bumptious
adjective
crudely, presumptuously, or loudly self-assertive.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
irrational thinking
went to see franz ferdinand (again) at the kool haus last night...
awesome show, no denying that. they are SO much better live than you could ever imagine listening to their studio albums.
a whole night in an enclosed space with many, many people in close quarters and i'm less worried about contracting swine flu than i am about getting a seriously nasty case of douche bag.
i was drenched in sweat by the end of the night and not even close to half of it was mine... yummy.
the music/performance part was almost completely engrossing...
i only had 2 other clear thoughts floating through my head:
1. are these guys daring you to try and get a good picture? what's with all the back lighting and playing in shadows?
2. an overwhelming urge to chew my gum into the hair of the girl in front of me... i suppressed that urge and just elbowed her in the back when she repeatedly jumped on my feet. i like to think of it this way: i stimulated the economy by giving her chiropractor work.
awesome show, no denying that. they are SO much better live than you could ever imagine listening to their studio albums.
a whole night in an enclosed space with many, many people in close quarters and i'm less worried about contracting swine flu than i am about getting a seriously nasty case of douche bag.i was drenched in sweat by the end of the night and not even close to half of it was mine... yummy.
the music/performance part was almost completely engrossing...
i only had 2 other clear thoughts floating through my head:
1. are these guys daring you to try and get a good picture? what's with all the back lighting and playing in shadows?
2. an overwhelming urge to chew my gum into the hair of the girl in front of me... i suppressed that urge and just elbowed her in the back when she repeatedly jumped on my feet. i like to think of it this way: i stimulated the economy by giving her chiropractor work.
Monday, May 4, 2009
what IS that?
a marshmallow?a smooth igloo against a perfect blue sky?
something from the newest pixar movie?
a blowup of mickey mouse's gloved hand?
whatever it is can't be real, right?
would you ever in a million years guess that it was someone's hips? in an actual photograph?!?
yeah... something looks a little fishy here... and when i say 'a little fishy' i really mean 'obviously photoshopped without regard to the intelligence of the people who are going to believe she really is THAT slim'... realistic photoshop fail!
yeah, i could have done a more convincing job using ms paint...
that's jessica simpson, digitally trimmed and toned from the neck down for the upcoming issue of vanity fair.
word of the day - may 4 09
risible
adjective
1. capable of laughing; disposed to laugh.
2. exciting or provoking laughter; worthy of laughter; amusing.
3. relating to, connected with, or used in laughter; as, "risible muscles."
adjective
1. capable of laughing; disposed to laugh.
2. exciting or provoking laughter; worthy of laughter; amusing.
3. relating to, connected with, or used in laughter; as, "risible muscles."
Friday, May 1, 2009
done like dinner
i think my brain has already checked out for the weekend.
actually, i think it checked out monday afternoon...
actually, i think it checked out monday afternoon...
the wedding planner
hilariously photoshopped or not, this couple definitely should have gone with the shrek-themed wedding...
here's a question:
why is there a wheelchair-accessible stall in a bathroom that isn't wheelchair-accessible? i can't believe i just noticed this...
i know i use the wheelchair stall from time to time so it's a little hypocritical but wouldn't it be awesome to get a wheelchair and sit there waiting outside the wheelchair stall while someone uses it? when they came out, they'd be SO ashamed and embarrassed. i'd be so amused that i'd have a hard time keeping a straight face! who wants in on this plan with me? we'll also be needing a kangaroo and a kayak...
i know i use the wheelchair stall from time to time so it's a little hypocritical but wouldn't it be awesome to get a wheelchair and sit there waiting outside the wheelchair stall while someone uses it? when they came out, they'd be SO ashamed and embarrassed. i'd be so amused that i'd have a hard time keeping a straight face! who wants in on this plan with me? we'll also be needing a kangaroo and a kayak...
are you concerned? i'm concerned.
did you know that the FDA had a criterion called GRAS?
do you know what GRAS stands for?
G enerally
R egarded
A s
S afe
oh yeah, that... yeah, i guess you could eat that. you probably won't get sick.
do you know what GRAS stands for?
G enerally
R egarded
A s
S afe
oh yeah, that... yeah, i guess you could eat that. you probably won't get sick.
food colouring
heard of the all white diet? you know, the one where you only eat white foods? my sister wanted to try it a little while back and my mom laughed at her...
anyway... i'm going on a new diet - the no red diet.
Carmine - According to the FDA, this red food coloring (also known as cochineal extract) is made from dried, ground bugs.
The Dactylopius coccus costa insect is native to Peru and the Canary Islands, where it feeds on red berries. The berries accumulate in the females' stomachs and in their unhatched larvae—which is what gives the extract its red coloring.
Carmine is one of the most widely used coloring agents, and food manufacturers routinely use it to turn foods shades of pink, red, or purple. Chances are it's what makes the color of your strawberry yogurt or that cranberry drink look so appealing.
But the problem is that at the moment, you have no way of knowing if you're ingesting these little red bugs. Instead, the label will simply read, "artificial color" or "color added." But the Vegetarian Legal Action Network petitioned the FDA to disclose the presence of carmine, and in 2010, that requirement will go into effect." But it will still be listed only as carmine or cochineal extract, with no mention of the ingredient's source," says Michael Jacobson, Ph.D., executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest. "The onus will be on the consumer to know what carmine is, and that's asking a lot."
anyway... i'm going on a new diet - the no red diet.
