Wednesday, June 30, 2010
happy (early) canada day!
word of the day - jun 30 10
1. of, pertaining to, or maintained by a nation as an organized whole or independent political unit: national affairs.
2. owned, preserved, or maintained by the federal government: a national wildlife refuge.
3. peculiar or common to the whole people of a country: national customs.
4. devoted to one's own nation, its interests, etc.; patriotic: to stir up national pride.
5. nationalist
6. concerning or encompassing en entire nation: a national radio network.
7. limited to one nation.
noun
8. a citizen or subject of a particular nation who is entitled to its protection: Canadian nationals living abroad.
9. often, nationals. a national competition, tournament, or the like: We're invited to Ottawa for the nationals.
10. a national company or organization
brain broken
no matter how many times i look at the title of this twilight-flavoured news bite (ha!) i ALWAYS misread it...
in my mind it says "Lautner stunned by fat fan"
Lautner stunned by fan tat
in my mind it says "Lautner stunned by fat fan"
Monday, June 28, 2010
employee of the month
Woman set office fire to go home early
NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla., June 24 (UPI) -- A Florida woman accused of starting an office fire to get sent home early with pay pleaded guilty to criminal mischief.
The Pasco County Sheriff's Office said Michelle Perrino, 40, drew suspicion during a meeting of Bayonet Point Oxygen employees when she mentioned the May 12, 2009, fire had started in a filing cabinet before workers had been informed of the fire's origins, the St. Petersburg Times reported Thursday.
Investigators said a friend of Perrino told them she had admitted to tripping the main circuit breaker and adjusting phones to block incoming calls in bids to go home early without sacrificing the day's pay.
Perrino was sentenced to 9 months imprisonment followed by 5 years of probation. She was also ordered to pay Bayonet Point Oxygen $4,800 in restitution and banned from contacting the company or its employees.
NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla., June 24 (UPI) -- A Florida woman accused of starting an office fire to get sent home early with pay pleaded guilty to criminal mischief.
The Pasco County Sheriff's Office said Michelle Perrino, 40, drew suspicion during a meeting of Bayonet Point Oxygen employees when she mentioned the May 12, 2009, fire had started in a filing cabinet before workers had been informed of the fire's origins, the St. Petersburg Times reported Thursday.
Investigators said a friend of Perrino told them she had admitted to tripping the main circuit breaker and adjusting phones to block incoming calls in bids to go home early without sacrificing the day's pay.
Perrino was sentenced to 9 months imprisonment followed by 5 years of probation. She was also ordered to pay Bayonet Point Oxygen $4,800 in restitution and banned from contacting the company or its employees.
Friday, June 25, 2010
because i am totally good at remembering...
earlier last week i posted a little brain teaser about the lesser known full names of fictional characters and just in case you've been pulling your hair out from the stress of not knowing them all, here are the answers:
1. Patricia Reinchardt
E. Peppermint Patty
2. Edgar Mallory
I. The policeman from the game Monopoly
3. Bernie Liederkrantz
D. Guy Smiley from Sesame Street
4. Jonas Grumby
J. The Skipper from Gilligan's Island
5. Noreville Rogers
F. Shaggy from Scooby-Doo
6. Jeff Albertson
C. Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons
7. Barbara Millicent Roberts
A. Barbie
8. Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs
K. The Wizard from The Wizard of Oz
9. Salvatore Assante
L. Turtle from Entourage
10. Nostradamus Shannon
B. Bull from Night Court
11. John Reid
G. The Lone Ranger
12. Cavity Sam
H. The patient from the game Operation
1. Patricia Reinchardt
E. Peppermint Patty
2. Edgar Mallory
I. The policeman from the game Monopoly
3. Bernie Liederkrantz
D. Guy Smiley from Sesame Street
4. Jonas Grumby
J. The Skipper from Gilligan's Island
5. Noreville Rogers
F. Shaggy from Scooby-Doo
6. Jeff Albertson
C. Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons
7. Barbara Millicent Roberts
A. Barbie
8. Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs
K. The Wizard from The Wizard of Oz
9. Salvatore Assante
L. Turtle from Entourage
10. Nostradamus Shannon
B. Bull from Night Court
11. John Reid
G. The Lone Ranger
12. Cavity Sam
H. The patient from the game Operation
word of the day - jun 25 10
1. obvious and intentional exaggeration.
