Thursday, November 1, 2007

the PHC awards

what is PHC you ask? prestigious halloween candy of course!
i found this amusing so i thought i'd share...
presenting the star.com's sabrina jalees' candy awards:

The Best Possible Award - Full Sized Chocolate Bars
The abode of the Costco-member-with-a-heart with boxes of regular-sized bars was the Shangri-La of treats. Once discovered, our team would mix and match costume pieces in an attempt to score a second, third or even fourth helping (depending on when the generous bar bearer would call us pathetic).

The Hit Or Miss Award - An Unsupervised Basket Accompanied By A Sign
The sign "Happy Halloween! Help Yourself!" can lead to a major cash-in or a grave disappointment. If you discover the stash early, the basket of candies is yours to allot, like a politician delegating his budget. Show up a second too late and the golden opportunity has turned into a waste of precious time.

The Most Likely To Give You Mono Award - Loose Candy Givers
Every year, at least one friendly but naive earth-lover will say to themselves, "Screw all that packaging labour and pollution, I'm going to the Bulk Barn for my treats this year!" Flash forward to the big night and they're scooping out handfuls of M&Ms with the same hands they used to dole out UNICEF quarters. [hold up... when did it become UNICEF quarters? it was always pennies back in my day!] Thanks a lot buddy, but I'll pass on the stomach flu.

The Crappiest Candy Award - The Orange-and-Black Wrapped Dark Chewy Things
Okay, so they may not be as crappy as the infamous apple-a-la-syringe, but these inedible non-treats should have been illegal a long time ago. You know the ones, those little brown hardened taffy candies that taste like molasses an poop. Each time one dropped in my bag it would be a tiny grenade of disappointment.

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