Showing posts with label musicology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label musicology. Show all posts

Monday, July 11, 2011

there's no shame in being second

Announcer: And now, Avis Rent-A-Car is proud to present the scond best band in America. Will you welcome Garfunkel, Messina, Oates, and Lisa singing their number two hit, "Born to Runner-Up"
[band begins to play, audience boos]
Lisa: Why would they come to our concert just to boo us?

so there's no shame in being second but there is shame in being a jonas.
case in point: Jonas booed, pelted with basketballs

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

belarus: full of elderly prudes?

ok, so that sounds overly inflammatory i suppose... but that's just what this story makes me think. i know people have different ideas in different parts of the world and north america IS just a giant cesspool of filth and immorality... being a "liberal young person," this kind of thing just brings out the shit-disturbing activist in me.

Belarus officials fear promotion of gay lifestyle at Elton John gig 

Officials in Belarus have asked the organizers of an upcoming Elton John concert in Minsk to prevent the promotion of homosexuality.

The Public Council for Morality is to study recordings of earlier performances by the British singer to make sure “they have no elements inconsistent with the law and morality,” the head of the organization said.

“We have requested the organizers of the concert to give us records of Elton John’s earlier performances,” he said.

[what? they don't have youtube?] 

Nikolai Cherginets said the Council is particularly concerned over the openly gay singer’s statement in an interview with a U.S. magazine that Jesus was a "super-intelligent gay man."

[ok, that might be poking the bear *snicker* a little much for the churchies, elton...] 

Elton John will play at the Minsk Arena on June 26 as part of his European summer tour.

Sexual minorities have become active in the country of late and “even attempted to hold a gay parade in Minsk,” Cherginets said. The attempted parade was broken up by police.

Cherginets said the Council had already prevented outbreaks of “immorality” during a May concert by German industrial metal band Rammstein in the Belarusian capital.

“If we had not interfered, there would have been sex on stage and the relief of physical needs right in front of the audience,” the official said.

[heavens! not the relief of physical needs!] 

The Public Council for Morality was established in 2009 by the Belarusian Orthodox Church and the Writers Union of Belarus, with the support of President Alexander Lukashenko.

Friday, April 9, 2010

word of the day - apr 9 10

indefatigable
adjective
incapable of being fatigued; not readily exhausted; untiring; unwearying; not yielding to fatigue.

we're the knights of the round table
we dance when e'er we're able
we do routines and chorus scenes
with footwork im-pecc-able
we dine well here in camelot
we eat ham and jam and spam a lotwe're the knights of the round table our
shows are for-mid-able
but many time we're given rhymes
that are quite un-sing-able
we're opera mid in camelot
we sing from the di-a-phragm a lot
oh we're tough and able
quite in-de-fat-i-gable
between our quests we sequin vest
and im-per-son-ate clark gable
it's a busy life in camelot
i have to push the pram a lot

Friday, March 5, 2010

the things that only prince would sing about

you've had enough of two hand touch
you want it rough you're out of bounds
i want you smothered want you covered
like my waffle house hash browns

come quicker than fed-ex never reach an apex
just like coca cola stock
you are inclined to make me rise an hour early
just like daylight savings time

(do it now)
you and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
so let's do it like they do it on the discovery channel
(do it again now)
you and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel
(gettin' horny now)

love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
like the the lost catacombs of egypt only god knows where we stuck it
hieroglyphics let me be pacific i wanna be down in your south seas
but i got this notion that the motion of your ocean means small craft advisory

so if i capsize on your thighs high tide be five you sunk my battleship
please turn me on i'm mister coffee with an automatic drop
so show me yours i'll show you mine tool time and you'll lovett just like lyle
and then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch x-files

Monday, March 1, 2010

oh, canada...

is anyone else a little mortified to be canadian after last night's olympic closing ceremonies?

it was bad enough that they kicked off the entire show with a clown!
i should have called it quits right then... unfortunately, that would have meant missing delightful appearances by bill shatner and michael j. fox so i'm sort of glad i kept the tv on.

i think we poked a little too much fun at ourselves and we should be ashamed. if a foreign country was asked to produce a musical that reeked of canadiana, this is what would be produced... wait, was this an outsourced production?
a choreographed ballet with giant beavers and mounties?
what? no igloos?!?

and then the much anticipated and speculated over musical extravaganza... who the mother ficus was in charge of that shitstorm???

