machination
noun
1. the act of plotting.
2. a crafty scheme; a cunning design or plot intended to accomplish some usually evil end.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
concerned about turtle biodiversity
so i finally got around to putting up my 2010 calendar at work... once again this year, i've opted to go with turtles because they make me happy and i need all the happy i can get at the office.
but when i had the old and new calendars side-by-side i noticed that i might have to be concerned about the biodiversity of turtles! because surely, there must be enough types of turtles out there to fill 24 months... or at least enough pictures of the same type of turtle...
apparently it's not so! not only did they use the exact same picture of a painted wood turtle, they also placed it in the exact same month!
maybe i should be less worried about turtle biodiversity and more worried about the laziness of the people working at the turtle calendar factory...
but when i had the old and new calendars side-by-side i noticed that i might have to be concerned about the biodiversity of turtles! because surely, there must be enough types of turtles out there to fill 24 months... or at least enough pictures of the same type of turtle...
apparently it's not so! not only did they use the exact same picture of a painted wood turtle, they also placed it in the exact same month!maybe i should be less worried about turtle biodiversity and more worried about the laziness of the people working at the turtle calendar factory...
FOOD FIGHT!
today, you get a 2 for 1 deal!
"Alaska man jailed for throwing taco"
FAIRBANKS, Alaska (AP) — An Alaska man who hit a Taco Bell manager in the face with a double-decker taco has been sentenced to one day in jail and one year probation.
Warren Strickland of Fairbanks must also pay a $100 fine after pleading guilty Tuesday to disorderly conduct.
The 31-year-old says he threw the taco because it contained spit after he went through the drive-thru twice because the restaurant messed up his order. He claims the manager accused him of lying to get free food.
Strickland is barred from Taco Bell during his year of probation.
"Police: Crabby customer slugs grocery clerk"
SANDUSKY, Ohio (AP) — Police say a man in Ohio got so upset over a mistake on the price of crab cakes that he punched a grocery store manager several times and spit in his face.
Authorities in Sandusky arrested 61-year-old Ralph Barr on charges of assault and criminal damaging.
Police say the store made a mistake in the price of crab cakes and offered to sell the first pound at a discounted price but the rest at the correct price.
The store manager says he was punched five or six times and head-butted.
Barr told police that the manager hit him with a price gun, but witnesses said the manager didn’t fight back.
A message seeking comment was left Wednesday at Barr’s home.
"Alaska man jailed for throwing taco"
FAIRBANKS, Alaska (AP) — An Alaska man who hit a Taco Bell manager in the face with a double-decker taco has been sentenced to one day in jail and one year probation.
Warren Strickland of Fairbanks must also pay a $100 fine after pleading guilty Tuesday to disorderly conduct.
The 31-year-old says he threw the taco because it contained spit after he went through the drive-thru twice because the restaurant messed up his order. He claims the manager accused him of lying to get free food.
Strickland is barred from Taco Bell during his year of probation.
"Police: Crabby customer slugs grocery clerk"SANDUSKY, Ohio (AP) — Police say a man in Ohio got so upset over a mistake on the price of crab cakes that he punched a grocery store manager several times and spit in his face.
Authorities in Sandusky arrested 61-year-old Ralph Barr on charges of assault and criminal damaging.
Police say the store made a mistake in the price of crab cakes and offered to sell the first pound at a discounted price but the rest at the correct price.
The store manager says he was punched five or six times and head-butted.
Barr told police that the manager hit him with a price gun, but witnesses said the manager didn’t fight back.
A message seeking comment was left Wednesday at Barr’s home.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
and you thought the body scanners were bad...
"Security at Pearson more like harassment, expert says"
so this purported 'guru' of airport security doesn't like the way pearson is being run. apparently he also helped design the security system at the highly successful ben gurion airport in tel aviv. anyway, he's got all these marvelous suggestions on how to make toronto's major airport a better place to fly. the airport can be more efficient using "'security circles,' layers of surveillance that screen travellers well before they reach the security gate."
ZONE 1
electronic 'gateways' with cameras and licence plate recognition, similar to 407's electronic toll system, would be used to single out stolen cars and anyone with outstanding warrants. 'sniffing technologies' would be used to search for drugs and explosives.
what about terrorists who don't steal cars or have outstanding warrants? what about normal people with warrants for things like outstanding parking tickets? what about all those cars circling the airport waiting to pick people up? what about the fact that the 407 system is not perfect and routinely misses cars entering/exiting the highway...?
