Wednesday, November 26, 2008

those crazy brits...

i only hit up the Daily Mail's Mail Online once in awhile but i think that's because my brain is a sieve, a sieve with holes so big all the pasta slips out. but every time i make my way over there, i can't help wonder why i'm not there ALL THE TIME! how come their news is always so much more absurd?!? absurd and crazy... and scary!

for example... the following headlines seem about normal.

"Father 'killed in samurai sword attack after neighbours clashed over child's football'"
Neighbour Gary Kelly, who had been drinking, came out of his house in Mitcham, south London, and threatened Mr Martin with a beer bottle, it was alleged.

Kelly, who was nothing to do with the boys, had called out: 'What you doing touching kids for?'

Mr Martin had called back: 'What you doing, you wife beater?'

Mr Martin returned home nearby in an angry mood, said Mr Brown.

He took a piece of wood used as a parrot perch and headed back to Kelly's home. Kelly emerged with the sword and part of a snooker cue which he used to attack Mr Martin in the front garden, said Mr Brown.

what? WHAT?!? craziness...
i enjoy the very trailer trash slinging of insults... shame someone died or else it would be entirely comical! not comical like an SNL skit, more comical like a MadTV skit.
here's another:

"Boy, 13, beat man to death and threw hom on a bonfire after catalogue of care failings"

but no matter at what crazy news items the daily mail throws my way, they'll never be my number 1 source for posts... because i will never, NEVER, never ever for give them for this.

No comments: