just in case it ever becomes an issue, i just wanted you to know that science can now grow you a new penis in the hilarious (hilariously painful albeit) event that you lose yours or you decide that you want to try one out! you know, just FYI.Thursday, November 12, 2009
doin' it like bunnies
just in case it ever becomes an issue, i just wanted you to know that science can now grow you a new penis in the hilarious (hilariously painful albeit) event that you lose yours or you decide that you want to try one out! you know, just FYI.
boobies!
now that i have your attention...
boobies!
according to german researchers, staring at women's breasts is good for one's health!
the results of a 5-year study have shown that those who ogle women's endowments "presented a lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and decreased risk of coronary artery disease."
team leader dr. karen weatherby says, "sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. [...] just 10 minutes of looking as the charms of a well-endowed females is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobic work-out."
so there you go ladies... next time you catch a guy looking at tad lower than your face, make sure he thanks you for increasing his health and prolonging his life!**
** actually, you can go ahead and give him a sharp slap across the face because this story is totally fake!
boobies!
according to german researchers, staring at women's breasts is good for one's health!
the results of a 5-year study have shown that those who ogle women's endowments "presented a lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and decreased risk of coronary artery disease."
team leader dr. karen weatherby says, "sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. [...] just 10 minutes of looking as the charms of a well-endowed females is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobic work-out."
so there you go ladies... next time you catch a guy looking at tad lower than your face, make sure he thanks you for increasing his health and prolonging his life!**
** actually, you can go ahead and give him a sharp slap across the face because this story is totally fake!
word of the day - nov 12 09
eke
transitive verb
1. to gain or supplement with great effort or difficulty -- used with 'out'.
2. to increase or make last by being economical -- used with 'out'.
transitive verb
1. to gain or supplement with great effort or difficulty -- used with 'out'.
2. to increase or make last by being economical -- used with 'out'.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
word of the day - nov 11 09
remembrance
noun
1. a retained mental impression; memory.
2. the act or fact of remembering.
3. the power or faculty of remembering.
4. the length of time over which recollection or memory extends.
5. the state of being remembered; commemoration: to hold someone's name in remembrance.
6. something that serves to bring to mind or keep in mind some place, person, event, etc.; memento.
7. a gift given as a token of love or friendship: i sent her a small remembrance on mother's day.
8. remembrances, greetings; respects.
noun
1. a retained mental impression; memory.
2. the act or fact of remembering.
3. the power or faculty of remembering.
4. the length of time over which recollection or memory extends.
5. the state of being remembered; commemoration: to hold someone's name in remembrance.
6. something that serves to bring to mind or keep in mind some place, person, event, etc.; memento.
7. a gift given as a token of love or friendship: i sent her a small remembrance on mother's day.
8. remembrances, greetings; respects.
amazon.ca shoppers are weird...
strange recommendation aside, how can most people who have purchased kung fu panda also have purchased angels and demons when it hasn't even been released yet?PS - did you know that a kung fu panda sequel is in the works???
about face
how in the hell did this guy let himself go from "can you smell what the rock is cookin'?" to bumbling idiot extraordinaire in kid movie after kid movie? oh yeah... cold. hard. cash.
dwayne, i am so SO ashamed of you.
no, there's not excuse you can offer... don't even try. you're playing a fairy in your next movie for crying out loud!
dwayne, i am so SO ashamed of you.
no, there's not excuse you can offer... don't even try. you're playing a fairy in your next movie for crying out loud!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
star power
here is the trailer for angelina joile's upcoming blockbuster movie called salt. watch it for me...
now, is it just me or does she seem a little frail to be doing all those things she's doing? i mean it looks like you could break her like a toothpick! not like back in the lara croft days... i mean, lara croft could smash your face AND keep herself warm on a cool fall day. forget about russian assassins... i think the real threat here is angelina's lips angling at world domination by taking over the face of one of hollywood's most infulential celebrities.
now, is it just me or does she seem a little frail to be doing all those things she's doing? i mean it looks like you could break her like a toothpick! not like back in the lara croft days... i mean, lara croft could smash your face AND keep herself warm on a cool fall day. forget about russian assassins... i think the real threat here is angelina's lips angling at world domination by taking over the face of one of hollywood's most infulential celebrities.
an SNL classic
possibly the funniest SNL skit in the 2000s... it's so funny that the cast can't even keep themselves together!
ah, childhood...
err... yes, i am aware play-doh is non-toxic but i don't know if this is the message you want to be sending to kids and their parents.
Monday, November 9, 2009
it's fuzzy wuzzy!
well, actually it's dolores!and this bear definitely has NO hair!
"Who's taken my fur coat? Vets baffled by bald bears with mystery condition"
thoughts...
how much of an unhealthy slob did i feel like coming back to the office with my frosty while some more health-conscious employees are at the front door stretching after their lunchtime run...
small things...
i saw a squirrel frolicking in a raked-up pile of leaves on the weekend and it totally made my day!
word of the day - nov 9 09
skulduggery (also skullduggery)
noun
devious, dishonest, or unscrupulous behaviour or activity; also: an instance thereof.
noun
devious, dishonest, or unscrupulous behaviour or activity; also: an instance thereof.
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