ZONE 2
at airport entrances, uniformed and undercover analysts and video cameras assess the behaviour of people entering the airport. apparently, simple things like "looking nervous or sweating" makes you a terrorist...
what about people who are nervous about flying? don't like crowds? have never been to the airport before? all these things could easily have you getting an invasive cavity search in an intimidating white room.
ZONE 3
passengers are further behaviourally analyzed as they check in at automatic kiosks. fingerprinting, face and iris recognition, typing rhythm and voice intonation will be analyzed. this airport expert guy says that "99.99% of the bad people have already been caught" by this point in the process.
yeah, 99.99% of the bad people have been caught but so have 99.99% of the normal people! anyone is bound to be nervous and display abnormal behaviour knowing that they are under so much scrutiny! i get paranoid when the people i travel with are joking about bombs, etc. at the airport! i keep telling them, "you can't use those words at an airport! they are going to come for you any minute now!"
ZONE 4
a passenger's identity, boarding and baggage information are all digitally cross-checked before they get on the plane. the expert guy says that currently "there's nothing to stop a passenger from obtaining multiple boarding passes and then deciding at the last minute what flight to board."
ok, this last step sound the most beneficial for security and the least stressful for the passengers... but what about the people who are flying standby?
i'm not saying the system at pearson isn't broken, far from it actually, but i don't think a system like this is necessarily the best idea. and i'm not even suggesting anything better... sure, maybe you'll catch 99.99% of the bad guys but you'll also mistakenly hold up the same percentage of people who are no threat at all. travelling from toronto is a hassle and does take extra time but at least you're not very likely to be detained and treated like a criminal because the airport makes you nervous.
so this purported 'guru' of airport security doesn't like the way pearson is being run. apparently he also helped design the security system at the highly successful ben gurion airport in tel aviv. anyway, he's got all these marvelous suggestions on how to make toronto's major airport a better place to fly. the airport can be more efficient using "'security circles,' layers of surveillance that screen travellers well before they reach the security gate."
ZONE 1
electronic 'gateways' with cameras and licence plate recognition, similar to 407's electronic toll system, would be used to single out stolen cars and anyone with outstanding warrants. 'sniffing technologies' would be used to search for drugs and explosives.
what about terrorists who don't steal cars or have outstanding warrants? what about normal people with warrants for things like outstanding parking tickets? what about all those cars circling the airport waiting to pick people up? what about the fact that the 407 system is not perfect and routinely misses cars entering/exiting the highway...?
ZONE 2
at airport entrances, uniformed and undercover analysts and video cameras assess the behaviour of people entering the airport. apparently, simple things like "looking nervous or sweating" makes you a terrorist...
what about people who are nervous about flying? don't like crowds? have never been to the airport before? all these things could easily have you getting an invasive cavity search in an intimidating white room.
ZONE 3
passengers are further behaviourally analyzed as they check in at automatic kiosks. fingerprinting, face and iris recognition, typing rhythm and voice intonation will be analyzed. this airport expert guy says that "99.99% of the bad people have already been caught" by this point in the process.
yeah, 99.99% of the bad people have been caught but so have 99.99% of the normal people! anyone is bound to be nervous and display abnormal behaviour knowing that they are under so much scrutiny! i get paranoid when the people i travel with are joking about bombs, etc. at the airport! i keep telling them, "you can't use those words at an airport! they are going to come for you any minute now!"
ZONE 4
a passenger's identity, boarding and baggage information are all digitally cross-checked before they get on the plane. the expert guy says that currently "there's nothing to stop a passenger from obtaining multiple boarding passes and then deciding at the last minute what flight to board."
ok, this last step sound the most beneficial for security and the least stressful for the passengers... but what about the people who are flying standby?
i'm not saying the system at pearson isn't broken, far from it actually, but i don't think a system like this is necessarily the best idea. and i'm not even suggesting anything better... sure, maybe you'll catch 99.99% of the bad guys but you'll also mistakenly hold up the same percentage of people who are no threat at all. travelling from toronto is a hassle and does take extra time but at least you're not very likely to be detained and treated like a criminal because the airport makes you nervous.