1) ok, neil young. yes, he's the canadian man in black. everyone was fine with that.

2) i don't think ANY canadian ever in the history of the world wanted us to showcase on an international stage that our country is responsible for nickelback... i think the roar of disapproval when they came on was louder than than cheers when mr. crosby scored that last goal.

3) and if you thought it couldn't get more nationally degrading than nickelback, boy were you ever wrong. the travesty continued as they let the high school dropout from napanee play not one but TWO songs!

5) alright, i'll admit. alanis looked AMAZING!

4) the show organizers get bonus marks for including k-os to bring a little diversity to the party but was he really the right note to end on?

5) apparently not because then they brought out some crazy french band literally playing garbage! i was really hoping they'd knock everyone's socks off and end with the tragically hip or the guess who... that would have been just enough to salvage the entire dreadful evening.

oh well, maybe we'll make a better showing next time we are permitted to hold the world's most prestigious sporting event... if there is a next time.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

well thank jesus!

"Beyonce Taking Break From The Music Industry"

says ms. fierce: "It's definitely time to take a break, to recharge my batteries. I'd like to take about six months and not go into the studio. I need to just live life, to be inspired by things again."

ugh... only 6 months? how about 6 decades?
it's not that she doesn't make interesting, catchy, or commercially successful music... the part that bugs me about her is that everyone treats her like she's the greatest thing since sliced bread or the second coming of jesus (him again?) or something... she can literally do no wrong. people follow her every move and fashion choice like a herd of sheep.

and i got interrupted half-way through my rant and i've lost my direction... in summary - beyonce and her marketing juggernaut make my skin crawl and i hope she stays away from the music industry (or any industry for that matter) for much longer than 6 months.

Monday, December 7, 2009

priority seating

similar to this piece of internet flotsam, this is an actual picture from the weezer concert on saturday night in toronto before all the unpleasant bus crashing:an actual text from the cute girl (hi sis! don't smite me from afar for posting a picture of you on the internets!) in the plaid shirt:
"His bum is definitely on part ofwmy seat"

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

word of the day - nov 25 09

diatribe
noun
a bitter verbal attack or speech.

you're like iodine chasing all the storms away
you're like a black ops licorice masquerade
you're like a buzz, i'm looking for a bee
you're like a tack in a paperclip factory
to me

you're like diatribe calling on a quest for me
you're like the ideal rainy day activity
you're like a sine, emphasis on green
you're like ladybugs turning into jelly beans

you're like iodine chasing all the storms away
you're like a black ops licorice masquerade
you're like a buzz, i'm looking for a bee
you're like a tack in a paperclip factory
to me

you're like a trance for looking at a better way
you're like a test maze keeping all the me's at bay
you're like a play, that's like a pen
you're like m.c. escher but a ten

you're like iodine chasing all the storms away
you're like a black ops licorice masquerade
you're like a buzz, i'm looking for a bee
you're like a tack in a paperclip factory
to me

you're like 2 and 15/16ths
to the north east of me
you're like 2 and 15/16ths
to the north east of me

Friday, October 23, 2009

feeling like ass never felt so good

remember my gripe about mid-week shows last week?
well, i have an addendum - REALLY don't do it!

but i have to admit, the show last night was ALMOST worth feeling this horrid... i have yet to empty my stomach contents orally so it's all still good int he hood. whether or not this breakfast sandwich i'm eating was a good idea is yet to be decided.

