but worth asking.
something for the nerds
"Asteroid named after Star Trek's Sulu"
aftr you've finished hyperventilating into a paper bag, you may thank me for bringing this to your attention. btw, you are most welcome!
aftr you've finished hyperventilating into a paper bag, you may thank me for bringing this to your attention. btw, you are most welcome!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
paper or plastic?
Quebec town bans plastic bags at stores
Huntingdon, Que. - The small town of Huntingdon is banning stores from using plastic bags, starting this January.
Mayor Stephane Gendron says any supermarket, pharmacy or other store that uses plastic bags in the town, southwest of Montreal, will be fined a minimum $1,000.
Gendron said today that his town council will pass a bylaw outlawing plastic bags but merchants will have until Jan. 1 to get ready for the change.
The Manitoba town of Leaf Rapids was the first community in Canada to ban plastic bags.
well, this idea has it's merits and all but there are just some time when you need a plastic bag! does this mean the town residents need to go out and by a couple dozen of those eco bags some stores are now promoting?? more importantly, what will the pooper-scoopers use??
Huntingdon, Que. - The small town of Huntingdon is banning stores from using plastic bags, starting this January.
Mayor Stephane Gendron says any supermarket, pharmacy or other store that uses plastic bags in the town, southwest of Montreal, will be fined a minimum $1,000.
Gendron said today that his town council will pass a bylaw outlawing plastic bags but merchants will have until Jan. 1 to get ready for the change.
The Manitoba town of Leaf Rapids was the first community in Canada to ban plastic bags.
well, this idea has it's merits and all but there are just some time when you need a plastic bag! does this mean the town residents need to go out and by a couple dozen of those eco bags some stores are now promoting?? more importantly, what will the pooper-scoopers use??
no! it's too soon!
i'm not ready for fall!!!
leaves, back to your posts! on the double now!
but i swear, it's only my street! we must have quick-release trees or something. our lawn and street are covered! and as soon as you turn off the street, the trees are still all green and fully foliaged! what's up with that??
leaves, back to your posts! on the double now!
but i swear, it's only my street! we must have quick-release trees or something. our lawn and street are covered! and as soon as you turn off the street, the trees are still all green and fully foliaged! what's up with that??
equal opportunity employer!!!
believe it or not, i try to think the best of people...
bbbbuuutttt... when i saw this i had to think bad things.
i had no idea the toronto star employed ogres to do their cooking column!
bbbbuuutttt... when i saw this i had to think bad things.
i had no idea the toronto star employed ogres to do their cooking column!
lucky bastard!
"Man's $4,000 lottery win becomes $4M"
well isn't that just oh-so nice for him...
i'd be happy just to win $100! but alas, i never seem to win...
you know who i really hate? those multiple winners! the people who've won significant sums more than once! what are the odds? really... there should be a rule when you can only win big once! also, if you've already won multiple millions in your first win, why would you continue to buy lottery tickets? leave the luck for other who haven't had their turn yet!
well isn't that just oh-so nice for him...
i'd be happy just to win $100! but alas, i never seem to win...
you know who i really hate? those multiple winners! the people who've won significant sums more than once! what are the odds? really... there should be a rule when you can only win big once! also, if you've already won multiple millions in your first win, why would you continue to buy lottery tickets? leave the luck for other who haven't had their turn yet!
Monday, October 1, 2007
celebuspawn
blagh!!!
if you value your vision, i suggest you not click here but i know you're now probably dying of curiosity so you'll click anyway!
rumer willis, i command you to grow out your hair, dye it back to a normal shade, and please, please, PLEASE (!!!) find yourself a larger top!
if you value your vision, i suggest you not click here but i know you're now probably dying of curiosity so you'll click anyway!
rumer willis, i command you to grow out your hair, dye it back to a normal shade, and please, please, PLEASE (!!!) find yourself a larger top!
trouble, trouble, trouble...
"Pamela Anderson to wed"
~shiver~
did anyone else have trouble reading that line without feeling cold dread build in the pit of your stomach?
rick salomon? rick salomon?!? eww...
if she didn't already have hepatitis, she would surely get it from this guy! (no...? too soon?)
but what is it about him (or her for that matter... i mean, besides the rack) that attracts the women? well, they're not exactly the cream of the crop (no pun intended...) so i guess they're always someone for everyone... salomon has previously been linked with paris hilton and shannen doherty so pam isn't too far off the beaten track for him...
~shiver~
did anyone else have trouble reading that line without feeling cold dread build in the pit of your stomach?
rick salomon? rick salomon?!? eww...
if she didn't already have hepatitis, she would surely get it from this guy! (no...? too soon?)
but what is it about him (or her for that matter... i mean, besides the rack) that attracts the women? well, they're not exactly the cream of the crop (no pun intended...) so i guess they're always someone for everyone... salomon has previously been linked with paris hilton and shannen doherty so pam isn't too far off the beaten track for him...
and we care why?
"U.S. man skips stone 51 times on water"
yeah... and?
does this really constitute news?
who makes a living reporting on shit like this? it must be soul-crushing...
yeah... and?
does this really constitute news?
who makes a living reporting on shit like this? it must be soul-crushing...
suckers!
"28 drivers charged under new street racing law"
Vehicles impounded and driver's licences suspended for 7 days
this is all well and good but where are the police when i get buzzed by a car ripping by me when i'm already considerable breaking the law? or when you're legally passing someone and you're getting high-beamed from the @SShole behind you who just can't wait 5 more seconds??
also, how do you go about "popping wheelies" in your suped up civic?
Vehicles impounded and driver's licences suspended for 7 days
this is all well and good but where are the police when i get buzzed by a car ripping by me when i'm already considerable breaking the law? or when you're legally passing someone and you're getting high-beamed from the @SShole behind you who just can't wait 5 more seconds??
also, how do you go about "popping wheelies" in your suped up civic?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)