word of the day - jan 27 10
frangible
adjective
capable of being broken; brittle; fragile; easily broken.
now, what was wrong with the word fragile? was it too short?
you HAD TO add the 'n' and the 'b' to make it a bit longer? make yourself feel a bit smarter because you're using longer words?
confound it, english! you boggle my mind!
adjective
capable of being broken; brittle; fragile; easily broken.
now, what was wrong with the word fragile? was it too short?
you HAD TO add the 'n' and the 'b' to make it a bit longer? make yourself feel a bit smarter because you're using longer words?
confound it, english! you boggle my mind!
breaking news: kayne west wins an oscar
oh wait, it's just his girlfriend amber rose...well, that was anti-climactic.
you may now go back about your normal business.
Monday, January 25, 2010
hannibal lecter's tea party
right, shopping list for teas:~ black tea
~ chinese tea
~ green tea
~ oolong tea
~ white tea
~ roobois tea
~ eyelid tea
~ herbal tea
wait, what was that last one?
herbal tea?
no, the one before that...
roobois?
no...
oh, eyelid tea!
"While there really is no consensus on exactly where the earliest tea plants were grown in Asia and how people got the idea to drink it, there are a number of myths concerning how tea originated and why people started drinking it. One story says that a Buddhist monk named Bodhidharma, the founder of Chan Buddhism, was meditating for nine years, at which point, he fell asleep. The story says he was so upset that he cut off his own eyelids, which took root and grew into the first tea plants. Other versions of the story say that Buddha himself was the one who cut his eye lids off and started the first tea plants."
apparently, january is national hot tea month... so the folks over at neatorama have compiled a little story about all the great things about tea!
word of the day - jan 25 10
plenipotentiary
(plen-uh-puh-TEN-shee-air-ee; -shuh-ree)
adjective
1. containing or conferring full power; invested with full power; as, "plenipotentiary license; plenipotentiary ministers."
noun
1. a person invested with full power to transact any business; especially, an ambassador or diplomatic agent with full power to negotiate a treaty or to transact other business.
(plen-uh-puh-TEN-shee-air-ee; -shuh-ree)
adjective
1. containing or conferring full power; invested with full power; as, "plenipotentiary license; plenipotentiary ministers."
noun
1. a person invested with full power to transact any business; especially, an ambassador or diplomatic agent with full power to negotiate a treaty or to transact other business.
50 years of pop, pop, pop...
who knew!?!bubble wrap turns 50 this year!
did you know that, aside from pictures of rolls of bubble wrap, one of the most common images that comes up when you search for bubble wrap is a woman in a bubble wrap bikini? makes for a not-so-work-appropriate search...
anyway!
"The product once envisioned as a new type of wallpaper turns 50 this month, and enthusiasts' obsession with it has spawned 250 Facebook pages devoted to Bubble Wrap."
yes, because nothing says legitimacy like facebook groups... and if not that, then an iphone app!
"Then there's the true badge of hipness: A bubble-popping application for Apple's iPhone. A piece of Bubble Wrap appears onscreen and you pop as many bubbles as you can in 45 seconds."
i actually played this on a friend's super-phone and it was appallingly addictive...
Bubble wrap hits 50
A genuine pop, pop, pop culture icon
Thursday, January 21, 2010
my cushy, well-paid office job just means i'm going to die sooner
according to 'experts', recent studies suggest that sitting for prolonged periods of time is bad for you... and here's the stop the presses proclamation - people who sit are more likely to be FAT! gee, i wonder why? people of the sitting persuasion are also more likely to have heart attacks and are more likely to die! did you hear what those scientist-type people just said? if you stand instead of sitting, you can live forever! FOREVER!
AND THERE'S MORE!
"Even for people who exercise, spending long stretches of time sitting at a desk is still harmful. Tim Armstrong, a physical activity expert at the World Health Organization, said people who exercise every day — but still spend a lot of time sitting — might get more benefit if that exercise were spread across the day, rather than in a single bout."
so all you uppity people at your office who brag about going to the gym for like 16 hours after work are going to die just as soon as you and your non-exercising ass! so there!