anyway, the show last night was USS at circa.
never failing to amaze, the guys were completely amped and they put on an amazing show. whatever they are on, everyone needs to get some of that! somewhere in the universe, stars are dying at an alarming rate due to the energy these guys are absorbing.
so this show was billed as a 'house party' and was sponsered by smirnoff... those damned sugary drinks (i'm looking at you smirnoff ice!) always make the next day so very taxing. especially when there are complimentary drinks involved... at first they were only offering their 'signature drinks' with the free drink tickets but by the end of the night, a ticket was good for any mixed vodka drink. if i was going to have a 'signature drink' i would definitely make something that was a little less disgusting. the one i ended up trying was this vodka/baileys/expresso thing that was so bitter that i pretty much gagged from the smell before it even hit my lips.
i guess sugary drinks do have their upside though... like keeping old people like myself awake until the band hits the stage at 12:30! friggin' eh! the show didn't finish until like 1:45! and then i wasn't in bed until like 3:00! not good news... i am SERIOUSLY thinking about having a nap under my desk at lunchtime. and one more at like 2:30... and then again at 3:30... and maybe another nap right about now too... that'd be nice!update: the first half of the breakfast sandwich was a good idea... the second half, not so much.

Friday, October 16, 2009

concert review: silversun pickups

WHO: silversun pickups
WHERE: sound academy, toronto
WHEN: october 15, 2009
ok so i've been waiting to see this show since like forever. i bought the tickets way back during the advanced presale! needless to say, i was pretty excited. i saw SSPU for the first time at sasquatch this summer and i'd never really heard of them. but i enjoyed them and started listening for them on the radio. the more i heard, the more i liked!

the show was very well performed. lead vocalist brian aubert has a very distinctive voice and in my opinion is a very good singer. he was no disappointment live. the whole band was full of energy and genuinely happy to be playing to this crowd. toronto has been very good to them and they enjoy putting on shows here.

the only disappointment i can think of is that they didn't play a show for casual fans. this can be a plus or minus depending on what side of the fan fence you sit on... the hardcore fans were probably thrilled that they played a super long set. casual fans maybe not so much... they music was good but waiting for your favourite (read: radio played) songs can really drag a show out. even though i was really excited for the show, i would class myself as a casual fan and i found myself dipping mid-set. instead of spreading out the easily recognizable tunes, they bookended the performance with them. it made for an AWESOME finale but it was a long time coming.

being older than i'm willing to admit, i am starting to seriously dislike midweek shows... doors for this show didn't open until 8 and on the way to the show the radio announced that SSPU wouldn't be going on until 11! so you bet on at least 45-50 minute set + an encore and things NEVER run on schedule... so then damn! you're not home and in bed until 1:30! having to get up for work 5 hours later just ruins your friday.

despite what sounds like a long list of complaints i would most definitely see them again next time they hit toronto. you should too.

backing bands:
an horse - a rocking and folksy (if the two can co-exist) from brisbane, australia. they played a good little set... so much sound for a little twosome! i don't have any of the lyrics or melodies stuck in my head but i definitely enjoyed them. there were definitely some people in the crowd who REALLY enjoyed them. i can never understand how some fans can get SO worked up with all the screaming and the yelling and the jumping up and down for mellower-sounding bands - such a contradiction... but whatever, all of their cds were sold out before i even got into the building!

cage the elephant - for only knowing their one overplayed radio hit, i thoroughly enjoyed this performance. my only complaint - the voice mic was cranked up way too loud... other than my slightly annoyed eardrums, the rest of me was (pardon the retro hipster in me) moving and shaking to the beat. lead singer matt shultz apparently didn't take his ritalin for the past month because he was bouncing off the walls, the floor, and the crowd. if he didn't have a mic in his hand, you might have thought he was having a seizure. i will definitely be downloading their album in a no way illegal manner.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Thursday, September 17, 2009

BIG. HOT. MESS.

and not in a good way...lady gaga... MTV VMAs... good sweet mike that's a whole lotta crazy!

this is by far the funniest comment i've seen that properly describes the event to people who didn't see if with their very own eyes:
(503): hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
(1-503): all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis

and look at what she wore to accept whatever award she got! even EMINEM is like WTF?!?!