2. an extravagant statement or figure of speech not intended to be taken literally, as "to wait an eternity."
making your friday even better
if you thought today was already awesome enough because it was friday then be prepared to have your mind blown because things are about to get better. what would you say if i told you that today, a perfectly awesome friday, could be made better by LOL-ing yourself until you soiled yourself? "FUCK YEAH!" is what you should say... ok, so i may have exaggerated about the soiling yourself part but if you REALLY wanted to, you could wait until you really had to pee before reading this blog post:
Sneaky Hate Spiral
i LOL-ed, i snorted, i chuckled... all while sitting in my cubicle attempting to convince society i am one of its valuable members by virtue of having a job, creating commerce, and generally keeping the earth spinning on its axis.
just like with the cookies, it's hardly my fault... how can i be expected to keep my "professional" facade when presented with something like this:
or this:
or this:
seriously!
go, read the post, and make your friday and even better day.
in case of emergency, for making other lesser days (i'm looking at you, tuesday) more awesome, you can check out the entire blog here:
Hyperbole and a Half
Sneaky Hate Spiral
i LOL-ed, i snorted, i chuckled... all while sitting in my cubicle attempting to convince society i am one of its valuable members by virtue of having a job, creating commerce, and generally keeping the earth spinning on its axis.
just like with the cookies, it's hardly my fault... how can i be expected to keep my "professional" facade when presented with something like this:
go, read the post, and make your friday and even better day.
in case of emergency, for making other lesser days (i'm looking at you, tuesday) more awesome, you can check out the entire blog here:
Hyperbole and a Half
this ALWAYS happens!
technically, yes, i don't HAVE TO eat all the delicious chocolates ones in a single sitting but if i leave them in there, i run the risk of someone else getting their hands on them and me having to choke down one of the other types of "cookies" that come in the package.
how come they sell those stupid ones with the jam in them separately and none of the others?
Thursday, June 24, 2010
yuck factor of the day
isn't this grainy painting by san fancisco artist chris trueman lovely and rustic? artists these days... they are SO creative with their media.
Painting Made from 200,000 Ants
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
word of the day - jun 23 10
1. protection or security against damage or loss.
2. compensation for damage or loss sustained.
3. something paid by way of such compensation.
4. legal exemption from penalties attaching to unconstitutional or illegal actions, granted to public officers and other persons.
shake, rattle & roll
EARTHQUAKE!
that's right folks... southern ontario just had an earthquake!
HERE is what the US geological survey had to say about it.
5.5 magnitude quake centered north of ottawa, 15.7km deep.
that's a BIGGIE for this area!
heard it through the grapevine... i've heard from people that the tremors were felt from windsor over into quebec, and from sudbury down to pittsburgh. craziness!
my whole building and the surrounding ones were all evacuated for about half an hour... i guess someone finally (arbitrarily?) decided it was okay to go back inside and here i am!
that's right folks... southern ontario just had an earthquake!
HERE is what the US geological survey had to say about it.
5.5 magnitude quake centered north of ottawa, 15.7km deep.
that's a BIGGIE for this area!
heard it through the grapevine... i've heard from people that the tremors were felt from windsor over into quebec, and from sudbury down to pittsburgh. craziness!
my whole building and the surrounding ones were all evacuated for about half an hour... i guess someone finally (arbitrarily?) decided it was okay to go back inside and here i am!
belarus: full of elderly prudes?
ok, so that sounds overly inflammatory i suppose... but that's just what this story makes me think. i know people have different ideas in different parts of the world and north america IS just a giant cesspool of filth and immorality... being a "liberal young person," this kind of thing just brings out the shit-disturbing activist in me.
Belarus officials fear promotion of gay lifestyle at Elton John gig
Officials in Belarus have asked the organizers of an upcoming Elton John concert in Minsk to prevent the promotion of homosexuality.
The Public Council for Morality is to study recordings of earlier performances by the British singer to make sure “they have no elements inconsistent with the law and morality,” the head of the organization said.
“We have requested the organizers of the concert to give us records of Elton John’s earlier performances,” he said.
[what? they don't have youtube?]
Nikolai Cherginets said the Council is particularly concerned over the openly gay singer’s statement in an interview with a U.S. magazine that Jesus was a "super-intelligent gay man."