"Experts said more research is needed to figure out just how much sitting is dangerous, and what might be possible to offset those effects."
these 'experts' also recommend that you should "try to interrupt sitting as often as possible." all the more reason i should be made executive vice president of my company for suggesting that we equip every cubicle with a walkstation!
but in case your company is more concerned with making obscene amounts of money rather than the health of its employees, here are some things you can do around the office to make sure you don't drop dead tomorrow and force your loved ones to inscribe your tombstone with "Died Doing What He Loved - Sitting":
AND THERE'S MORE!
"Even for people who exercise, spending long stretches of time sitting at a desk is still harmful. Tim Armstrong, a physical activity expert at the World Health Organization, said people who exercise every day — but still spend a lot of time sitting — might get more benefit if that exercise were spread across the day, rather than in a single bout."
so all you uppity people at your office who brag about going to the gym for like 16 hours after work are going to die just as soon as you and your non-exercising ass! so there!
"Experts said more research is needed to figure out just how much sitting is dangerous, and what might be possible to offset those effects."
these 'experts' also recommend that you should "try to interrupt sitting as often as possible." all the more reason i should be made executive vice president of my company for suggesting that we equip every cubicle with a walkstation!
but in case your company is more concerned with making obscene amounts of money rather than the health of its employees, here are some things you can do around the office to make sure you don't drop dead tomorrow and force your loved ones to inscribe your tombstone with "Died Doing What He Loved - Sitting":
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
mmm... excrement-y
let's just start out by saying that chocolate is tops in my books. however, there are more aesthetically pleasing ways to use it on things that are purportedly edible. i mean, look at that thing! if it were ice cream and baskin & robbins was adding a 32nd flavour it would be called tightly coiled. that's the most appetizing sentence i've written all day!ok, so now that my disgust with the poo cupcake is out of the way, we can get on to the real reason i made this post - a mini cupcake machine!
it's like a waffle iron only it makes cupcakes (arguably, you could probably pour cupcake batter into your waffle iron and it would produce similar results) and a scant few of them at that. sure, it may only take five minutes to cook but whoever you're serving them to will be done with that batch of 7 before you've even had a chance to refill the pan to make the next batch. and let's, for a second, be unrealistic and say that you only wanted 7... what do you do with the rest of the batter?
this little mircale won't cost you $100, or even $75... it won't even cost you $40! can you believe it folks, they are practically giving it away for the ridonkulously low price of $32.95!
or, i have a better idea, you could trot yourself over to walmart and buy the pan that makes 24 mini cupcakes at a time for like $15 and turn on your oven for once in your life... (it's that thing with the twirly patterns on the top between the sink and the fridge.) i've had phenomenal success with it and i think you can too!
come fly away with me
now, where can i get me one of those?
so long sucky commute! all my commutes are going to be rocket-powered from now on! the future is good, my friends. the future is good.
wardrobe malfuntion waiting to happen
so apparently this is katerina graham from 'The Vampire Diaries"... and that's quite the interesting 'dress' she's got going on there. it looks like it has a tear-away cooter cover! well, yes, it is very 'risque' and being one of the hot, young starlets of a hot, new tv show does entail garnering a certain amount of media attention... i don't know if this is exactly the way you want to go about it.i mean, just look at janet jackson - she had her little mishap and then WHAM! her brother up and dies. coincidence? i think not.
too soon?
you know, i tried to watch TVD (mostly because ian somerhalder is smokin' hot) but i just couldn't get into it... maybe it was because it kept jumping around from time slot to time slot on different networks or maybe it was because there was just too much angst-y drama from my non-teenage self to handle.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
let that bake your brain for a day or two...
The townspeople of Oakville, Washington, were in for a surprise on August 7, 1994. Instead of their usual downpour of rain, the inhabitants of the small town witnessed countless gelatinous blobs falling from the sky. Once the globs fell, almost everyone in Oakville started to develop severe, flu-like symptoms that lasted anywhere from 7 weeks to 3 months. Finally, after exposure to the goo caused his mother to fall ill, one resident sent a sample of the blobs for testing. What the technicians discovered was shocking – the globs contained human white blood cells. The substance was then brought to the State Department of Health of Washington for further analysis. With another startling reveal, they discovered that the gelatinous blobs had two types of bacteria, one of which is found in the human digestive system. However, no one could successfully identify the blob, and how they were connected to the mysterious sickness that plagued the town.
ewwie! literally, human crap falling from the sky!
i don't even want to think about how that go into the water cycle!
it's seriously like a scene out of a michael crichton bleak future book!
well, if that wasn't enough to tax your brain, here are a few more unsolved mysteries for you to try to unravel:
"10 Enigmas That Defy Explanation"
[via neatorama]
ewwie! literally, human crap falling from the sky!
i don't even want to think about how that go into the water cycle!
it's seriously like a scene out of a michael crichton bleak future book!
well, if that wasn't enough to tax your brain, here are a few more unsolved mysteries for you to try to unravel:
"10 Enigmas That Defy Explanation"
[via neatorama]
we're all going to die!
and here's one of the very probable reasons why:
Self Replicating Printers
I'm sure many of you have heard of the RepRap, the open sourced rapid prototyping 3D printer. It's all kinds of awesome, as you can use it to create three dimensional objects from simple patterns. The coolest feature? You can use one RepRap to create most of a second unit! Whoa, hang on a second there. Machines that can self replicate? Yeah, there's no way in hell that could go wrong, right? Jesus, when Skynet grabs this tech, the robots will be popping out babies faster than the Duggars.
"15 Ways Science Will Kill Us All"
[via neatorama]
Self Replicating Printers
I'm sure many of you have heard of the RepRap, the open sourced rapid prototyping 3D printer. It's all kinds of awesome, as you can use it to create three dimensional objects from simple patterns. The coolest feature? You can use one RepRap to create most of a second unit! Whoa, hang on a second there. Machines that can self replicate? Yeah, there's no way in hell that could go wrong, right? Jesus, when Skynet grabs this tech, the robots will be popping out babies faster than the Duggars.
"15 Ways Science Will Kill Us All"
[via neatorama]
Monday, January 18, 2010
word of the day - jan 18 10
surreptitious
1. done, made, or gotten by stealth.
2. acting with or marked by stealth.
like ninjas!
1. done, made, or gotten by stealth.
2. acting with or marked by stealth.
like ninjas!
idiot move of 2009
perhaps the inspiration for those awful-ass dentyne gum canadian face tattoo commercials?
this matthew kid went and got sunglasses (frame only, no eyeball tattoos here!) tattooed on his face! on his freaking face! and he had the decency to keep a photographic record of the event. gross!
this matthew kid went and got sunglasses (frame only, no eyeball tattoos here!) tattooed on his face! on his freaking face! and he had the decency to keep a photographic record of the event. gross!
Friday, January 15, 2010
i guess a few of them didn't meet their goal...
"Weight Watchers floor collapses"
VAXJO, Sweden, Jan. 14 (UPI) -- Members of a Swedish Weight Watchers clinic said a floor collapsed from under a group of about 20 dieters participating in a weighing event.
The participants said they were gathered at the Vaxjo clinic Wednesday night to measure the amount of weight they had lost with the help of the program when they heard a loud noise shortly followed by the collapse of the floor, Swedish news agency Tidningarnas Telegrambyra reported Thursday.
"We suddenly heard a huge thud; we almost thought it was an earthquake and everything flew up in the air. The floor collapsed in one corner of the room and along the walls," one of the members said.
The group said the floor then gave out in other parts of the room and the smell of sewage spread throughout the area.
"We're going to have to find a replacement premises," Weight Watchers consultant Therese Levin said.
The participants, who were not injured, said they finished weighing one another in a nearby hallway.
Weight Watchers said the cause of the collapse is being investigated.
VAXJO, Sweden, Jan. 14 (UPI) -- Members of a Swedish Weight Watchers clinic said a floor collapsed from under a group of about 20 dieters participating in a weighing event.
The participants said they were gathered at the Vaxjo clinic Wednesday night to measure the amount of weight they had lost with the help of the program when they heard a loud noise shortly followed by the collapse of the floor, Swedish news agency Tidningarnas Telegrambyra reported Thursday.
"We suddenly heard a huge thud; we almost thought it was an earthquake and everything flew up in the air. The floor collapsed in one corner of the room and along the walls," one of the members said.
The group said the floor then gave out in other parts of the room and the smell of sewage spread throughout the area.
"We're going to have to find a replacement premises," Weight Watchers consultant Therese Levin said.
The participants, who were not injured, said they finished weighing one another in a nearby hallway.