Friday, July 17, 2009

least likely pairing of the day

snoop dog and...

...

...

wait for it...

...

...

buzz aldrin!

and now you're all like, "buzz who?"
buzz aldrin! legenday runner-up (aka loser) in the first-man-on-the-moon contest!
well neil armstrong's (another space cowboy, not that man in the yellow spandax) homeboy is now snoop dog's homeboy!
in the worst attempt ever to make space travel sexy and cool, the unlikely duo is working on a rap, entitled "rocket experience", for the 40th anniversary of the biggest stage production in american history - the moon landing!

i tell the story 'bout my time on the moon now
the sky was black even though the sun shine down
moonwalking's such a trip, it's so fine
when you're walking in the lunar dust

did i mention that mr. aldrin is 79?!?
craziness...

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

important life lessons from 3OH!3

T-t-tongues always pressed to your cheeks
While my tongue is on the inside of some other girl's teeth
You tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef
That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him

She wants to touch me, woo ooh
She wants to love me, woo ooh
She'll never leave me woo ooh, woo ooh, ooh ooh
Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho
Won't trust a ho 'cause the ho won't trust me

Thursday, May 28, 2009

hear with your eyes

as a precursor to me actually writing about what i did this past weekend, i thought i'd post some pictures of some of the bands i saw while at sasquatch!

Doves
Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele
The Decemberists
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Kings of Leon
(altho you'd never know it... my camera - not so good at taking pictures in the dark.)
The Avett Brothers
The Murder City Devils
TV on the Radio
Nine Inch Nails
Jane's Addiction
(apologies for picture quality... it was the BEST one i got! my camera & the dark again.)
Blitzen Trapper
Silversun Pickups
Erykah Badu

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

and i'm back!

that's right... run for the hills!
i'm back. back and exhausted.
(so i guess you don't need to run all that fast. also, i have short legs so i don't go very fast in the first place... but i'm sly to make up for it so you'd still better be on the lookout for me! i'll get you when you least expect it. like jagulars - you look up and then they drop on you.)

i would fill you in on my super-duper weekend but i'm all lazy right now. instead, i'm going to leave you with a few pictures, and some non-trip-related posts. suck it!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

taking to the skies!

so tonight i'm boarding a plane to vancouver and tomorrow i'm getting in a car and headed off to george, washington, just east of seattle...

and why would i be doing that you ask?

well the answer is quite obvious and i'm surprised you didn't think of it yourself being as smart as you are... but i feel compelled to enlighten you anyway...

SASQUATCH!

see? easy!
how did you not guess that?

the sasquatch music festival...
3 days of music, sun, and fun.
and with a lineup like this, who could resist?
major artists include: kings of leon, yeah yeah yeahs, jane's addictions, nine inch nails, tv on the radio, the walkmen, ben harper, erykah badu, and the silversun pickups!it's memorial day weekend down south so this is a 3-day extravaganza...

that means i won't be back until wednesday! (technically tuesday but i plan to be sleeping off the weekend most of the day and not in any condition to be posting.)

so you're on your own until then... with the exception of any other posts i manage today. but you've managed to get by without me in the past... and if you're thinking of just quitting me altogether, don't. rest assured that i will have lots of pictures and stories when i get back!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

i'm sorry, i didn't catch that...

i had a piece of WTF!?! in my ear...

Rumor: Jamie Foxx To Play Frank Sinatra

from britain's daily star:
" Jamie would seem to be born to the role. Magnificent voice, convincing acting ability - like Frank himself - born the wrong side of the tracks, makes it big against all odds, has his brush with authority. The guy's a gift."

this is a joke right?
you can't report something like this and expect to be taken seriously, right?

i mean... yeah for affirmative action and equal opportunity but it's a biopic... there are SOME things that just need to be the way they were.

ok so maybe if everyone and their brother can play bob dylan, maybe jamie foxx can do sinatra?