[ok, that might be poking the bear *snicker* a little much for the churchies, elton...]
Elton John will play at the Minsk Arena on June 26 as part of his European summer tour.
Sexual minorities have become active in the country of late and “even attempted to hold a gay parade in Minsk,” Cherginets said. The attempted parade was broken up by police.
Cherginets said the Council had already prevented outbreaks of “immorality” during a May concert by German industrial metal band Rammstein in the Belarusian capital.
“If we had not interfered, there would have been sex on stage and the relief of physical needs right in front of the audience,” the official said.
[heavens! not the relief of physical needs!]
The Public Council for Morality was established in 2009 by the Belarusian Orthodox Church and the Writers Union of Belarus, with the support of President Alexander Lukashenko.
Belarus officials fear promotion of gay lifestyle at Elton John gig
Officials in Belarus have asked the organizers of an upcoming Elton John concert in Minsk to prevent the promotion of homosexuality.
The Public Council for Morality is to study recordings of earlier performances by the British singer to make sure “they have no elements inconsistent with the law and morality,” the head of the organization said.
“We have requested the organizers of the concert to give us records of Elton John’s earlier performances,” he said.
[what? they don't have youtube?]
Nikolai Cherginets said the Council is particularly concerned over the openly gay singer’s statement in an interview with a U.S. magazine that Jesus was a "super-intelligent gay man."
[ok, that might be poking the bear *snicker* a little much for the churchies, elton...]
Elton John will play at the Minsk Arena on June 26 as part of his European summer tour.
Sexual minorities have become active in the country of late and “even attempted to hold a gay parade in Minsk,” Cherginets said. The attempted parade was broken up by police.
Cherginets said the Council had already prevented outbreaks of “immorality” during a May concert by German industrial metal band Rammstein in the Belarusian capital.
“If we had not interfered, there would have been sex on stage and the relief of physical needs right in front of the audience,” the official said.
[heavens! not the relief of physical needs!]
The Public Council for Morality was established in 2009 by the Belarusian Orthodox Church and the Writers Union of Belarus, with the support of President Alexander Lukashenko.
obesity epidemic? nonsense!
Friendly's Grilled Cheese BurgerMelt
This is the BurgerMelt to end all BurgerMelts. We place a think and juicy 100% Black Angus Big Beef Burger between two whole grilled cheese sandwiches, complete with lettuce, tomato and mayo. You'll have to taste it to believe it.
well thank goodness they managed to sneak that lettuce and tomato in there or else ordering this sandwich would need to come with a coupon for a free quadruple bypass instead of just a double bypass.
i think you could just save yourself the hassle of finding a friendly's restaurant and the incovininece of an extended hospital stay and just stuff a double down sandwich inside a baconator.
well thank goodness they managed to sneak that lettuce and tomato in there or else ordering this sandwich would need to come with a coupon for a free quadruple bypass instead of just a double bypass.
i think you could just save yourself the hassle of finding a friendly's restaurant and the incovininece of an extended hospital stay and just stuff a double down sandwich inside a baconator.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
WANT!
you may or may not remember my earlier post about the grammar-loving alot (you should totally remember it because it was awesome!) but in case you forgot, here's a little reminder:
It has become almost fun for me to come across people who take the phrase "a lot" and condense it down into one word, because when someone says "alot," this is what i imagine:
The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people's grammar. It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak, and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I'd normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.
a few examples to clear up any confusion:
so yeah, now you're all caught up on what alots are all about...
now on to the WANT part!
i WANT this crocheted alot!!!
i KNOW there are some crochet-savvy people (unlike me who is failing miserably at learning to crochet) who could totally make this!!! a shiny nickel to whoever makes me one!
It has become almost fun for me to come across people who take the phrase "a lot" and condense it down into one word, because when someone says "alot," this is what i imagine:
The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people's grammar. It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak, and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I'd normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.
a few examples to clear up any confusion:
now on to the WANT part!
i WANT this crocheted alot!!!
Friday, June 18, 2010
word of the day - jun 18 10
adumbrate
verb
1. to foreshadow; prefigure.
2. to produce a faint image or resemblance of; to outline or sketch.
