my cushy, well-paid office job just means i'm going to die sooner

according to 'experts', recent studies suggest that sitting for prolonged periods of time is bad for you... and here's the stop the presses proclamation - people who sit are more likely to be FAT! gee, i wonder why? people of the sitting persuasion are also more likely to have heart attacks and are more likely to die! did you hear what those scientist-type people just said? if you stand instead of sitting, you can live forever! FOREVER!

AND THERE'S MORE!
"Even for people who exercise, spending long stretches of time sitting at a desk is still harmful. Tim Armstrong, a physical activity expert at the World Health Organization, said people who exercise every day — but still spend a lot of time sitting — might get more benefit if that exercise were spread across the day, rather than in a single bout."

so all you uppity people at your office who brag about going to the gym for like 16 hours after work are going to die just as soon as you and your non-exercising ass! so there!

"Experts said more research is needed to figure out just how much sitting is dangerous, and what might be possible to offset those effects."

these 'experts' also recommend that you should "try to interrupt sitting as often as possible." all the more reason i should be made executive vice president of my company for suggesting that we equip every cubicle with a walkstation!but in case your company is more concerned with making obscene amounts of money rather than the health of its employees, here are some things you can do around the office to make sure you don't drop dead tomorrow and force your loved ones to inscribe your tombstone with "Died Doing What He Loved - Sitting":