Weight Watchers said the cause of the collapse is being investigated.
word of the day - jan 15 10
cogitate
intransitive verb
1. to think deeply or intently; to ponder; to meditate.
2. to think about; to ponder on; to meditate upon; to plan or plot.
intransitive verb
1. to think deeply or intently; to ponder; to meditate.
2. to think about; to ponder on; to meditate upon; to plan or plot.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
on the road again...
so i was merrily navigating traffic this morning and i look over to see my purse sitting in a puddle of chocolate millk... the majority of my tasty drink had spilled in the passenger seat! i easily plucked my purse out of the mire but then i really get to see just how much liquid was there.
there i am rolling along the busiest highway in ontario and there is NO WAY i'm getting off to try and find paper towels or napkins or something. so i just keep moving along, watching the huge puddle diminish as it soaked into the seat... milk. soaking into the seat. malk that will eventually go bad and absolutely reek. but like, what am i going to do? remove the seat and run it through the washing machine?? instead i sacrificed my gloves to try and soak up at least a little bit of the milk - they CAN go in the washing machine!
when i finally got to the office, i got a huge wad of paper towels that will hopefully mitigate the disaster. it's a good thing that the heater doesn't exactly work in my car because that way i'm not going to have to worry about the smell until the weather warms up. that gives me a solid 4 months of stink-free travel.
there i am rolling along the busiest highway in ontario and there is NO WAY i'm getting off to try and find paper towels or napkins or something. so i just keep moving along, watching the huge puddle diminish as it soaked into the seat... milk. soaking into the seat. malk that will eventually go bad and absolutely reek. but like, what am i going to do? remove the seat and run it through the washing machine?? instead i sacrificed my gloves to try and soak up at least a little bit of the milk - they CAN go in the washing machine!
when i finally got to the office, i got a huge wad of paper towels that will hopefully mitigate the disaster. it's a good thing that the heater doesn't exactly work in my car because that way i'm not going to have to worry about the smell until the weather warms up. that gives me a solid 4 months of stink-free travel.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
well thank jesus, again!
"No Tobey Maguire In 'Spider-Man 4'"
turns out the next movie in marvel's worst carried out major movie franchise will be a prequel and not only has tobey maguire pulled out but there are no plans to include kirsten dunst either hurray! so unlike the x-men movie line shooting itself in the foot with the ghastly X3 and wolverine movies, spidey might actually be turning things around!
i don't know why the first 3 movies were these huge blockbusters... sure, i saw them when they came to video but i certainly didn't find them wildly entertaining. and neither tobey nor kirsten looked like they could act their way out of a paper bag!
so yeah, i can't wait to see what new faces they get to play the leads and if they can salvage the franchise (for me at least) by taking it in a new direction... although, a prequel of spider-man BEFORE he got his powers is going to be pretty boring if you ask me.
turns out the next movie in marvel's worst carried out major movie franchise will be a prequel and not only has tobey maguire pulled out but there are no plans to include kirsten dunst either hurray! so unlike the x-men movie line shooting itself in the foot with the ghastly X3 and wolverine movies, spidey might actually be turning things around!
i don't know why the first 3 movies were these huge blockbusters... sure, i saw them when they came to video but i certainly didn't find them wildly entertaining. and neither tobey nor kirsten looked like they could act their way out of a paper bag!
so yeah, i can't wait to see what new faces they get to play the leads and if they can salvage the franchise (for me at least) by taking it in a new direction... although, a prequel of spider-man BEFORE he got his powers is going to be pretty boring if you ask me.
word of the day - jan 12 10
torpor
noun
1. lacking in vitality or interest.
2. a state of mental or physical inactivity or insensibility.
3. lethargy; apathy.
noun
1. lacking in vitality or interest.
2. a state of mental or physical inactivity or insensibility.
3. lethargy; apathy.
well thank jesus!