3. to darken or conceal partially; overshadow.
verb
1. to foreshadow; prefigure.
2. to produce a faint image or resemblance of; to outline or sketch.
3. to darken or conceal partially; overshadow.
stranger things...
"stranger things have happened" is how the saying goes... THIS might be one of those stranger things that they're referring to.
German student attacks Hell's Angels with puppy
(Reuters) - A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria after making a rude gesture at a group of Hell's Angels motorcycle gang members, hurling a puppy at them and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer.
German police said on Monday that after making his getaway from the Hell's Angels club, the 26-year-old dumped the bulldozer, causing a 5 km (3 miles) traffic jam near the southern town of Allershausen, local police said. He then fled to his home nearby where he was apprehended by the police.
"What motivated him to throw a puppy at the Hell's Angels is currently unclear," said a spokesman for local police, adding that the student had lately been suffering from depression.
The puppy was now in safe hands, the spokesman added.
German student attacks Hell's Angels with puppy
(Reuters) - A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria after making a rude gesture at a group of Hell's Angels motorcycle gang members, hurling a puppy at them and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer.
German police said on Monday that after making his getaway from the Hell's Angels club, the 26-year-old dumped the bulldozer, causing a 5 km (3 miles) traffic jam near the southern town of Allershausen, local police said. He then fled to his home nearby where he was apprehended by the police.
"What motivated him to throw a puppy at the Hell's Angels is currently unclear," said a spokesman for local police, adding that the student had lately been suffering from depression.
The puppy was now in safe hands, the spokesman added.
the promiscuity of youth these days
she made him an offer he couldn't refuse?
Man claims cow seduced him for sex
An 18-year-old Indonesian man says he was seduced by a cow, and that's why he was having sex with it.
A neighbour caught Gusti Ngurah Alit allegedly wooing the farm animal on Sunday, the village chief on the resort island of Bali said, the Times newspaper in Johannesburg, South Africa reported Friday.
"He was caught by one of the residents standing naked while holding the back of the cow," village chief Embang Ida Bagus Legawa said in the newspaper.
Alit said he didn't see an animal, he saw a beautiful young woman.
"She called my name and seduced me, so I had sex with her," the man told the newspaper.
Alit underwent a cleansing ritual. The village chief gave the owner of the cow the equivalent of $562.
The cow was reportedly drowned in the sea to rid the village of bad luck.
Man claims cow seduced him for sex
An 18-year-old Indonesian man says he was seduced by a cow, and that's why he was having sex with it.
A neighbour caught Gusti Ngurah Alit allegedly wooing the farm animal on Sunday, the village chief on the resort island of Bali said, the Times newspaper in Johannesburg, South Africa reported Friday.
"He was caught by one of the residents standing naked while holding the back of the cow," village chief Embang Ida Bagus Legawa said in the newspaper.
Alit said he didn't see an animal, he saw a beautiful young woman.
"She called my name and seduced me, so I had sex with her," the man told the newspaper.
Alit underwent a cleansing ritual. The village chief gave the owner of the cow the equivalent of $562.
The cow was reportedly drowned in the sea to rid the village of bad luck.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
word of the day - jun 17 10
oscitant
adjective
1. yawning, as with drowsiness; gaping.
2. drowsy or inattentive.
3. dull, lazy, or negligent.
adjective
1. yawning, as with drowsiness; gaping.
2. drowsy or inattentive.
3. dull, lazy, or negligent.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
who?
see if you can match up these full names to some of your favourite fictional characters:
1. Patricia Reinchardt
2. Edgar Mallory
3. Bernie Liederkrantz
4. Jonas Grumby
5. Norville Rogers
6. Jeff Albertson
7. Barbara Millicent Roberts
8. Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs
9. Salvatore Assante
10. Nostradamus Shannon
11. John Reid
12. Cavity Sam
A. Barbie
B. Bull from Night Court
C. Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons
D. Guy Smiley from Sesame Street
E. Peppermint Patty
F. Shaggy from Scooby-Doo
G. The Lone Ranger
H. The patient from the game Operation
I. The policeman from the game Monopoly
J. The Skipper from Gilligan's Island
K. The Wizard from The Wizard of Oz
L. Turtle from Entourage
1. Patricia Reinchardt
2. Edgar Mallory
3. Bernie Liederkrantz
4. Jonas Grumby
5. Norville Rogers
6. Jeff Albertson
7. Barbara Millicent Roberts
8. Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs
9. Salvatore Assante
10. Nostradamus Shannon
11. John Reid
12. Cavity Sam
A. Barbie
B. Bull from Night Court
C. Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons
D. Guy Smiley from Sesame Street
E. Peppermint Patty
F. Shaggy from Scooby-Doo
G. The Lone Ranger
H. The patient from the game Operation
I. The policeman from the game Monopoly
J. The Skipper from Gilligan's Island
K. The Wizard from The Wizard of Oz
L. Turtle from Entourage
your guess is as good as mine
10 points to the person who can best explain what this cake is supposed to be...