Carmine - According to the FDA, this red food coloring (also known as cochineal extract) is made from dried, ground bugs.
The Dactylopius coccus costa insect is native to Peru and the Canary Islands, where it feeds on red berries. The berries accumulate in the females' stomachs and in their unhatched larvae—which is what gives the extract its red coloring.
Carmine is one of the most widely used coloring agents, and food manufacturers routinely use it to turn foods shades of pink, red, or purple. Chances are it's what makes the color of your strawberry yogurt or that cranberry drink look so appealing.
But the problem is that at the moment, you have no way of knowing if you're ingesting these little red bugs. Instead, the label will simply read, "artificial color" or "color added." But the Vegetarian Legal Action Network petitioned the FDA to disclose the presence of carmine, and in 2010, that requirement will go into effect." But it will still be listed only as carmine or cochineal extract, with no mention of the ingredient's source," says Michael Jacobson, Ph.D., executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest. "The onus will be on the consumer to know what carmine is, and that's asking a lot."
doctor, why do i smell like cheese?
you know when you open up the msn home page or something similar and it has new headlines, weather, and random other stuff that it thinks the common person might find interesting? yeah well, i saw this and couldn't resist...
Q: In the last three months, my husband has started sweathing profusely when he is asleep. His sweat has a strong cheesy smell and I can no longer tolerate it. His hygiene is perfect. He is in his fifties. I'm afraid this could be a sign of somethign serious. What can it be?
first off, if you're concerned about something serious, maybe you should go talk to a REAL LIVE DOCTOR rather than consulting the internet...
secondly, did you know that sweaty men tend to smell like cheese and sweaty women smell like onions or grapefruit? they did a study. who is 'they' you ask? the swiss! look it up, beyotch!
thirdly, if you want to read about what internet doctor has to say, you're going to have to follow this link because i'm too lazy to post the whole thing.
Q: In the last three months, my husband has started sweathing profusely when he is asleep. His sweat has a strong cheesy smell and I can no longer tolerate it. His hygiene is perfect. He is in his fifties. I'm afraid this could be a sign of somethign serious. What can it be?
first off, if you're concerned about something serious, maybe you should go talk to a REAL LIVE DOCTOR rather than consulting the internet...
secondly, did you know that sweaty men tend to smell like cheese and sweaty women smell like onions or grapefruit? they did a study. who is 'they' you ask? the swiss! look it up, beyotch!
thirdly, if you want to read about what internet doctor has to say, you're going to have to follow this link because i'm too lazy to post the whole thing.
dead zone
my signal dead zone of an office building managed to kill my fully charged cell phone within 5 hours this morning. that's a new record!
procrastination 101
so most of this week i've been glued to this new-to-me site i found... fmylife.com
it's a collection of really short stories about how other peoples' lives suck. if you're feeling down, it's a really great pick-me-up! it has stories like these:
today, i finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. i was excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML
today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. it was really cute and i always borrow his shirts so i asked to borrow his new one. he replied with, "okay but please don't stretch this one." FML
today, i was snuggling with my neighbours' four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. i fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML
today, as i was washing the dishes, i felt what i thought was a mosquito on my leg. i kicked at it with my foot only to realize that i had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. now, whenever i come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
today, i was cutting a bagel only to slice the back of my hand with a knife. as i grabbed paper towels to clean up the blood, i noticed that the bagel was pre-sliced. FML
and so on... hours of entertainment... addictive entertainment...
bad news for productivity.
and just when i thought i'd beaten my addiction and resolved myself to doing work, i found a new site to occupy my time. frigginrandom.com
i'm pretty sure i went through ALL the existing pages (like 76 i think...) this morning in between doing little bits of work. if the videos had managed to make it past the work net nanny, it would have taken me oh so much longer than just a morning to get through it all...
allow me to present you with an example of something random that makes the site so much fun:
interestingly enough, this looks like a list i would make to plan out my employed day...
it's a collection of really short stories about how other peoples' lives suck. if you're feeling down, it's a really great pick-me-up! it has stories like these:
today, i finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. i was excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML
today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. it was really cute and i always borrow his shirts so i asked to borrow his new one. he replied with, "okay but please don't stretch this one." FML
today, i was snuggling with my neighbours' four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. i fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML
today, as i was washing the dishes, i felt what i thought was a mosquito on my leg. i kicked at it with my foot only to realize that i had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. now, whenever i come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
today, i was cutting a bagel only to slice the back of my hand with a knife. as i grabbed paper towels to clean up the blood, i noticed that the bagel was pre-sliced. FML
and so on... hours of entertainment... addictive entertainment...
bad news for productivity.
and just when i thought i'd beaten my addiction and resolved myself to doing work, i found a new site to occupy my time. frigginrandom.com
i'm pretty sure i went through ALL the existing pages (like 76 i think...) this morning in between doing little bits of work. if the videos had managed to make it past the work net nanny, it would have taken me oh so much longer than just a morning to get through it all...
allow me to present you with an example of something random that makes the site so much fun:
interestingly enough, this looks like a list i would make to plan out my employed day...
word of the day - may 1 09
gainsay
transitive verb
1. to deny or dispute; to declare flase or invalid.
2. to oppose; to contradict.
transitive verb
1. to deny or dispute; to declare flase or invalid.
2. to oppose; to contradict.
make this, please!
if someone out there were to produce such a thing, i would quit my job and devote the rest of my life to mastering it!**disclaimer** all claims of job quitting are subject to financial review.
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