"Beyonce Taking Break From The Music Industry"
says ms. fierce: "It's definitely time to take a break, to recharge my batteries. I'd like to take about six months and not go into the studio. I need to just live life, to be inspired by things again."
ugh... only 6 months? how about 6 decades?
it's not that she doesn't make interesting, catchy, or commercially successful music... the part that bugs me about her is that everyone treats her like she's the greatest thing since sliced bread or the second coming of jesus (him again?) or something... she can literally do no wrong. people follow her every move and fashion choice like a herd of sheep.
and i got interrupted half-way through my rant and i've lost my direction... in summary - beyonce and her marketing juggernaut make my skin crawl and i hope she stays away from the music industry (or any industry for that matter) for much longer than 6 months.
says ms. fierce: "It's definitely time to take a break, to recharge my batteries. I'd like to take about six months and not go into the studio. I need to just live life, to be inspired by things again."
ugh... only 6 months? how about 6 decades?
it's not that she doesn't make interesting, catchy, or commercially successful music... the part that bugs me about her is that everyone treats her like she's the greatest thing since sliced bread or the second coming of jesus (him again?) or something... she can literally do no wrong. people follow her every move and fashion choice like a herd of sheep.
and i got interrupted half-way through my rant and i've lost my direction... in summary - beyonce and her marketing juggernaut make my skin crawl and i hope she stays away from the music industry (or any industry for that matter) for much longer than 6 months.
Monday, January 11, 2010
a who's who of young celebrities
ok, after a bit of research, this scene isn't as confusing as i once thought but it's still worth my time since lately i've been running dangerously low on content.
so you might be thinking to yourself, "neither of those people are ryan phillippe or reese witherspoon and i have no idea what abbie cornish looks like so that MIGHT be her... but what do maybe abbie cornish and channing tatum have to do with anything? are they having an affair? it that the ONLY picture of maybe abbie cornish in existence?"
all of those are perfectly valid questions. but then you realize that you have no idea what ryan phillippe in extreme profile looks like and then you start wondering if that guy in the red shirt might be him. then you're all like, "how did they make his neck look like it belongs to an octogenarian? and is abbie cornish an actress? what movie was she in with maybe 80-year-old ryan phillippe and channing tatum?" and then you take to the interwebs and find out it was a movie called stop-loss and that there are probably billions of other pictures out there from the movie that featured the scandalous couple they were talking about rather than channing tatum's pilsbury face.
so you might be thinking to yourself, "neither of those people are ryan phillippe or reese witherspoon and i have no idea what abbie cornish looks like so that MIGHT be her... but what do maybe abbie cornish and channing tatum have to do with anything? are they having an affair? it that the ONLY picture of maybe abbie cornish in existence?"all of those are perfectly valid questions. but then you realize that you have no idea what ryan phillippe in extreme profile looks like and then you start wondering if that guy in the red shirt might be him. then you're all like, "how did they make his neck look like it belongs to an octogenarian? and is abbie cornish an actress? what movie was she in with maybe 80-year-old ryan phillippe and channing tatum?" and then you take to the interwebs and find out it was a movie called stop-loss and that there are probably billions of other pictures out there from the movie that featured the scandalous couple they were talking about rather than channing tatum's pilsbury face.
Friday, January 8, 2010
bye bye money!
i just got my lowest cell phone bill ever and i'm not impressed.
the plan i have costs me $35/month for XX minutes (i forget how many exactly... more than 200) and unlimited text/picture messages. and yet, with only $0.15 (yup, only 15 measly cents) my bill is still almost $50. ridiculous.
it's the 'other fees' category that doing it...
first, there's $0.50 911 access charge which is acceptable because if the need arises for me to require emergency assistance (knock on wood) i think 50 cents is a perfectly acceptable price.
but then there's that (as koodo would put it) pesky 'system access fee'... $6.95 a month! that's almost 20% of my original $35 plan! how can the big cell phone companies get away with continuing to charge that fee when so many other companies are throwing it out the window? ~grumble~
and then there's the stupid freaking taxes... $5.54 in taxes... stupid, stupid, stupid.
so all the offending charges (excluding 911 access) on my bill add up to $12.49 - 26% of my total bill! $12.49 doesn't really sound like a lot but that $150 a year! i could be investing that shit or something!
gah... i'll take off my complainer's hat for now but i'm still not happy about all this.
the plan i have costs me $35/month for XX minutes (i forget how many exactly... more than 200) and unlimited text/picture messages. and yet, with only $0.15 (yup, only 15 measly cents) my bill is still almost $50. ridiculous.
it's the 'other fees' category that doing it...
first, there's $0.50 911 access charge which is acceptable because if the need arises for me to require emergency assistance (knock on wood) i think 50 cents is a perfectly acceptable price.