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
word of the day - jun 15 10
bathos
noun
1. triteness or triviality in style.
2. a ludicrous descent from the exalted or lofty to the commonplace; anticlimax.
3. insincere pathos; sentimentality; mawkishness.
noun
1. triteness or triviality in style.
2. a ludicrous descent from the exalted or lofty to the commonplace; anticlimax.
3. insincere pathos; sentimentality; mawkishness.
Friday, June 11, 2010
let them eat cake meat
The World's Most Carnivorous Countries
1. Denmark (321 lbs)
3. Luxembourg (312 lbs)
4. Cyprus (289 lbs)
5. USA! USA! USA! (275 lbs)
damn, USA! you got out-meated by luxembourg?
LUXEMBOURG!!!
it's one of the smallest nations in the world!
i guess the difference between the US and luxembourg is that americans will keep 200 of those pounds on their bodies in fat while luxembourgians (???) will work it all off...
1. Denmark (321 lbs)
According to the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations, the average Dane devours 321 lbs. of meat a year.2. New Zealand (313 lbs)
3. Luxembourg (312 lbs)
4. Cyprus (289 lbs)
5. USA! USA! USA! (275 lbs)
damn, USA! you got out-meated by luxembourg?
LUXEMBOURG!!!
it's one of the smallest nations in the world!
i guess the difference between the US and luxembourg is that americans will keep 200 of those pounds on their bodies in fat while luxembourgians (???) will work it all off...
word of the day - jun 11 10
apathy
noun
1. absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.
2. lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.
noun
1. absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.
2. lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.
Monday, June 7, 2010
mr. t pities the fool...
...who went to see the new (and horrible looking) a-team movie! HA!
"People die in the film and there's plenty of sex but when we did it, no one got hurt and it was all played for fun and family entertainment. These seem to be elements nobody is interested in anymore.
It was too graphic for me. I've no doubt it will do big business at the box office but it's nothing like the show we turned out every week."
Mr. T blasts A-Team movie
"People die in the film and there's plenty of sex but when we did it, no one got hurt and it was all played for fun and family entertainment. These seem to be elements nobody is interested in anymore.
It was too graphic for me. I've no doubt it will do big business at the box office but it's nothing like the show we turned out every week."
Mr. T blasts A-Team movie
smiles!
apparently, if you lose your balloon at disneyland you can go to city hall on main street and tell them what happened, you'll get a voucher for a replacement balloon! no more tears!
follow the leader, leader, leader, leader...
not entirely sure why but i find this utterly fascinating...
Why would fish follow a robot?
NYU (US) -- Forget artificial intelligence. How about artificial leadership? A mechanical engineer at New York University is combining smart materials and mathmatics to build robots tat lead schooling fish.
Someday, Maurizio Porfiri, assistant professor of mechanical engineering at NYU’s Polytechnic Institute, hopes the robots could lead fish away from the turbines of power plants.
Why would fish follow a robot?
NYU (US) -- Forget artificial intelligence. How about artificial leadership? A mechanical engineer at New York University is combining smart materials and mathmatics to build robots tat lead schooling fish.
Someday, Maurizio Porfiri, assistant professor of mechanical engineering at NYU’s Polytechnic Institute, hopes the robots could lead fish away from the turbines of power plants.
Friday, June 4, 2010
AWOL
apathy on friday, a lackluster monday, and complete lack of internet on tuesday has kind of killed my will to post over the last week... many apologies for being too disenchanted with the idea of writing to cure your boredom. hopefully you've fended for yourselves and managed to go no less insane in the past few days.
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