getting out of the kitchen

fine, it's hot. are you happy now?

phoenix gets dusted

this can't be good...

check out more pictures: Another dust storm in Arizona

more seafood apocalypse

F*CK! SUPER INTELLIGENT FISH!!!

Diver takes first ever photos of a wild fish using a tool

The pictures provide fantastic proof of these intelligent fish at work using tools to access prey that they would otherwise miss out on.

PREY LIKE HUMANS!

Dr. Brown described the fish's actions as 'landing absolutely pinpoint blows.'

DEADLY ACCURACY!

more proof that we're clearly doomed.

the end will come from the seas!

i really think we need to be on a higher alert level for what i am going to call the "seafood apocalypse".... i don't know about you but if squids with elbows and immortal jellyfish have me freaked right the f*ck out.

AND NOW THIS!

Jellyfish Invade Four Nuclear Reactors in Japan, Israel, Scotland
Four nuclear reactors in Japan, Israel and Scotland were forced to shutdown due to the infiltration of enormous swarms of jellyfish, which clogged the plant's cooling system.

for eff's sake! they're organized! this is a full-blown kamikaze attack! THREAT LEVEL 11!

arm yourselves!

so i guess spending one's days in bed does have some disadvantages because my weapon is a pillow...

the end is nigh...

prepare for the end

ok, i know i talk about the apocalypse and the end of the world all the time but this time it might actually be true!!! so take precautions and start laying in supplies for your basement bunker.

Hair flip is key to Justin Bieber bob
Tweens flock to Toronto salons to get singing sensation's shaggy hairdo

i sincerely hope they mean that tween girls are flocking to the hairdresser to ruin their heads with this hair-don't because if boys are hoping to get some attention with his style, they had better only be interested in other boys.

this kid is annoying to the nth degree and deserves the same attention (if not less) than expired beef jerky. like most kid/tween obsessions, i simply do not get it and i sincerely hope that i am able to raise my future children well enough that they do not get brainwashed into liking this type of shiznat.

blood, frogs, lice, flies, livestock death, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, boobs

"Women who do not dress modestly...lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases (consequently) earthquakes."

~ senior Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi

Women strut their stuff for Boobquake
Women flaunt their breasts in protest

and guess what? 
nothing happened!

According to the United States Geological Survey website there were 45 earthquakes worldwide as of Monday evening, including a 6.5-magnitude earthquake southeast of Taiwan and a 5.4 near the South Sandwich Islands region. In fact, over the last six days the number of earthquakes has ranged from 41 to 48.

the stuff nightmares are made of

ok, so i WAS going to try and pick another picture off this site but i just couldn't do it... i barely got past the second second picture and the third picture had me in a panicked rush to turn off the whole internet entirely. so i'm just going to use the picture from the forwarding site... it is frightening enough.

if that picture along with the popular myth that you swallow about a dozen spiders in your sleep over your lifetime didn't have you running for the hill (arguable a bad choice since spiders like nature) then maybe you'll be interested in this site:

ROFLSpiders

Here's a little description from the site:

At the risk of sound preachy or ruining the joke by deconstructing it,  this website is powered by the kind of irony that is only possible on the internet, being our humble counter-response to those other terrible and uncreative image macro sites out there.
Or, maybe you just like spiders.  That’s cool too. 

DISCLAIMER: unless you want to feel creeped out for the rest of the day (or for the rest of your life), DO NOT visit this site. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

laugh so you don't cry

"He told people he was preparing for a fossil fuel apocalypse, when bikes would reign supreme."
~ of Igor Kenk, convicted bicycle theif

the laughter dies off rather quickly when you realize that this crazy man (thinks of his bikes like his puppies and was ordered by the courts to have a psychological assessment) it probably right...

surely, the world is coming to an end

"Gary Busey Welcomes Baby Boy"

i suppose the biggest horror in this whole situation is that someone would actually have... relations with gary busey! or as i like to call him, 'CRAZY gary busey'! he is, putting it gently, frightening.

and this isn't even the first time that relations have been had with CRAZY gary busey! he has two other children! in fact, gary's 38-year-old son "was the first to arrive at the hospital to welcome his little brother." if you have a 38-year-old son, you might be a redneck to old to be having MORE children... luckily, CRAZY gary busey's current girlfriend doesn't have a 38-year-old son... but that's because SHE'S ONLY 35!

~shudder~

so folks, gather your loved ones and make amends to whatever god you see fit because the end of the world is nigh.

the second sign of the squid-pocalypse

a certain form of jellyfish has evoluationed (totally a real word) a way to NOT DIE! immortal jellyfish! and don't think that those jellies won't share this valuable information with their good friends the squids! oh just you wait... the end of days is coming and, my friend, you better believe it'll be squid-y.oh, in case you missed the first sign of the squid-pocalypse, it was that they found squids that were growing elbows! ELBOWS! to crawl out of the sea and attack you while you sleep!!!

next step to taking over the world

squids evolving elbows!
to crawl out of the sea and attack you while you sleep!

"Mysterious 'Elbowed' Squid Caught on Video"
the origin of this is from national geographic so i'd guess it was pretty legit. the squids that is, not necessarily the taking over the world part... but i'd not discount the theory if i were you. if you're not prepared, i'm not saving you from squid-pocalypse.