but then there's that (as koodo would put it) pesky 'system access fee'... $6.95 a month! that's almost 20% of my original $35 plan! how can the big cell phone companies get away with continuing to charge that fee when so many other companies are throwing it out the window? ~grumble~
and then there's the stupid freaking taxes... $5.54 in taxes... stupid, stupid, stupid.
so all the offending charges (excluding 911 access) on my bill add up to $12.49 - 26% of my total bill! $12.49 doesn't really sound like a lot but that $150 a year! i could be investing that shit or something!
gah... i'll take off my complainer's hat for now but i'm still not happy about all this.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
rules to live your life by
"Twenty Life Lessons Learned From New Super Mario Bros. Wii"- never trust a flying turtle.
- make it a habit to bang your head against brick walls. sometimes money comes out.
- when choosing between shooting fireballs and iceballs, consider the climate.
- reincarnation is real.
- you can walk on clouds.
- water, too.
- if you have spare time, jump around aimlessly until free stuff starts appearing.
- money grows on trees.
- why not just wear the same outfit every day?
- throw animals whenever you can.
- unless they're big enough for you to ride on them.
- climbing inside cannons isn't dangerous at all.
- jumping directly on top of a flagpole is worth the pain.
- exercise isn't going to shrink your fat belly.
- brown mushrooms: bad.
- colorful mushroom: great.
- money buys happiness.
- if you get stuck, call your smarter and more patient little brother.
- every man should be willing to put his life on hold for a princess.
- a plumber can accomplish great things.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
word of the day - jan 6 10
flibbertigibbetnoun
a silly, flighty, or scatterbrained person, especially a pert young woman with such qualities.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
word of the day - jan 5 10
presage
noun
1. an indication or warning of a future event; an omen.
2. a feeling or intuition of what the future holds.
3. prophetic significance.
4. [archaic] a prediction; a prognostication.
noun
1. an indication or warning of a future event; an omen.
2. a feeling or intuition of what the future holds.
3. prophetic significance.
4. [archaic] a prediction; a prognostication.
dreading the week ahead
so miserable mississauga summoned me here for monday and guess what?
now i've been condemned to be here possibly all week!
but i'm going to put my foot down and all-out refuse to be here on friday. traffic is fucktareded enough on normal days, let alone crazy fridays! i mean mondays are a little insane but people are just absolutely batty by friday... and are all clamouring to get home/out of town ASAP. anyway, hopefully my resolve holds up and i get my way... work is very unlike home where i ALWAYS get my way.
now i've been condemned to be here possibly all week!but i'm going to put my foot down and all-out refuse to be here on friday. traffic is fucktareded enough on normal days, let alone crazy fridays! i mean mondays are a little insane but people are just absolutely batty by friday... and are all clamouring to get home/out of town ASAP. anyway, hopefully my resolve holds up and i get my way... work is very unlike home where i ALWAYS get my way.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
dreading the day ahead
so if the shitstorm of weather that was unleashed on us today continues tomorrow i will NOT be a happy camper. it's the first monday back to work after a nice 2 week paid vacation and i have been summoned to miserable mississauga. so instead of the 10 minute drive i would normally have to settle me back into work-mode, i get an hour of idiot-filled shenanigans in bad weather. the weather is going to force me to leave even earlier... sleep has become VERY important to me over the holidays - 11 hours each night feels about normal. hopefully i can just tuck my ass into bed early and fall asleep right away so i can get all my beauty sleep before 6:00AM rolls around. i'm tired just thinking about it all!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
here's to 2010
so 2009 wasn't THAT bad... we survived it, right? that's the important part, right? i think so.
your mission for 2010, should you choose to accept it, is to make 2010 more interesting than 2009! i've already started my plan but you're just going to have to wait and see what i have planned... it'll be a surprise! maybe the surprise will be that i haven't planned anything at all! ha HA! wouldn't that mess with your head?? after all, i DO need to keep you on your toes... that would definitely be interesting.
your mission for 2010, should you choose to accept it, is to make 2010 more interesting than 2009! i've already started my plan but you're just going to have to wait and see what i have planned... it'll be a surprise! maybe the surprise will be that i haven't planned anything at all! ha HA! wouldn't that mess with your head?? after all, i DO need to keep you on your toes... that would definitely be interesting.
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