as whiny and selfish as that bitch (and criminal*) might have been, i'm siding with her now because i'm about to complain about something that everyone always chides me about - the weather.
the temperature is too hot... the temperature is too cold...
fuck you all. i'm complaining about the weather.
what happened to summer?
it was down right chilly this morning!
after a sweltering summer vacation in the city, it looks like summer is packing its bags and getting ready to head out.
while it was feeling like autumn overnight, i actually don't know if it's warmed up yet today... the weather network says it's like 20 out there now and projected to go up to 24 this afternoon. but instead of frolicking in the glorious sunshine, i'm sitting at my desk shivering and trying to warm myself with the glow of my computer monitor... clearly, my building's environmental controls still think the sun is set to frazzle.
don't get me wrong, i know it takes A LOT of energy and a fair amount of time to change the temperature of an entire building and yet here i am complaining... this happens every time the outside temperature changes more than infinitesimally. so really, there's nothing i can do other than whine. and demand porridge.
______________________________
* so everyone in the goldilocks story is a criminal... goldilocks can add breaking & entering to her rap sheet as well as property destruction and theft. and the bears? murder. ok, so that doesn't happen in all of the versions of the story... but if you think about it, do you think you'd escape with your life if you were sleeping in a grizzly bear's den when they came home? yeah, goldilocks getting eaten by the bears is the logical conclusion to the story - after all, they'd be hungry considering she ate all their delicious, delicious porridge.
in the end, aside from teaching children about opposites (hot-cold, hard-soft), what lessons is this story really teaching?? a little girl breaks into a house that's not hers, eats food that's not hers, breaks furniture that's (you guessed it) not hers. and then instead of doing the smart thing and getting the fuck outta dodge, she takes a nap, in plain view. if you go with the family-friendly ending, she wakes up when the bears come home and runs away. so at most, the consequence for all her criminal activity is that she gets scared.
moral of the story: do anything you want and everything will be fine so long as you don't get caught... except she DID get caught! the bears caught her sleeping in their house with porridge crust stuck in the corners of her mouth! call the fucking police!
horatio caine: when we catch this criminal, the punishment's going to be juuust right.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
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